More Tales of Phantom Hysterics
by Songbird of Night
Summary: I was always told raising a family is hard work. What I didn't know is that I would have one so soon...and that it would consist of a naive teenage girl, her foppy husband, & a crazy, masked Phantom! This is me, my best friend & our awesome POTO comedy!
1. The POTO is Here On Our Doorstep!

**I apologize, but this is just another overused concept of a phan-phiction for all those Phangirls (including myself and best friend) out there!**

**Erik **_***enters with bag of Ruffles chips in hand***_**: What's there to apologize for, my dear? Every Phangirl loves these kinds of phan-phictions!**

**Me: I don't know, I was just trying to be formal!**

**Erik: Chip? **_***offers me the bag***_

**Me: No, thank you, now get out of my introduction before I get my hands on a certain Punjab lasso! And take your chips with you!**

**Erik: Okay, I'm going! **_***hastily flees from my sight and sneakily hides his lasso***_

**This particular story features me and my very best friend, Mary Frances. So, we're just two different teenagers, living together in a freaking huge house with everything two girls could ever dream of having. No parents and no rules, but, unfortunately, we do have school… BUT—we also have two awesome cars, licenses, passports, and imaginations, so what could possibly go wrong?**

**Erik **_***idly strolls back in***_**: Sounds rather dangerous… And to answer your question, A LOT could go wrong!**

**Me: ...does it look like I care?**

**Erik: Well, when you turn your head a little to the left— **_***I slap my hand over his mouth to shut him up***_

**Me: Babe, this is a freaking phan-phiction! It's supposed to be random, hysterical, and "dangerous", now get lost and let me finish! **_***Erik hangs his head and walks off again***_

**Anyway, I'm sorry the beginning is kind of slow, but once our special guests come into the picture—**

**Erik **_***jumps right back in***_**: Meaning yours truly!**

**Me: THAT'S IT! **_***goes after him with another Punjab lasso that I conjured out of thin air***_

**Erik **_***sprints in the other direction***_**: AAGHHHH! Okay, I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me!**

**Me: Wow, this turned into quite an introductory… Well, enjoy the first chapter!**

* * *

_The Phantom of the Opera is Here…On Our Doorstep_

It was supposedly just another regular Saturday morning, like any other. I sleepily open my eyes and I am in my queen bed, as usual. Pure, bright daylight is shining in through the blinds of the windows and French doors to my right: nothing odd about that. I peer over at the alarm clock on my nightstand to discover it was 8 in the morning, the usual time I manage to wake up.

I sigh and roll over, trying to think of what's on the agenda for today. I then notice my little black cat, Spooky, at my side. I absentmindedly pet her and she lazily stretches before falling right back into slumber. My thoughts are then interrupted by faint sounds coming from the master bathroom in the next room. I turn my head and study the sounds.

_Mary Frances_… I instantly confirm my own theory. Mary Frances is my housemate and very best friend in the entire world. There is no one else like her. She is like my little sister and is absolutely amazing. We have so much in common and never ever disagree over anything.

She was already up, readying herself for the day and such, with full knowledge that I take much longer to get ready than she does.

It's not that I'm a slowpoke, I just…dress differently. Mary Frances is what you would call a 'normal' girl, while I'm considered a darker, rather elegant Goth, kind of girl. She wears regular everyday clothes, while I'm entirely dressed up for any little occasion and I utterly refuse to wear certain colors (such as pink, yellow, and green.) We listen to entirely different music and are interested in different things, but somehow we always agree on everything.

I sit up and decide to get started on the day. As I stretch and slide off the side of my bed, something falls along with me and lands by my feet. It's a little book. But not just any book, my favorite book: _The Phantom of the Opera_ by Gaston Leroux.

Mary Frances and I are both obsessed with anything having to do with T_he Phantom of the Opera_. We know the whole movie and all of the lyrics by heart.

I smile slightly to myself, pick up the book, and set it on the nightstand before realizing I must have fallen asleep reading it the previous night. Sure enough, I look over into the hanging mirror and the dark makeup around my eyes is an absolute smudged mess. I was also wearing a flowing white nightgown. My long, dark chocolate, voluminous curls are quite tangled and literally everywhere.

I cross the room to my dresser and pull out a black, Evanescence band tank top, grey sports bra, and a pair of sweatpants before heading into the bathroom. Needless to say, Mary Frances was sitting at the vanity, applying her makeup. She smiled at the sight of me.

The mature fourteen year old was wearing a simple purple shirt and a pair of jeans. Half of her straight brown hair was pulled up while the other half flowed past her shoulders. She seemed to be halfway finished with her makeup, as one eye was done up while the other was still plain.

**Mary Frances **_***immediately stands up and embraces me ***_**:** Good morning, sleeping beauty!

**Me **_***hugs her back***_**:** And good morning to you, wide-awake beauty!

**Mary Frances **_***eyes my simple clothes***_**:** Going for a jog?

**Me:** Indeed, but not for long… _***I set the clothes down on the counter and begin washing the old makeup from my face* **_And it's your turn to make breakfast!

**Mary Frances **_***turns back to her own makeup***_**:** I know, do pancakes sound good?

**Me:** Excellent! _***continues scrubbing***_ I really hate it when I fall asleep with my makeup on…

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, so do I, 'cause I'm the one who always gets to scrub all the smudges out of the comforter and pillowcase.

**Me **_***rolls eyes and dries face***_**:** I promise I didn't get it on the pillowcase this time… I fell asleep reading.

**Mary Frances:** Again? What were you reading?

**Me:** _The Phantom of the Opera._ _***walks back behind the changing screen with jogging clothes***_

**Mary Frances:** Of course…

I giggle at her response, but stop short upon remembering a segment of the dream I had had last night.

**Mary Frances *after a moment of silence*:** You okay?

**Me:** Yes… _***hangs nightgown over the side of the screen***_ I think I had another dream about it last night.

I can almost hear her roll her eyes.

**Mary Frances:** Something about the _Phantom_?

It's true, I have the strangest dreams, but it's not rare to hear about me having one involving our favorite Phantom.

**Me:** Yes, but I don't remember exactly what it was about… _***finishes dressing, comes out from behind the screen, and dumps nightgown into the dirty clothes hamper***_

**Mary Frances sighs and smiles:** Oh, Narnie, you and your dreams…

'Narnie' was my unique nickname she had come up for me so long ago. In return, I call her 'May Princess'. She finishes with her makeup and stands up.

**Mary Frances:** Well, I'm going to start the laundry and then get breakfast cooking! _***heads out of the bathroom***_

I sit down and brush my curls before pulling them up into a pony tail. I let my rattail (which a small, braided section of hair set apart from all the rest) fall over my shoulder. Then I quickly apply my dark, heavy eyeliner. Once I finish, I stare at my reflection for a second and smile as my hand jumps to the single charm on my simple necklace: my Phantom mask charm.

I then leave the bathroom, slip on a pair of sneakers, and grab my iPod.

I leave the house through the front door and start off with a walk down the driveway. Once I reach the road, I put in my earbuds and shuffle the entire library. Evanescence immediately begins to play and I take off up the first street.

I love this time of morning. The sun is shining fully in the sky, the birds are singing (even if I can't hear them at the moment), and there's no one in sight.

When I reach the end of the street, I take a right to walk along the side of the neighborhood pond. By this time, the song is about to change and I am walking to catch my breath. When the next song begins to play, my eyes widen in excitement and instinct opens my mouth as I begin to sing along.

"_Think of me… Think of me fondly when we've said goodbye... Remember me, once in a while; please promise me you'll try… Then you find that once again you long to take your heart back and be free, if you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me!"_

**A voice suddenly booms out of nowhere:** CHRISTINE! SING TO ME, MY ANGEL!

I immediately stop in my tracks and look around for the source of the voice.

And, as long as I live, I will never forget the sight that met my eyes… There, on the lake to my left, was a dark, cloaked man, poling a little gondola towards the shore. And he was wearing a white mask that covered half of his gorgeous face…

**Me **_***shrieks, too shocked to move***_**:** OH MY GOD! Wha—holy freaking crap, what are you doing here?

**Erik **_***confusedly***_**:** Christine? _***continues to pole his gondola towards the shoreline***_ What in the world are you wearing?

**Me:** Uhm, I could ask you the same question, buster!

He's dressed up, as usual, in his tux, cape, and mask.

A random car drives by behind me and Erik nearly topples out of his boat at the sight of it.

**Erik **_***in astonishment***_**:** What was _THAT_?

**Me:** You have got to be kidding me… _***groans as I smack my palm against my forehead***_

But can you blame me? How often do you come across the Phantom of the Opera, poling around in his gondola in your neighborhood lake?

Apparently, he thinks I'm his Christine. I can't just leave him here, out in the open; he'll attract too much attention with his awesomeness…

My thoughts are interrupted when another car passes by and I notice the people inside the vehicle are staring at us like we're a pair of morons. I turn back to the Phantom to see that he's already pulled the boat up onto the shore and is strolling up the slope towards me.

**Me:** Alright, Erik, you know what? Come with me, we should be getting a move on, people are starting to get weirded out. _***leads him down the street***_

**Erik **_***hastily following***_**:** Where are we going, angel? And, again, what are you wearing?

**Me:** We're going home, and, um, it's a workout outfit.

**Erik:** Where's home? Well, I must say, it's quite, er, flattering on you…

**Me:** Uh, yeah, thanks… Home is at the end of this street.

He falls silent for a couple of seconds before gasping in shock.

**Erik **_***points excitedly at my necklace***_**:** My dear, you're wearing a little replica of my mask around your neck!

**Me:** Yes, it's one of my most cherished possessions… _***lightly touches it with my finger***_

He finally shuts up, but continues gaping as we walk back to the house. Once we reach it, Erik is quite fascinated by its exterior and size.

**Erik **_***in astonishment***_**:** You live _here_…?

Must be quite extravagant compared to what he's used to.

**Me:** Yes, along with my housemate.

My housemate… oh crap, what's Mary Frances going to think of this?

We approach the front door.

**Me:** Um, wait here…_***I slip inside and shut door***_

**Me **_***shrieks at the top of my lungs***_**:** MARY FRANCES!

**Mary Frances:** OHMYGOD, LAUREN? WHAT'S WRONG? _***dashes into the front parlor, armed with a frying pan and her two little yorkie puppies, Ginger and Lil' Man, yipping on either side of her***_

**Me **_***sounding ridiculously insane***_**:** The Phantom of the opera is here…on our doorstep!

**Mary Frances:** Lauren, what in the world are you talking about?

**Me:** He's out there, I found him poling around in the lake, so I brought him back here!

…can we say 'loony'?

**Mary Frances:** Narnie, I think you've officially snapped… Come and have some breakfast, it's nearly—

I cut her off by sharply opening the front door, revealing Erik, who is standing there with one of his gloved fingers extended towards the doorpost, preparing to push the doorbell button. He immediately jumps back upon noticing me and Mary Frances and the puppies, who took off into the kitchen at the sight of him.

Mary Frances, however, faints on the spot and crumbles in a heap on the floor at my feet.

**Me:** Oops…

We gape at her in a dumbfounded manner, unsure of what to make of such a reaction.

**Erik:** Well, then… _***turns back to me***_ Christine, what will happen if I push this?

**Me:** Erm, go ahead and find out for yourself!

He does so with the enthusiasm of a young child and is astounded when the chime rings out inside the house.

**Me:** Alright, now that you've discovered what the doorbell does, could you please help me get her into the living room?

**Erik:** Yes, of course… _***steps inside and effortlessly lifts Mary Frances in his arms***_

I lead him across the way into the living room. He lays her on the couch. The scenario reminds me of the point in the movie when Christine faints and the Phantom is so kind as to let her use his bed for the time being.

**Me **_***in my best commando voice***_**:** Alright, now take a seat and don't touch anything! _***goes into the kitchen and quickly runs water over a cloth***_

**Me:** I SAID NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING!

I come back to find him indeed sitting in an armchair, but fiddling with a little ballerina figurine on the table. He jumps at my shout and automatically takes his hands off the statuette.

**Mary Frances **_***bolts upright***_**:** Holy crap, what happened?

I apparently startled her out of unconsciousness.

**Me **_***makes her lie back down***_**:** Whoa, take it easy! _***places the cloth across her forehead***_ Let me explain…and please stay conscience this time: while I was jogging, I found the Phantom of the opera sailing in his gondola on the lake and brought him back here with me.

Mary Frances peers over my shoulder at Erik and smiles uncertainly, not knowing exactly what to think.

**Me **_***mumbles to her in a low tone***_**:** He thinks I'm Christine… _***turns around to face Erik***_ Erik, please come over here and properly introduce yourself to Mary Frances!

He obediently jumps up and kneels down next to the sofa.

**Erik **_***takes her hand in his and gently kisses it***_**:** Pleased to meet you, Mademoiselle; I am Erik, or more commonly known as the Phantom of the opera.

Mary Frances can only gape in awe.

**Me **_***annoyed that I did not receive such an introduction***_**:** Alright, lose the charming act before she passes out again!

**Erik **_***looks up anxiously***_**:** …is something burning?

**Mary Frances **_***bolts upright again***_**:** Oh no, the pancakes! _***takes off into the kitchen***_

**Erik **_***downright confused***_**:** …pancakes?

**Me:** More commonly known as 'breakfast'.

He follows me into the huge kitchen. He is speechless at its size. Mary Frances is frantically making more pancakes, since her last batch was burned to a black crisp.

**Me **_***pulls out a chair at the island bar***_**:** Here, Erik, make yourself at home. _***offers chair to him***_

He climbs up into it and sits excitedly while I pour him a glass of orange juice. I hand him the glass.

**Erik **_***takes a sip and gags in disgust***_**:** What is this crap?

**Me:** It's orange juice! What'd you expect, some extremely discolored wine?

Erik continues to complain about the 'vile, revolting beverage' while I leave and get dressed for the day. I decide to wear an azure lace top and a long flowing, black skirt. When I come back, I find Mary Frances dividing the new pancakes among three plates. I assist her by spreading the butter across the cakes and pouring the syrup.

Erik has finally shut up about the orange juice and is watching us with a look of extreme curiosity displayed on his face.

**Me **_***sets a plate and silverware in front of him***_**:** Here, try this, Erik. They're called pancakes.

He cuts a little piece and tastes it cautiously. His eyes almost immediately widen in bewilderment and he continues eating enthusiastically.

**Mary Frances **_***quite humored***_**:** Who would have the thought the Phantom of the opera loved pancakes so much?

* * *

**Erik:** And thus, my love of pancakes was born!

**Me:** Yes, yes, we know…

**Erik:** So when does my REAL Christine and her stupid fop, Raoul, come into the story?

**Me **_***screams***_**:** ERIK! The readers and Phangirls weren't supposed to know that they were coming, too!

**Erik:** Ohhhhh…well, my bad!

**Me **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Thank you for nothing, you useless, pancake-loving Phantom!

So, yes, Christine and Raoul are both going to arrive in the next chapter, so be sure to stay tuned! Plenty of crazy, Phantomness coming your way!

I hope you all enjoyed and please leave a review! Thanks for reading!


	2. Christine & Raoul's Arrival

**Me: Aaaand…we're back!**

**Erik: FINALLY! **_***pauses***_** Back from where?**

**Me: Back from…oh, never mind! In this chapter, Christine and Raoul come into the story and I attempt to teach Erik how to use the television…which results in a fight for the remote…that I effortlessly win!**

**Erik: Nuh uh, you cheated!**

**Me: I did not! You're just a sore loser!**

**Erik: I am NOT!**

**Me: Whatever, I still won! **_***sticks tongue out at him***_** Anyway, hope you guys enjoy the chapter! I would advise you to prepare yourselves for this series of hysterical events!**

* * *

_Christine and Raoul's Arrival_

After a very interesting breakfast, Mary Frances and I wash the dishes while Erik explores the interior of the house…which isn't the best idea, now that I think about it…

**Me **_***hardly containing my excitement any longer***_**:** So can we keep him?

**Mary Frances:** Do I look stupid? Of course we're keeping him!

**Me:** YAY! _***hugs her***_

**Mary Frances:** But where do you suggest he sleep?

**Me:** He can stay in the boy's guestroom! Maybe sometime soon, we can all go to Bed Bath & Beyond and help him pick out some supplies to decorate the room with!

**Mary Frances:** Sounds like an awesome idea!

**Me **_***suddenly wary***_**:** Where is he anyway? Did you see which way he went? I hope he isn't getting into trouble somewhere…

**Erik:** _***distant yelp of shock***_

**Mary Frances:** …you had to open your mouth?

Erik enters the kitchen moments later, his head and shoulders soaked to the bone.

**Erik **_***looking quite miserable***_**:** I'm all wet…

**Me:** What did you do?

**Erik:** I walked into this little glass room, turned a handle, and the next thing I know, it's pouring rain down on my head!

By the end of his explanation, both Mary Frances and I are about to die laughing. He must have gotten in the shower and figured out how to turn the water on…while standing underneath the showerhead!

**Erik **_***now growing upset***_**:** It's _NOT_ FUNNY!

We stop laughing immediately, not wanting to find out what happens when he gets angry.

**Mary Frances:** You're right, we're sorry, Erik! _***both of us hug him tightly***_

**Me:** Come here, I'll help you dry off. _***I grab two clean towels and dab his shoulders while he attempts to dry his hair***_

**Erik:** Christine, you two have some strange possessions…

**Mary Frances:** Just wait until we take you for a ride in the car… Speaking of which, I'm going to go and pick up our dresses from the dry cleaners for the recital next week.

**Me:** Alright, I'll stay here with Erik. It might not be the best idea to take him out so soon…

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, good point… _***grabs car keys***_ I'll be back in a bit!

After she leaves in the Mustang, Erik follows me into the den.

**Me:** Alright, Erik, while we wait for Mary Frances to get back, I'm going to show you the magic of a television!

We sit down on the big, black leather sofa and I grab the remote. I turn the TV on and Erik's eyes widen in amazement as E! News comes up on the screen.

**Erik **_***jumps up excitedly***_**:** Look, Christine! People!

**Me:** Yeah, you can change the show, too. Here, you try! _***hands him remote***_

Erik changes the channel to ESPN and is so proud of himself when a football game comes up. His face suddenly falls upon noticing the physical idea of the game.

**Erik **_***rather appalled***_**:** What on Earth are they doing?

**Me:** They're tackling each other for that little ball…

**Erik:** Well, what's the point of that?

**Me:** Trust me, I'm about as clueless as you are…

* * *

Meanwhile, Mary Frances is driving back from the dry cleaners with both dresses lying in the passenger seat.

**Mary Frances:** Jeeze, who would have imagined that cleaning job would total up to $35?

All the while, Christine and Raoul are chilling out on the neighborhood playground. Christine is sitting stationary on the swings, while Raoul is climbing around on the monkey bars. Christine is wearing a plain, white dress, while Raoul is wearing his white shirt and brown pants. His leather jacket is hanging on the playground.

**Christine **_***rather upset***_**:** I don't get it… All we want is a ride in one of those fantastic shiny rolling things! And yet, when we ask, all the drivers do is look at us like we're complete maniacs or something and then take off like they don't want to catch our 'maninacness'!

**Raoul:** Is that even a word?

**Christine:** No, probably not… Raouly-Bear, you should get off of that thing before you break your neck or something!

**Raoul:** And what makes you think I'm going to break my—_***falls flat on his face***_ OWIE! _***starts crying pitifully***_

**Christine:** Told you so!

_**Raoul *suddenly squeals in horror*:**_ I got sand in my hair!

Mary Frances starts passing the playground and notices the two figures. Her eyes instantly widen in shock.

**Mary Frances:** Oh dear God, you've _got_ to be kidding me… _***pulls up by the playground***_

**Christine:** Look, Raouly! Another shiny thingy stopped over there! And this one doesn't have a roof!

Mary Frances gets out of the car and approaches the pair.

**Raoul **_***becoming excited***_**:** Oh hey, I think she's actually going to offer us a ride!

**Christine **_***hits him across the head***_**:** Shut up, you're gonna blow it!

**Mary Frances **_***rather wary***_**:** Christine? Raoul?

**Christine:** Aha! She even knows our names! Hi, how do you do, little Madame?

**Raoul:** Hiiiiii!

**Mary Frances:** Um, hi, there. What are you two doing out here?

**Christine **_***shrug***_**:** Nothing much, just sitting around… We've wanted to take a ride in one of those shiny things, but no one is willing to do so…yet… _***stares at Mary Frances hopefully***_

**Mary Frances **_***light bulb goes off over her head***_**:** Oh, well, if you guys want a ride, I'd be glad to give you one.

**Christine:** Really? Thanks! Come on, Raouly, let's go!

**Raoul **_***grabs jacket and takes off toward the car excitedly***_**:** YAY! I told you she'd give us a ride!

**Mary Frances:** _Erik and Lauren are in for a shocker…_

* * *

After 15 minutes of constantly changing the channel, Erik finally lands on Animal Planet and Meerkat Manor is displayed on the screen.

**Erik **_***on the verge of insanity***_**:** AWWWWWW! Christine, look, they're so cute! What are they?

**Me **_***also on the verge of insanity***_**:** I know, they're called meerkats!

**Erik:** Can I get one?

**Me:** Ummm, don't count on it… Now can I please have the remote back? I'm missing the morning news!

**Erik:** NO! I want to watch my meerkats!

**Me **_***raises voice***_**:** Erik, do _not_ make me get up off this couch!

**Erik:** I'm not making you do anything!

**Me **_***boiling point***_**:** Unless you want to die a slow painful death, provided by myself, hand over the freakin' remote!

**Erik:** Oh, yeah? Make me!

**Me:** You asked for it! _***hops up and jumps onto his back, reaching desperately for remote***_

**Erik **_***struggles***_**:** AGHH! GET OFF!

**Me:** Not until you give me the dang remote! _***continues reaching***_

**Erik:** Never! _***throws me off***_

I get right back up and chase him around the den. After finally cornering him, I pin him to the floor and snatch the remote from his hand.

**Me **_***stands up triumphantly***_**:** AHA! I have conquered the Phantom of the opera! In your face! _***changes channel to the news***_

**Erik **_***stands***_**:** OH, IT'S ON! *_**takes out punjab lasso***_

**Me:** _***screams in absolute terror as he chases me out of the den***_

I scramble down the hall with Erik following close behind, still brandishing his deadly weapon of choice. The front door then opens and Mary Frances enters with two new guests just as I dart past them.

**Me:** MARY FRANCES! HELP! HE'S PSYCHOTIC!

Erik turns the sharp corner and continues down the hall, but suddenly rounds on the _real_ Christine who just walked through the door! He mistakes her for me and tosses his lasso over her neck and attempts to strangle her!

**Christine **_***screams in alarm***_**:** AAAGGHHHHH!

**Mary Frances:** ERIK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP!

**Raoul **_***squeals***_**:** HE'S HERE! THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!

**Erik:** YOU'LL RECEIVE NO MERCY FROM ME! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR STEALING THE REMOTE!

**Christine:** WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I DON'T HAVE YOUR STUPID REMOTE!

**Erik **_***stops upon noticing her empty hands***_**:** Oh… Begging your pardon, my dear… Wait, WHERE'D YOU PUT THE REMOTE THEN?

**Me **_***cautiously comes back in***_**:** Erik, it's right here! _***holds it up***_

Erik looks over at me and then back to the real Christine with wide eyes.

**Erik **_***very frightened***_**:** Oh crap, why are there two Christine's?

**Me **_***steps forward***_**:** Look, genius, it's because I'm not really Christine! I only look and sing like her. My real name is Lauren… Happy now?

**Erik:** Ohhhhh… Well…that makes sense! _***approaches real Christine***_ Welcome, my dear, to the insane asylum I now call home!

**Christine:** Yeah, I'll agree with you on that one…

**Me & Mary Frances:** _***facepalm***_

**Erik **_***notices Raoul***_**:** Oh dear God, who dragged the fop in?

**Raoul:**_***looks around dazedly for the supposed 'fop'***_

* * *

A few minutes later, we have them all sit in a row on the couch in the den while Mary Frances and I stand in front of them.

**Me:** Alright, guys, listen up: we, Mary Frances and I, are the head of this household and we have both agreed to allow you to live here with us in our glorious home.

**Mary Frances:** The only problem we have run into so far is where you are going to sleep… There are four bedrooms and five of us here.

**Me:** There are two bedrooms upstairs, a boy's guestroom and a girl's guestroom. So either Raoul and Erik share a room—

**Erik **_***in revolt***_**:** I absolutely _refuse_ to share any sort of room with _him_!

**Raoul:** Well, what if Christine and I share a bedroom together?

**Christine **_***confused at his suggestion***_**:** …what are you getting at?

**Erik **_***eyes widen in alarm, replies threateningly***_**:** Do you _want_ to die young?

**Raoul **_***immediately cowers***_**:** …no, not really…

**Erik **_***venomously***_**:** Didn't think so. So just shut up and stay out of this decision!

Christine then gets up and sits back down in between Erik and Raoul to avoid any more sudden arguments or physical manhandling.

**Christine:** Better?

**Both:** Much…

**Me:** Erik, either you share a room with Raoul, or Raoul stays with Christine in their own room.

**Erik **_***crosses arms impatiently***_**:** This is _so_ unfair!

**Mary Frances:** Erik, I really would have thought that you would have grasped the idea that life isn't fair by now!

**Me **_***already losing it***_**:** You try my patience, Erik: make your choice!

**Erik **_***continues stalling***_**:** Alright, I _know_ you did not just quote my own line!

I give him a death glare that even makes Mary Frances step away in trepidation.

**Erik:** Okay, fine! _***grumbles***_ I'll share a room with the fop…

**Me:** Finally! Thank you!

We lead them up the stairs. The first door we reach is the boys' guestroom.

**Mary Frances:** Alright, here's your room, Erik and Raoul.

She opens the door and lets them to go inside to check it out.

**Me:** Christine, you're room is down the hall. Follow us.

Mary Frances and I walk her down the hall and into the second guestroom.

**Christine **_***quite excited***_**:** Wow, this is great! And I have _two_ closets!

**Me:** No, dear; one of them is the bathroom. _***I turn the handle of the faucet to demonstrate its use***_

**Christine:** Ohhh, so it's like a closet…with water!

**Me & Mary Frances:** _***facepalm***_

We then go downstairs into the linen closet to fetch some towels for Christine's bathroom.

**Me **_***while gathering towels***_**:** I don't think Erik and Raoul have any towels in their bathroom either, so we might as well bring some for them, as well.

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, good thinking.

We hurry back up the stairs, enter Erik and Raoul's room, and drop the towels in shock upon meeting the scene that we walk in on.

Erik has his punjab lasso around Raoul's neck and is attempting to strangle him by tangling the lasso into the ceiling fan's blades!

**Raoul **_***screams upon seeing us enter***_**:** HELP ME!

**Me:** OH MY GOD, ERIK! STOP! _***runs forward and drags him away from Raoul***_

**Erik:** NO! CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!

**Mary Frances **_***shrieks as she tries to untie Raoul***_**:** CHRISTINE, HELP!

**Raoul **_***cringes***_**:** Owww! You screamed in my delicate ears!

**Mary Frances:** Do you _want_ to die young?

**Raoul:** No, not really…

Christine runs in and nearly falls on her face over the mess of towels on the floor.

**Christine:** RAOULY-BEAR! NOT AGAIN! _***quickly unties him***_

**Raoul **_***throws his arms around Christine***_**:** My savior! Oh, thank you, Christine!

**Me **_***releases Erik***_**:** OKAY, NOW WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, Erik! Care to explain why you nearly killed your roommate for the second time today?

**Erik:** He purposefully stepped onto my side of the room! It was only my natural reaction!

We all look down at the floor to realize Erik had duct taped a huge section of the room off for himself.

**Me:** Alright, THAT'S IT! Erik, either you're sleeping on the couch in the den, or you share a room with me or Mary Frances until we can get the attic cleared and cleaned out for you!

**Mary Frances **_***jumps up excitedly***_**:** PICK ME, ERIK! Uhm, I mean—I have an idea! Lauren and I could have nightly shifts; one night he'll stay in my room and then the next he'll stay in Lauren's, just until we can transform the attic into a suitable bedroom! Besides, we wouldn't want our beloved Erik to freeze to death in his sleep!

**Erik:** I think I'll pass…

**Me **_***threateningly***_**:** Do you want to get frostbite while your sleep?

**Erik **_***immediately brightens up***_**:** I changed my mind! Sounds like a great idea!

* * *

**Me **_***smiles cheekily***_**:** See? I always win the arguments!

**Erik **_***crosses arms and turns away***_**:** Whatever!

**Me:** What's your problem?

**Erik:** I have to share a room with two different girls every other night until you can clear out your stupid attic! God only knows how long that'll take!

**Me **_***shrugs***_**:** Well, hey, at least you won't be sharing a room with the fop! _And_ you'll eliminate any chances of getting frostbite because we'll be sharing body heat!

**Erik **_***lightens up***_**:** …good point!

I don't know if you noticed or not, but there was a slight foreshadowing about the idea of the next chapter of our Phantom Hysterics! Here's a hint: Bed Bath & Beyond!

I hope you all enjoyed and please, don't be lazy, leave a review and tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!


	3. Late Afternoon & Night Madness

**Me:** Okay, peoples, I lied… This chapter is based upon some hysterical, random stuff we came up with at 4 AM in the morning!

**Erik **_***imitates Key of Awesome***_**:** Rrhhandom stuff! Rrhhandom stuff!

**Me:** Oh shut up! _***mutters***_ I _told_ Mary Frances it was a bad idea to introduce you to Youtube…

**Erik:** So you were saying about the chapter?

**Me:** Oh, right: This chapter just ends our crazy first day with our new "family members". The next one will consist of us and our Bed Bath & Beyond adventure!

**Erik:** God only knows how insane that will be…

**Me:** Yeah, seriously!

* * *

_Late Afternoon & Night Madness_

Later that same day, everyone's just chilling out. Erik is gleefully watching his Meerkats on TV, Christine is skimming over a magazine in the armchair, and Raoul is being chased around the house by Ginger and Lil' Man. Mary Frances and I, along with my cat, Spooky, are sitting in the kitchen, leaning on the counter together, looking on amusedly as he runs in a continuous circle with the puppies yipping at his heels.

**Me **_***absentmindedly petting Spooky while watching***_**:** This is strangely entertaining…

**Mary Frances:** I know, it just never gets old!

**Me:** So what should we do for dinner? It's already past 6.

**Mary Frances:** I think I'll just order pizza.

**Me:** Yeah, sounds good.

**Mary Frances **_***calls to Erik, Christine, and Raoul***_**:** Alright, we're ordering pizza for dinner! What do you guys want?

**All Three:** What the heck is 'pizza'?

**Me:** _***facepalm***_

**Mary Frances:** Well, that was helpful… _***picks up phone and walks off to order***_

**Raoul **_***dashes down hall with dogs***_**:** Christine! Help me! I think they're carnivorous!

**Christine **_***waves hand dismissively***_**:** Nah, I'm good.

**Raoul **_***runs back in***_**:** Oh, come ON!

**Erik:** Shut up, fop, I'm trying to watch here! And you could use the exercise!

**Raoul:** Says the guy who's sitting on his butt in front of a magic screen! _***trips and gets tackled by the puppies***_ AAGHH! THEY'RE VICIOUS!

**Erik:** HA! Thank you, Karma! _***turns back to Meerkats***_

**Me:**_***rolls eyes and goes to help Raoul. I effortlessly scoop the puppies up and stick them in the office.***_

**Raoul:** Stupid mongrels… _***picks self up and walks off***_

**Mary Frances **_***comes back in with phone in hand***_**:** Alright, the pizzas will be here in around half an hour.

**Me:** Awesome, what'd you get?

**Mary Frances:** 1 large cheese and 1 large pepperoni.

Half an hour later…

Mary Frances is setting the table and I'm gathering sodas out of the refrigerator when the doorbell rings. Christine and Raoul both look around for the source of the noise curiously.

**Erik **_***jumps up excitedly***_**:** I'LL GET IT! _***sprints through the kitchen to the front parlor.***_

**Me:** No, Erik, wait! Let me get it!

**Erik:**_** *opens the door to reveal the pizza delivery dude standing there with two boxes of pizza.***_

**Erik:** What do you want, punk?

**Pizza Dude:** Um…I have your order of 1 large cheese pizza and 1 large pepperoni pizza.

**Erik:** Aww, for me? You shouldn't have! _***snatches pizzas from him and slams the door in his face***_

**Me:** _***runs in, sees Erik with pizza***_ ERIK! You didn't even pay for it, you idiot! _***opens door again***_ Sorry about that! My uncle…he's, uhm, special… _***pays for pizzas***_

**Pizza Dude:** Yeah, don't worry about it, I'm used to it. _***wink***_

**Me **_***scoffs***_**:** Get a life, creep! _***slams door in his face***_

I enter the kitchen to find Mary Frances setting the pizza boxes on the dining table and Erik, Christine, and Raoul are all gathered around it eagerly.

**Mary Frances:** Behold… _***opens box***_ PIZZA! _***all eyes widen in amazement***_

_***Cue 'Hallelujah' music!***_

**Christine:** Are you sure this thing is edible? _***music screeches to a halt***_

**Me **_***sets sodas out***_**:** Of course it is!

**Mary Frances:** _***pulls a slice out of each box and puts them on each plate***_

**Raoul:** Ew, what are these red circles?

**Me:** It's called pepperoni. If you don't like it, just pick them off.

**Raoul:**_***shrugs and does so***_

**Erik:**_***picks up a slice and sniffs it cautiously, then takes a bite. His eyes grow as big as the pepperonis and he continues devouring the slice.***_ This stuff is AMAZING!

**Christine**_** *to Mary Frances***_**:** Um, can I have a fork and knife?

**Mary Frances:** Honey, you don't need them, just use your hands!

**Christine:** What? Don't be ridiculous! That's unsanitary!

**Me:**_***hands her fork and knife***_

**Christine **_***pursues in cutting the pizza up and eating it with a fork***_**:** Wow, this stuff is _great_!

**Raoul **_***munching away***_**:** So cheesy and greasy!

We all continue eating our pizza until Erik notices his can of soda.

**Erik **_***examines can***_**:** What is this?

**Me:** It's coke, try it.

He takes a small sip.

**Mary Frances:** …so?

**Me:** Do you like it?

**Erik:** …

**Christine:** Hello? Erik?

**Erik:** … _***big smile crosses his face***_

**Me:** Oh no…

**Erik:** _***chugs whole can and then throws it across the room into the kitchen and starts talking so fast it's barely understandable***_ WOW what a sensational rush that stuff is really fantastic, really great, really phenomenal what do you call it again coke or something oh well I don't really care what it's called it's amazing and I would love it if I could have just a little bit more oh my God look a pretty kitty so as I was saying I would love some more of this stuff so I'll just take some of yours if you don't mind I'm sure you don't but just in case I'll only drink a little bit but maybe a little more than a little bit because WOW this stuff is so good even better than the pizza heck it's even better than both Christines' singing no wait one of them is named Lauren I think but anyway it's just so grand and amazing and… _***continues chattering away nonstop***_

**Christine & Raoul:**_***both staring at him uncertainly with wide eyes***_

**Me **_***to Mary Frances***_**:** Uhhhh, you can have the first night with him…

**Mary Frances **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Gee, thanks, you're so considerate… Yeah, this should be fun.

**Me:** Note to self: no caffeine for Phantoms…

**Erik:** WHOOOOOOO! _***runs down into the den and starts jumping around and doing flips and tricks on the sofa***_

* * *

A few hours later, the entire house is silent because everyone is sound asleep in their own bedrooms…or are they?

**Mary Frances **_***vigorously shaking me***_**:** Lauren! Lauren, wake up! Erik's missing!

**Me **_***completely delirious, suddenly sits up in shock***_**:** GET OFF MY LAWN YOU STUPID MONKEYS!

Spooky, who is curled up next to me, jumps up in alarm, but settles back down a second later.

**Mary Frances:** No! I said—wait… _***processes my exclamation* **_WHAT?

She's wearing a mismatched T-shirt and a pair of Soffes and her hair is tousled from sleep. My curls are also quite tangled, but I'm dressed in my white, floor length nightgown again. The clock on my nightstand reads 2:30 AM.

**Me **_***blinking confusedly***_**:** Uh…what?

**Mary Frances:** What?

**Me:** What what?

**Mary Frances:** Uh, I asked you first!

**Me:** Did you say something?

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, I said "what"!

**Me:** No, before that!

**Mary Frances **_***pause***_**:** I said "what"!

**Me:** NO! BEFORE THAT!

**Mary Frances:** Oh, I said Erik is—

Abruptly, a long, shrill, feminine scream erupts from upstairs.

**Mary Frances:** Never mind…

I tug my silk bathrobe on and quickly light my little handheld candle lamp, pleased to finally have an opportunity to use it. We both bolt from my bedroom, down the hall, through the kitchen, and up the stairs.

**Me & Mary Frances **_***as we climb the stairs***_**:** CHRISTINE!

We are about to turn the corner to run to Christine's room, but notice that Raoul's bedroom door is wide open. Another scream comes from within.

**Me **_***barges in with Mary Frances and flips light on***_**:** CHRISTINE! CHRIS—RAOUL?

Once again, Erik is attempting to strangle Raoul, only this time Erik had cocooned Raoul in the sheets of the bed and hung him upside down from the ceiling to ensure that he wouldn't have any chance of escape.

**Raoul **_***sees us***_**:** SAVE ME!

**Erik:** …crap, busted!_** *now attempts to make a run for it, but I grab hold of him***_

**Mary Frances:** OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, ERIK! _***rushes over to Raoul and unties him***_

**Raoul:** Oh thank you, thank y—_***falls directly on his head***_—…ow…

**Me:** What the heck! We thought that was Christine screaming!

**Raoul **_***smiles sheepishly from the floor***_**:** Heheh…

**Christine **_***walks in sleepily***_**:** Seriously, can you guys keep it down? I need to get my beauty sleep and you're not helping matters by yelling at each other at this hour of the night!

**Mary Frances:** Well, sorry for disturbing you, but we just saved your husband's life for the second time in less than 24 hours!

**Christine:** Oh thanks! I owe you one! _***walks away***_

Ginger and Lil' Man then run in and drag Erik's punjab lasso away with them.

**Erik:** Hey, that's mine, you little imps!

**Me **_***rounds on Erik***_**:** Alright, mister, I can't _wait_ to hear this one! What's your excuse this time?

**Erik:** …I got bored…

**Mary Frances:** _***groans exasperatingly before dragging Erik downstairs by the collar of his shirt and back to her room***_

**Me:**_***follows them back to my own room, leaving Raoul still tied up on the floor***_

**Raoul:** Ummmm, guys? A little help here! Guys! Jerks!

* * *

**Me:** And that concludes this chapter! I promise we'll head up to Bed Bath & Beyond in the next one!

**Erik:** …have you really been hit on by pizza delivery dudes?

**Me:** Yeah, once or twice… Creepers!

**Erik:**_***slowly reaches for my nearby Sprite***_

**Me:** DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! No caffeine for Phantoms!

**Erik **_***pouts***_**:** You're no fun!

**Me:** Neither are you, Mr. I'm-Going-To-Go-And-Strangle-My-Stupid-Fop-Of-A-Housemate-At-2:30-In-The-Morning-Because-I'm-Bored!

**Erik **_***smiles sheepishly***_**:** …heheh…

Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing! We appreciate your thoughts and comments so much! Stay tuned for more!


	4. Bed Bath & Beyond Hysterical

**Me:** Alright, guys, here it is, just like I promised: Our very first adventure, starring Bed Bath & Beyond!

**Erik:** With special guest, Lowes!

**Me:** Enjoy, my lovelies! Plenty of craziness to be read! I apologize for how freakin' long it is, but it'll definitely be worth it!

* * *

_Bed Bath & Beyond Hysterical_

Early the next morning, I was the first one to wake up, so I put my robe on over my nightgown and I went into the kitchen to start on breakfast, since it was my turn to make it that morning. The silence was strangely odd to me (since I had quickly grown accustomed to constant noises just the previous day) as I gathered and mixed the ingredients for homemade waffles.

I was in the middle of pouring the mix into the waffle iron when Mary Frances and Erik both entered the kitchen and take their seats at the island bar.

**Me:** Good morning, you two!

**Mary Frances:** Good morning!

**Erik:** Yes, good morning, indeed. _***turns to Mary Frances***_ You nailed me in the shin last night, you little imp!

**Mary Frances:** Maybe you should refrain from becoming bored at 2:30 in the morning and attempting to punjab the fop, therefore waking up everyone in the house and quite possibly the whole neighborhood!

**Erik:** Yeah, whatever! I have a freakin' huge bruise there now, so thanks!

**Mary Frances **_***smiles innocently***_**:** No problem!

**Erik **_***retorts with death glare***_**:** Unfortunately, those stupid mongrels stole my lasso last night, so consider yourself lucky to still be alive…

**Me **_***rolls eyes***_**:** This is going to be a long day… Guys, it's not even 10 o' clock in the morning yet and you two are already fighting like a cat and dog!

**Erik & Mary Frances:** …s/he started it!

**Me **_***distributing waffles onto plates***_**:** I really don't care who started it, I just want everyone to please get along today because we're going up to Bed Bath & Beyond _and_ Lowes to shop for décor and paint for all of the newly occupied and to-be-occupied bedrooms!

**Mary Frances **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Yes, _mother_…

We stick our tongues out at each other teasingly.

**Christine & Raoul **_***comes down stairs and enters kitchen***_**:** Wow, what's that smell?

**Me:** Waffles!

**Erik (to Raoul):** How in the world did you escape from my cocoon of sheets?

**Raoul:** I didn't…Christine found me this morning and released me!

**Erik:** Figures…

**Me:** Christine, Raoul, would you like to try some orange juice?

**Erik:** DON'T DO IT! Trust me, it's such a disgusting, vile, nauseating beverage, it's not worth putting your taste buds through such torture!

**Christine & Raoul **_***taste the OJ while Erik rants on***_**:** Wow, this stuff is great!

**Erik:**_***shuts up and hangs head***_

**Mary Frances:** Aw, don't worry, Erik, you're not alone, I hate orange juice, too!

**Erik:** Finally! Someone agrees with me!

I hand everyone a plate of waffles.

**Erik **_***suddenly confused***_**:** Wait, what happened to 'pancakes for breakfast'?

**Me:** That was yesterday's breakfast, today's is waffles! Got a problem with that?

**Erik:** Yes, I do!

**Christine & Raoul **_***chowing down on waffles***_**:** Dude, how can you have a problem with this stuff?

**Mary Frances:** Seriously, Erik, they're almost the exact same thing as pancakes! Except they're a little crispier and they have a bunch of indented squares on the surface…

**Erik:** Precisely! Therefore, they are inedible!

**Me **_***exasperatingly***_**:** You haven't even tried it yet, you stubborn dolt!

**Erik:** I don't care, I refuse to eat these pancake-impersonators!

**Me:** Fine, don't eat them! But don't come complaining to me when you're dying of starvation later on!

After the rest of us finish our waffles, we encourage everyone to shower and get themselves ready to head out.

Once I take my shower, I decide to wear my purple and black steampunk dress along with my Edgar Allan Poe inspired Raven's eye earring. I pull my curls up into a tight bun and secure it with an antique comb.

Mary Frances wears her usual jeans and a comfortable midnight blue tunic. Her hair is French braided.

Christine, Raoul, and Erik are all wearing their same clothes, since we don't have anything else for them to wear yet.

Before we leave, I take Erik upstairs and lead him into a closet.

**Erik:** Okay, why are we going into a closet? I'm pretty sure Narnia's not in here, but that would be freakin' awesome if it was!

**Me:** No, the door leading to the attic is inside the closet, you dork… And how do you even know what Narnia is?

**Erik:** …I got bored again…

I merely sigh and roll my eyes as I open the door to the attic and show Erik its design. It is very spacey with a ton of boxes stacked all over the place. There are two domed windows on either side of the room and two more windows implanted in the tall, slanted ceiling above.

**Erik:** Very nice…yes, this will do nicely!

**Me:** Great! Let's get going!

We then meet everyone else back in the kitchen when we're ready to hit the road.

**Me **_***grabs car keys and purse***_**:** Alright, come on, let's go!

We go into the garage where our red Mustang and blue minivan reside.

**Erik **_***eyes Mustang***_**:** Oooohhhhh shiny!

**Me:**_***presses button on remote and garage door begins opening***_

**Raoul **_***screams like a girl and hides behind Christine***_**:** HOLY CRAP, IT'S GOING TO EAT ME!

**Christine:** Raoul, shut up, it's not going to eat you!

**Raoul **_***looks over Christine's shoulder warily***_**:** Oh… _***straightens up and pretends nothing happened***_

**Me **_***opens car doors for them***_**:** Alright, come on, get in the van! So much shopping to do, so little time!

**Erik:** But…why can't we take the awesome one without a roof?

**Mary Frances:** First, we wouldn't all fit! Second, we certainly wouldn't be able to fit all the stuff we buy today in the trunk!

**Erik **_***hangs head disappointingly***_**:** Dang it… _***climbs into the van***_

I get in the driver's seat, Mary Frances claims shotgun, Erik and Christine sit in the second row, and Raoul sits in the middle of the backseat. When I start the car and begin backing out of the garage, Erik grips the base of his seat and holds onto it for dear life.

**Erik **_***very panicky***_**:** Is this thing safe?

**Me:** Not necessarily…

**Erik:**_***whimpers as we pull out of the driveway***_

**Christine **_***takes his hand comfortingly***_**:** Erik, calm down, everything's going to be just fine.

**Raoul:** As long as we don't collide into another moving vehicle!

**Everybody:** SHUT UP, RAOUL!

Before we pull out of the neighborhood, I turn the radio on and start looking for a pleasurable station. I accidently land on a Pop station and Justin Beaver-oh I mean Bieber-starts playing!

**Mary Frances:** AAGHHHH! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!

**Christine **_***quite appalled***_**:** What is this _crap_?

**Erik **_***covers his ears***_**:** MY EARS! THEY BLEED!

**Raoul:** …I kinda like this music… _***dances in his seat to the beat***_

**Mary Frances:** _***hastily changes the channel to our usual Broadway station***_

**Raoul **_***stops dancing***_**:** Awww, I liked that song…

**Me:** Only you, Raoul, only you…

We continue driving for about 20 minutes…

**Raoul **_***for the thirty-seventh time and counting***_**:** …are we there yet?

**Me:** Okay, does it _look_ like we've arrived at our destination?

**Raoul:** …no, not really.

**Me:** My point exactly!

Another 10 minutes…

**Raoul **_***for the forty-ninth time and counting***_**:** …are we there yet?

**Me:** Yes!

**Raoul **_***gets excited***_**:** Really?

**Everybody:** NO!

**Raoul:**_***cowers and shuts up for two minutes***_

And another 10 minutes…

**Erik **_***sounding wary***_**:** Um…Lauren?

**Me:** Yes?

**Erik:** …I'm hungry…

**Me **_***sighs exasperatingly***_**:** Oh for God's sake… _***pulls into Chick-Fil-A drive thru***_ Alright, what do you guys want?

**Mary Frances:** Don't ask or we'll be here all day, just get 5 chicken sandwich combos.

**Me:** Fine. _***rolls down window to order***_ Hi, can I get 5 chicken sandwich combos?

**Intercom **_***hip black lady's voice***_**:** A'right, honeychild, an' what would you like ta drink fo' dem 5 combos?

**Erik & Christine & Raoul **_***scream in horror***_**:** HOLY CRAP, IT'S ALIVE!

**Mary Frances:** Guys, shut up!

**Me:** Seriously, I'm trying to order! _***turns back to intercom***_ Um, 1 Sprite, 1 Mountain Dew, 3 cokes…no, wait, 2 cokes and 1 water…for safety purposes…

**Erik:** WHAT THE HECK, SHE'S SPEAKING WITH IT!

**Christine:** SHE'S CRAZY!

**Raoul:** I WANNA GO HOME!

**Mary Frances:** CALM DOWN!

**Intercom:** …everythang okay ouwt dere?

**Christine:** IT'S TALKING TO US NOW! _***breaks down in tears***_

**Me (to Intercom):** Yes, yes, we're fine!

**Raoul:**_***starts screaming uncontrollably at the sight of some random dude dressed up as the Chick-Fil-A cow***_

**Erik:** ALL I WANTED WAS SOME DANG FOOD! NOW EVERYBODY'S GOING INSANE!

**Mary Frances:** WHY ARE WE SCREAMING?

**Intercom:** Oh my God, help! I dink someone's bein' murdalized ouwt dere!

**Me (to Intercom):** …um, can I get waffle fries with that?

**Erik:** I AM NOT EATING ANYTHING HAVING RELATIONS WITH WAFFLES, DANGIT! _***wraps his arms around my neck and attempts to choke me***_

**Me:**_***screams and tries to fight Erik's grip***_

**Christine:**_***still crying her eyes out***_

**Raoul:**_***still screaming his head off***_

**Mary Frances:** _***screaming her head off at Erik and hitting the crap out of him***_ ERIK, KNOCK IT OFF!

**Intercom:** A'right, everybody jus' calm down, I called da 911 peoples an' everythang will be fine, so jus' stay put, ya hear? Everythang's goin' ta be okay!

**Me:**OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! _***speeds down drive thru to first window, throws money at cashier, and then pulls up at second window.***_

**Employee **_***hands me our huge order***_**: **Thank you for choosing Chick-Fil-A, have a nice day!

We park and distribute the food and drinks.

**Me (to Mary Frances):** NEVER again…need I say more?

**Mary Frances:** Nope.

**Raoul **_***examining his sandwich***_**:** Ew, what are these round green things?

**Everybody:** Just pick them off!

**Erik:**_***starts rolling his window down***_

**Me:** What are you—_***Erik quickly dumps his waffle fries outside and rolls the window back up***_—HEY! I PAID MONEY FOR THOSE FRIES, YOU JERK!

**Erik:**_***smiles innocently, all the while sneakily reaching for Christine's coke***_

**Mary Frances **_***sees him in the mirror***_**:** AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!

**Erik:**_***jumps and goes back to eating sandwich***_

**Christine:**_***glares and kicks him in the shin***_

**Erik:** OW! Jeeze, what is it with you girls and nailing me in the shins?

We get back on the road after we finish lunch.

**Raoul **_***for the bloody sixty-sixth time and counting***_**:** …are we there yet?

**Me **_***pulls into Lowes***_**:** Yes!

**Everybody:** FINALLY!

We get out of the van and head into Lowes, receiving many odd stares. All the while, the trio stares around in amazement as we lead them to the paints.

**Erik:** So many colors!

**Mary Frances:** Go ahead and pick a few out.

**Christine:** What do you think of this one? _***holds up a pretty purple tab***_

**Me:** That's nice. I think it would look good against this blue.

**Erik:** Hey, fop, this would be the perfect color for you! _***shows him a hot pink tab***_

**Raoul:** Ooooh, I actually like it!

**Mary Frances:** FORGET IT!_** *snatches tab and puts it back* **_How about this one? _***picks out a nice green***_

**Raoul:** That's nice, too.

**Erik:** I like these ones! _***shows me red and goldish-brown tabs***_

**Me:** Oh those are fantastic! They're very…you.

**Erik:** Thank you!

We check out after gathering other painting supplies. Christine got light blue and purple, Raoul decided upon green and white, and Erik got red and goldish-brown.

**Christine **_***while we load the car***_**:** Well, that was fast!

**Raoul:** Yep, let's go home!

**Me:** Oh no, we still have _plenty_ to shop for! Get in the car!

We drive for 5 minutes until we reach BB&B. We enter and, of course, everyone begins staring at us like a group of freaks…not that we looked like one or anything…

**Trio:** Whoa…

**Me:** Well, come on, grab a cart and let's get shopping!

They all get their own individual carts and rush to the first section, which happens to be furniture.

**Mary Frances:** Alright, you can each pick a bookcase and either a desk or vanity. And Erik, we need to find you a bed.

**Christine:**_***wanders into dishware***_

**Raoul:** _***picks out desk and bookcase***_

**Erik:** _***also picks out desk, bookcase, two chairs, and coffee table***_

**Me (to Christine as she wanders back over to the group):** What'd you find?

**Christine **_***shows me box***_**:** It's a little tea set. I think it'd be rather decorative.

**Me:** Cute! _***turns back to Raoul and Erik, who are gleefully hopping around on one of the beds on display***_ What the heck, guys! Cut it out, people are staring!

**Erik & Raoul **_***hang heads and get off bed***_**:** Killjoy!

**Erik **_***sees nice four-poster bed***_**:** Oh hey, check it out, I found my bed! _***sticks it in cart***_

**Christine:**_***picks out vanity, bookcase, two chairs, and a coffee table***_

We move on to wall décor.

**Erik:** Perfect! Mirrors! _***starts piling fancy mirrors into cart excitedly***_

**Christine & Raoul:**_***get a nice wall clock and a single mirror each***_

We head into the next area: simple decorations.

**Erik **_***sees endless shelves of candles***_**:** Finally! A lifetime supply of candles for my new future lair! _***dashes down the aisle and smells every single candle before tossing them into his cart***_

**Christine:**_***follows Erik and can't resist getting a couple of pretty wall sconces***_

**Mary Frances:** Why don't you get some candles, too, Raoul?

**Raoul **_***while examining old-fashioned alarm clock***_**:** Have you seen those things? They're fire hazards! And besides, it would be such a tragedy if my hair accidently caught on fire!

**Me:** No kidding…

**Christine **_***comes back***_**:** I think we might as well move on, Erik's going to be occupied with those candles for a while…

**Erik:** _***sniffing and dropping candles into cart***_ …and lavender, and sea breeze, and vanilla, and black raspberry, and fresh rain, and tropical palms, and fruit infusion, and tangerine—_***stops, eyes widen, and immediately puts candle back***_—and rose, and chocolate mint, and coffee—_***stops again, but big smile crosses face…***_

Meanwhile, Christine finds a large jewelry box.

**Raoul:** What are you going to use that for? You don't have any jewelry.

**Christine:** Not yet I don't, but I'm sure I'll collect some over time! Maybe you could assist me in that district… A true gentleman presents his lady with jewelry every now and then, you know!

**Erik:**_***unexpectedly whizzes by with his candle-filled cart, laughing manically***_

**Me:** Ah crap…

**Mary Frances:** …can you get high from smelling candles?

**Me:** Only if you're Erik.

We hurriedly follow Erik over to bedding, where he is once again jumping around and doing flips on one of the beds on display. This time, we let him calm down a bit while we help Christine and Raoul pick their bedding.

**Mary Frances:** Look, Christine, here's a white, eyelet daybed set!

**Christine:** YAY! PRETTINESS! _***throws it into cart***_

**Me:** Raoul, this would go very nicely with the colors in your room! _***shows him a white and red striped bedding set***_

**Raoul:** Indeed, it would! _***puts it into cart before wandering off to the next section***_

**Erik **_***idly strolls up to us***_**:** Okay, I'm good now…what are we looking at?

**Me:** Bedding sets. Go ahead and pick one out. _***walks off with Christine***_

**Mary Frances:** You heard her, select one and get on with it!

**Erik:** There is no rushing a selection when it comes to bedding, my dear!

**Mary Frances:** Fine, but quickly, please!

**Erik **_***glances at me while observing different colors and patterns and styles***_**:** Does she always dress like that when you guys go out?

**Mary Frances:** Yes, she likes to set herself apart from others and make an impression.

**Erik:** Ah…interesting. _***finds a silky black bedding set***_ AHA! PERFECT!

They join us in the pillows isle.

**Me:** Hey! We're picking out some throw pillows.

**Raoul:** Allow me to demonstrate!_***throws a pillow at Erik and it hits him in the face***_

**Erik:** OH, you're dead _now_, stupid fop! _***picks up pillow and chases Raoul around the aisle***_

**Christine:** Hey, you can't call my husband names! _***throws pillow at Erik, but misses and hits Mary Frances instead***_

**Mary Frances:** Oh! You want some of this, girly-girl? _***grabs pillow and joins pillow war***_

**Me:** Must I always be the sane one? Alright, yo, let's move on before someone calls security!

We gather our selected pillows and head into the curtains area.

**Christine:** I think I should get sheer, white curtains to match my bedding.

**Me:** Yes, that will be very pretty, and it'll look very nice against your wall colors.

**Mary Frances:** Oh for the love of God and all that is good and holy!

**Me:** Oh come on, white goes very well with blue and purple!

**Mary Frances:** Not THAT! _***points***_ THAT!

We all look down the aisle to see Erik, once again, attempting to punjab Raoul, but this time, with a tassel hanging off of some fancy curtains!

**Me **_***groans***_**:** Not again…

**Raoul:** THIS IS SERIOUSLY GETTING OLD, MAN! AND WE'RE OUT IN PUBLIC!

**Erik:** NOT TO ME, IT'S NOT! PUBLIC, SCHMUBLIC! YOU SHALL DIE AND—_***sees us standing there, waves awkwardly, and then scurries off to find some curtains***_

**Raoul:** I don't know how you guys do that…

**Me:** It's a gift.

**Mary Frances:** Yes, a gift; a gift you obviously don't possess.

**Raoul:** How do I obtain that gift?

**Mary Frances**_***thinks for a moment***_**:** Don't be RaFop de Changy.

**Raoul:** Well, I'm just glad I'm not Mary…uh…Mar…errr…

**Mary Frances:** Got nothin'?

**Raoul:**_***hangs head in defeat***_

Erik ends up finding some silky, black tieback curtains, complete with tassels. Raoul gets some simple red panels.

Raoul has wandered off again and we are checking out some of the pretty chandeliers with Christine when Erik approaches us with a frickin' grandfather clock and a ton of floor rugs…and a doormat with a fancy letter 'E' in the center.

**Me:** Really, Erik? A doormat?

**Erik:** It's professional looking… What are we viewing now?

**Christine:** Decorative chandeliers. _***sticks one in cart***_

**Erik:** Perfect! _***evil grin***_ Let's make sure we get one for the fop, as well!

**Mary Frances:** As long as you don't try to drop it on him or anything!

**Erik **_***'Busted!'***_**:** …forget it…

Raoul casually joins the group and our eyes widen at the sight of his cart.

**Everybody:** _Really_, Raoul?

His cart is now overflowing with every hair care product imaginable!

**Raoul:** …what?

* * *

**Me:** And that is the conclusion to our first adventure! Once again, I apologize for its ridiculous length…

**Erik:** And thank you to our beloved phangirl, **Vanessa Osbourne**, for predicting/submitting your idea!

**Me:** Yes, thank you so much! And that reminds me, if any of you other phangirls have any adventure ideas, please feel free to share them! I'm open to anything! If you guys want to do a get-together or slumber party or something, let me know and I will make it happen!

**Erik:** Wait…you're not saying that…you're actually going to invite all of the phangirls out there…to our house…and have them stay the night…and torment me?

**Me:** Yes, of course! And they are not going to "torment" you, it'll be lots of fun, you'll see! And may I remind you, it's my room you're staying in tonight, so behave!

**Erik:** …are you going to kick me in the shins, by any chance?

**Me:** Uhhh…well, would you look at that, we're out of time! Hope you all enjoyed! Please leave a review! We love you all!


	5. Dreadful Driving & Eye Exams

_Dreadful Driving & Eye Exams_

The next morning, I woke up in my bed with an arm wound around my waist. I jumped in surprise before realizing it had been my shift with Erik the previous night. I was relieved he had stayed put all night and let us get a good, full night's sleep.

**Erik:**_***stirs and opens eyes* **_Good morning, my dear…_** *looks down and awkwardly yanks his arm away***_

**Me:** Good morning. _***sits up and stretches***_

**Erik **_***follows me lead***_**:** Um, isn't today Monday?

**Me **_***petting Spooky***_**:** Yeah…why?

**Erik:** Well, don't you and Mary Frances have school on Mondays?

**Me:** Nope, not this week! We're on Spring break, which means we're going to have plenty of time to update and such!

**Erik:** Sweet! What's on this week's agenda so far?

**Me:** Well, on Friday, Mary Frances and I have a performance at our church, so you guys are going to have to come and sit through that. And _**MAYBE**_ on Saturday, we could have a 'meet & greet' pool party with all of the Phangirls!

**Erik:** …you have a pool?

**Me:** Yes, we do, look out the window!

**Erik **_***gets up and peers through the blinds***_**:** Wow, nice!

**Me:** Yeah, and it's been recently renovated, so it's ready for swimming! And this Sunday is Easter! Oh, and today, I have an appointment at the vision center…

**Erik:** Come again?

**Me:** I have an eye exam today. They're going to check my eyes and see if I need glasses or contacts.

**Erik:** Ohhhh… FOUR EYES!

**Me:** WHAT DID YOU SAY?

**Erik:** Nothing!

**Me:** Whatever. I'm going to need a ride, because the machinery they use makes your eyes all weird and really sensitive to light.

**Erik:** I'll take you!

**Me:** What? Since when do you drive?

**Erik:** …since the last time I got bored?

Later on that day…we're heading to the vision center in the Mustang.

**Me:** ERIK! WATCH OUT FOR THAT MAILBOX!

**Erik:**_***quickly swerves***_

**Me:** TREE!

**Erik:**_***veers into the other side of the road***_

**Me:** OH. MY. GOD. WE. ARE. GOING. TO. DIE! _***starts to hyperventilate***_

**Erik:** Okay, seriously, if this were a carriage or a horse, we'd already be there! Just calm down!

**Me:** Calm down? We haven't even gotten out of the neighborhood yet and you've nearly killed us half a dozen times! WATCH OUT FOR THE OTHER CAR!

**Erik **_***swerves back into the correct lane***_**:** This is harder than it looks!

**Me:** MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE GETTING THEIR EYES CHECKED!

10 terrifying minutes later, Erik somehow manages to get us to the vision center in one piece.

**Erik:**_***helps me out of the car***_ Are you okay, dear? You seem a little shaky…

**Me:** Oh no, I'm perfectly fine; I just saw 'the light' a few hundred times in the past 10 minutes!

**Erik:** Um, actually, I think the correct term for that is 'the sun'…

**Me:** Oh shut up!

We go into the vision center.

**Lady Behind The Counter:** Hi there, you must be Lauren?

**Me:** Yes, and this is my special guest, Erik. I think he needs to get his eyes checked, as well.

**Lady Behind The Counter:** Alright, well, please fill out these new patient forms and we'll be right with you.

I take the clipboard, sit down with Erik, and fill everything out.

**Erik:** Just you wait, my eyes will be perfectly fine and you're going to have an astigmatism of some sort!

**Me:** Uh huh, sure… After that driving experience, I won't be surprised if you're _blind_!

They call us and we go into the exam room.

**Exam Lady:** Hi guys, my name is Valerie and I'm going to be testing your vision today. Who's going first?

**Me:** Well, this is our first eye exam, but I'll go first to show Erik how it's done.

I sit in the exam chair and Valerie puts the machine thingy in front of my face.

**Valerie:** Alright, sweetie, now read the following letters on the bottom row…

**Me:** V T F…oh no, wait, I think that's an E…um, J K C.

**Valerie:** And how about this set of letters?

**Me:** Y…or is that a T? A P…oh wait, that's an R. L B M…wait, I mean N…I think.

**Valerie:** That's alright…and here's the last slide.

**Me:** U S O…or a Q, I can't tell… X G I.

We continue the exam and finish in a couple minutes.

**Erik (to me while Valerie gets everything ready for his exam):** You failed…miserably…

**Me:** Oh yeah? Get your butt in that chair and see how miserably you fail!

Erik smirks and does so.

**Valerie:** Alright, honey, I'm going to have to ask you to remove that mask of yours.

**Erik **_***eyes widen***_**:** Uhm…I'd rather not…

**Me:** Erik, just take it off, she's not going to mind! That's what so great about the 21st century!

**Erik:**_***sighs, slowly takes mask off, and hands it to me to hold***_

To his relief, Valerie doesn't mind at all and he effortlessly aces his eye exam.

**Valerie:** I'm speechless! I have never seen a more perfect pair of eyes!

**Erik:**_***sticks his tongue out at me***_

**Me:** _***crosses arms and glares back at him***_

**Valerie **_***starts to leave***_**:** Dr. Spitler will be right with you.

**Erik:** Told you so!

**Me:** Whatever…don't rub it in, jerk! _***gets back into chair***_

Dr. Spitler enters.

**Dr. Spitler:** Hey there, I'm Dr. Shane Spitler and I will be examining your eyes this morning.

He examines my eyes.

**Dr. Spitler:** Wow, you have some pretty eyes; they're such a beautiful amber color.

**Me **_***giggles***_**:** Aw, thank you!

**Erik:**_***crosses arms and rolls eyes***_

**Dr. Spitler (to me):** Yes, you do have a sort of a regular astigmatism. I'm going to write up your prescription real quick before examining Mr. Erik's eyes.

He does so and then examines Erik's eyes.

**Dr. Spitler:** Mr. Erik, I'm pleased to inform you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your eyes and you are in no need of a prescription of any sort!

**Erik:**_***smiles triumphantly***_

We go out into another area where a lady with frizzy curls teaches me how to use my new contacts while Erik sits in the lobby and watches.

Afterward, I get to pick out my own glasses.

**Frizzy Curls Lady:** So, is there a specific frame shape you're interested in?

**Me:** Anything that will compliment my facial shape, I guess.

**Erik:**_***picks out circular spectacles and shoves them onto my face***_ HARRY POTTER!

**Me:** No way! _***puts them back***_

**Frizzy Curls Lady:** How about these rectangular pink ones?

**Me:** Uhm, no, I don't wear pink…ever. _***picks out black rounded rectangular glasses***_ Ooh, these are cool! _***puts them on***_ How do I look?

**Frizzy Curls Lady:** They look great!

**Erik:** Yes, very nice!

**Me:** Thanks! I like them, too!

We get my contact necessities and then check out.

**Erik:**_** *cough***_ Four _***cough***_ eyes! _***cough***_

**Me:** _***hits him over the head***_ JERK!

* * *

**Me:** Yeah, hopefully Erik will get us back home safely. If I don't update, I'm either in jail with Erik…

**Erik:** Or we crashed into something that took both our lives…

**Me:** Anyway, now that we've gotten through the basics, I'm going to start basing our chapters off of what's going on in me and Mary France's crazy lives! For example, I really did get glasses and contacts recently! And Dr. Spitler really did compliment my eyes…

**Erik:** I didn't get a compliment or anything…

**Me:** Yeah, well you have perfect vision, so I don't want to hear it! Anyway, LISTEN UP ALL YOU PHANGIRLS AND READERS! We are hosting a spring break, meet & greet, pool party this Saturday, so you have until then to tell me if you're coming, what you want to do and say, and offer any crazy ideas, so REVIEW or PM me! And remember: pool party = ERIK SHIRTLESS!

**Erik:**_***gasps, eyes widen, gulps***_


	6. Jesus, the Redneck Snake Hunter

_Jesus, the Redneck Snake Hunter_

Mary Frances and I were in the master bathroom, chattering and preparing ourselves for the performance at our church…when we are interrupted by a bloodcurdling scream of horror!

**Me & Mary Frances **_***as we bolt from my room***_**:** RAOUL! RAOUL!

But instead of Raoul (for once…), we find Christine standing at the window in the fancy dining room, a look of pure terror displayed on her face.

**Christine:** A FREAKIN' SNAKE JUST SLITHERED INTO YOUR BIRDHOUSE!

**Me & Mary Frances:** WHAT?

**Raoul **_***runs in with Erik***_**:** SNAKE?

**Erik:** WHERE?

**Christine:** IN THE BIRDHOUSE!

**Me:** Stay here! _***I dash out the front door to find out what kind of snake it is.***_

**Raoul:** Wait, what's she doing?

**Erik:** OH NO! She's sacrificing herself to the snake!

**Christine:** DON'T DO IT, LAUREN!

They all watch in terror as I pick up a stick and vigorously poke the birdhouse. Immediately, a loud rattling sound emits from within. I back off and go back into the house.

**Me:** It's a rattle snake…

**Mary Frances:** Oh crap…

**Christine:** What do we do now?

**Me:** Well, if it's not gone by the time we get back from "Born For This", I'll have my Uncle Matt come and investigate.

**Erik:** Who's Uncle Matt?

**Me:** You'll meet him tonight at "Born For This". He plays Jesus and he's amazing!

Around an hour later, Erik attempts to drive us to the church in the minivan. I'm in shotgun, while Mary Frances and Christine sit in the middle row, and Raoul is in the back. I'm wearing a red dress and a red mantle and Mary Frances is wearing a lavender dress with a matching mantle.

**Raoul:** So what exactly is "Born For This"?

**Me:** It's a Lenten program that our church does every year, where the Stations of the Cross are portrayed through song and poetry. It's a very beautiful performance.

**Erik:** Which part do you play?

**Me:** I'm Mary Magdalene. Mary Frances is Veronica. I have a whole song, a solo, and a part where I vocalize to the music. And Mary Frances also has a whole song—OH MY GOD, ERIK! WATCH OUT!

Everyone shrieks in panic as Erik suddenly veers into the ditch and a loud CLANK is heard!

**Me **_***after the vehicle finally stops***_**:** Oh my God…that was utterly terrifying…is everyone all right?

**Christine:** _***hyperventilating***_ I'm…okay…just…give…me…a…minute…

**Raoul:**_***faints in the back seat***_

**Erik:** _***eyes wide in shock***_ So that was 'the light' you were talking about on Monday…

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, I think we're all good… Dude, what did we hit?

**Me:** Holy crap… _***I look out the window to discover the rearview mirror on my side had been completely taken off by a big yellow reflector.***_

**Me:** We lost the mirror… Oh, thank God it was only the mirror! If we had swerved any closer to that reflector, we'd all be dead right now! _***looks over at Erik***_ Alright, mister! I'M driving the rest of the way! And don't even _think_ about trying to drive again until you've had some _SERIOUS_ training!

**Erik:** _***still in shock***_ Yeah, be my guest!

We switch seats and make it to the church on time.

**Raoul **_***suddenly wakes up***_**:** Whoa, what happened?

**Christine **_***getting out of the car***_**:** You don't want to know…

We head into the church and over to the choir area.

**Mrs. Karen (our choir director, aka 'Mary'):** Hey, Lauren, Mary Frances!

**Me:** Hey, Mrs. Karen! I hope you don't mind, but we brought the Phantom of the Opera, the fopster, and his pretty wife, Christine, along to listen to the performance!

**Mrs. Karen:** Oh, that's great!

**Erik **_***gasps***_**:** ORGAN! _***dashes up to the organ and begins playing "The Phantom of the Opera" theme song***_

**Christine:** _***starts singing along***_ THE PHAAAAAAANTOM OF THE OPERA IS THEEEEEERE INSIIIIIDE MY MIIIIIIIIND!

**Me:** Erik, Christine stop! People are trying to meditate and pray and stuff!

**Erik:** Whatever, this organ sucks anyway!

**Anthony (aka 'Pilate') **_***sees me***_**:** Hey there! How are you?

**Me **_***smiles***_**:** Hey! I'm good!

We then lead the trio over to an empty pew in front of the one we're going to be sitting in just as Uncle Matt enters the church.

**Uncle Matt **_***hugs me***_**:** Hey, Laur! You ready for this?

**Me:** Of course I am! Listen, we have a problem: a rattle snake has decided that it now owns the birdhouse in my front yard. Would you be so kind as to come over later tonight and investigate?

**Uncle Matt **_***looks up dazedly, then turns back to me with an evil grin***_**:** …I'll take care of it…

In a few minutes time, "Born For This" begins with a prologue that's so long, the entire congregation of the church could go to war with another church, return with victory, and they'd still be on time for the first song…which happens to be Anthony's song!

**Erik (to me, while Anthony is singing):** Wow…he's amazing!

**Me:** Yeah, I know!

**Erik:** …but he's not as good as me!

**Me **_***rolls eyes***_**:** True, no one can match you and your awesomeness!

One song later, it's Uncle Matt's turn to sing!

**Christine:** Dang…that man can _sing_!

**Me:** Yeah, that's my uncle!

**Christine:** Hmmmm…is he married?

**Me:** Uhm…yes, he is, and so are you, in case you forgot!

Next, Mrs. Karen sings her song, which depicts Mary's agonizing pain as she walks by her son's side while he bears his cross and all.

**Raoul:**_***crying***_ That…was…so…depressing…but…beautiful!

**Erik:** Eh…her voice could use a little tuning…

One song later, Mary Frances approaches the microphone and sings her song.

**Me **_***hugs her when she returns***_**:** That was awesome! You were great!

**Mary Frances:** Thank you, thank you!

Finally, we near the end of the performance and I sing my own song.

**Me (to Erik):** How did I do?

**Erik:** It was beautiful! Even Christine couldn't have done it better! Your voice…it just fit that song and its melody so wonderfully!

**Me:**_***blushes***_ Aww, thanks!

We start to leave after wishing everyone a good night.

**Anthony **_***hugs me***_**:** You did great tonight! I'm very impressed!

**Me **_***blushes for the 15**__**th**__** time that night***_**:** Thank you, you did great, too!

**Erik:**_***gives me odd look as we all exit church together***_

**Me:** …what?

**Erik:** You like him, don't you?

**Me:** No! I just…admire him…that's all! Besides, our age difference is ridiculous!

**Erik:** Sure.

**Me:** Just drop it. We have more important things to worry about. Like that stupid snake in our birdhouse!

We drive back home to discover the snake is _still_ sitting in the birdhouse and seems to have no intentions of moving out.

**Me:** Oh well…his funeral!

We go inside and eat some dinner. Suddenly, a loud gunshot is heard from outside the house!

**Me:**_***immediately looks up from magazine***_ Uncle Matt's here…

We all head out into the front yard where Uncle Matt's standing there with his shotgun in hand.

**Uncle Matt:** Alright _***cocks gun***_ where is this thing?

**Me:** Right here! _***leads him to the birdhouse***_

We all watch as he circles around to the side of the birdhouse, aims, and blasts the freakin' bejesus out of the birdhouse and snake!

Afterward, everyone gathers around the birdhouse to examine the damage while the snake lies unnoticed, bleeding to death, in the grass.

**Everyone:** Aww, poor birdhouse…

**Uncle Matt **_***walks up and inspects snake***_**:** That's not a rattle snake…

**Me:** What? It isn't?

**Uncle Matt:** Nope, I think it's actually a coachwhip, which sucks because they're harmless.

**Me:** Oh well…if you act like a rattle snake, you gonna die like a rattle snake!

**Snake:** Well, ya could have told me that before ya blasted me inta four separate pieces, man!

**Everyone:** HOLY CRAP, IT SPEAKS!

**Raoul:**_***runs back into the house, screaming like a madwoman—er, I mean madman***_

**Snake:** Well…that was…unexpected…

**Me:** Oh, of course it was, because talking snakes are _so_ abundant in our neighborhood!

**Snake **_***continues bleeding to death***_**:** Ooooooohhh, the PAIN! THE PAIN!

**Uncle Matt:** This is sadly entertaining…

**Snake:** Hey…I think…I…see 'the light'!

**Erik:** Trust me, we all know about that!

**Snake **_***now gasping for breath***_**:** There is….another…Scalewalker… _***dies***_

**Mary Frances:** Wow…I seriously believe he waited all his life to pull that one joke in the very end!

**Everyone:**_***murmurs in agreement before going back inside***_

* * *

**Me:** Yep, that's how our Friday night went! I really did perform at my church and my awesome Uncle Matt really did blow a snake out of my birdhouse right afterward!

**Erik:** Except the stupid snake didn't talk…unfortunately…

**Me:** And yes, I was nearly killed in what would have been a terrible car accident a few months ago and just thought it'd be fitting to put that in there, since Erik was driving…

**Erik:**_***smiles sheepishly***_

**Me:** Oh, by the way, we're so excited that so many of you awesome Phangirls are coming to our pool party tomorrow! We're going to have a blast…er, should I say 'splash'?

**Erik:** Yes, that would be appropriate…

**Me:** Anyway, there's still time to submit specific things you want to say or do! I can't believe tomorrow's the party! Get your swimsuits, flipflops, towels, and sunscreen ready! This is going to get _crazy_!


	7. Spring Break Pool Party!

_Spring Break Pool Party!_

The day has finally arrived! We're all chilling out and getting ourselves ready for the party!

**Raoul:** I'm not sure if I feel comfortable wearing this…

**Erik:** Speak for yourself! At least you don't have the face of an outcast and have all these crazy Phangirls who are in love with you regardless!

**Me:** Guys, shut up! We're going to have a great time today!

**Raoul:** Not if you force us to wear nothing but our boxers all day!

**Me:** They're not boxers, they're swimming trunks! And you guys can wear T-shirts for the time being before the Phangirls get here.

**Mary Frances:** Here Christine, this is my extra bathing suit. _***hands her white ruffled bikini***_ You can wear it for today.

**Christine **_***holds bathing suit up in disgust***_**:** WHAT? There is no way I'm wearing this! It's in two pieces! How improper!

**Me:** Calm down, Chris, everyone wears them like that! It's called a 'bikini'.

**Erik:** Hmm…that sounds hot!

**Me & Christine & Mary Frances:** ERIK!

**Erik:** What? It does…

**Me **_***rolls eyes and turns back to Christine***_**:** Besides, I'm sure all of the Phangirls will be wearing them today, including myself, so you'll fit right in!

We disperse and change into our bathing suits. I'm wearing my pretty black bikini and Mary Frances has a purple paisley tankini.

**Me **_***as we dash out the front door into the driveway***_**:** Come on, guys! They're going to be here any minute now!

**Erik **_***from inside the house***_**:** I'm not meeting my Phangirls looking like this!

**Christine:** Oh come on, Erik! You look fine!

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, you look I like a normal person!

**Erik:** That's the point! I thought they preferred me in my tux and cape and all that hot stuff!

**Me:** No, they just prefer you in the flesh…as it were!

**Raoul **_***wearing his trunks and T-shirt***_**:** At least I'm content with my appearance and not acting like some sissy.

**Me:** Your suit's on backwards, you dork…

**Raoul:** It is? Whatever, I like it this way.

**Me:** Erik, get your butt out here right now before I come in there and drag you out myself!

**Erik:** NO!

**Me:** Not even if I promise to make some special pancakes just for you after everyone leaves?

**Erik:** … _***sprints out of the house excitedly, wearing his swimming trunks and T-shirt***_

**Me **_***hugs him***_**:** That's a good Phantom!

**Mary Frances **_***points excitedly***_**:** Look! They're here!

Sure enough, the "Official Erik's Phangirls Bus" comes down the road and pulls into our driveway. It's a huge, black, double-decker bus with a lovely picture of Erik printed on the side, along with a single message: "ERIK OR BUST!"

After the giant vehicle parks, the Phangirls begin to file out.

EriksNewLove steps out of the bus in her bathing suit and wearing her $230 glasses. She immediately runs toward us.

**EriksNewLove:** Hey guys! _***gives everyone a hug…except for Raoul!***_

**Me:** Hey! Glad you could make it!

**Mary Frances:** It's great to meet you!

**Erik **_***as she hugs him***_**:** So you're my new love?

**EriksNewLove:** Yep, that's me!

**Erik:** Oh, alright.

Next, the sisters, Neverland Child, Fire Vein, and Wild Child, dismount the vehicle together in their swimsuits. Neverland Child has an expensive-looking keyboard in her arms.

**Me:** Hey, girls! So glad you could join us!

**Fire Vein:** Hey, where's the pool? That's pretty much the only reason I even came along!

**Mary Frances:** Oh, don't worry, it's in the backyard.

**Neverland Child **_***sees Phantom and carefully places keyboard down***_**:** Oh…my…good…ness…

**Erik **_***braces self***_**:** Oh great.

**Neverland Child:** IT'S THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! _***runs and hugs him elatedly***_

**Wild Child:** You can say that again, sis! _***also runs up and gleefully attaches herself to Erik's leg***_

**Neverland Child:** This is better than watching _Lord of the Rings_!

**Fire Vein **_***gasps***_**:** HURTFUL!

**Raoul:** Hey, what's the keyboard for?

**Neverland Child:** Oh I brought it along with me so that I could play everyone a song or two later!

**Wild Child:** Yeah! And Christine and Erik, would you please, please, pretty please sing along when she plays? That would be a dream come true for me!

**Christine:** Aw! Of course we will!

**Erik:** …what? We will?

**Christine:** _***elbows him hard in the gut***_

**Erik:** _***Oof!***_ I meant: yes, we'd be honored to!

**Wild Child:** YAY!

MapleRock then steps out of the bus with her "Fleeting Hope" Erik, who strongly resembles Leroux's version of Erik, except he's in his twenties. MapleRock is in her mid-teens, brown hair down to her shoulder blades, blue gray eyes, and around 5'5". They're both wearing Victorian clothes, but with their swimsuits underneath. MapleRock has a teal two-piece suit with boy short bottoms while FH Erik is wearing black swim trunks.

**Me:** Hey guys!

**Mary Frances:** So glad you could come!

**MapleRock:** Well…hello, there… _***bats eyelashes at Erik***_

**FH Erik:** _***scoffs and looks away***_

**Erik:** Er, hi, nice to meet you, I'm—

**MapleRock **_***puts a finger to his lips***_**:** Oh, don't worry, I know who you are… _***wink***_

**Me **_***cuts in***_**:** Dude, how did you get him to wear those swim trunks? _***nods at FH Erik***_

**MapleRock:** Oh, trust me, it wasn't easy: after about an hour's worth of puppy eyes, I was finally able to convince him to wear them! _***lowers voice***_ I think he looks pretty attractive in them, don't you?

**Me:** Oh yes, I agree!

**FH Erik:**_***shakes hands with Erik***_ Erik thinks this is going to be a long day…

**Erik:** You have no idea…

Next, OprGhst bounds out of the bus in her bathing suit.

**OprGhst **_***squeeeeeee!***_**:** ERIK! _***jumps and glomps him***_

**Me:**_** *laughs at Erik's stunned expression***_

**Erik:** Uhm, nice to meet you, too?

**OprGhst **_***releases him***_**:** Sorry, I've just been waiting all my life to do that… _***squeals and glomps him yet again***_

Suddenly, Crash leaps out of the bus with her arms outstretched.

**Crash:** I'M HEEEERE!

**Mary Frances:** Yes, you are!

**Crash:** _***notices Erik***_ Whoa, whoa, whoa, why does he have a shirt on?

**Me:** Oh don't worry, it's only for the time being: I told him he could wear it until it's party time.

**Crash:** Okay, good! _***looks Raoul up and down***_ Um, okay, seriously fop, why are your trunks on backwards?

**Raoul:** What? I like them this way!

**Crash:** Figures…

Then Grissrox (Cori) bursts out of the vehicle and makes a mad dash up to us.

**Cori:** _***throws her arms around Erik***_ OH MY GOSH, IT'S YOU!

**Erik:** Uhm, yeah, it's me!

**Me:** Hey, girl, so glad you could come!

**Cori:** _***releases Erik***_ I know! The party hasn't even started yet and this is already the best day of my life!

**Erik:** How much more of this must I endure?

**Me:** Oh quit you're whining and be a man!

Then, Heywhatup exits the bus runs and gives everyone hugs!

**Heywhatup:** _***singsongs***_ Hey, what up!

**Me:** Hey, girl! So glad you could make it!

**Heywhatup:** Me too!

Next, Captain Phantom Glass hops out of the bus, wearing her bathing suit. She's 5'7", with past-her-hips-long blonde hair that's pulled back into a braid, sky blue eyes, and tan skin.

**Captain Phantom Glass **_***jumping around excitedly***_**:** Hi hi hi hi! I'm so glad to meet you guys and I'm so excited to be here! So where's the pool? I don't see it! But maybe it's in the backyard? Oh yeah, that's probably why I don't see it!

**Erik:** Did you have any soda before you arrived, by any chance?

**Captain Phantom Glass:** No, silly, this is the real me! _***jumps Erik***_

**Erik:** Wow, in that case, you'd be an interesting sight when you're all jacked up on soda!

Finally, the last Phangirl exits the bus with her two guests: it's Vanessa Osbourne, with Antonio Salieri and Erique Claudin! They're all wearing their regular clothes.

**Vanessa Osbourne:** 'Sup? Hope you don't mind, but I brought two of my peeps along.

**Me:** Awesome! Nice to meet you guys!

**Salieri:** N1C3 2 M337 U 2, N008! (Nice to meet you too, noob!)

**Mary Frances:** …is he okay?

**Vanessa Osbourne:** I'm sorry, it might seem a little weird, but he begged me to take 1337 (leet) courses last week and has been this way ever since…

**Me:** Oh yeah, that makes sense!

**Erik (to VO):** Wait…so you're not going to jump me or anything?

**Vanessa Osbourne:** And break your ribs in the process? Not for all the cheesylicious nachos in the world!

**Erik:** …I LOVE YOU!

**Mary Frances:** Why aren't you guys wearing your swimsuits?

**Vanessa Osbourne:** To swim or not to swim: that is the question…

**Me:** Come on, girls, let's get this party started!

**Phangirls:** _***cheer and follow us to the back yard***_

We lead them to our huge patio where the crystal clear pool is. The area around the pool is surrounded by lounge chairs and an awesome snack table.

**Me:** Alright, ladies! It's time for the grand unveiling! _***rips Erik's shirt off***_

**Erik:** AGH!

**Phangirls:** _***swoon and squeal***_

**Fire Vein:** Oh please just kill me now!

**MapleRock:** OH yeah! That's MUCH better!

**Christine:** HOLY CRAP, ERIK, YOU'RE HOT!

**Wild Child:** _***places hand on Erik's arm***_ I feel for you dude…

**Neverland Child:**_** *sits down on lounge chair, seemingly uninterested, and begins applying her sunscreen***_

**Mary Frances:** _***tosses Phangirls a bottle***_ Here's some sunscreen! Have at him!

**Erik:** WHAT? THAT WASN'T PART OF THE DEAL!

**Me:** It is now!

**Phangirls:** _***squeal and get to work putting Erik's sunscreen on for him***_

**Erik:** GOD HELP ME!

**Vanessa Osbourne:**_***stares at other Phangirls blankly with her right eye twitching slightly***_

**Salieri & Erique:**_***hide behind her, whispering***_ …_they're savages_…

**Vanessa Osbourne:** This is weirder than the intermediate 1337(leet) course we took last week!

**Salieri:** … _***pupils dilate, starts running around the yard***_ …PWN T3H N0085! (Pwn the noobs!)

**Crash:** _***sneakily switches Christine's sunscreen with extreme sun**_**tanning**_** lotion***_

**Erik:** _***yelps* **_I DO _NOT_ NEED SUNSCREEN THERE!

**Raoul:** _***takes shirt off and poses***_

**Phangirls:** Ew…phail!

**Raoul:** …what?

**Me:** Yeah, fopster, Erik's beat you by a couple thousand miles…

**Raoul:**_***hangs head***_

**Christine:**Don't worry, Raouly-Bear, I still love you… _***mutters***_ even if you have the body of a wuss… _***starts putting on her "sunscreen"***_

**Crash:** _***snickers***_

**Christine:** What's so funny?

**Crash:** Oh nothing, dear!

**Cori **_***brushes hands off***_**:** Alright, we're finished with his sunscreen!

**Erik:** PRAISE GOD!

**Captain Phantom Glass:** Yep! Time to swiiiiiiim!

**EriksNewLove:** Last one in is RaFop's girlfriend!

Phangirls dash and hop into the pool.

**Heywhatup:** Yay! _***sing songs***_ Swimming time! _***jumps into pool***_

**Neverland Child & Fire Vein & Wild Child:**_***all jump into the pool together***_

**Me:** _***approaches Erik***_ Was that too much?

**Erik:** _***utterly traumatized***_ I have no idea, ask me again after they all leave…

**Me:** Oh come on, it's a party! Just let loose and have fun! Besides, all the girls came out here mainly to see _you_! _***runs off and joins the other girls in the pool***_

**OprGhst:** _***suddenly glomps Erik***_

**Erik:** Might I ask why you keep doing that?

**OprGhst:** I don't know, you looked like you needed a hug! _***runs and does a flip into the pool***_

**Christine:** _***finishes with her "sunscreen" and cannonballs off the diving board***_

**FH Erik (to MapleRock):** Ah, I see you've finished giving Monsieur Erik the rub-down you, in fact, owe to me?

**MapleRock:** _***pushes FH Erik into the pool***_

**Crash:** _***approaches Erik with hand outstretched towards his well-built chest***_ May I?

**Erik:** Uhm, sure, I guess.

**Crash:** _***elatedly feels abs before raising her head, quickly standing on tiptoes, and putting her lips to his***_ OH MY GOD, I STOLE A KISS FROM THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! _***squeals, runs, and does a fancy flip into the pool***_

**Erik:** _***eyes wide with shock***_ Sneaky, that one…

**Vanessa Osbourne:** _***taps Erik on the shoulder***_ Here…I brought this for you. Figured it would come in handy at some point. _***hands him a black T-shirt***_

**Erik:** YOU'RE MY SAVIOUR! _***pulls shirt on***_

**Phangirls:** _***furiously glare at Vanessa Osbourne, since they can no longer ogle at Erik's hot, exposed chest***_

**Vanessa Osbourne:** _***merely shrugs at other Phangirls and does a backflip off the diving board, still wearing her regular clothes and all***_

**Cori (to Erique Claudin):** Wait…are you some kind of impersonator or something?

**Erique Claudin:** Uhm…no?

**Heywhatup:** You sure?

**Captain Phantom Glass:** You look like you're trying to match up to our _favorite_ Phantom over there!

**Erique Claudin:** _***runs and jumps into the pool to hide behind Vanessa***_

**EriksNewLove:** Hey, fop, why aren't you in the water?

**Raoul:** It's been so long since the last time I swam! I don't know if I remember how to!

**EriksNewLove:** Oh yeah? Let's find out! _***shoves him into the pool***_

**Raoul:** _***screams, falls in, and doesn't resurface even after a minute or two***_

**EriksNewLove:** I guess not… _***shrugs and walks off***_

**Heywhatup:** Um, should someone save him?

**Captain Phantom Glass:** Is he even still alive?

**Vanessa Osbourne:** Should we even care?

**Cori:** Eh, well, he's more than likely drowning…

**Erik:**_***cheers***_ PRAISE GOD!

**Christine:** PLEASE SOMEONE SAVE MY HUSBAND!

**Mary Frances:** Oh fine! _***dives underneath, retrieves Raoul, and lays him down on the pool side***_

**Christine:** Oh my God, he's dead!

**Captain Phantom Glass:** No, I think he's just unconscious.

**Christine:** IS THERE A DIFFERENCE?

**Neverland Child:** Immense…

**Christine:** EriksNewLove killed my husband!

**Me:** Um…mouth to mouth anyone?

**Phangirls:** EWWW!

**Christine:** You do it, Lauren!

**Me:** What? Are you kidding me? He's your husband! You do it!

**Christine:** I don't know how to!

**Vanessa Osbourne **_***steps forward hestitantly, groans***_**:** Fine…I'll do it! _***gets down and gives Raoul mouth to mouth***_

**Raoul:** _***coughs up water***_ CHEEZITS!

**Christine:** RAOULY! YOU'RE OKAY! _***hugs him tightly***_

**Vanessa Osbourne:** _***passes out***_

**Erik:** NO! One perfect life is lost to bring back a stupid fop's!

**Vanessa Osbourne:** _***wakes back up***_ Did I really just do what I think I just did?

**Erique Claudin:** Unfortunately…yes.

**Vanessa:** …I think I need to take a shower… _***leaves***_

**Erik:** You stupid fop! You made her leave! _***picks up unoccupied lounge chair and tosses it at Raoul***_

**Raoul:** _***catches it and attempts to throw it back, but it hits EriksNewLove and the sound of shattered glass is heard***_

**EriksNewLove:** MY $230 GLASSES!

**Raoul:** Uh oh…

**EriksNewLove:** OH, you're dead NOW, you stupid fop! AND THIS TIME I'LL MAKE SURE YOU DON'T COME BACK!_** *chases him around in the yard screaming random obscenities***_

**Raoul:**_***screaming his head off before finally being hit in the back of the head with EriksNewLove's flip-flop***_

**EriksNewLove:** _***comes back***_ Alright, I'm good…for now…

**MapleRock:** Hey, check it out, I found some scissors!

**Captain Phantom Glass:** Perfect! Let's cut Erik's shirt off of him!

**Crash:** Yes, let's do it in order to get revenge on the Phangirl who gave it to him in the first place!

**Cori:** _***grabs Erik and hold him still while the Phangirls snip his shirt off***_

**Erik:** NOOO! NOT AGAIN!

**Phangirls:** _***toss ruined T-shirt away and start ogling again***_

**Vanessa Osbourne:** _***comes back, sees Erik shirtless yet again***_ Darn…phail on my part… _***approaches Erik***_ Sir, I'm sorry for bringing a mere T-shirt when I knew I should have brought you a full suit of armor instead…

**Erik:** Don't worry about it, dear, they probably would have found a hacksaw and used that to pry it off me, anyway.

Everyone takes a break from swimming and gets punch and snacks.

**Neverland Child:** Hey, why don't I play those songs for you guys on my keyboard?

**Everybody:** Yeah!

**Wild Child:** YAY!

We all sit down on our lounge chairs while Erik and Christine sit near the keyboard.

**Neverland Child:** Alright, here's the first one! I got it memorized on the way here! _***starts playing the POTO theme song***_

**Fire Vein:** _***groans and jumps back into the pool***_

**Christine & Erik:** _***sing together for the Phangirls***_

**Phangirls:** _***clap and cheer when they finish***_

**Wild Child:** Oh! Can you play 'Angel of Music' now? Please, please, pretty please?

**Neverland Child **_***smiles at her sister***_**:** Oh fine, I'll do it for you.

**Wild Child:** _***hugs Neverland Child***_ YAY!

**Heywhatup:** I can sing Meg's part if Christine sings hers!

**Christine:** Sure, that'll be great!

They sing the duet together.

**Phangirls:** _***clap and cheer again***_ YAY, Neverland Child! Great job!

**Neverland Child:** _***takes a bow***_ Thank you, thank you!

**Erik (to Heywhatup):** I must say, my dear, you have a lovely voice…

**Heywhatup:** _***blushes***_ Thanks! _***bear hugs him, causing Erik to bump into Raoul***_

**Raoul:** _***accidently spills his punch on the keyboard***_

**Neverland Child:** Oh my gosh! You stupid fop, you ruined my keyboard!

**Phangirls:** _***all attack Raoul yet again***_

**Erik:** Hah, fop! FEEL MY PAIN!

**OprGhst:** _***glomps Erik from behind and they both fall into the pool***_

**Cori:** Hey, Erik's in the pool!

**Captain Phantom Glass:** Back in the pool!

All the Phangirls dash and dive into the pool after Erik.

**Salieri **_***cannonballs off diving board***_**:** PWN T3H N008Y W4T34!

**Vanessa Osbourne:** _***approaches Raoul***_ Here, you're going to need that later. _***hands him a bottle of Aloe Vera***_

**Raoul:** Okay, thanks! _***walks off and curiously applies some of it to his hair***_

**Vanessa Osbourne:** _***sighs and shakes head***_ Idiot…

**Me **_***backstrokes to Erik***_**:** How is your mask staying on?

**Erik:** …double sided tape?

**Me:** I knew it! _***clamps arms around his neck***_ I call first dibs on riding on Erik's back!

**Erik:** Oh fine… _***swims around with me on his back***_

**Me:** WHEEEE!

**Mary Frances:** Me next! Form a line, all the rest of you Phangirls!

**Phangirls:** _***squeeeee and all swim into a line***_

**Christine:**_** *riding on Raoul's back in the shallow end***_

**MapleRock:** _***laughing gleefully while riding on FH Erik's back***_

**Vanessa Osbourne:** _***riding on Erique Claudin's back***_

**Salieri:** _***PWNing the ******__water*_  


* * *

**Me:** YAY! Our first crazy get-together! I hope all of you Phangirls had an awesome time! I know we did! And good news: Erik wasn't totally scarred for life!

**Erik:** …you're kidding, right?

**Me:** I mean, he's a little scarred for life…but he'll get over it!

**Christine:** _***crying in the other room***_ IT STINGS SO BAD!

**Raoul:** _***with Christine in the other room***_ Don't worry, Christine, I'm here!

**Christine:** OW! STOP! IT HURTS!

**Raoul:** Here, this is going to help the sting, it's called Aloe Vera…

**Christine:** JUST KILL ME NOW!

**Raoul:** Well, look on the bright side, at least you'll have a nice tan!

**Christine:** OH SHUT UP!

**Me:** Oh yeah, um, I think someone switched Christine's sunscreen with some extreme suntanning lotion earlier because she's as red as a bloody lobster now…

**Erik:** My poor Christine!

**Me:** Anyway, you guys have a safe trip home in your awesome bus! I better get to cooking Erik's promised pancakes…

**Erik:** YAY!


	8. Easter Special A Wee Bit Late

_Easter Special (A Wee Bit Late)_

**Erik:** Okay, what kind of a title is that? Easter was a few _weeks_ ago!

**Me:** Well, I can't help it if I have a lot going on and this update was really, really long and I kept getting the occasional writers' block! Besides, it's still the Easter _season_! And of course, it's a crazy and hysterical Easter Special, complete with review replies!

* * *

I wake up in my bed to realize it's Easter Sunday! I quickly slide out of bed, pull my robe on over my nightgown, and head out of my room into the kitchen…to find Erik already there, literally bouncing off the walls of the den, laughing manically!

**Me:** What the heck is going on in here?

**Erik:** _***runs up to me and picks me up from around the waist***_ She's awake, she's awake, she's AWAAAAAAAAAAKE!

**Me:** _***notices 5 Easter baskets on dining table (one of which is entirely empty) and countless candy wrappers littering the floor***_ Oh no…

**Erik:** _***jumps around excitedly, talking so fast he's barely understandable***_ Oh Christine oh wait no I mean Lauren I think oh whatever at least you're finally awake I mean I knew you were going to wake up at some point but I don't know you just slept in a lot later than usual probably because of all the swimming we did with the Phangirls yesterday!

**Me:** Um, yeah, how about you put me down?

**Erik:** _***puts me down and stands shaking***_ Oh yes of course sorry wait where was I oh yeah so you were fast asleep and I thought you'd never wake up and I got bored so came out here and I found these pretty little baskets filled with these wrapped amazing edible brown things so I tried one out of my basket and then ate another and another and another and another until all of them were gone and then I thought about eating the other baskets' contents until I noticed the nametags and that they belonged to the rest of you guys but I went ahead and ate half of the fop's candy because he's so retarded he probably won't even notice anything missing hey you really seem to like that nightgown a lot I mean you wear it a lot so that's why I figured it was your favorite or maybe you just don't have any other sleeping wear but it looks nice on you nonetheless hey who was nice enough to drop those baskets off in the middle of the night in the first place?

**Me:** That would be the Easter bunny…

**Erik:** In that case…I FREAKIN' LOVE THE EASTER BUNNY! _***runs back into the den again, laughing manically once again***_

**Mary Frances **_***comes in***_**:** Well, I see he's discovered chocolate…

After a two, long hours, Erik has finally gotten over his insane chocolate rush. Mary Frances and I are both in the kitchen together, preparing the first of today's special projects. Christine and Raoul and Erik approach us curiously.

Christine's skin is thankfully no longer red and burned, but now an abnormal orange-ish color…therefore, reminding us of…

**Me (to Christine):** Snooki!

**Christine **_***cocks head to the side***_**:** Huh?

**Mary Frances:** Are you hungry? I'm sure we have some juicy pickles in the fridge!

**Christine:** Uh, yeah, sure, whatever… Anyway, we're bored. What are you two up to?

**Mary Frances:** We're about to make you not bored!

**Raoul:** Really? How so?

**Me:** We're about to do a little Easter project. It's called dyeing Easter eggs!

**Erik **_***quite appalled***_**:** What? Why are we murdering eggs for fun? I thought Easter represented life and resurrection and all that joyful stuff!

**Me:** Oh for the love of God, not that kind of 'dyeing'! _***sets out cups of dye on the dining table and goes to get the eggs***_

**Raoul:** _***curiously sips a dye, gags, then runs to the sink and vomits***_

**Christine:** _***reluctantly holds his hair back***_

**Mary Frances:** You stupid fop, did you really just taste that?

**Raoul:** _***cough***_ Maybe…

**Me:** Dude, it's vinegar mixed with dye for these eggs! _***sets cartons down on the table***_

**Erik:** Yeah, fop! Everyone knows that!

**Mary Frances:** Says the guy who just thought we were going to murder some eggs for our entertainment.

**Christine:** Yeah, what she said!

**Me:** Alright, alright, you know what, let's quit fighting! It's Easter, mind you, and I'm ready to dye these things!

**Mary Frances & Christine & Erik & Raoul:**_***grumbling***_ Yeah, whatever…

**Me:** Thank you! We should act like brothers and sisters today, just for today!

**Erik:** _***puts his arm around Mary Frances' shoulders and smirks***_ You know Lauren, you are absolutely correct. We should act like brothers and sisters, isn't that right, Mary Frances?

A confused and slightly worried look came over Mary Frances face, but I paid it no heed. I just smiled and went back to preparing our supplies.

After that, everything went smoothly (for once…). It was wonderful to finally see Erik and Raoul getting along as they dyed and decorated the eggs together. I was starting to believe that everyone had finally had a revelation. And I was wrong…

**Me:** _***while doing the dishes in the kitchen***_ You know May Princess, I'm really glad everyone took to heart what I said and has started to get along now.

**Mary Frances:** _***stifling laughter***_ Uh huh…

**Me:** _***suspiciously***_ Mary Frances…?

**Mary Frances:** _***still trying to suppress her laughing***_ Lauren…?

**Me:** _***hands on hips***_ What did you do?

**Mary Frances:** Just wait.

**Me:** Wait? Wh-

**Mary Frances:** And in three…two…one.

A shrill scream erupts from the next room. Erik…and Mary Frances? This can only mean trouble.

In came Raoul, and my eyes went wide. His long, swishy, blonde locks were now entirely blue and pink! His entire head looked like an exploding snow cone!

**Me:** _***slowly, trying hard to control my anger and shock***_ …Mary Frances? Is there something you need to tell me?

**Mary Frances:** Uh…

**Raoul:** MY HAIR! MY POOR BEAUTIFUL HAIR!

**Me:** _***fuming***_ ERIIIIIIIIK! GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE _THIS INSTANT_!

**Raoul:** _***starts crying pitifully and runs into Christine's arms upon my sudden outburst***_

**Erik:** _***materializing behind me***_ Something tells me you're mad…

**Me:** _***turns around***_ Oh, really now? I'm more than just "mad" bud! _***notices blue and pink stains on his hands, grabs them, and examines them***_

**Erik:** Uhm, yeah, about that…

**Me:** _***looks up furiously***_ You have some serious explaining to do!

**Erik:** _***calmly as ever***_ Fine then, I shall…

* * *

FLASHBACK—(Erik's POV)

**Me (meaning Erik):** _***wraps arm around Mary Frances' shoulders and smirks***_ You know Lauren, you are absolutely correct. We should act like brothers and sisters, isn't that right, Mary Frances?

Lauren merely smiled at my comment and goes back to preparing for our Easter project.

**Mary Frances:** _***as soon as Lauren's out of hearing distance; to me***_ What do you want from me?

**Me:** You and I will be like brother and sister…as we assist each other with a little…Easter farce.

**Mary Frances:** Of course Erik, you read my mind! I have every little detail planned out in my devilish scheme so we can—

* * *

FLASHBACK INTERUPTED—(Lauren's POV)

**Me (meaning Lauren):** _***crosses arms and looks at Mary Frances accusingly***_ It sounds like you were the main contributor here…

**Mary Frances:** NO! I swear I didn't say that, he made that up! All of this was HIS idea!

**Erik:** Well…not _everything_.

**Me:** For God's sake, Erik, just tell the truth!

**Erik:** Fine then… _***mutters something about a little twit***_

* * *

FLASHBACK—(Erik's POV)

**Me (meaning Erik):** You and I will be like brother and sister…as we assist each other with a little…Easter farce.

**Mary Frances:** No Erik, you know we can't do that to Laur—

**Me:** On RaFop.

**Mary Frances:** _***immediate change of heart***_ I'm all ears.

**Me:** I knew you would be. Now here is what we will do…I will be the brains and the most active one in this case. You will be the runner. Now, we'll have—

**Mary Frances:** Whoa, wait why can't I be the brains?

**Me:** Well you are very…logical, but as I being the man and you being the young woman, I shall do all of the, well, "brainy" work.

**Mary Frances:** Oh so now you're sexist?

**Me:** What? No, no, no I uh…it's just more uh…um…proper for me to—

**Mary Frances:** _***almost hissing***_ _Sexist_.

**Me:** I…uh…will you just let me finish!

**Mary Frances:** Fine…_***under her breath***_ Sexist…

**Me:** Okay, now—wait did you just call me that agai—never mind. After we dye the eggs and all, we have to get the dye away from Lauren.

**Mary Frances:** And what do we need the dye for?

**Me:** Well you know how the fop has really long hair...

**Mary Frances:**_***a devious smile crosses her face***_ Say no more. What next?

**Me:** Then we need an opportunity.

**Mary Frances:** I got you covered; he's trying to take a nap in the den. But we need to make sure he actually falls asleep.

**Me:** Well…maybe you could sing him a lullaby.

**Mary Frances:** You must be joking.

**Me:** I know you can sing.

**Mary Frances:** But not well enough. Why don't we get someone else to?

**Me:** Who else is there? Christine? There is no way we could talk her into doing that.

**Mary Frances:** Why don't we just tell her to? She doesn't have to know why.

**Me:** She'll ask why.

**Mary Frances:** Oh yeah, like she asked why a man was singing to her through the walls of an opera house?

**Me:** Uh…tha-that was diff—wait. How do you know about that?

**Mary Frances:** That's not important.

**Me:** H-how much _do_ you know?

**Mary Frances:** More than you'd like me to.

I cursed under my breath, I knew I'd have to ask her about that later.

It didn't take long for the fop to fall asleep. All Mary Frances said was that Raoul wanted Christine to sing him to sleep. I didn't ask how she got the dye, but she got a ton of it. How did Lauren not see how much dye was missing? Oh well, every woman has RaFop moments.

I poured every last drop of that dye in his hair. At least all the dye that didn't end up on my hands… Stupid dye.

**Mary Frances:** Ohhh, Lauren's gonna be ticked.

**Me:** And I'm going to laugh my butt off. But now, I'm going to try to get this stupid dye off my hands.

**Mary Frances:** Why didn't you just wear gloves?

**Me:** I refuse to ruin a pair of perfectly good gloves on the fop.

**Mary Frances:** I understand completely.

After a semi-stare contest, we both burst out laughing. I went and tried to fight the dye off my hands, but alas, the ink persisted. Mary Frances left to help with the dishes. I wasn't really paying much attention to the conversation in the kitchen until—

**Lauren:** ERIIIIIIIIK! GET YOUR CUTE BUTT IN HERE _THIS INSTANT_!

* * *

END OF FLASHBACK—(Lauren's POV)

**Me:** Whoa, wait I know for a fact that I did not call your butt 'cute'!

**Erik:** I know…but you were thinking it!

**Me:** Yeah, well, maybe I was! Just shut up and go back to explaining.

**Erik:** That was the end…

**Me:** Oh…well, now you're in big trouble, mister!

**Erik:** AHAHA! Do you really think you can do anything to me?

**Mary Frances:** I wouldn't test your fate; she can give you a long and agonizing punishment.

**Erik:** I highly doubt that.

**Me:** _***threateningly***_ You wanna bet some money on it? Because after I'm through with you, you won't even have a life to bet!

Erik snorted at my comment and I gave him my best death glare. For a second I thought I saw a bit of fear in his eyes, but that look was expelled by another, which happened to be a death glare. But I was going to stand my ground.

**Erik:** _***suddenly starts laughing hysterically***_ Your weak attempt at a death glare will never match mine, imp!

I scoff before a sudden idea comes to mind… I suddenly grab him by the collar and passionately kiss him! Erik is suddenly wide-eyed and speechless and I take that opportunity to drag him out of the kitchen, down the hall, and literally throw him into a closet. I then turn the volume on my stereo all the way up and allow a stream of disgusting Rap and Pop songs to play right into his closet, from where there is no escape!

**Erik:** NO PLEASE NOT THIS! ANYTHING BUT THIS! I'M DYING! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU CRUEL WOMAN! LET ME OUT OF HERE!

**Mary Frances:** I told you not to test your fate!

* * *

For two hours, we left Erik in there, screaming his head off while being forced to listen to utter crap against his will. Mary Frances and I are back in the kitchen, finishing a tray of deviled eggs, which is our Easter treat of the day. Across the way, Christine is trying to help Raoul wash the dye out of his hair, but much to his dismay, the two colors have only blended together to create a now purple mess of spiky hair!

**Christine:** Oh Raouly, it's just not coming out…

**Raoul:** _***whimpers sadly***_

**Me:** Well, at least you'll both look like freaks together! Christine with her abnormal skin color and Raoul with his purple hair!

**Mary Frances:** Do you think it's about time you let Erik out?

**Me:** Yes, perhaps so… At least he stopped screaming.

I go down the hall and turn the stereo off.

**Me:** Erik, are you ready to come out now and apologize to Raoul?

**Erik:** …yes…

**Me:** Good, let's go. _***leads him back into the kitchen***_

**Mary Frances:** So, Erik, what did you learn today?

**Erik (to Mary Frances):** You were right, it's never a good idea to mess with her…ever.

**Mary Frances:** Oh yes, she'll put you through hell and back, don't doubt it for a second!

**Me:** Here, the deviled eggs are ready! _***offers them to everyone***_

**Christine **_***sitting with Raoul and munching on egg***_**:** Mmm, these are good!

**Me:** Erik…isn't there something you owe to Raoul?

**Erik:**_** *trying his best not to crack up at Raoul's appearance***_ Um, no.

**Me:** Yes, there is.

**Erik:** Not that I'm aware of.

**Me:** Erik, do not play dumb with me! You owe Raoul a sincere apology, and don't act like you don't!

**Erik:** I'll pass.

**Mary Frances:** He's at it again…

**Me:** DO YOU WANT ME TO THROW YOUR BUTT BACK IN THAT CLOSET?

**Erik:** No.

**Me:** Then get over there and apologize!

**Erik:** Fine, I will… _***walks up to Raoul***_ RaFop, I just wanted to say that I'm sor—_***suddenly bursts out laughing and drops on the floor in hysterics***_ Dude…I can't…take you seriously…with your hair!

**Me:** THAT'S IT! _***makes a move to grab Erik***_

**Raoul **_***suddenly very anxious***_**:** Christine? Are you okay?

**Christine:** _***clutching throat, rasping for breath***_ Can't _***rasp***_ breathe! Help _***rasp***_ me!

Her face is quickly turning the same color of a beet!

**Mary Frances:** Oh my God, I think she's having a severe allergic reaction to something!

**Erik:** WHAT? _***jumps up***_ Christine! Don't go into the 'light'!

**Christine:** Funny _***rasp***_ you should _***rasp***_ mention _***rasp***_ a 'light'…

**Raoul:** NO! Christine! Don't die! I need you to protect me from this nutcase here—I mean, I love you!

**Me:** Oh crap! Erik, Raoul, get her in the van! We have to get her to the hospital NOW! Mary Frances, get your inhaler! That should hold her off until we get there! HURRY!

We rush to the hospital (I was driving this time) and get Christine in the emergency room.

**Me **_***as I return to the waiting room where everyone else is sitting***_**:** She's alright, they're giving her an oxygen treatment to help stabilize her breathing and some antihistamines to counter the reaction.

**Erik:** My poor Christine!

**Raoul:** That means she's going to live, right?

**Mary Frances:** No, that means she's dying a slow painful death as we speak! OF COURSE SHE'S GOING TO LIVE!

**Erik:** So what do we do while we wait for them to finish with her?

**Me:** We can read and answer our PhanMail that I brought along with us! _***sits down and pulls out a big bag of letters/reviews***_

**Mary Frances:** Wow! Look at all of these! We better get started!

**Me:** This first one is from Grissrox, or better known as Cori! She says, "**Haha that was great! I loved it! :)**" Thanks, Cori! We're so glad you enjoyed it!

**Mary Frances:** The next one is from EriksNewLove…

**Raoul:** _***gulps***_

**Me:** She says, "**YAY! When's the next get-together? Raoul, next time I WILL murder you for my glasses, each lens costs $50 to replace!**" Haha, wow, Raoul, everyone just wants to kill you! Anyway, I believe the next get-together will be pretty soon, actually! We're going to be having a karaoke sleepover party! Thanks for coming!

**Erik:** Here's Heywhatup's… "**YEAHHHHH I LOVE YOUR CHAPTER! I get to sing YAHHHHH! I got a compliment from ERIK! YAHHH best story EVER! Can I come over again please please please!**" Looks like she was a little jacked up on Easter chocolate when she wrote this…

**Me:** Thanks so much! We're so glad you enjoyed yourself! And of course you can come over again! We're planning on having a karaoke sleepover party soon and we'd love to have you again!

**Raoul:** Captain Phantom Glass' says, "**You know instead of scissors to cut off Erik's shirt, we could have used my 14" Winchester knife I pack around with me. I probably should have told you I'm a mermaid. It's true! I'm part of a club and everything! (My tail is made out of swim fabric.) Thank you so much for having me! It looks like we all had a lot of FUN!**"

**Erik:** _***eyes wide in horror***_ _14" Winchester knife?_ And I thought scissors were scary…

**Me:** Wow! A mermaid! That's so awesome! I want to join that club! Mermaids are my favorite creatures ever! And you're so welcome! It was great to meet you and we definitely had a lot of fun!"

**Mary Frances:** I found Vanessa Osbourne's… "**XD THAT WAS AWESOME! Gah, I guess pretty much every Phangirl there hates me now. Oh well, at least I still have my Salieri and Erique...**

**Erique: *sitting criss-cross, eating a box of croutons.***

**Salieri: *drawing out plans for pwning the N008$ of the world.***

**Me: Ah... That rocked. Thanks for having me. And yes, I should have known you guys would have, eheheh, "discovered" scissors. NICENESSISITY! XD XD XD**"

**Erik:** Okay, seriously, what's with all the 'XD's?

**Me:** They're called emoticons! _***turns back to review***_ Thanks for coming! We're so glad you guys enjoyed yourselves! And I'm sure they don't hate you! Just because you're different doesn't mean you're not AWESOME! Take it from me…

**Erik:** Yeah, take it from her…she goes out dressed like a Goth most of the time and people still seem to like her…after they get over the initial shock of her appearance.

**Me:** _***hits Erik over the head HARD***_

**Erik:** _***cowers***_ But hey, Gothic's beautiful and I personally prefer Goth's, especially if they can sing!

**Mary Frances:** Moving on… MapleRock says, "**Wonderful attention to detail! *thinks of rubbing Gerik down with sun lotion and has a phangasm***

**Erik: Ahem!**

**Me: Oh! Erik! ****Thank you so much for being so very well behaved. *kisses him on cheek***

**Erik: *stupid grin***

**Me: So anyway... VERY amusing. I hope there will be another get together soon. You can sign us up for all of them.**

**PS: Thank you for the HEAVENLY mental image of giving FH Erik a rub down :) *fresh phangasm***"

**Me:** Awww, they are just so cute together!

**Mary Frances:** I know, how adorable!

**Me:**_** *back to review***_ Anyway, thanks so much for coming! We're glad you guys had a good time! And yes, we're planning on having a karaoke sleepover party soon and we would love it if you guys join us for that! And you're welcome for that heavenly mental image! _***wink***_

**Raoul:** And last, but not least, Neverland Child! _***reads her review a bit then hands it to me to read***_

**Me:** Neverland Child says, "***Rolls on the ground laughing like there's no tomorrow* O.M.O.G! THAT WAS SO FUNNY! I love the part when Fire Vein said, just kill me know! That's my sister! And... RAOUL YOU IDIOT! YOU RUINED MY KEYBOARD! AND THAT WAS MY GRANDMA'S!**"

**Raoul:** _***hides in corner***_

**Me:** Oh, don't worry, fop, she can't hurt you over a computer.

Suddenly, the door to the waiting room bursts open and Neverland Child stands there holding a sword with a whole freaking army behind her!

**Neverland Child:** Oh really?

**Raoul:** _***screams like a girl and runs away with Neverland Child on his tail***_

**Neverland Child:** _***swinging sword around wildly***_ YOU STUPID IDIOT!

**Erik & Mary Frances & Me:** _***sitting back in our seats, munching on popcorn and watching amusedly***_

**Fire Vein:** _***watching nervously***_ NEVERLAND CHILD! Don't hurt yourself! We still got to kick Edward's rear-end tonight and you can't miss out! Plus, we have church tomorrow and ballet on Monday! Our teacher will kill me if I come and say you're dead!

**Neverland Child:** _***runs by***_ I DON'T CARE!

**Wild Child:** Well…thanks Erik and Christine (even though you can't hear me because you're in the emergency room at the moment) for singing! I HAD A BLAST!

**Wild Child and Fire Vein:** This is a request from Neverland Child: UPDATE SOON!

**Neverland Child:** _***being dragged out of the waiting room by her sisters***_ OH COME ON! I HAVE TO FINISH HIM OFF! LET ME GO!

**Raoul:** _***collapses on the floor in exhaustion, panting heavily***_ It's…hard…work…being a…fop…

**Me:** Yeah, sure… _***turns back to Neverland Child's review***_ Well, thanks so much for coming you guys! I'm so glad you had a good time! We hope you'll attend our upcoming karaoke sleepover party!

We all look up as a nurse approaches us with a wheelchair containing Christine, who looks good as new now.

**Everyone:** Christine!

**Christine:** Hey guys! Ew, Raoul, get off the floor, that's unsanitary! And don't even think about touching me until you take a shower! Who knows what touched this floor!

**Me (to nurse):** Did you figure out what she's allergic to?

**Nurse:** Yes. As it turns out, she's deathly allergic to mustard!

**Me:** _***hand clamps over mouth***_ Devilled eggs!

**Nurse:** Precisely.

We then head home and spend the rest of our Easter together…just as a dysfunctional family such as our own should!

* * *

**Me:** Yeah, well, everyone else fell asleep while watching TV (not that I'm surprised, we've had a long, crazy day), so I'm the only one here to write this update off… Gosh, you wouldn't ever guess it, but Erik's really heavy…he's leaning against me as I type this…but he smells really good...I should ask him what kind of cologne he wears...and did you know that fops _snore_, like, really loud? Jeeze, I feel bad for Christine... Anyway, I'm sorry I took forever to put this up and that Easter was a few weeks ago, but I hope we made up for it with all the craziness packed into one update! So, anyway, happy Easter! He has risen!


	9. Coming Home to Disaster

_Coming Home to Disaster_

Monday afternoon, Mary Frances and I pull into our driveway after a long day of school. I'm wearing a black T-shirt with large angel wings printed on the back, destroyed jeans, and dark makeup. My voluminous curls flow down to my lower back. Mary Frances is wearing a pastel printed shirt, regular blue jeans, and normal makeup. Her hair is styled in its usual half-up-half-down fashion.

**Me:**_***after parking the car and gathering my school supplies***_ Do you think they were okay in there today? We've never left them alone at home before.

Mary Frances opens her mouth to reply, but out of the blue, Raoul suddenly comes crashing through a window and lands in the front yard!

**Mary Frances (to me):** Does that answer your question?

We hurriedly rush to Raoul's side. Thankfully, with the help of his numerous hair care products, he was able to completely remove all the dye from his hair yesterday.

**Raoul **_***completely unfazed***_**:** Oh hey, you're back!

**Me:** Um, do we even want to _know_ why you just flew through our _window_?

**Raoul:** Oh, the usual: I make a smart remark and I get chucked through a window, simple as that! By the way, you might not want to go in the kitchen for a while…

Our eyes widen in absolute horror at his words and we drag him back into the house, not really knowing what to expect, but expecting the worst nonetheless.

As if our eyes couldn't get any bigger, upon entering the kitchen, we immediately realize why Raoul gave us a fair warning. The whole kitchen is flooded with water and the kitchen sink's faucet is running for no apparent reason (other than to contribute to the flood)! Spooky is marooned on the little dining table, mewing desperately for help. The smoke alarm is ringing loudly overhead and Erik is spraying the alarm with the fire extinguisher, attempting to get it to turn off! Behind him, smoke is rising rapidly off of something that is burning on the stove!

**Raoul:** Told you so!

**Erik:** _***emphasizing each word with a spray of the fire extinguisher***_ WHY-WON'T-THE-DANG-THING-SHUT-THE-HECK-UP?

**Christine (sees us):** Oh, hey guys! You're home!

**Me:** Okay, what in God's holy name is going on in here?

**Christine:** Well, we tried to take care of the house while you were gone!

**Mary Frances:** I say you failed miserably at that! OH MY GOD! GINGER AND LIL' MAN! _***wades over to a large plastic bin containing the puppies, which is hanging from the ceiling by none other than Erik's punjab lasso. She lets the puppies out and they hurriedly swim away.***_

**Me:** "Take care of the house"? Looks more like you destroyed the place! _***wades over to the sink and turns the faucet off***_ I mean, who let the kitchen get like this?

**Raoul:** Uh yeah…that would be me… I was trying to wash the dishes, but couldn't figure out how to turn the water back off…

**Christine:** Yeah! We worked together and figured out who would do what! Like, Raoul would do the dishes, Erik would do the cooking, and I do the laundry!

**Mary Frances:** LAUNDRY? Oh no… _***wades out of kitchen and rushes down the hall to the laundry room with Christine and Raoul***_

**Me:** _***wades over to Erik, snatches extinguisher from him, and puts out the burning food behind him, making the fire alarm stop beeping***_

**Erik:** FINALLY!

**Me:** _***rolls eyes***_ What were you trying to cook anyway?

**Erik:** Pancakes!

**Me:** _***sighs***_ Of course…

Abruptly, we hear multiple shrieks of surprise coming from down the hall.

**Me:** Oh jeeze…

I could only imagine what sight awaited us as Erik and I trudged out of the kitchen and down the hall. We hadn't even reached the laundry room when an enormous rush of soap bubbles came around the corner, automatically sweeping me off my feet. Erik tries to catch me, but I only end up falling down right on top of him.

**Me:** _***blushing furiously***_ Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?

**Erik:** _***also blushing***_ No harm done. Yes, I'm fine, are you okay?

**Me:** Yeah, I'm good…thanks to you. Nice catch!

**Erik:** Nice fall!

**Me:** _***giggle***_

**Erik:** Uhm, would you mind getting off of me now?

**Me:** Oh, sorry! _***blushes again before sliding off of him and standing up***_

We fight our way through the bubbles until we reach the laundry room. Everyone inside is completely covered in bubbles, which are exploding from the laundry machine.

**Me:** Holy crap, Christine! How much laundry detergent did you _use_?

**Christine:** Uhm…all of it?

**Mary Frances:** Is there a reason why the both of you are redder than tomatoes themselves?

**Erik & Me:**_** *hastily***_ No!

Silence falls and we all look at each other, our ridiculous appearances, and the condition of the laundry room before bursting out in hysterical laughter.

**Me:** _***suddenly becomes serious***_ By the way Erik, you're paying for that window!

**Erik:** What? I didn't have anything to do with that window breaking!

**Christine:** Oh, yeah, sorry, that was me… I threw Raoul through it because he said I wasn't doing the laundry right and I got mad at him.

**Me & Mary Frances:** _***facepalm***_

_So…that's what we came home to today after school! And yeaaaah, I think we're just going to go ahead and start homeschooling so that we can keep an eye on those three because that little misadventure today was utterly ridiculous! Well, I better get to cleaning this gigantic mess up…__** By the way, there's still plenty of time to tell us you're attending our Karaoke Slumber Party and submit your own crazy ideas/dialogue/scenes! **__OH MY GOSH, I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT SPOOKY! SHE'S STILL STRANDED ON OUR DINING ROOM TABLE! Anyway, REVIEW, my awesome, fellow Phangirls!_


	10. Renovating

_Renovating_

Wednesday morning, I wake up to the sound of my alarm and make an immediate move to turn it off, but, once again, discover that I'm held in place by Erik's arm, which is coiled around my waist and his face is nuzzled into my curls. I honestly wasn't sure if I should smile, frown, or blush.

**Erik **_***stirs as I switch the alarm off***_**:** Good morning, my dear.

**Me:** _***flatly***_ Good morning.

**Erik:** Is something wrong?

**Me:** Not really…I just realized this is the last time I'm going to wake up next to you.

**Erik:** Oh…well, why do you say that?

**Me:** Because after we finish our schoolwork today, Mary Frances and I are going to help you, Christine, and Raoul decorate and furnish your rooms.

**Erik:** Well, finally! It's going on two weeks since our trip to Bed Bath & Beyond!

**Me:** I know, we just haven't had the time lately. PLUS, we'll be able to show off your finished rooms to the Phangirls when they come over for the **Karaoke Slumber Party** next Friday!

**Erik:** _*** groans in horror***_ OH NO!

**Me:** OH YES! So far, Cori (Grissrox), OprGhst, FromTheDepthOfMyMind, Crash, Izzy (Heywhatup), EriksNewLove, TheTricksterPrincess and her twin sister Nikkibell, MapleRock and her Erik, Neverland Child, and her sisters are all coming! Oh, and so is my awesome new friend, RoseTheHorrorlover (or Tia), along with her Erik from her new story, _'Angel of Doom'_!

**Erik:** Well, since there are going to be so many other Eriks, I guess I'll survive…

**Me:** Exactly, and we will all have a crazy awesome time together! _***sits up***_ Well, I guess we better get up, we have a busy day ahead of us.

**Erik:** Yes, good idea. _***sits up***_ By the way, I have a feeling this won't be the _last_ time we wake up next to each other…

**Me:** _***smirks, but hisses nonetheless***_ _Pervert!_

* * *

So, after school…

Mary Frances and I changed into some old, worn clothes and pulled our hair up into messy buns.

We're now all gathered in Christine's room, pouring the paint into trays and prepping the rolling brushes.

**Mary Frances:** Alright, Erik, I think you're capable of—Christine, why in the world are you wearing a dust mask?

**Christine **_***slightly muffled***_**:** The last thing I need is to inhale stupid paint fumes and permanently damage my lungs and mental health!

**Erik:** _***gasps, hastily grabs a dust mask, and puts it on***_

**Mary Frances:** Okay then… Well, Erik, as I was saying, you are capable of painting your own room. Meanwhile, Lauren and I are going to help Raoul and Christine paint and then start assembling the furniture.

**Erik **_***slightly muffled***_**:** What? Why do I have to work alone? You know I hate being alone!

**Me:** Well…_***sings***_ _learn to be lonely_!

**Mary Frances:** Erik, you lived 20-something years under an opera house without any company whatsoever… I think you'll survive a few hours of painting.

**Me:** How about this, since Erik's room is larger than Christine's and Raoul's rooms put together, after we finish with them, we'll all come in and help you get yours done.

**Erik:** Fine… _***leaves and goes into his room***_

Mary Frances and Raoul go down the hall to Raoul's room and get to painting while I assist Christine.

**Christine **_***while we alternately paint her walls purple and blue***_**:** So I was reading over our recent 'Phanmail' and RoseTheHorrorLover asked why Raoul and I weren't sharing the same room and I can't help but wonder the same thing… I mean, we are married, so why separate us?

**Me:** Let's just say we can't afford any more additions to the family at this time…

**Christine:** Oohhhhhhhh… _***pauses***_ I don't get it…

**Me:** _***facepalm***_

* * *

Meanwhile, in Raoul's room…

**Mary Frances:** You idiot! That wall is supposed to be white, not green! And don't paint outside the blue tape!

**Raoul:** Well, I'm sorry! I've never painted a room before! Who knew it was this complicated!

**Mary Frances:** Just shut up and pay attention to what you're doing!

**Raoul:** Someone's in a poor mood today…

**Mary Frances:** You would be too if you were stuck painting an entire room with a stupid fop who is apparently colorblind!

**Raoul:** AGH! Holy crap, I dripped paint in my hair! _***sprints into his bathroom and takes a shower***_

**Mary Frances **_***muttering continuously while painting***_**:** …I'm going to murder him…I'm going to murder him…I'm going to murder him…

* * *

One hour later…

**Me **_***sets down roller***_**:** Alright! We're done!

**Christine **_***hops up and down excitedly***_**:** YAY! _***high fives me***_ It looks great!

**Me:** I know! Let's let it dry and check up on Mary Frances and Raoul.

**Christine:** Good idea!

We go down the hall to Raoul's room to find Mary Frances finishing the last wall.

**Me:** Hey, how's it going in here?

**Mary Frances **_***sighs and sets roller down***_**:** Just finished…

**Me:** Well, it's looks good!

**Christine:** Um, where's Raoul?

**Mary Frances:** He accidently got paint in his hair and has been in the bathroom ever since.

**Me **_***notices the sound of a hairdryer coming from the bathroom***_**:** Probably applying all of his hair care products…

The hairdryer then stops and Raoul comes out of the bathroom, his hair as shiny and swishy as ever.

**Raoul **_***notices walls, turns to Mary Frances***_**:** Oh hey, you finished!

**Mary Frances **_***tone dripping with sarcasm***_**:** Yes, I did, thanks for all your help!

**Raoul:** You're welcome…um, you missed a spot… _***points to a little area***_

**Mary Frances:** _***approaches Raoul with paint can and dunks it over his head***_ No, YOU missed a spot!

We all then go into Erik's room to see how he's doing…and our jaws instantly drop.

**Me **_***hands jump to mouth***_**:** Oh my gosh, Erik!

**Mary Frances:** Michelangelo much!

Not only had he finished painting his walls, but he had painted a whole freakin' mural on the ceiling above! It was identical to the one from the Opera Populaire!

**Erik **_***looks over at us***_**:** …what?

**Me:** You're done…and you're ceiling…it's just phenomenal!

**Erik:** Oh, that? That's nothing! _***notices Raoul and his appearance***_ What on Earth happened to you?

**Raoul **_***points to Mary Frances***_**:** SHE happened to it…

**Erik:** Figures… What'd you do?

**Raoul:** The usual…

While we wait for the paint to dry, we start constructing their furniture. I'm in Erik's room, helping him put together his four-poster bed while Mary Frances is in Christine's room, assembling her vanity. Raoul is taking another shower.

**Me:** So…are you excited about the karaoke slumber party next Friday?

**Erik:** I'm as far from "excited" as you can get. It's more like "utterly terrified".

**Me:** Well, you better _get_ excited! The Phangirls are all really excited and I'm really excited, too!

**Erik:** If it's anything like the pool party, I don't think I'm going to survive!

**Me:** That sucks for you because by the looks of it, it's actually going to be crazier than the pool party…

**Erik **_***cries and folds hands***_**:** Oh, merciful God, please just kill me now!

**Me:** Oh quit being such a drama king and help me get this bed done!

**Erik:** As a matter of fact, I have a little…erm, project I have in mind, so I'll be back in a bit!

He flees from the room before I can even open my mouth to protest.

2 hours later…

Erik comes back, looking quite satisfied with himself. I've nearly finished assembling all his furniture.

**Me:** There you are! What in the world was it that you had to do?

**Erik:** _***dazedly stares off into space***_

* * *

FLASHBACK (Erik's POV)

**Me:** As a matter of fact, I have a little…erm, project I have in mind, so I'll be back in a bit!

I quickly fled from the room before Lauren could protest. Good thing, too… I'm finding it more and more difficult to disobey her lately.

Perhaps I'm having a change of heart towards solitude? Or am I just afraid of what she is capable of doing to me if I go against her orders?

Whatever the case, I really don't have time for a mental debate right now.

I immediately get to work on my…project…hoping desperately not to be caught. God only knows what kind of punishment I'd be given.

I first went into Lauren's room and pushed her wall mirror aside to reveal a passageway, which was currently under construction by my own doings.

In two hours, I had connected all of the wall mirrors in the house and made one huge passageway inside the walls of the house. I would go and complete my…project…by making one of my own wall mirrors the main entrance, but, of course, Lauren's in there putting my furniture together and the last thing I need is her finding out about my…project…

Speaking of which, I need to get back up there before Lauren starts getting suspicious, if she hasn't already!

* * *

END OF FLASHBACK (Lauren's POV)

**Me:** Erik? Erik! ERIK!

**Erik **_***snaps out of daydream***_**:** Huh? What?

**Me:** _What was it that you were doing for 2 whole hours?_

**Erik **_***stuttering slightly***_**:** Oh, um, nothing…just, um, helping Mary Frances and Christine…

**Me:** Whatever, let's go make some dinner, I'm starving.

**Erik:** I'm right behind you!

* * *

**Me:** Yeah, I highly doubt Erik was "helping Christine and Mary Frances", but I'm too tired to nag him about it after today's activity… At least their rooms are complete and decorated now.

**Erik:** Can I make the announcements now?

**Me:** Yeah, knock yourself out.

**Erik:** YAY! Alright, so, Announcement 1: Mary Frances now has a FanFiction account! Her username is Secret Night Owl and she has her first Phantom of the Opera story posted!

**Me:** It's called "The Weight of Words"! Check it out!

**Erik:** Hey, I'm giving the announcements here!

**Me:** Alright, sorry…jeeze.

**Erik:** Announcement 2: For those of you who haven't heard, the karaoke slumber party is next Friday! So you have until then to tell us you're coming and submit your ideas and all!

**Me:** If you already have, we're soooo glad you guys are coming and can't wait to see you!

**Erik:** _***attempts to pull out punjab lasso, but discovers it missing once again***_ Stupid mongrels!

**Me:** _***smiles***_ Well, review, my lovely Phangirls!


	11. Movie Night

_Movie Night_

It's Friday night (a week before our karaoke slumber party) and the family is gathered in the kitchen.

**Me **_***sitting at the island bar with mathematic books scattered everywhere in front of me***_**:** Ugh! I freakin' hate Geometry!

**Erik **_***sitting next to me, trying to help me understand the lesson***_**:** It's not that difficult, dear. Look at example 2. _***points on page***_ Matrices can only be multiplied if the number of columns in the first matrix is the same as the number of rows of the second matrix, so when multiplying a 4 x 2 matrix and a 2 x 3 matrix, the result is a 4 x 3 matrix.

**Me:** Okay, now repeat that, only this time in English!

**Erik **_***leans back and rubs temples***_**:** You're impossible…

**Me:** Screw this! We've been at it for an hour and a half and I'm just not getting it! _***attempts to slam textbook shut***_

**Erik **_***catches page with his gloved hand***_**:** On no! You're not getting out of this, young lady! You and I will sit here until you've got this lesson down and can recite it backwards in your sleep!

**Me:** _***groans exasperatingly***_ JUST KILL ME!

**Mary Frances **_***stirring pot on stove***_**:** Oh Erik, just give it up for tonight, you both need a breather anyway.

**Erik:** Fine…

**Me:** _***smiles triumphantly and sticks tongue out at him***_

**Raoul **_***sitting in front of the computer with Christine***_**:** What the heck, who's this dude?

**Christine:** I don't know, what's he even supposed to be saying?

**Mary Frances:** Oh for God's sake, will you two get off of Lauren's Facebook?

**Raoul:** Not until I find out who this guy is with his "'Sup cutie? ;)"

**Me:** Um, what's his name?

**Christine:** William? Ring a bell?

**Me:** _***rolls eyes***_ Yes, it rings a dead, broken bell…

**Erik:** What's that supposed to mean?

**Raoul:** _***typing***_ Uhhh, hello?

**Me:** It means that's my ex.

**Erik:** WHAT? You have an EX?

**Me:** Yes, I have an ex!

**Will:** Hey, 'sup?

**Raoul:** _***typing***_ Um, how about you speak English?

**Will:** Lol! Very funny!

**Erik:** So wait, you were in love with this punk?

**Me:** No, not at all! We were barely together for a month and we never hung out in person or even talked on the phone!

**Christine:** Speaking of which, he just asked for your number…

**Raoul:** Should I give it to him?

**Me:** No! That's the last thing I need!

**Erik:** But if you never spent time with him in person, how'd you come to dating him?

**Raoul:** _***typing***_ Sorry, I'd rather not.

**Me:** We just talked…and flirted…through Facebook and email and he just asked me out.

**Will:** What? Why not?

**Erik:** What did you find that was so interesting in him?

**Me:** We just had a lot in common, so I said yes.

**Raoul:** Um, he wants to know why you won't give him your number?

**Me:** Just say that I have too much going on to chat on the phone!

**Raoul:** _***types my reply***_

**Erik:** But you hardly even knew the dude!

**Me:** Well, the night after he asked me out, he actually came to one of me and Mary Frances' performances at our local theatre and that's where I met him for the first time in person.

**Will:** Alright, I understand… You're always so busy!

**Erik:** …so you didn't kiss him?

**Me:** No! We only ever hugged and that was it.

**Raoul:** _***types***_ I know, I'm sorry.

**Erik:** Well, if you were so interested in him, why'd you break up with him?

**Me:** Because I realized it wasn't going to work and I wasn't going to be in a relationship with him for the rest of my life, so what's the point of being with him at all?

**Christine:** He's not even that good-looking!

**Me:** Yeah, but when a guy is flirting with you, cute or not, chances are you're going to flirt back.

**Will:** It's fine, I just miss you so much, Laurie…

**Erik:** But here he is on Facebook, saying he misses you, calling you 'Laurie', and wanting your number?

**Me:** I know. Lately, he's been flirting and literally broke up with his other new girlfriend, hoping we could give the relationship another chance.

**Christine:** Can we say 'desperate'?

**Erik:** And are you considering giving him another chance?

**Me:** No, I'm over him. Jeeze, Erik, why are you so concerned?

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, Erik, why all the questions?

**Erik:** I don't know! I'm just, erm, curious!

**Christine:** I think someone's _jealous_…

**Erik:** Am not!

**Raoul:** Speaking of second chances, guess who's asking for one?

**Erik:** _***pushes Raoul aside and starts typing***_ I'm sorry, but I'm no longer interested in you. I don't mind talking to you as a friend, but please stop asking because I've already given you an answer. _***pauses, then quickly adds***_ Go find some other girl to fancy and flirt with! I have another man now, so just stop! _***exits out of Facebook***_

**Raoul:** Wow…

**Christine:** Nice job, Erik, you sure told him off…

**Me:** …do I even want to know what he said?

**Erik:** Let's just say he won't bother you anymore.

**Raoul:** Well, since we've been forced off Facebook, I think it's time for Plan B: YOUTUBE!

**Christine:** YAY!

They start surfing Youtube while I set the table and Mary Frances continues making dinner.

**Erik **_***peers into pot***_**:** What on Earth is this?

**Mary Frances:** It's dinner, or more formally called Mac n' cheese. It's macaroni noodles with melted cheese. I'm sure you'll like it.

**Erik **_***looks disgusted***_**:** …that sounds revolting… _***suddenly hopeful***_ Can I have pancakes?

Mary Frances sharply raises her ladle to smack him over the head, but is interrupted by Raoul's sudden outburst.

**Raoul:** Whoa! CHRISTINE? What is the meaning of _this_?

**Christine:** Oh my God, what the crap? That looks exactly like me!

The rest of us approach the computer curiously to discover them watching Emmy Rossum's music video for 'Slow Me Down'.

**Mary Frances:** Well…technically, Chris, it is you…

**Christine:** WHAT? I don't get it! It's _me_, but it's also _not me_?

**Me:** It's the actress who plays you in the 2004 movie version of _The Phantom of the Opera_. Her name is Emmy Rossum. So you're basically just based off of her.

**Erik **_***sees Emmy on the white bed***_**:** Mmm…that's hot!

**Me **_***scoffs***_**:** ERIK!

**Erik:** _***evil grin***_ Now who's jealous?

**Me:** _***punches him in the arm***_ Oh shut up!

**Raoul:** So, wait, there's a movie that portrays us and our story…but with different people?

**Me:** Precisely!

**Mary Frances:** I have a brilliant beyond brilliant idea!

**Erik:** No kidding…

**Mary Frances:** Let's have a movie night tonight and watch _The Phantom of the Opera_!

**Christine:** YAY! Movie night!

So after dinner…

**Me **_***comes into den with big bowl***_**:** I got the popcorn! _***sits down on the sofa next to Erik***_

**Mary Frances:** Alright, I'll put the movie in! _***inserts DVD into the DVD player and turns TV on***_

**Erik **_***tries popcorn***_**:** This stuff is weird…

**Christine & Raoul **_***also try popcorn***_**:** You said it!

**Mary Frances:** Alright, quiet, it's starting! _***sits down next to me and Christine***_

The movie starts with the candle magically lighting itself.

**Raoul:** Whoa! That was cool! How'd it do that?

**Erik:** Well, DUH, it was _me_! The candle simply sensed my presence and lit itself in its joy!

**Raoul:** Yeah, keep dreaming…

**Erik:** You want me to chuck you through a window, don't you?

**Me & Mary Frances & Christine:** Shhhhhhh!

Old Raoul gets out of the car.

**Raoul:** Who's the old geezer?

**Me:** Um, that's you…

**Erik:** _***bursts out laughing and falls to the floor in hysterics***_

**Raoul:** BUT MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR'S GONE! THAT CAN'T POSSIBLY BE ME!

**Erik **_***gets up off the floor and sits back down***_**:** Okay…I'm good…

Now inside the opera house.

**Christine:** Holy crap, is that Madame Giry?

**Mary Frances:** Yep!

**Christine:** She looks…great…for her age…I guess…

The auction for the monkey music box between old Raoul and Madame Giry.

**Erik:** _***gasps***_ MY MONKEY! She just LET that stupid, ancient fop HAVE _my_ monkey!

**Me:** Erik, calm down, we know it's your monkey, but we're trying to watch here!

The auctioneer starts talking about the chandelier.

**Raoul:** Okay, seriously, where would someone put a giant, ugly, broken chandelier?

**Erik:** Well, I for one would shove it up your—_***suddenly interrupted by the booming intro note of the overture***_ …wow…

The theatre starts traveling back in time and cleaning itself up.

**Christine:** Oh my God, that's just epic!

**Mary Frances:** I know, it's one of the best scenes out of the whole movie!

Christine and Meg come down the stairs.

**Christine:** IT'S MEEEEE…but then again, it's not really me… This is confusing when you try to think about it…

Raoul is driving his carriage, succeeding (for once…) to look professional and rich.

**Raoul:** Seriously, why does everyone call me a fop? I look absolutely _fabulous_ in this scene!

**Me:** Oh, just wait…you'll see exactly why we call you the fop!

And…cue Carlotta's screeching…

**Erik **_***covers ears***_**:** AGHHHH! MAKE IT STOP!

**Me**_***rubs his arm***_**:** Hang in there, she's almost finished!

Carlotta is owned by the backdrop.

**Erik:** Uh huh, that's what you get, toad!

Carlotta now leaves with her doggy and her boxy.

**Erik:** WELL, FINALLY!

**Christine:** YAY! Now I get to sing!

After 'Think of Me', Erik locks Christine's dressing room door.

**Erik:** Hehehe, sneaky me!

Christine comes out from behind the screen…in her underwear?

**Christine:** AGH! I feel so violated! I'm in my underwear in front of everyone!

**Mary Frances:** Christine, if you were going out to eat with Raoul, why were you dressed in your underwear?

**Christine:** Ummm…

**Mary Frances:** Never mind…

"INCOLENT BOY! THIS SLAVE OF FASHION…"

**Me:** "Slave of fashion"! There you go, fopster! _That_ is why you are the FOP!

**Raoul:** …oh…

Christine rides on the back of the horse as it proceeds down the rampish-thingy-thing.

**Christine:** Seriously, why did I need to ride a horse for _THAT_?

**Erik **_***shrugs***_**:** It was a nice effect…

**Everyone else:** _***facepalm***_

'Music of the Night'

**Erik **_***pokes me***_**:** Umm, Lauren? Is she okay?

**Mary Frances:** Hm? Oh yeah, she's fine, she completely zones out every time we watch this part or she hears the song. It's our absolute favorite.

**Erik:** Ah… _***smirks***_

Christine wakes up, gets out of swan bed, and starts singing.

**Christine:** Hey, where'd my stockings go?

**Erik:** Ummmmmmmm…no comment…

Christine curiously takes Erik's mask off.

**Mary Frances:** Curiosity killed the cat, Chris!

**Christine:** WHAT? NOO! POOR SPOOKY!

Erik goes on a rant about Christine taking his mask off.

**Raoul:** Can we say 'anger management'?

**Erik:** _***fume***_ Not. another. word. fop.

**Raoul:** … _***shuts up***_

'Notes/Prima Donna'

**Erik:** This part is boring! All it consists of is a bunch of idiots singing about disobeying my explicit orders!

'Il Muto'

**Christine:** Yeaaaah…after seeing that dress, I'm thankful they didn't let me play the stupid countess…

**Erik:** But you'd get to actually sing!

**Christine:** Yeah, but it'd make my butt look huge! I mean, look at the size of hers!

**Erik:** …I'd rather not…

"DID I NOT INSTRUCT THAT BOX 5 WAS TO BE KEPT EMPTY?"

**Erik:** Yeah, that's right, morons, be scared because you're all going to DIE! _***pauses***_ Well…not yet anyway…

Carlotta gives her famous croak!

**Erik:** Again, that's what you get, toad!

**Christine:** Crap, now they're going to force me into that hideous thing they call a dress! Thanks a lot, Erik!

Erik murders Joseph Buquet up in the rafters.

**Erik:** 1 down, about God knows how many more to go…

**Raoul:** Again with the anger management…

**Erik:** HEY! The idiot discovered my presence, therefore he had to die! Simple as that!

'All I Ask of You'

**Christine:** Ooooh, I like this scene!

**Raoul:** Why? Because we get to make out?

**Christine:** Well, yeah, _that_ and it's also our love song!

**Raoul:** Hey, why don't we reenact it?

**Christine:** Yeah! _***they start making out along with the movie***_

**Mary Frances **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Nice…

'All I Ask of You Reprise'

**Me **_***sobbing into Erik's chest***_**:** And then she goes and betrays you with a stupid fop! How could she do that to you? _***sob***_

**Christine:** …Lauren, I'm sitting right here…

**Erik (to Mary Frances):** _***patting my back***_ Does she do this every time she watches this scene, too?

**Mary Frances:** Um, no, not usually…

'Maquerade!'

**Christine:** Ooooh! I love this scene, too!

**Raoul:** Because we get to make out again?

**Christine:** NO! All the pretty outfits and colors and dancing and confetti and…okay, yes, and the fact that we get to make out again…

**Me:** FAT SUIT MAN!

**Mary Frances:** THE SUN AND MOON!

**Me:** POMPOM LADY!

**Mary Frances:** BATMAN!

**Me:** EZRA!

**Mary Frances:** SPADES!

**Erik **_***warily***_**:** …are you two okay?

**Me:** Yes, we're fine! We just have special names for all the dancers during this scene and like to call them out as they appear! BUTTERFLY LADY!

**Christine:** HEY! Why am I the only one in pink?

**Mary Frances:** Because it's symbolic! You're supposed to be tinged by the Phantom's spell!

**Christine:** But I don't fit in with everyone else!

**Mary Frances:** That's the point, genius!

Erik arrives at the Masquerade.

**Erik:** I'M BaaaaAAAACK!

**Me:** Red's an amazing color on you…

**Erik:** Why, thank you!

Raoul hops into the trapdoor after Erik steals Christine's ring.

**Christine:** Super Raoul to the rescue!

**Erik **_***scoff***_**:** You wish!

Madame Giry's tale.

**Me **_***crying once again***_**:** How could someone be so cruel and _laugh_ at a poor little guy getting beaten in a cage? It's just so sickening!

**Mary Frances (to Erik):** Yes, she gets easily upset at this part, too…

Raoul is sleeping outside the girls' dormitory.

**Christine:** Raoul, you're the worst watchdog ever!

**Raoul:** Well, sorry, but a man needs his beauty sleep, too!

Christine is walking through the graveyard, singing.

**Mary Frances:** Um, Chris, why would you wear _that_ to visit your father's grave?

**Christine:** I really have no idea…it was just the first black dress I picked out, I guess!

**Me:** Yeah, it's a little low for a trip to a graveyard…but it's an absolutely beautiful outfit, you can't deny that!

Erik and Raoul duel in the graveyard.

**Me & Mary Frances:** WHOO! GO ERIK! That's right, kick that fop's puny butt! MAKE HIM SUFFER!

**Raoul:** …I feel so loved…

Erik is on his back and Raoul kicks his sword out of reach.

**Me:** WHAT? FOUL! HE CHEATED!

**Mary Frances:** Christine, you're the worst ref _ever_!

Christine and Raoul ride away on the white horse.

**Me:** Nice face, Chris!

**Christine:** I couldn't help it! Riding bareback hurts like HECK!

"We have all been blind…"

**Raoul:** SEE! I AM loved! Look at all the people following me!

**Erik:** All I see are a bunch of idiots following another idiot…

The curtain opens and _Don Juan Triumphant_ starts.

**Me:** Sometimes I have a hard time believing you wrote this, Erik…

**Erik:** I think everyone does…

**Christine:** Poor me…I have to sing a hot song with _Piangi_!

**Mary Frances:** Eww!

'Past the Point of No Return'

**Erik **_***suddenly weirded out***_**:** Ummmmmm…Lauren? What are you doing?

**Me:** _***unconsciously starts caressing Erik and nearly climbing on him***_

**Mary Frances:** Uhhhh, yeah, sorry, she loves this song, too…especially your part, as you can see.

Erik starts singing 'All I Ask of You' to Christine up on the bridge.

**Raoul:** YOU STOLE MY SONG!

**Erik:** Does it look like I care?

Christine removes Erik's mask again.

**Me & Mary Frances:** REALLY CHRISTINE?

**Me:** How could you manipulate him right there in front of everyone?

**Christine:** …in all honesty, even I don't know why I did that…

They plunge into the trapdoor in the stage.

**Me:** Um, where, might I ask, did you two land?

**Christine:** I actually blacked out as we were falling…so I have no idea.

The chandelier comes crashing down.

**Erik:** YEAH! That's right, morons! DIE!

**Me:** _***shakes head***_

Raoul falls into the trapdoor and plunges into a chamber of water.

**Mary Frances:** How did you _not_ see that square in the middle of the floor?

**Raoul:** I had to keep my hand at the level of my eye, therefore, my vision was impaired!

**Erik:** So close…so close to drowning that stupid fop!

Christine kisses Erik.

**Christine:** Dang, I really laid a wet one on you, didn't I?

**Erik:** Indeed.

**Raoul:** …well, this is terribly awkward…

"Christine, I love you…"

**Me:** _***crying, once again, into Erik's chest***_ That line just breaks my heart every time I watch this movie! _***sob***_ You admitted your love to her, and then let her go because of that! _***sob***_

**Mary Frances **_***teary-eyed***_**:** _***hugs me and Erik***_

**Erik:** You two are very emotional people…

And back to the graveyard…

**Christine:** WHAT? I DIED?

**Erik:** I DIDN'T DIE?

**Raoul:** PEOPLE! The real crisis is the fact that I'M AN OLD GEEZER! _***notices rose and ring on gravestone***_ Oh hey, there's that ring I gave you, Christine! I wondered where it went…

**Me:** And that is the phenomenal story of _The Phantom of the Opera_!

**Erik:** I'm hungry, can I have pancakes now?

* * *

_And that concludes our first crazy movie night! We can't wait until next Friday when we have our big Karaoke Slumber Party! We're so glad so many of you awesome Phangirls are coming! See you then! We're going to have a BLAST! REVIEW!_


	12. Karaoke Slumber Party!

_Karaoke Slumber Party_

Late Friday afternoon, I'm in my bathroom, trying to get my hair to cooperate with me. I'm dressed in one of my favorite outfits: a black top with fancy, ivory embroidery, dark blue skinny jeans, black strappy heals, and dark makeup. I'm attempting to use a curling iron to perfect my already curly hair, but it just won't do what I want it to.

**Erik **_***comes in and leans against the doorway***_**:** Hey, they're going to be here any minute now.

**Me **_***looks up at him***_**:** Wow, I'm surprised you're not hiding underneath your bed, praying they won't find you!

**Erik:** Me? Hiding under my bed? Nonsense, how childish!

**Me **_***laughs***_**:** Well, you look nice! I'm sure the Phans will be pleased, as they didn't get to see you in your tux and cape at the last get-together.

**Erik:** Yes, well, at the last get-together, they got to see me without a shirt and in a pair of swim trunks…

**Me:** Yeah, they won't get another chance to see you that way until we all go to the beach in a few months.

**Erik:** OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, WOMAN, WHEN WILL YOU EVER GIVE ME A BREAK FROM THESE GIRLS?

**Me:** I said "in a few months", not tomorrow! Jeeze! Besides, I'm sure a few months is plenty of time for you to recover from the damage you'll receive tonight.

**Erik **_***sighs exasperatingly***_**:** Why do you torture me so?

**Me:** Oh, shut up. _***turns back to reflection* **_Ugh, my hair is being so stupid tonight!

**Erik:** Well, I think you look great, and your hair is fine!

**Me:** Thanks… _***smiles***_

**Erik:** Now, stop your fretting and let's get ready to greet all of our guests. _***holds out his hand to me***_

**Me:** _***smiles again, takes his hand, and he leads me out of my room***_

We go out into the driveway where Mary Frances, Christine, and Raoul are all waiting.

**Mary Frances:** Ah, there you are!

**Me:** You guys ready for this?

**Mary Frances & Christine:** Totally!

**Raoul & Erik:** No…

**Christine:** Why not?

**Raoul & Erik:** I'M GONNA DIE!

**Me:** YOU ARE NOT! Well…actually, I take that back, you'll probably die Raoul, but Erik, you're going to be fine! Just let loose and have fun, just like you did at the pool party!

**Mary Frances & Christine **_***point excitedly at the road***_**:** They're here!

Needless to say, the "Official Erik's Phangirls Bus" comes down the road and pulls into our driveway.

Immediately after it parks, the Phangirls begin to file out with their duffle bags slung over their shoulders.

Abruptly, a tall girl with straight, blonde hair and green eyes sprints out of the bus before any of the others.

**Emma:** GET ME OUT OF HERE! She's had four Dr. Peppers since we left! _***hides behind Erik***_

**Erik**_** *gasps excitedly***_**:** DR. PEPPER? AS IN SODA? WHERE?

Then another tall girl with super curly blonde hair and blue eyes literally does a flip out of the bus and lands on her feet before running up to us.

**Nikki **_***speaking really fast***_**:** Hiiiiiiiiiiiii! Have you seen Emma? You know, my twin sister? She looks a lot like me, but with straight hair and green eyes! So have you seen her? Oh, and if you want soda, I brought a ton of it with me! I mean, I drank like four of them on the way here, but there's still plenty of it left, if you want some!

**Me:** Oh, so you're the twins, Nikki and Emma!

**Emma **_***comes out from behind Erik***_**:** Yep! That's us!

**Me:** Well, we're so pleased to meet you two and that you could come to the party! Head on inside and we'll get the party started in just a bit.

**Twins **_***grin excitedly***_**:** Cool, see you inside! _***pick their bags up and head into the house***_

Next, Crash steps off the bus with her bag, which has barrel racers on it, slung over her shoulder. She's 5"7', quite muscular, and really tan with blue green eyes and long, curly, brunette blonde streaked hair. On her feet are FL gator slide sandals.

**Crash **_***rich southern accent***_**:** Hey, y'all, how's it goin'? _***smiles smugly***_ Hey, Erik… _***wink***_

**Erik:** Welcome back, sneaky one!

**Me:** Yes, welcome back, girl! We're so glad you could come!

**Crash:** Thanks, me too! See you inside! Oh hey, where should I put my bag?

**Me:** Oh you can put it in my room. It's down the hall on the left with the double doors.

**Crash:** Alright, cool, thanks. _***heads into the house***_

Then the sisters, Neverland Child, Fire Vein, and Wild Child all exit the bus together with a young boy accompanying them.

**Neverland Child:** We are here!

**Me:** Hey guys! Welcome back! _***notices boy***_ Who's he?

**Neverland Child:** Oh, this is just Lucius. My sisters and I are just looking after him for tonight.

**Lucius:** And you had to bring me here!

**Fire Vein:** Hey! We are doing this for your mother and for your safety!

**Lucius:** Why couldn't I just stay in your closet?

**Neverland Child:** Do you want Commodus to try and kill you again?

**Lucius:** …no…

**Wild Child:** Didn't think so!

**Lucius **_***suddenly thinks of idea***_**:** But Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli could protect me!

**Fire Vein:** But they have a hard time protecting people they don't know.

**Lucius:** Then how come they can protect all those people at Helms Deep and they didn't even know them?

**Wild Child:** That was different!

**Lucius:** Oh just shut up! _***they continue arguing as they walk into the house***_

Next, Cori and Glass come off the bus with their duffle bags.

**Me:** Hey girls! Welcome back!

**Mary Frances:** You ready to karaoke the night away?

**Cori:** Ohhh yeah, I'm so ready!

**Glass:** Yeah, I can't wait! I have done karaoke with my sister before and everyone said we did really good, but my sister isn't here. At least she won't tease me about my "siren" voice.

**Me:** Aw, I'm sure your voice is great! Besides, tonight is all about letting loose and just having a good time!

**Cori:** Well said! _***tackles Erik before following Glass into the house***_

Another Phangirl steps off the bus with her bag. She has blonde hair, blue eyes, and wearing a rather ugly pair of glasses.

**Christine:** Hey, Erik, isn't that your new love?

**Raoul:** _***eyes widen, gulps***_

**Erik:** I don't recognize her…

**EriksNewLove:** That would be because SOMEONE broke my regular pair of glasses and now I'm forced to wear a HIDEOUS pair of grandma glasses! _***gives Raoul a murderous look***_

**Raoul:** _***whimpers, cowers***_

**Me:** Anyway, welcome back, EriksNewLove! We're so glad you could join us!

**EriksNewLove:** Thanks! I can't wait to sing my heart out and murder the fop! _***turns to Raoul***_ I'd advise you to sleep with one eye open 'cause you don't want to know what will happen if you sleep with them both shut! _***walks off into the house***_

**Mary Frances:** Wow, Raoul, looks like you've made a good friend…

Next, Vanessa Osbourne and her companions, Erique Claudin and Salieri, exit the bus with their bags.

**Erik **_***gasps***_**:** MY SAVIOUR IS HERE! _***runs and hugs Vanessa excitedly***_

**Vanessa:** 'Sup, Phantom man?

**Me:** Hey, Vanessa, Erique, and Salieri! Glad to have you guys back!

**Erique Claudin:** Thank you for having us again!

**Salieri:** Y34H, N0085, TH4NK5 4 H4V1N6 U5 84CK! (Yeah, noob, thanks for having us back!)

**Vanessa:** Yeah, what they said… _***points at Erique and Salieri***_

**Me **_***laughs***_**:** Well, we'll see you guys inside in just a minute!

As the trio go into the house, 'Fleeting Hope' Erik steps off the bus and politely assists MapleRock out the bus before picking up their overnight bags. The familiar couple then approaches us excitedly.

**Me:** Hey guys! Welcome back!

**MapleRock:** Thanks! Hey Erik… _***wink***_

**Erik:** Evening, mademoiselle!

**FH Erik:** We haven't even been here one minute and you're already all over him!

**MapleRock:** Aww, I think someone's jealous!

**FH Erik:** What? Erik is no such thing!

**MapleRock:** _***wraps arms around Erik's neck and kisses his cheek, turns back to FH Erik***_ How about now?

**FH Erik:** _***grumbles a barely audible "yes"***_

**MapleRock:** Well, too bad you can't do anything about it because you're carrying everything! _***quickly kisses Erik's cheek again before grabbing FH Erik's hand and leading him towards the house***_ We'll see you guys inside!

Next, Izzy hops out of the bus with her duffle bag.

**Izzy:** I'm heeeere!

**Me:** Hey, girl! Welcome back!

**Izzy:** Thanks! Oh my gosh, I just can't wait to siiiiiiing! Hey fop, what do you want on your gravestone?

**Raoul **_***eyes widen***_**:** _Gravestone?_

**Izzy:** Yep! I was thinking, "Here lies the stupid fop!" or "He died trying to save his hair!" But you better figure it out because you are not going to live through tonight! _***heads into the house***_

Then a new group comes off the bus together. It's Michelle (MelodyHightoppTodd), holding her white bunny, Mephi, in her arms, her Erik, her best friend Xitlaly, and Xitlaly's boyfriend, Alex, from Requiem Mask.

**Michelle:** Hello all!

**Me:** Hey guys! It's great to meet you! We're so glad you all could come!

**Christine:** AWWW! BUNNY! _***rushes forward and pets Mephi***_

**Michelle:** Yep, this is Mephi! I thought it'd be cool if he hung out with Ginger, Lil' Man, and Spooky.

**MHT's Erik:** MOM! Xitlaly's touching me!

**Xitlaly:** NO I'M NOT! Alex, beat him up or something!

**Alex:** I'd rather not, love, not in front of everyone else…

**Michelle:** …yeah, and I was hoping Erik could socialize with other people who are not Xitlaly, Mephi, my creepy brother, and me. You know kids these days…

**MHT's Erik:** HEY! Erik is no such thing!

**Michelle **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Sure thing, hon. _***turns back to us***_ Anyway, we'll see you guys inside!

As they march into the house, a short, fifteen year old girl with long brown hair, brown eyes, and pale skin steps off the bus and immediately approaches us. She has her duffle bag, keyboard, and an awesome camera in hand.

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind:** Greetings!

**Me:** Hey! It's great to meet you!

**Erik:** Oooh, you brought a keyboard!

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind:** Yep! It has an organ thingy on it so you can use it later if you want…but NO FOPS NEAR IT!

**Christine:** Yeah, the last thing we need is a repeat of what happened last time he went near a keyboard.

FromTheDepthOfMyMind walks off into the house. Then, smoke starts emitting from the door of the bus. A girl around the height of 5"5' with brown eyes (complete with a peculiar red tint), straight shoulder length brown hair, and pale skin jumps out and sees us.

**Tia:** OH MY GOD! _***runs to me first***_ Hi! YAY I'M HERE! umm...HI! AHH ERIK GET OVER HERE!

**Erik:** Huh?

**Tia:** Oh, not you angel! Oh, by the way… _***throws her arms around Erik's neck and kisses him full on the mouth***_

Tia's 'Angel of Doom' Erik then comes out of the smoke like some horror movie killer. He is very tall (6"6' to be precise), wears a white, full faced mask, and has black hair and gold eyes.

**AoD Erik ***_**demonic voice***_**:** I SAW THAT!

**Tia **_***looks over at him shyly***_**:** Teehee! Come on, Erik, SAY HI TO THE ONE'S THAT GAVE ME THE INSPERATION OF YOU!

**AoD Erik **_***approaches me, gets on his knee, pulls rose out of nowhere, gives it to me, and finally kisses hand***_**:** _***looks straight into my eyes while saying***_ Bonjour l'amour (Hello, love), it is a pleasure to meet you face to face…

**Me **_***blushes and smiles***_**:** The pleasure's all mine, monsieur…

**Tia **_***pulls a bag out of thin air while AoD Erik is distracting me***_**:** _***whispers***_ Pst! Erik!

**Erik **_***looks over at her***_**:** Hmm?

**Tia:** _***gives him a bag full of soda and chocolate***_

**Erik:** _***eyes automatically widen and hides bag***_

**AoD Erik:** _***finishes saying hello to me, gets up, goes to Erik, and shakes hand* **_Evening Monsieur!

**Erik:** Evening!

**Tia:** OKAY! We're going in now! _***hugs Erik and kisses him on the mouth again before grabbing AoD Erik's hand and pulling him after her while laughing like a Phangirl maniac***_

**Me:** Wait, what about your bags?

**Tia:** _***pops head out of the doorway***_ Oh, I've got someone for that…FOP!

Immediately, AoD Raoul comes running out of bus with bags and puts them in the house before going back to the bus.

**Me:** Well, I guess that's all of them! _***starts back into the house***_

Suddenly, a girl of 5"3' with shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes comes rushing out of the smoke.

**OprGhst:** ERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIK! _***jumps Erik from behind and wraps her arms around his neck and her legs around his back***_

**Erik **_***yelps in fright***_**:** AGHH!

**Me:** Hey OprGhst! Welcome back!

**OprGhst:** Thanks! It's great to see you guys again, especially you, Erik! _***pecks his cheek ecstatically***_

We all head into the house (Erik carrying OprGhst on his back) and find all the Phangirls gathered in the kitchen, chatting and laughing together.

**Me:** Hey, you guys want to see their new, renovated rooms?

**Phangirls:** YEAH! _***follow us up the stairs***_

**Fire Vein:** I'll pass…

**Neverland Child:** Oh come on! _***pulls her up the stairs***_

**Crash:** Shoot, y'all have a nice place!

**Mary Frances:** Thanks!

**Me:** For those who care, the fop's room is in here…

Only Neverland Child, Fire Vein, Wild Child, Lucius, and Cori follow Raoul into his room to check it out.

**Cori:** Hmm, not bad, Raoul.

**Wild Child:** Yeah, it looks good!

**Raoul:** Why, thank you!

**Lucius:** Why can't I have my own room instead of being squished inside your closet?

**Neverland Child:** Because we don't have extra rooms in our house!

**Fire Vein:** And even if we did have one, it wouldn't be fair if only you got your own room and the rest of all the crazy movie characters didn't!

Neverland Child's phone suddenly rings.

**Neverland Child **_***answers***_**:** Ollo? Oh hi! Uh huh, yeah… Come again? _***rolls eyes and sighs***_ Great! Just make sure they stay in the closet and don't come out into the living room! _***hangs up***_

**Fire Vein:** Who was that?

**Neverland Child:** Maximus and Commodus…

**Wild Child:** Are fighting again?

**Neverland Child:** Yup! Don't worry, the guys will take care of it for us.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Phangirls follow me down the hall.

**Christine **_***as we enter her room***_**:** This is my room!

**Glass:** Aww, it's so cute!

**Emma:** Yes, it suits you very well, Christine!

**Nikki **_***hopping around on Christine's bed***_**:** You can say that again!

**Izzy:** The colors are wonderful!

**Christine:** Thank you, thank you!

**Xitlaly & MHT's Erik:** _***join Nikki in jumping on Christine's bed***_

**Michelle:** Xitlaly, Erik, get down from there, that's not your bed!

**EriksNewLove:** Okay, can we see Erik's lair now please?

**OprGhst:** Yeah, that's the only thing I came up here to see anyway!

We lead them back down the hall and into the attic.

**Erik:** Well, here's my lair!

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind:** Wow… _***takes pictures of his décor***_

**Erique Claudin & Vanessa:** How extravagant!

**AoD Erik:** I must say, very well done, Monsieur Erik!

**FH Erik:** Feels like home, only it's up above instead of down below. Very well done!

**Erik:** Thank you, fellow Phantoms!

**Tia **_***admiring lit candles***_**:** Beautiful…

**MapleRock:** Erik, your lair is just so peaceful and calming and amazing!

**FH Erik:** Oh, and my lair isn't?

**MapleRock:** Shhhh! You're disrupting the peacefulness!

**FH Erik:** _***grumbles***_

**Salieri **_***starts blowing out the candles***_**:** PWN T3H N008Y C4ND735! (Pwn the nooby candles!)

Once they finish ogling at the splendor of Erik's lair, we all head back downstairs.

**Me:** Alright, I guess we should get changed into our pajamas and get this party started! Girls, follow me back to my room! Guys, for those of you who are going to change, you can do so up in Erik's lair!

**Phangirls:** _***excitedly follow me and Mary Frances down to my room***_

All the Eriks (except Erique Claudin) and Alex go upstairs. Erique, Salieri, and Lucius stay downstairs in the den. In the lair, FH Erik changes into his black silk pajamas and AoD changes into sleeping boxers and a black T-shirt. The rest of the Eriks decide to stay neutral.

**Alex:** Well, I'm bored.

**Raoul **_***brushing hair***_**:** Yeah, same here.

**FH Erik:** You never realize how entertaining a woman's presence is until it's absent.

**MHT's Erik:** Couldn't have said it better myself!

**AoD Erik:** So…now what?

**Erik **_***grins evilly***_**:** I have an idea…

Meanwhile, down in my room, all of the girls are changing into their pajamas.

**Me (to EriksNewLove, who is putting on her long, flowing, white nightgown):** Oh my gosh, your nightgown is so pretty! I love it! It looks very similar to mine!

**EriksNewLove:** Thanks! Oh, wow, they are very similar! My mom says it goes with my blonde hair and blue eyes! Weird, huh?

I'm about to reply when someone's cell phone starts going off. Nikki, who is now dressed in her pajamas (which are a replica of Megamind's pajamas from the movie, including the slippers), picks up her phone, squeaks, and a blush immediately creeps across her cheekbones.

**OprGhst:** Who is it, Nik?

**Emma (changing into a navy blue tank top and blue cheer shorts):** Oh, it's just her _boyfriend_!

**Nikki:** Shut up, Emma! _***answers phone***_

**Glass **_***from the bathroom while brushing her hair***_**:** Oooh, Nikki's got a man!

**Izzy:** I know someone else who does, too! _***cough***_ _Lauren!_ _***cough***_

**Me **_***blushes***_**:** I do not!

**Izzy:** But you _will_ soon enough! Give it a little time, you'll see! And trust me, if I have anything to do with it, you and Erik will share a kiss or two tonight.

**Me:** _***blushes an even deeper shade of red***_

**Cori (clad in fuzzy, pink, plaid pajama pants and a tank top with the POTO logo on it):** Oooooooh, she likes that idea!

**Michelle (dressed in a black and red nightgown) & Xitlaly (wearing candy stamped pajamas):** Oh wow, look at her cheeks!

**Vanessa:** Come on, guys, lay off! You're embarrassing her! _***turns to me***_ You okay?

**Me:** Oh, I'm fine! Don't worry, they weren't embarrassing me at all, I know they're just playing. But thanks for looking out for me! _***hugs her***_

**Vanessa:** Alright, I would just hate if our hostess was upset in any way! Oh, by the way, I have a song suggestion for you… _***whispers in my ear***_

**Me **_***eyes widen, smiles***_**:** Wow, that's an awesome idea! Thanks!

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind:** _***putting on her 'Defying Gravity' T-shirt***_

**Mary Frances (wearing her Soffe shorts and T-shirt):** Oh my gosh, I love your shirt!

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind:** Thanks! I'm kind of obsessed with Broadway… _***laughs***_

**Mary Frances:** You are not alone!

**Wild Child (sitting on my bed, dressed in a green nightgown with a kitten holding a balloon on it):** Do you think we should call and see if the guys have taken care of everything?

**Fire Vein (wearing baggy, gray pants and a shirt with Pooh Bear on it):** Not a bad idea.

**Neverland Child (clothed in a long, baggy rose shirt and pink pants with black roses): **Might as well, we're going to be way too busy throughout the rest of the night! _***pulls out cell phone and dials***_

**Me (changing into a black, satin and lace nightgown):** Haha, oh my gosh, Tia, our nightgowns are almost identical!

**Tia (also putting on a black satin lingerie dress):** Wow, dude, that's just crazy awesome!

**Christine (wearing a simple white nightgown):** Tia, where'd you get that lovely necklace?

**Tia **_***fondling silver rose necklace***_**:** My Erik gave it to me…

**Christine:** I wish my Raoul would give me jewelry sometimes…

**MapleRock (now clad in black long pants and short sleeved shirt with dio de los muertos skulls and odd semi colon looking pattern on them):** Well, that's what happens when you marry fops!

**Crash (now barefoot and wearing blue and white striped tank top that says 'Desoto High Basketball and Softball' and Betty Boop shorty shorts):** Hey, Lauren, would it be cool if I make y'all Mountain Dew Margaritas? It's pretty much just a Mountain Dew slushy with margarita salt around the rim of the cup. I think it'll really help us get this party on.

**Me:** That sounds amazing! Of course you can!

Suddenly, I begin to hear hushed voices…that are definitely _not_ female?

**MHT's Erik:** Dang…Michelle's nightgown is hot!

**AoD Erik:** If you want hot, take a look at Tia's nightgown…

**Raoul:** I want to see!

**FH Erik:** Quiet down! They'll hear us!

**Erik:** Wow, Lauren's never worn _that_ nightgown before…

**Alex:** Whoa, wait, guys, I think she heard us just now!

I follow the voices until I come to the front of my wall mirror. Suddenly, realization hits me and I push the mirror aside.

**Me:** AHA! BUSTED, YOU PERVS!

**Phangirls:** _***all scream and hide in the bathroom***_

**Eriks and Alex:** _***laugh nervously before taking off back into the dark passageway***_

**Erik:** Um… _***nervous chuckle***_ that nightgown looks fantastic on you? _***smiles sheepishly***_

**Me:** _***raises eyebrow before shutting the mirror in his face***_

**Me **_***goes into the bathroom***_**:** Alright, they're gone!

**Glass:** OH MY GOD! I FEEL SO VIOLATED!

**Emma & Nikki:** STUPID, PERVERTED PHANTOMS!

**Vanessa:** PLEASE tell me Erique and Salieri were not among them!

**Neverland Child:** And Lucius!

**Me:** No, they weren't with them.

**Fire Vein:** Oh thank God!

**MapleRock:** Yeah, at least Erique, Salieri, and Lucius can respect a woman's privacy!

**OprGhst:** Jeeze, you're telling me!

We head out into the kitchen and act like nothing happened. The guys are all in the den, chilling out and also pretending nothing happened.

Crash begins making the Mountain Dew margaritas.

**Me **_***as I get out the margarita cups***_**:** So you girls ready to karaoke the night away?

**Phangirls:** Heck yes!

**FH Erik **_***calls to MapleRock***_**:** Young lady, you are not touching that microphone until you warm up and—

**MapleRock:** And make sure I drink plenty of water, yes, I know, mother!

**Tia:** _***sneaks up and hops into Erik's lap***_

**AoD Erik:** Hey!

**Tia:** But Lauren's Erik is lonely! I need to comfort him!

**AoD Erik:** _***growls and throws punjab at her***_

**Tia:** AUGHHHH! DON'T KILL ME!

**AoD Erik:** Kill you? I'm not going to kill you! This is your new leash! _***evil laugh***_

**Tia:** NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!

**AoD Erik:** _***drags her away from Erik***_

**OprGhst:** _***quickly replaces Tia in Erik's lap***_

**Erik:** Hello, again, de—_***suddenly gets cut off by OprGhst as she kisses him***_

**AoD Erik:** *_**comes back and sits down like nothing happened* **_So how about that weather?

**Erik:** Yes, it's quite enjoyable, actually.

**AoD Erik:** _***suddenly gets tackled by Tia***_ AAAGGGHHH!

**Tia:** MWAH HA HA HA HAH! This is what you get for tying me up!

**AoD Erik:** OKAY, OKAY! I'M SORRY!

**Crash:** Y'all! Margaritas are ready!

**Phangirls:** _***whoop, take a glass each, head down into the den, and take their seats on the couches and/or with their men***_

**Me **_***takes a sip***_**:** Dang, Crash, this is great!

**Crash **_***smiles***_**:** Ain't it?

**Me **_***gives Erik a glass***_**:** Here…just for tonight! I'm in a mood for an insane Phantom.

**Erik:** _***grins excitedly***_

**MapleRock:** _***hands FH Erik a glass and seats herself in his lap with her own drink***_ So who's singing first?

**Tia:** I'll go! _***rushes up to the microphone***_ I'm going to perform a special song that I wrote and composed for none other than Erik!

**Phangirls:** Oooohh!

**AoD Erik **_***scowling***_**:** I thought you had written it for me!

**Tia:** Oh, I did write it for you, Mon Ange…but…uh…OH COME ON! LAUREN'S ERIK IS THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE HERE RIGHT NOW!

**AoD Erik:** _***sighs and grumbles***_

**Tia:** So anyway, does anyone have a keyboard I can play?

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind:** I do! _***sets it up for her then approaches Raoul***_ List here, fop, if you so much as lay a finger on that keyboard, I WILL pickpocket Erik of his lasso and I WILL not stop until you are under a random table somewhere, shivering and begging for forgiveness! Got it?

**Raoul:** _***timidly gives her a thumbs up***_

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind:** Good! _***picks up her camera and starts recording***_

**Tia: **_***begins playing a hauntingly beautiful tune and singing into the microphone***_

Everywhere I go, I'm met with hate  
Someone save me, this can't be how it's supposed to be,  
Lost and shunned, was this always to be my fate?

Do not be blinded by thyself  
Hear my soul, crying out to the world  
No one able to hear my plea  
Angel, please, let your wings be unfurled

Jeering, laughing, screaming, stares

Darkness follows, demons howl  
The voice of an angel calls me out,  
In this dark abyss I hear the cry  
Oh dear soul, bid your sadness goodbye

Come and join us,  
With closed eyes, you shall see  
In you, my sadness is gone, I trust  
See my face, and you'll pay the fee,  
With hatred, for no one, but me.

Oh, angel, for me I ask thee to sing  
Offer your soul over to the music  
Take away the pain with your song my starling…

**Phangirls **_***applaud***_**:** WHOOOOO! TIA! THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!

**Tia **_***takes a bow***_**:** Thank you, thank you!

**Erik **_***looks around OprGhst***_**:** No, thank _you_, dear!

Tia elatedly takes her seat in AoD Erik's lap and he kisses her sweetly.

**AoD Erik **_***whispers in her ear***_**:** Beautiful…

**Tia:** _***blushes deeply***_

Neverland Child then gets up and sings 'Spiralling' by the band, Keane.

**Neverland Child **_***singing***_**:** Ooh, we're tumbling down! We're spiralling! Ooh, tied up to the ground! We're spiralling!

Her younger sister follow suit and Wild Child performs 'The Tip of the Iceberg' by Owl City.

**Wild Child:** I'll travel the sub-zero tundra! I'll brave glaciers and frozen lakes! And that's just the tip of the iceberg! I'll do whatever it takes, to change!

And finally, Fire Vein sings 'Summer Rain' by Hayley Westenra.

**Fire Vein:** You're my summer rain! You're my summer rain! And I know that I'll see you again…

**Me **_***standing beside the couch next to Erik and OprGhst***_** (to the sisters):** Wow, girls! That was extraordinary! 'Summer Rain' is one of my favorite Hayley Westenra songs and 'Tip of the Iceberg' is one of my favorite Owl City songs!

**Sisters:** Thanks!

Vanessa then stands and sings the aria 'Habanera' from the opera, _Carmen_.

**Vanessa:** Love is a gypsy's child, it has never known the law! If you love me not, then I love you! If I love you, you'd best beware!

**Salieri **_***after Vanessa finishes her aria***_**:** 8R4V4! (BRAVA!)

**Erique Claudin:** MAGNIFICA!

**Salieri:** 57UP3ND4! (STUPENDA!)

**Vanessa:** _***bows and laughs as she rejoins her companions on the couch***_

Next, Cori and Raoul perform the first duet of the night, 'What Is This Feeling?' from _Wicked_.

**Both:** What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame, does it have a name? Yeeesss, loathing unadulterated loathing!

**Cori:** For your face!

**Raoul:** Your voice!

**Cori:** Your clothing!

**Raoul **_***suddenly offended***_**:** WHAT?

**Cori **_***hits Raoul over head with microphone***_**:** NEVER BREAK CHARACTER, STUPID!

EriksNewLove steps up to the microphone next and sings her three awesome songs of choice, 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift, 'Breakaway' by Kelly Clarkson, and 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Green Day.

**Phangirls:** WHOOOO!

**Mary Frances:** You actually look like Taylor Swift up there with your blonde hair, blue eyes, and nightgown!

MapleRock receives the microphone from EriksNewLove.

**MapleRock:** Alright, now that I'm finally warmed up… _***shoots a look at FH Erik***_ here it goes!

She sings 'Defying Gravity' from _Wicked_.

**MapleRock:** It's time to try defying gravity! I think I'll try defying gravity! And you can't pull me down!

After she finishes, everyone applauds!

**Phangirls:** FABULOUS!

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind:** Best song EVER! I'll go next!

She sings 'Rolling in the Deep' by Adele and 'Into the West' by Annie Lennox.

**Neverland Child, Fire Vein, and Wild Child:** AHHH! That song is on the 'Lord of the Rings' soundtrack! YAY!

After some persuading, Tia and AoD Erik perform the 1989 version of "Don Juan Triumphant" and "Past the Point of No Return" together in French.

**Me:** If anything can perfect that song, it's the French language!

**Tia:** You got that right!

Next, Crash brings on the country with 'My Kinda Party' by Jason Aldean, 'Alabama' by Cross Canadian Ragweed, 'Only Prettier' by Miranda Lambert, 'Yours to Hold' by Skillet, and 'You Are More' Tenth Avenue North.

**Erik:** YEEHAAHH!

**Me **_***scrutinizes him***_**:** Erik, how many margaritas have you had?

**Erik:** Not enough!

**Emma **_***stands up***_**:** Me next!

She gets up there and performs 'Out Tonight' from Rent, all the while dancing.

Soon enough, everyone's on their feet dancing to the contagious beat!

**Emma:** Let's GO oooowwut tonight! I have to go oooowwut tonight!

**Phangirls **_***after song finishes***_**:** WHOOOOO!

**Erik:** Emma, I must say, for such a bold song and such a shy, yet crazy, girl as yourself, you were wonderful!

**Emma:**_** *blushes a deep crimson***_

Michelle then sings 'Green Finch and Linnet Bird' from _Sweeney Todd_ and after she finishes, does a duet, 'A Little Priest' (also from _Sweeney Todd)_ with her Erik.

**MapleRock:** Dude, we actually brought _Sweeney Todd_, so we can totally watch that later tonight!

**Michelle:** Shweet!

MapleRock and FH Erik perform 'A Little Fall of Rain' from Les Miserables.

By the end of it, everyone is in tears.

**Me **_***wipes eyes with free hand***_**:** Oh my gosh, _***sniff***_ that was beautiful!

**Mary Frances:** I know! Now I'm all depressed!

**Christine:** Hey, I have an idea! How about since there were so many who wanted to sing 'Think of Me', they can all perform it together?

**Nikki:** Yeah! Let's do it!

Christine, Xitlaly, Izzy, Nikki, and Glass all line up and sing 'Think of Me' together.

At the end, Xitlaly ends up missing the last note and Alex starts rolling around on the floor in laugher. Xitlaly, in a fit of rage, grabs a random, conveniently placed teapot and begins hitting him in the head with it.

**Michelle:** …Xitlaly, sometimes I seriously think you're into drugs…

Next, Mary Frances sings 'Don't Cry for Me Argentina' from _Evita_.

**Mary Frances:** Don't cry for me Argentina! The truth is I never left you! All through my wild days, my mad existence, I kept my promise! Don't keep your distance!

**Phangirls:** WHOOO! MARY FRANCES!

**Mary Frances:** Narnie! Come on! Let's do a duet!

**Phangirls:** Yeah! Come on, Lauren! Sing for us!

**Me **_***laughs hesitantly***_**:** Uhm, maybe later…

**Mary Frances:** Lauren, do not make me drag your butt up here! Let's go!

**Phangirls **_***chanting***_**:** Sing! Sing! Sing! Sing! Sing!

They all cheer as I roll my eyes, set my margarita down, and walk up to the microphone.

Mary Frances and I sing 'Unexpected Song' from _Song and Dance_.

**Together:** Now, no matter where I am, no matter what I do, I see your face appearing like an unexpected song, an unexpected song that only we are hearing!

**Phangirls:** _***applaud and cheer***_

**Mary Frances:** And now, Lauren will sing you 'Falling' by Emmy Rossum! _***runs back to the couch and leaves me with the microphone***_

**Izzy:** And we all know who that one goes out to!

**Me **_***blushes***_**: **Where have my senses gone? I lost my way with every touch you intoxicate! Pull me in, stop making my head spin! I'm losing it! Upside down, my feet can't find the ground! My mixed up mind's a blur! I trip on every word 'cause I'm falling, falling fast like I always do! Tell me it won't pass! I've everything to lose! Stop me before I go too far! Go on, go on, keep me falling!

After I finish, the Phangirls cheer and allow me to step away from the microphone.

OprGhst immediately leaps from Erik's lap and sings her song, 'When I Think about Angels' by Jamie O'Neal.

Once I pick my drink back up, Erik pulls me into his now empty lap.

**Erik:** The hostess should not be on her feet! Relax, dear, and enjoy!

**Me:** Well, I'm glad to see you're enjoying yourself. I told you it wasn't going to be bad! Look at all the fun everyone's having!

**OprGhst **_***singing***_**:** When I think about angels, I think about you!

**Erik:** So you're 'falling' for your 'unexpected song', hmm?

**Me **_***blushes again***_**:** Oh, shut up!

**Erik:** You sang beautifully, my dear: don't deny that.

**Me:** Well, thank you… _***smiles***_

After OprGhst finishes her song and everyone applauds, Crash stands back up.

**Crash:** Alright, it's duet time, Mr. Hot Phantom, so get up here!

I slide off Erik's lap and he sings 'Don't You Wanna Stay' by Jason Aldean featuring Kelly Clarkson.

**Crash & Erik:** Don't you wanna stay here a little while? Don't you wanna hold each other tight? Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight? Don't you wanna stay here a little while? We can make forever feel this way! Don't you wanna stay?

Once they finish, MapleRock stands up excitedly.

**MapleRock:** I have an idea now! Why don't all the Eriks sing 'Music of the Night'?

So all of the Eriks line up and sing their most beloved song, each perfect in their own flawless ways.

Then, of course, Christine and Raoul get up and sing 'All I Ask of You'…and then start making out in front of all of us…

**Phangirls:** EWWW! It's even grosser in person! Seriously, they're not even kissing each other's lips!

**Me:** Alright, we have one more request for tonight and it's from Vanessa. Here's me and Erik singing 'People Will Say We're In Love' from '_Oklahoma!_'.

**Together **_***singing***_**:** Don't take my arm too much! Don't keep your hand in mine! Your hand feels so grand in mine! People will say we're in love! Don't dance all night with me till the stars fade from above! They'll see it's alright with me! People will say we're in love!

**Mary Frances:** Well…that's it for the karaoke, I guess!

**MapleRock:** Wait! There's one more we can all sing together! _***plays music***_

**Everyone **_***gasps before starts singing***_**:** Don't stop believin'! Hold on to the feelin'! Streetlights, people! Don't stop believin'! Oh-oh-woah!

**Me:** Hey…where'd Erik go?

Suddenly, Erik whizzes by, grabs the microphone, and tosses his cape aside.

**Erik **_***dancing crazily, starts singing Lady Gaga really fast***_**:** Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face! She's got to love nobody! Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face! She's got to love nobody! P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face!

**Phangirls:** _***rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter***_

**Me:** Wow…I guess those margaritas finally kicked in…

**Tia:** That…and the secret stash of chocolate and soda I gave him!

**Me:** Yep, that'll do it!

**Erik **_***suddenly rips his shirt open, revealing his muscular chest***_**:** I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt! So sexy it hurts!

**Phangirls:** Ooooooowww!

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind:**_** *having a hard time recording him because she's laughing so hard***_

**Me & Mary Frances:**_** *doubled over in laughter***_

**Crash:** _***hurries forward and feels Erik's abs again before stealing a kiss and then taking off screaming ecstatically***_ HECK YEAH!

After a little while, Erik's sugar overload rush finally dies and we all settle down to watch our movies.

The Phangirls and their men are on the couches while MapleRock and FH Erik snuggle together in their sleeping bag. Erik and I sit together on the couch.

**Mary Frances:** Alright, what do you guys want to watch first?

**EriksNewLove:** Let's start off with my second favorite movie, Les Miserables!

So we all watch Les Miserables together.

**OprGhst (after the movie ends):** Oh! I brought the 2003 version of Peter Pan!

**Phangirls:** YAY! We do believe in fairies!

After the movie ends…

**Christine:** Well, what should we watch know?

**Neverland Child:** _***gasps with excitement***_

**Christine:** You have an idea?

**Neverland Child:** Well duh! But, then again, I don't know if you want to watch a bloody R rated movie…

**Wild Child:** Oh no.

**Lucius:** What?

**Wild Child:** She brought…IT!

**Neverland Child:** It's not an 'it', it's an amazing movie!

**Fire Vein:** It's pretty amazing, but just so much blood…

**Erik:** I like the sound of this movie!

**Me:** _***hits him in the arm***_

**Erik:** I mean, what is it?

**Neverland Child & Fire Vein:** GLADIATOR!

**Wild Child & Lucius:** _***faceplam***_

We all watch Gladiator.

**Erik **_***rather overwhelmed***_**:** Well…you were right about the blood…

Once the movie ends, Fire Vein and Neverland Child are crying their eyes out.

**Erik:** Umm…you okay over there?

**Neverland Child:** NO! The good guy died! And so did the cute bad guy!

**Fire Vein:** Yeah… _***realizes what her sister just said about the bad guy and hits her on the head***_ You idiot! You're not supposed to like him!

**Neverland Child: **Then why do you think I pulled him out of the Underworld?

**Fire Vein:** …good point…

And finally, we watch Sweeney Todd!

**Michelle **_***after it ends***_**:** Aaahhh! But…he killed Johnny! _***reaches for another Kleenex***_ Buaaahh!

**Xitlaly:** Don't forget Nellie!

**MHT's Erik **_***pointing to Alex and him***_**:** Ummm, we're still here you know…

**Michelle:** Oh, shut up! You don't understand our physiologic problems with that!

**Xitlaly **_***crying now in Alex's arms***_**:** B-but…he died!

**Alex:** I know, my love, but it's only a movie. The real one is alive, so you can still put me aside for him—wait, no! I didn't mean that!

**Xitlaly:** What the…you're jealous?

**Michelle **_***points to Xitlaly***_**:** You! Slurvish traitor!

**Xitlaly:** What did I do now?

**Michelle:** I don't know!

**MHT's Erik:** At least she didn't forget her boyfriend…

**Michelle:** SHUT UP! You're not my boyfriend.

**MHT's Erik:** But you wish I was.

**Michelle:** I'm not gonna answer that…

**Me:**_** *resting my head on Erik's shoulder***_

**Erik **_***looks down at me***_**:** You look comfortable…

**Me **_***half asleep***_**:** Mmm…that's 'cause I am, love.

**Erik **_***smirks***_**:** 'Love'?

**Me **_***scoffs at him***_**:** Shut up…

**Erik **_***rolls eyes and sighs***_**:** Hmm…where'd you get your nightgown? I've never seen you wear it before.

**Me:** I bought it the other day.

**Erik:** Aw, you bought it for me, didn't you?

**Me:** I did not!

**Erik:** Uh huh, sure… But I must say, it looks…what's the word?...ravishing…on you.

**Me **_***looks up at him***_**:** Really?

**Erik:** Really…

Our faces are so close now. My eyes instinctively close as he leans in and his lips barely touch mine before—

**Izzy:** AHA! I KNEW IT! LAUREN AND ERIK SITTING IN A TREE! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Erik and I jump apart and blush furiously as she continues her song.

**Me **_***starts laughing***_**:** Oh my God, Izzy, shut up! _***throws a random pillow at her***_

**Izzy:** _***catches it and throws it back, but misses and hits Mary Frances square in the head, making everyone gasp***_ Oops!

**Mary Frances **_***picks another pillow***_**:** Oh, it's go time now! _***chucks it at Izzy***_

Suddenly, everyone's on their feet and a massive pillow war breaks out. Everyone's hitting and chucking pillows at each other for no reason…but others have their reasons…

**AoD **_***hits Tia over the head with pillow***_**:** That's for kissing Lauren's Erik! _***hits her again***_ TWICE!

**Tia **_***hits him back***_**:** And that's for being a jealous, controlling Phantom twice!

**Salieri **_***chucking pillows at everyone in sight***_**:** PWN T3H N0085 W17H T3H N008Y P1770W5! (Pwn the noobs with the nooby pillows!)

**Me **_***hits Erik with pillow***_**:** That's for spying on us while we were changing earlier!

**Erik:** Well, this is for…_***pauses***_ I have no idea what this is for… _***flings pillow at me, but I duck***_

At this point, everyone's laughing like loons, but we abruptly stop at the faint sound of snoring. We look over and discover Raoul passed out cold on the couch.

**Me **_***grins evilly***_**:** I think I know what it's time for…

**EriksNewLove:** REVENGE!

The Phangirls immediately get to work on their prank session for the night.

**EriksNewLove:** _***puts Raoul in a diaper***_

**OprGhst:** _***prepares a bowl of warm water***_

**Izzy:** _***steals his strawberry shampoo and conditioner bottles and replaces the contents with maple syrup and chocolate syrup***_

**Crash:** LET'S JUST SHAVE HIS HEAD!

**Nikki & Emma:** NOO!

**Michelle & Xitlaly:** What? Why not?

**Glass:** Don't you want to see him cry when he wakes up and his beloved hair is gone?

**Nikki & Emma:** We're peldaphobic…

**Cori:** Um, what does that mean?

**Nikki & Emma:** We're afraid of bald people.

**Phangirls:** Ohhhhhhh…

**Tia:** Well, then, let's just cut it!

**Phangirls:** _***grab scissors and begin madly cutting the fop's hair***_

**Neverland Child:** _***draws a curly mustache on his upper lip with a sharpie marker***_

**Vanessa & Fire Vein & Wild Child & Christine:** _***applying tons of makeup to his face***_

**EriksNewLove:** _***sticks Raouls hand in the bowl of warm water***_

**Erik **_***sitting on the couch watching in silence***_**:** Good God, these girls are just brutal!

**Other Eriks:** _***nod in agreement***_

**Phangirls:** Yay! We're done!

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind:**_** *snaps a ton of pictures***_

**EriksNewLove:** REVENGE IS SWEET!

**Me:** Well, I guess we should get some sleep… It won't be too much longer before it's morning.

**Phangirls:** _***murmur in agreement before getting their necessities***_

**Xitlaly:** Well, look at this! I only brought two big sleeping bags!

**Michelle **_***with a smile***_**: **So you and my Erik can sleep on the floor!

**Xitlaly:** Michelle…

**Michelle:** Alright, you perv, you get to sleep with Alex!

**Xitlaly:** What? You're the sick perv!

**Michelle:** I meant sleep like close your eyes and go to your happy place while your brain rests. What did you think I meant? _***smirks***_

**Xitlaly:** Oooh, look at the beautiful floor!

**Michelle:** Ha! I knew it! And you mister…_***looks at her Erik***_ dare you try anything funny and you'll never see the sun again!

**MHT's Erik:** Okay…

Suddenly, Spooky, Lil' Man, Ginger, and Mephi all come from downstairs.

**Me:** Oh, hey, guys! I wondered where you all went off to! Looks like you had a good time together, though!

The little animals disperse and curl up with their owners. I pet Spooky as she settles down next to me.

**Tia:** Hmm, that's peculiar…I could have sworn I packed two inflatable mattresses…

**AoD Erik:** Oh, well, I guess we'll just have to share one!

**Tia **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Whatever, I'm too exhausted to care right now… _***lies down on the mattress***_ But I know you had something to do with 'misplacing' them!

**AoD Erik **_***lays down next to her***_**:** I have no idea what you're talking about, dear!

**Tia **_***hisses***_**:** Liar!

**Crash:** _***getting situated on the couch with her camo blanket***_

**MapleRock & FH Erik:** _***snuggling together in their sleeping bag***_

**Emma:** _***gets her bunny pillowpet***_

**Erik (to Emma):** Hmm, that's an interesting pillow.

**Emma:** Thanks, her name is Jellybean.

**The rest of the Phangirls & the other Eriks & Mary Frances & Christine:** _***getting comfortable on the couches***_

**EriksNewLove:** _***trying to tie her hair back with a black ribbon***_

**Erik:** Need a little help, my new love?

**EriksNewLove:** Aw, yeah, thanks.

Just as Erik ties it off, she turns around sharply and steals a kiss before passing out in glee.

**Erik:** Good Lord, they're all _trained_ to do that, aren't they?

**Me **_***lying on the couch, whispers***_**:** Erik…

**Erik **_***approaches***_**:** Yes, dear?

**Me:** I'm cold…

**Erik:** _***sighs and smiles before lying down behind me and snaking his arm around my waist protectively***_ Better?

**Me:** Much…

**Erik **_***softly kisses my cheek***_**:** Goodnight, love…

**Me:** _***smiles before drifting off to sleep***_

2 short hours later…we are all awakened by a shriek of absolute horror!

**Me **_***sits up suddenly, completely delirious***_**:** I SAID I WANTED CAFFEINATED COFFEE, YOU SON OF A—_***realizes where I am***_ Whoa, weird dream… Wait, who screamed?

**Raoul:** I WET MY PANTS!

**Glass **_***sits up***_**:** Trust me, you're worse off than you realize…

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind **_***stifling her laughter***_**:** Yeah, and you probably don't want to look in the mirror…

At her words, Raoul dashes out of the den and into the bathroom down the hall. In a matter of seconds, we hear another shriek and the sound of shattering glass.

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind:** Told you so…

**Cori:** Wow, he actually shattered the mirror with his appearance!

**Izzy:** Therefore, we have succeeded in pranking our beloved fop! _***fistpumps Cori***_

**Raoul:** YOU ALL SUCK! _***runs up the stairs and hops in the shower***_

We all then burst into hysterical laughter, waking Erik up.

**Erik **_***rubs his temples***_**:** Ooooh, my head…

**Me:** Well, that's what happens when you get high off of margaritas, chocolate, and soda all in one night!

**Nikki:** Hey, um, what's for breakfast? Emma's blood sugar is really low at the moment…as you can see… _***points to Emma who is deliriously walking around, nearly running into the wall***_

**Me:** Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you guys! We're actually—

**Erik **_***suddenly interrupts***_**:** DUDE, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

We all look to see Raoul standing there with a towel around his waist and his chopped hair dripping in maple and chocolate syrup.

**Raoul **_***points to his hair***_**:** Very funny! _***goes back upstairs***_

**Me **_***after I finish laughing my butt off***_**:** Anyway, as I was saying, we're actually going out to eat for breakfast! I made a huge reservation at IHOP yesterday night before you guys arrived!

**Phangirls:** YAY!

**Erik:** IHOP?

**Me:** International House Of Pancakes!

**Erik **_***eyes widen excitedly***_**:** LET'S GO!

So after we get ourselves ready (and Raoul finally gets out of the shower), we all climb into the Phangirls' bus and ride off to IHOP.

We all sit together at one long table, all the while receiving many odd stares and looks…

**Mary Frances:** Wow, what a great night!

**Raoul **_***his hair is now clean, but VERY unevenly cut***_**:** …you're kidding, right?

**Phangirls **_***ignores Raoul***_**:** Yeah! It was awesome! We gotta have another get-together soon!

**Me:** Oh yes, we will have another very soon!

**Phangirls:** YAY!

**Raoul:** OH NOOOO!

Once the waitress comes around, everyone orders all-you-can-eat pancakes, but I decide to go neutral and get—

**Me (to waitress):** A Belgium Waffle combo, please!

**Erik **_***gasps***_**:** TRAITOR!

_And that is how our crazy, awesome, hysterical karaoke slumber party went down! I hope you crazy, awesome, hysterical Phangirls had a blast! I know we did…well, except for Raoul…but he'll get over it! Oh, and I sincerely apologize for how freakin' long this turned out to be! This is officially the longest update I've ever written for FanFiction! Anyway, thanks for coming over and partying! We love you all! Don't forget to REVIEW!_


	13. Phantoms Hate Storms

_Phantoms Hate Storms_

**Erik **_***whispering anxiously***_**:** …Lauren…Lauren, wake up…Lauren…

**Me **_***stirs, then jumps and gasps upon seeing a figure***_**:** ERIK! Oh my gosh, don't _do_ that!

I calm down and realize it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm in my bed, wearing my nightgown and my curls are literally all over the place. Spooky is curled up against my back, fast asleep.

**Erik:** I'm sorry for startling you…

**Me **_***sighs***_**:** It's fine, I didn't even hear you come in.

**Erik:** Oh, yeah, um, I'm just awesome like that. _***shoots a quick glance at the mirror to make sure he shut it properly***_

**Me **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Hon, what are you even doing in here? Do you have any idea what time it is?

Before he can reply, a HUGE thunderclap booms overhead and lighting illuminates my room for a split second.

**Erik **_***immediately cowers***_**:** AGH!

**Me **_***eyes wide***_**:** Ohh…I see now…

**Erik **_***starts freaking out***_**:** IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

**Me:** Calm down, Erik, it's just a thunder storm! It's not the end of the world and we are most certainly _not_ going to die!

**Erik:** Well, you try sleeping up in the attic, the only room that uses the actual roof of the house as its ceiling, and see how terrorizing it can be!

The next moment, it starts pouring rain outside. Erik stares at me and I can see a glimmer of hopefulness behind all the fear in his eyes.

**Me:** …fine, you can stay in here for the night…

**Erik **_***visibly relieved***_**:** Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!

I pick Spooky up ("Mew…") and scoot over to the right so that Erik can get in the bed. Spooky, now aware of our guest, stretches and crawls over to me into Erik's lap.

**Me:** I'm guessing, since you lived under an opera house most of your life, you didn't get a lot of thunder storm action?

**Erik **_***petting Spooky***_**:** Never… And now that I'm staying up in the highest point of the house, it's rather, erm, intimidating.

Another crack of thunder and lightning makes both of us jump. A moment later, _hail_ of all things starts falling from the sky and I can hear the faint raps of the cubes as they collide against the roof.

**Me:** Seriously? It's hailing in the middle of May? This is ridiculous!

**Erik:** Trust me, I'm just thankful I'm not up in the attic where I'd have to listen to it at full impact against my ceiling…

**Me:** Yeah, I wouldn't want to be up there either. It's going to be hard enough for me to get back to sleep down here as it is.

**Erik:** Soooo…what do we do now?

**Me:** I don't know… I guess we can just wait until the storm subsides to try to go back to sleep. What do you want to do?

**Erik:** Um…well, I've been rather curious about what this is in your hair… _***picks my little braid out of my curls and examines it***_

**Me:** Oh, that's just my rattail. As you can see, it's a braided section of hair set apart from all the rest. Most of the time, I'll braid a strand of yarn into the braid to add a little color. See, right now, I have white yarn in it…

**Erik **_***still fondling braid***_**:** It's quite different. I've never seen one before.

**Me:** Precisely the reason why I have one. They were more popular back when my mom was a teenager and she actually had one when she was my age, except her braid was longer than the rest of her hair.

Another fierce thunderclap…

**Erik:** _***suddenly pulls my braid in panic, making me automatically scoot closer to him***_

**Me:** Good God, it's really raging out there!

**Erik:** Indeed, it's rather unnerving…

**Spooky:** _***approaches me in search for attention***_

**Me:** _***pets her as she plops down in between me and Erik***_

**Erik **_***joins me in petting Spooky***_**:** She's such a sweet cat…

**Me **_***smiles***_**:** Yes, and she seems to like you a lot, too. A little over two years ago, she just showed up on our doorstep and I took her in.

**Erik:** And how'd you come up with her name?

**Me:** I really don't know…her eyes are the most beautiful emerald color, but the way they just pierce through the darkness is just a little spooky, I guess…

**Erik:** Well, it's very fitting.

**Me:** Well, the storm's quieting down now. I'm going back to sleep.

**Erik:** But I'm wide awake! And how am I to get back to sleep! I need utter silence to fall into slumber!

**Me **_***sighs and lays head down on his chest***_**:** I don't know, sing yourself to sleep or something…

**Erik:** Fine then…_Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation. Darkness stirs and wakes imagination. Silently the senses abandon their defenses. Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendor. Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender…_ _***looks down and realizes I'm already fast asleep with a content smile on my lips***_

He smiles and kisses the top of my head.

**Erik **_***whispers***_**:** Sweet dreams, my dear…

* * *

_And that is how my night went… Yeah, Phantoms are extremely terrified of thunderstorms… I was inspired to write this update up after I woke up at 2:30 in the morning in the middle of a thunder, rain, and hail storm! I know it was short and lame, but it was an update none-the-less, right? Anyway, stay tuned for the next adventure, which will be posted either tomorrow or on Monday! So until next time, au revoir!_


	14. On Hysterical Tides: Movies Misadventure

"_On Hysterical Tides": Movies Misadventure_

The next morning, Mary Frances and I are on the computer in the kitchen when the trio comes in.

**Me:** 'Morning, guys!

**Trio:** Good morning!

**Mary Frances:** There are some doughnuts on the counter if you're hungry.

**Raoul (whose hair is STILL very unevenly cut):** YAY! _***picks up doughnut and devours it***_

**Erik:** _***picks up a doughnut and examines it before taking a bite and nodding approvingly***_

**Christine **_***picks up her doughnut before dropping it in disgust***_**:** EW! They're sticky! There's no way I'm eating this!

**Mary Frances:** Fine, you can eat later then.

**Erik:** What are you two doing over there?

**Me:** We just bought and printed tickets for today's adventure! _***brandishes papers***_

**Raoul:** Oh, we're going somewhere?

**Me:** Well, duh! Why else would I have bought and printed 5 tickets?

**Christine:** When was this decided?

**Mary Frances:** Ehh…since yesterday, but we just didn't say anything.

**Erik:** Well, where are we going?

**Me & Mary Frances:** To the movies!

**Raoul & Christine:** YAY! Fieldtrip!

**Erik:** What are we going to see?

**Me:** 'Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides'!

**Mary Frances:** In 3D!

**Christine:** What the heck does '3D' stand for?

**Me:** It stands for 'three dimensional'.

**Raoul:** And what does that mean?

**Mary Frances:** You'll see!

**Erik:** What's the movie about?

**Me:** Pirates, duh!

**Raoul:** But pirates are scary! What if I get scared?

**Christine:** If it gets too scary for you, I'll cover your eyes, Raouly-Bear!

**Mary Frances:** It shouldn't be too bad, it's rated PG-13.

**Erik:** What does that stand for?

**Me:** Good God, y'all ask a lot of questions!

So about an hour later, we all pile in the minivan and head to the movie theater. I'm driving, with Mary Frances claiming shotgun as usual, Erik and Christine in the second row, and Raoul in the back.

**Raoul:** …so are we there yet?

**Me:** ASK ME THAT AGAIN AND YOU'RE WALKING YOUR BUTT HOME!

**Raoul:** …

On the interstate, we pass an overhead sign that reads 'Spartanburg'…

**Erik **_***suddenly shouts***_**:** THIS…IS…SPARTANBURG!

**Me & Mary Frances:** _***burst out laughing***_

**Christine & Raoul:** …oookay…

**Erik:** …I'm terribly sorry, I have no idea what came over me just now… What's so funny?

**Me **_***still dying from laughter***_**:** Oh, nothing, hon, nothing!

**Raoul:** …are we there yet?

**Me **_***suddenly becomes enraged***_**:** Erik, if you please!

**Erik:** _***immediately turns around in his seat and whacks Raoul in the head***_

**Raoul:** _***is now knocked unconscious***_

We arrive at the theater and park.

**Christine:** Raoul, wake up! We're here!

**Raoul **_***stirs and rubs head***_**:** Oooohh, my head!

**Me:** Yeah, that'll teach you to mess with me, stupid fop!

We go into the theater, give the ticket dude our tickets, and receive our 3D glasses.

**Christine **_***looking around the lobby in awe***_**:** Wow! It's so fancy in here!

**Mary Frances:** I know, this is our favorite movie theater.

**Me:** Erik, did you have to wear the cape? People are staring…

**Erik:** Yes, I did, and they're only staring because they're jealous of my awesomeness!

**Me **_***shakes head before seeing poster of Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow***_**:** Well, hello, Mr. Hot Pirate!

**Erik **_***scrutinizes poster***_**:** Who's that dude?

**Me:** The one and only _Captain_ Jack Sparrow! _***sighs dreamily***_

**Christine:** He's not _that_ good-looking! I mean, his hair is atrocious!

**Me **_***gasps offensively***_**:** I KNOW you did not just say that! His hair is perfect!

**Mary Frances:** Alright, before we get into a long argument over Jack Sparrow's hotness, I'm just going to remind everyone that we're going to the 11:25 showing, so let's get our snacks and drinks and get in there as quick as possible so we can get good seats!

**Me:** Fine… _***turns to Christine***_ Chris, this debate is not over…

**Raoul:** Oh my gosh, what are those? _***points excitedly to the arcade center***_

**Erik:** I don't know, let's go check it out! _***they run off with Christine in tow***_

Mary Frances quickly follows them to make sure they don't get into trouble, leaving me to buy all the food and drinks.

**Me **_***sighs and shakes head***_**:** Kids…what can you do?

**Lady in Line in Front of Me **_***balancing a little boy on her hip***_**:** Yeah, tell me about it. How many do you have?

**Me:** Three.

**Lady in Line in Front of Me:** Aw, how old are they?

**Me:** 30-something, 20-something, and 16. _***smiles***_

**Lady in Line in Front of Me **_***immediately weirded out***_**:** Oh…well, that's…nice… _***hurries away after getting her snacks***_

I get five hotdogs, four sodas, one water (three guesses that that's for…), five different boxes of candy, and a jumbo bucket of popcorn.

**Me **_***approaches the group with big tray of snacks***_**:** Alright, come on, guys, the movie's about to start!

**Christine **_***vigorously playing Pac-Man***_**:** Give me two seconds, I almost beat the high score!

**Erik **_***looses at Stacker***_**:** WHAT? NOOOOO! I LOST AGAIN! YOU _***kicks arcade machine***_ STUPID _***kicks it again***_ PIECE _***kick***_ OF _***kick***_—

**Raoul **_***suddenly runs up to us***_**:** LOOK WHAT I WON! _***holds out of little pink pony figure***_ IT'S MY LITTLE PONY!

**Mary Frances & Me **_***facepalm***_**:** Oh no…

**Raoul **_***cuddles pony***_**:** I love my little pony! _***gasps***_ I'm going to name her 'Pinky Pie'! Because she's pink and she's a cutie pie!

**Christine **_***throws her hands in the air***_**:** OHH YEEEESSSS! I BEAT THE HIGH SCORE! WHOOOO!

We drag them away from the arcade and into the auditorium.

**Erik:** Holy crap, that's a big screen!

**Me:** Keep your voice down, hon. Everyone's trying to watch the stupid previews.

**Mary Frances:** Hey, I see some seats available in the middle! Let's go!

We all sit down and distribute the snacks and drinks.

**Erik:** _***eagerly tastes his drink, but pouts upon realizing I only bought him water***_ Dang it…

**Me **_***whispers harshly***_**:** Shut up and be thankful I got you something to drink!

**Raoul **_***examines his hotdog***_**:** Ummm, what is this thing, dare I ask?

**Christine **_***a little weirded out***_**:** Um, it looks like a—

**Mary Frances:** Guys! Quiet down and put your glasses on! The movie's about to start!

Next to me, Erik is struggling to keep the glasses on his face.

**Me:** Erik, what's wrong?

**Erik:** They won't stay! My stupid mask is in the way!

**Me:** Well, just take it off then.

**Erik:** …you're kidding, right?

**Me:** No, I'm not! It's dark in here and no one can see you! And even if they did, they won't mind! Remember the eye exam and the nice lady? She didn't mind at all either, and I certainly don't mind!

**Erik **_***sighs***_**:** Fine, if you say so… _***hesitantly takes mask off, allowing his 3D glasses to stay put***_

**Me **_***smiles, leans over, and kisses his deformed cheek before whispering***_**:** You are beautiful, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise…

Erik is instantly speechless and I wipe away the single tear that rolls down his cheek.

The moment is lost when Raoul suddenly screams his usual girly-scream as the 3D effects start up.

**Christine:** Oh my God, that is SO cool! _***reaches out to touch the effects***_

So for two hours and seventeen minutes, we sat in the theater and watched the whole movie. We're not going to say anything to spoil it, just in case you haven't seen it yet, but are going to see it soon. We will say that it was a freaking amazing movie, full of laughs and hot Jack Sparrowness… Oh, and we recommend you all see it in 3D because it only made the movie more awesome!

**Me **_***as we're all walking out of the theater***_**:** Wow…that was AWESOME!

**Erik **_***puts mask back on***_**:** I agree! And these glasses are just fascinating!

**Christine:** Alright, Lauren, I'll admit it; Jack Sparrow is hot…but not as hot as that missionary dude!

**Me:** Thank you! And yes, he was a cutie!

**Mary Frances:** You have a thing for guys with ponytails, don't you, Chris?

**Christine:** Yep! Too bad Raouly can't pull his hair into a ponytail anymore…

**Mary Frances:** Were you scared at all, Raoul?

**Raoul:** No, not really! My little Pinky Pie was though, but I covered her eyes! _***smiles, but suddenly frowns***_ Um, here, hold her real quick! _***shoves pony into Mary Frances' hands***_ I'm about to freakin' pee myself! _***runs to the restrooms***_

Suddenly, we hear a bunch of screaming and Raoul comes out of the women's' restroom and embarrassedly goes into the men's restroom.

**Me **_***sighs and shakes head***_**:** Only Raoul…

**Erik:** Hey Lauren, if you had to choose between me and that Jack Sparrow dude, who would you choose?

**Mary Frances & Christine:** _***facepalm***_

**Me:** THAT'S NOT FAIR!

**Erik:** But it's a fair question.

**Me:** You and Jack are two entirely different people from two entirely different worlds! How is that fair?

**Erik:** Just answer the question!

**Me:** Jeeze, now I know how Christine felt!

* * *

_And the argument that follows is completely pointless and continues through the entire car ride home… Anyways, that's how our first trip to the movies went! Pretty messed up, huh? Like I said, the movie was absolutely fantastic and we insist you all go see it if you haven't already! Oh, and thank you to _**MelodyHightoppTodd**_ for submitting the 100__th__ review! We love all you crazy, awesome Phangirls! Stay tuned for the next adventure/update and don't forget to review!_


	15. Memorial Day Madness

_Memorial Day Madness_

Monday morning, I was sleeping soundly in my bedroom…right up until—

**Erik **_***silently comes into my room and hits me over the head with a pillow***_**:** Lauren! Wake up, you lazy woman! It's already 10 o' clock in the morning! Come on, get up! Everybody else is already awake and getting ready to go!

**Me **_***pulls covers over my head, mumbles***_**:** No…I don't wanna… Erik, get out… Let me sleep…

**Erik **_***yanks covers away***_**:** I will not leave until you get out of bed and start getting ready! Don't you remember what today is?

**Me **_***grabs pillow and covers head***_**:** No…nor do I care…

**Erik:** Well, then, allow me to refresh your memory: It's Memorial day and our special guests are joining us at Fr. Frank and Mrs. Hope's party, where we will all swim and eat lunch together!

**Me:** …

He frowns when I don't respond and realizes I've fallen back asleep. He then retreats into the secret passageway behind the mirror and comes back a minute later…WITH AN AIR HORN IN HAND…

**Erik:** _***covers his ears and blows air horn in my direction***_

**Me:** _***shrieks and bolts directly out of bed***_

**Erik:** Uh huh, you're awake now! _***ducks and chuckles as I hurl a pillow at him***_

**Me:** Good God, Erik! Where in the world did you even get one of those things?

**Erik:** Simple: I snuck it into my cart at Bed Bath & Beyond all those weeks ago! I just never had a reason to use it until now!

**Me:** Whatever… _***lays back down***_ Go away and leave me alone…

**Erik:** Come on, we have a big day ahead of us and you're only wasting time! Let's go!

**Me:** I'll pass…

**Erik:** Don't make me drag you out of that bed because you know I will.

**Me:** Don't make me sic Spooky on you because you know I will.

**Erik:** Spooky likes me too much to attack me, you said it yourself!

**Me:** Whatever, I'm too tired to care.

**Erik **_***jumps up and down on the bed***_**:** Well, you shouldn't have been out all weekend, partying like a crazy teenager!

**Me:** I was not 'partying'! Mary Frances and I were celebrating Satin's graduation! She's our best friend, so we wouldn't miss it for the world. We went to the ceremony at the high school, ate dinner, went night swimming with her and her other friends in the middle of a thunderstorm, and then spent the night at Satin's place. Meanwhile, you guys stayed at home and ate all our freakin' junk food!

**Erik **_***stops jumping and sits down next to me***_**:** Indeed, typical weekend for us junk food lovers… But you still hardly got any sleep this weekend, so now you're all cranky!

**Me:** And your point is?

**Erik:** Must I repeat myself? It's Memorial day and we're going swimming at Fr. Frank and Mrs. Hope's with our special guests…who should be here any minute, so get your swimsuit on…before I put it on you myself!

**Me **_***scoffs***_**:** You wouldn't dare!

**Erik **_***smirks***_**:** Oh, really now? You sure about that?

**Me:** Never mind, I'd rather not find out… Just shut up and get out and I'll be out in a minute!

He finally leaves and I stumble around my room, getting myself together.

When I come out into the kitchen, everyone's dressed in their bathing suits. Mary Frances is preparing a dish of beans and onions for today's lunch at the party.

**Mary Frances:** Well look who finally decided to wake up!

**Me:** Shut up, it's been a long weekend…

**Christine**_** *rubbing sunscreen on Raoul's back for him***_**:** Oh hey, you're wearing your glasses for once!

**Me:** Yeah, I can't wear my contacts while swimming, but it's illegal for me to drive without them in, so I'm wearing my glasses instead.

**Raoul:** _***putting sunscreen on Pinky Pie…you know, his 'My Little Pony'?***_

**Erik **_***applying his own sunscreen***_**:** Our special guests have arrived! _***gestures to the little dining table***_

I look over and see Vanessa Osbourne and her companions, Erique Claudin and Salieri, all crowded around the dining table, devouring the cookies that I baked the other day. They are all dressed in bathing suits.

**Me:** Hey guys! Glad you could make it!

**Vanessa & Erique Claudin:** Hey! Thanks for inviting us!

**Salieri:** 600D M04N1N6, N008! (Good morning, noob!)

**Me **_***notices Vanessa's change in appearance***_**:** Oh wow, Vanessa, you got glasses, too?

**Vanessa **_***smiles***_**:** Yep! And don't worry, I'm keeping as far away from the fopster and lawn chairs as I can get today! Can't risk him breaking these…

**Erique Claudin:** And if he did, guess who has to pay for them… _***points to himself and mouths "ME!"***_

**Mary Frances **_***finishes with onions and beans***_**:** Alright, let's get going!

We all pile in the minivan. I'm driving again with Mary Frances in shotgun, Erik and Christine are sitting in the second row, and Vanessa, Erique Claudin, and Salieri are all in the backseat. Raoul is sitting on the floor in between Christine and Erik because we ran out of seats. And, of course, Raoul insisted that we keep Pinky Pie in the cup holder up front with us…

We arrive at the party in a matter of minutes.

**Christine **_***as we park and get out of the car***_**:** Wow, there are a lot of people here…

**Me **_***gets bag of towels out of the trunk***_**:** Yeah, most of them are my aunts, uncles, family friends, and little cousins.

**Raoul **_***starts hopping around in a panic***_**:** OW! OH MY GOD! OW! HELP! OW!

We all rush over to realize he's standing in a huge anthill and his feet are covered in ants!

**Mary Frances:** Oh crap, Raoul! Hurry and jump in the pool NOW!

He obeys and runs, all the while screaming randomly, into the backyard.

Fr. Frank then comes to greet us.

**Fr. Frank:** Hello and welcome!

**Me:** Thanks, Fr. Frank! I hope you don't mind, but we brought the Phantom of the Opera crew along with us. Oh, and this is our friend Vanessa with her companions, Erique Claudin and Salieri.

**Fr. Frank:** Oh, it's no trouble at all! We're so glad you could all join us on this beautiful day!

We go into the backyard. Two giant canopies are set up and all the adults are chilling out together underneath them. All of the kids are swimming and splashing around in the pool.

**Erik **_***suddenly overwhelmed***_**:** Children…

**Erique Claudin:** Kids…

**Erik:** Imps…

**Eriqure Claudin:** So many of them…

**Me:** Just be careful about your masks, we shouldn't take any chances in freaking them out.

**Raoul **_***approaches us, gasping exhaustedly, and collapses on the ground***_**:** Stupid…ants… I…almost…freakin'…drowned…

**Vanessa:** Good thing you didn't because I'm not going to be the one who saves you again!

**Christine:** Raouly, you almost drowned because you forgot your inflatable arm swimmies! You know you can't swim very well! _***sits down at starts blowing his swimmies up for him***_

**Salieri **_***cannonballs off the diving board***_**:** PWN T3H N008Y W473R! (Pwn the nooby water!)

**Vanessa:** How are your feet, fopster?

**Raoul **_***whimpers***_**:** Thanks for reminding me…they feel like they're on fire!

**Christine **_***grimaces at the sight of his swollen feet***_**:** Yeah, they look like it…

Suddenly, my eight year old cousin, Carmen, runs up to us with wide eyes and dripping wet from being in the pool.

**Me:** Oh hey, Carmie!

**Carmen **_***in utter shock***_**:** Is this a dream?

**Me:** Nope, this isn't a dream. Carmen, meet the Phantom of the Opera, Christine, and Raoul!

**Carmen**_** *squeeeeeeeeeee***_**:** _***glomps Erik***_

**Erik:** Oh great…an 8 year old Phangirl…now I've seen everything!

**Me:** Shut up and give her a break! She's a very devoted Phangirl and she hasn't even seen the movie.

**Carmen:** Hey, you guys need to go meet my big sister, Megan. She HATES 'Phantom of the Opera'…

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, I'd love to see her reaction when she realizes the actual characters are swimming in the same pool as her!

With that, they all take off and jump into the pool, leaving me and Vanessa under the canopy together.

**Me:** I don't know about you, but I really don't feel like swimming right now…

**Vanessa:** You just read my mind.

We get glasses of lemonade and watch our crews and the other kids as they swim around the pool.

**Carmen **_***riding on Erik's back, passes by Megan***_**:** Hey, Megan, looks who's here!

**Megan:** _***eyes widen and swims away as fast as she can***_

**Salieri:** _***still pwning the nooby water***_

**Mary Frances:**_** *playing with the toddlers in the shallow end***_

**Erique Claudin:** _***backstroking across the pool***_

**Raoul:** _***being picked on by the other kids because of his swimmies, 'My Little Pony', and stupid looking hair***_

**Christine:** _***smacks all the kids who insult her husband over the head with a pool noodle***_

**Me **_***mutters inaudibly***_**:** Wow, you sure do have a way with kids, Chris… _***sighs and rolls eyes***_

**Vanessa:** And Erique's showing off again… Sometimes I think he's trying to impress me or something…

**Me:** Trust me, I know exactly how you feel, hon…

**Vanessa:** Not to be rude or anything, but have you guys figured out when the next Phangirl get-together is going to be?

**Me:** Oh yes, as a matter of fact, we actually—

**Erik **_***suddenly materializes in front of us with Erique Claudin at his side***_**:** Hey, why aren't you two in the pool?

**Erique Claudin:** Indeed, we're beginning to miss your company!

**Me:** Um, we're good right here in the shade.

**Vanessa:** Yep, what she said.

**Erik & Erique Claudin:**_** *exchange looks before scooping us up into their arms***_

**Vanessa:** _***screaming and fighting Erique to put her down***_

**Me **_***struggling to get free***_**:** Oh my God, Erik, what are you doing? Put me down this instant!

**Erique:** Hush now, you two, you're making quite a scene over nothing!

**Erik:** Oh, and you better hold on tight!

With that, the two Phantoms dash to the pool and jump in together with us in their arms, therefore creating a HUGE splash!

**Everyone else in the pool **_***being pulverized by the waves***_**:** WHOA!

**Me **_***surfaces, still in Erik's arms***_**:** …I'm all wet!

**Erik:** No kidding!

**Vanessa **_***surfaces, still in Erique's arms***_**:** You jerks…

**Erique:** Oh get over it and swim with us!

**Erik **_***lowly in my ear***_**:** You know you want to…

**Me:** _***smirks as I wrap my legs around his waist and he starts swimming backwards with me clinging to him from the front***_

Meanwhile, Erique takes Vanessa and begins instructing her on how to backstroke correctly.

**Me:** So what did you think of Carmen?

**Erik:** Oh, she's a sweetheart. I just can't believe her sister doesn't like 'The Phantom of the Opera'!

**Me:** Yeah, well, that's Megan…she can be rather mean and if her little sister adores something, she has to go against it just to be a jerk.

**Erik **_***shifts me to his back***_**:** See, this isn't so bad, just swimming around. And the water's not even that cold.

**Me:** I know, but it's just crowded…

**Erik:** Oh, so you'd prefer it to just be the two of us then?

**Me **_***splashes him in the face***_**:** Oh shut up and swim…you can be a total creeper sometimes, you know that?

**Erik:** _***chuckles knowingly***_

**Mary Frances **_***approaches us***_**:** Alright, it's my turn for a ride on Mr. Hot Phantom's back!

**Me:** Oh, fine. _***releases Erik, but splashes Mary France playfully***_

I then turn around but nearly run into a little three year old girl with white blonde hair and big blue eyes.

**Me:** Oh! I'm sorry, sweetie, I didn't see you there!

She stares at me for a second before a smile stretches across her cute little face.

**Little Girl **_***giggle***_**:** It's okay!

**Me:** What's your name?

**Little Girl:** Madison and I'm three years old!

**Me:** Aww! I'm Lauren. I'm sixteen years old.

**Madison:** Are you a mommy?

**Me **_***rather taken aback by her question***_**:** Oh, no, I'm not a mommy…yet.

**Madison:** Oh, but you look like a mommy.

**Me:** Aww, thank you, sweetie.

I sit on the steps of the shallow end and keep Madison company while she swims around.

**Erik **_***swims up to us, his back now free from riders***_**:** Oh, who's this little cutie?

**Me:** This is Madison. She's three years old. Isn't she just so adorable?

**Madison **_***turns to me***_**:** Is that man in the mask your husband?

**Me **_***blushes at her question***_**:** Oh, no sweetie, he's not my husband.

**Erik **_***mutters inaudibly***_**:** You wish I was…

**Me:** _***narrows eyes at him***_

As Madison gets out of the pool to re-lotion her face, Erik takes a seat next to me on the steps.

**Erik:** You have a way with children, don't you?

**Me:** What do you mean?

**Erik:** I mean, they just automatically love you and like being around you all the time.

**Me:** Oh…yeah, they do. I guess I just have that motherly aura to me. I love kids and really hope to have my own someday.

**Erik **_***moves a random strand of hair out of my face***_**:** Well, I, for one, think you will be a magnificent mother one day…

**Me **_***smiles and looks over at him***_**:** You think so?

**Erik:** No…I know so.

In the midst of our sweet moment, I notice him eyeing my lips and instinctively begin to lean in…when suddenly, a loud SMACK is heard against the water. We both jump and look up to realize Raoul had attempted to do a belly flop off the diving board!

**Christine:** Raouly! Raouly, are you okay?

**Raoul:** OH MY GOD, I'M DYING!

**Mary Frances:** Ohhhhh, dang, that's gotta HURT!

**Vanessa:** Wow, nice 'belly fop'! Haha, get it? 'Belly fop'!

**Raoul:** Alright, shut up, I get it! Now where was I…oh yeah! OH MY GOD, I'M DYING! THE PAIN! THE PAIN!

A little while later, it's lunch time!

**Erik **_***observes the table***_**:** Okay, what's all this?

**Me:** It's stuff to make your tacos with.

**Erique Claudin **_***starts jumping around excitedly***_**:** YAY! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS!

**Salieri:** 74C05 R 4 N0085! (Tacos are for noobs!)

**Vanessa:** Either you eat the nooby tacos, or starve a slow, painful death! Your choice!

**Raoul:** And what exactly are tacos, dare I ask?

**Mary Frances:** You'll see, they're awesome.

We help them put together their tacos.

**Erik:** What's this? _***gestures to salsa bowl***_

**Me:** Oh, that's salsa. You dip your chips in it. It's really good, try it.

**Erik **_***tries it***_**:** Hmm, not bad, it's actua—OH MY GOD, WHY IS MY MOUTH SUDDENLY ON FIRE?

**Me **_***sarcastically***_**:** Oh no, I didn't realize it was HOT salsa…my bad!

**Erik:** _***now chugging water, all the while shooting me death glares***_

**Mrs. Hope:** Hey, has anyone seen the watermelon bowl?

**Mary Frances:** Wait, the better question is "has anyone seen Christine?"

We all go out onto the porch to eat…and discover Christine with the watermelon bowl!

**Mary Frances:** Um, Chris, aren't you going to get a taco, hon?

**Christine **_***stuffing face with watermelon squares***_**:** Nhope, 'M good wit' dis!

**Me **_***leans toward Erik, mutters***_**:** Taste one of those and make sure it isn't spiked or anything…

He reaches for the bowl, but Christine slaps his hand away.

**Christine **_***guards bowl, snarls***_**:** MINE! _***turns away from us and continues devouring the watermelon***_

**Me:** Oookay then…

**Erik **_***devious smile***_**:** Hey fop, try this stuff. It's called 'salsa'! _***hands him bowl***_

**Raoul:** Oh, alright… _***tries it***_ Wow, that's pretty go—_***suddenly screams like a girl and runs into the house***_ WATER! WATER! NOW! WATER!

**Erik **_***laughing his ass off***_**:** Oh my gosh, that was awesome!

**Me:** Alright, I'd like to take this time to discuss our future plans! _***hits Erik in the arm***_ So shut up and let me talk!

**Erik:** _***shuts up***_

**Me:** Anyway, this coming weekend I signed all of you guys up for Driver's ED.

**Erik:** WHAT?

**Me:** Yes, it's time you three begun training in the arts of driving a vehicle.

**Vanessa:** Well, in that case, we'll be keeping off the sidewalks as of today…

**Me:** And then the following week, we're volunteering and helping out at Vacation Bible School.

**Mary Frances:** But I won't be there.

**Erik:** What? Why not?

**Me:** Vacation Bible School falls on the same week she has tech week for 'Once Upon A Mattress', which is the musical she's in.

**Erik:** Wait, she's in a musical?

**Me:** Yeah, haven't you noticed how she's absent from 6:30-10:30 almost every weeknight?

**Erik:** Well, yes, but why aren't you in the show with her? I know you love theatre and musicals!

**Me:** Trust me, I'd be in it if I could, but it's just bad timing, family wise. My mother is having another baby and is due around the time of the actually shows.

**Erik:** Ahh, I see…

**Me:** But we ARE going to be helping out backstage, ushering, and watching the shows for free. Then my mom's going to have the baby and we're going to welcome my new baby sister!

**Vanessa:** And what about the next Phangirl get-together?

**Me:** Oh yes! We have decided that the next Phangirl get-together is going to be a MASQUERADE BALL!

**Raoul **_***from inside the house***_**:** GOD HAVE MERCY ON ME—Wait, masquerade ball? That doesn't sound so bad…

**Erik:** WHAT? How in the world are we going to host a big, fancy, MASQUERADE BALL…in our HOUSE?

**Me:** That's the thing: we're not going to be at our house!

**Erik:** Then where on Earth are we going to host this thing?

**Me:** At a big fancy place called Buck Ridge Lodge! It's the perfect setting for a romantic ball!

**Erik:** And when is this going to be held?

**Me:** We're scheduled to host it on the 25th of June, which is a Saturday night.

**Erik:** Perfect! More than enough time to prepare an escape plan!

**Me:** Erik, trust me, this isn't going to be like the last two times! This is going to be a civilized dinner and 'dancing the night away' kind of party with ball gowns, drinks, and music. Almost like a dreamy fairytale.

**Erik:** Oh, and then I come in and interrupt it with my "_Why so silent good messieurs?_"

**Me:** No, that won't be necessary…

**Erique **_***snatches Vanessa's tacos from her plate***_**:** All your tacos are belong to me! _***evil laugh***_

* * *

_Yep, that's how our Memorial day went… For anyone who was wondering, Vanessa Osbourne, Erique Claudin, and Salieri are actually our real life neighbors and we spent Memorial day with them._

_So anyway, you heard correctly! The next Phangirl get-together is going to be a fancy, summer Masquerade ball! You all have until June 25__th__ to tell us you're coming. So REVIEW or PM me and describe the ball gown and mask you're going to wear, what you want to do or say, and, if you're bringing a date, what your date will wear! (Don't worry, if you don't bring a date, I can share mine…) There's going to be a fancy dinner, lots of dancing, and…let's face it…romance! Oh, and don't forget craziness!_

_And for those curious ones, you can check out the location for the Masquerade at __**www (dot) buckridge (dot) com**__. Click on 'Events & Retreats' and you can check out some of the pictures from past parties. Hope to see you all there!_

_Until the next update, __ilyen sokáig! (That's Hungarian for __'so long__'...)_


	16. Volunteering at Vacation Bible School

**WARNING:** **THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS INCESSANT AWKWARD SITUATIONS…**

_Volunteering at Vacation Bible School_

It's the week of Vacation Bible School. The family is eating a quick dinner before heading over to the church.

**Erik **_***finishing (you guessed it…) his pancakes***_**:** Wow, those Phangirls know how to keep a Phantom happy…send him pancakes that will last him a whole week!

**Everyone else:** You said it!

**Me **_***gets up and takes everyone's empty plates to the sink***_**:** Alright, come on guys, we better get going. We need to arrive a little early so that we can get signed in and situated.

The trio obediently stands and heads toward the hall.

**Mary Frances:** I'll see you all tomorrow morning. God only knows what time I'll get home tonight…

**Me:** May the force be with you tonight at rehearsal!

**Mary Frances:** And may the force be with you at Vacation Bible School! You're gonna to need it…watching all those children, along with all three of ours on your own!

**Me:** Gosh, you make it sound like it's going to be a living hell! _***picks up bag and keys, waves at her before following them down the hall***_

**Erik **_***blocks the garage doorway so that I cannot pass***_**:** What say you about letting me drive us?

**Me **_***smirks and hands him the keys***_**:** Fine, since you've finally had your Driver's Ed. and training…but if I see one instance of a certain 'light', you're never driving again!

**Raoul **_***jokes as Erik and I get into the van***_**:** Ohh snap Christine, we better hurry and write our wills out, Erik's got the keys!

**Erik **_***starts up the engine, then snarls at Raoul***_**:** If I wasn't behind the wheel right now, you'd be unconscious…

To my surprise, he drives us to the church and never once swerved off the road or into the opposite lane or hit anything!

**Me:** Wow…I'm officially impressed! You've turned out to be a better driver than I am! Those Driver's Ed. classes really worked!

**Raoul **_***hops out of the van***_**:** Well, surprise, surprise, we didn't die!

**Erik **_***punches Raoul square in the nose, growls***_**:** You just don't know when to quit, do you?

**Raoul **_***covers nose with hands***_**:** OH MY GOD, I'M BLEEDING!

**Christine:** ERIK! YOU PROBABLY JUST BROKE HIS NOSE FOR GOD'S SAKE!

**Erik:** Better than strangling him to death with my Punjab!

**Me:** Good God, we haven't even gone inside yet and everything's already in chaos! Raoul, here's a tissue. Christine, calm down. Erik, please tell me you left the noose home!

**Erik:** Yes, I left it home, why else do you think the fopster is still standing?

We all go inside the parish hall and sign in. Raoul goes into the bathroom to clean up his face.

**Me:** Alright, I got our T-shirts and nametags.

**Christine **_***puts shirt on over her dress***_**:** Oh, cool! And now everyone will know who I am!

**Erik **_***hold out shirt***_**:** You're kidding, right? I'm supposed to wear this?

It's only a plain white T-shirt with the VBS logo on the front.

**Me **_***putting my own shirt on over my original black one***_**:** Yes, you're volunteering, so you have to look professional!

**Erik:** But I'll look ridiculous! Phantoms don't wear T-shirts!

**Me **_***snatches shirt from him and forces it over his head***_**:** Well, they do now! And it's pretty much impossible for you of all people to look ridiculous!

**Christine:** …you're kidding, right?

**Me **_***suddenly remembers what she's referring to***_**:** Oh wait, you're right! Never mind, Erik, I take that back!

**Erik:** Don't remind me…what are we volunteering to do anyway?

**Me:** Oh, well, Christine is going to be helping out in the arts and crafts room. Raoul is going to be helping out and painting the mural over there on that wall…

**Raoul **_***comes in with a clean, unbloody nose***_**:** I'm doing WHAT?

**Me **_***gives him T-shirt and nametag***_**:** You're going to be painting a wall! I figured that was the easiest job for you to work on!

**Raoul:** Do you remember what happened the last time I attempted to paint something? I ended up with a bucket of paint dumped over my head!

**Me:** Yeah, well, that was Mary France's doings, but she isn't here, so I expect you're pretty safe.

**Raoul:** Can Pinkie Pie help? _***holds pony up***_

**Me:** Sure, whatever.

The kids are now all gathering and listening to what their projects are for the day.

**Me:** Alright, we better get to our stations; they're almost ready to start!

I head out of the hall and Erik immediately follows. We go down the hallway and into the designated classroom.

**Erik:** Wait, what am I to do?

**Me:** Oh, you and I are going to be teaching the 1st and 2nd graders songs in here!

**Erik **_***eyes widen, then groans***_**:** …God, help me…

**Me **_***sits down and gets everything in order***_**:** Oh come on, they're really cute and love to learn new things! It'll be fun!

**Erik:** …they don't…bite or anything, do they?

**Me **_***giggles at his anxiety***_**:** No, not usually.

**Erik:** So how are we going to be teaching these little imps?

**Me:** I'm just going to go with the flow. I mean, it's just going to be me, you, and the kids, so how hard can it be? We have to help them learn the lyrics, the rhythm, and some little motions to go along with the song. Just be really enthusiastic and confident and that'll help them feel more comfortable.

**Erik:** Me? Enthusiastic? With children? You're kidding, right?

**Me **_***stands up and pulls curls back into a messy bun***_**:** Just wait and see. I'm sure the kids will love you!

**Erik:** Um, you probably shouldn't have worn those shorts…

**Me **_***looks down at jean shorts***_**:** Why do you say that?

**Erik:** First off, they're falling apart at the seams… Second off, there are two holes on the back of them and I can see your… _***trails off***_

**Me:** First off, they're falling apart because they actually belonged to my mom, so many years ago! Second o—wait a minute, what are you doing looking at my butt in the first place?

**Erik:** The better question is, "why can I see your butt?" _***lowers voice suggestively***_ Are you not wearing underwear?

**Me:** Of course I'm wearing underwear, you perv! For your information, it's called a tho— _***stops embarrassedly***_

**Erik **_***raises eyebrows, cracks a smile***_**:** You're wearing a thong?

Just then, the 1st and 2nd graders shyly come into the room. Thankful for the interruption, I immediately walk around Erik and usher them inside.

**Me:** Hi, guys! Come on in and sit down.

After they get settled in, Erik and I stand in front of them

**Me:** Alright, well, I'm Lauren and this is Erik. We're going to be your music teachers. Do you guys like to sing?

A mix of both "yes!" and "no!" were their replies.

**Me:** Erik and I both love to sing! Do you like to dance?

Again, the replies were mixed.

**Me:** Well, that's what we're going to be doing today! Now, do you guys know the song 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat?'

**Kids:** Yes!

**Erik:** No!

His single reply made all of the children laugh out loud.

**Me:** Dude, how do you not know the 'Row Your Boat' song?

**Erik:** _***shrug***_

**Me:** Well then, I guess we should sing the song for Mr. Naïve over here! What do you guys think?

**Kids:** Yeah!

**Me & Kids **_***singing***_**:** Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream! Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream!

**Me **_***turns to Erik***_**:** So, what'd you think?

**Erik:** …that was the dumbest song I have ever heard!

Again, the children seemed to love his retort and laughed with glee. Erik himself could not help but crack a smile at them.

**Me:** Okay, then… Well, the song that we're going to be learning today is in the same rhythm as the 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat', but with different lyrics. Here, let's listen to it.

I play the song on the CD player.

**Song:** Love, love, love the Lord with your heart and soul! All of your heart, and your mind, and your strength, he will make you whole!

We teach them the lyrics and the movements they are to express throughout the song.

After we finish with them, they all leave for their next activity…but not before tackling Erik with hugs!

**Erik **_***rather astounded***_**:** They actually liked me!

**Me **_***gathering things***_**:** Told you so!

**Erik:** So, wait, we're done for the night?

**Me:** Yep, we just have to hang around until Christine and Raoul finish up. In the meantime, we'll just have to entertain ourselves and avoid the adults so they don't put us to work or anything.

**Erik:** Sounds like a plan.

**Me **_***holds out bag***_**:** Here, can you carry my bag? My shoulder and neck kinda hurt today and I don't feel like carrying it around…

**Erik **_***takes it and slings it over his shoulder***_**:** Of course. So now what are we going to do with all this time to kill?

**Me:** I have an idea, but we're going to have to be super sneaky about it.

**Erik:** Ah, one of my best skills!

I stick my head out of the classroom and look up and down the hallway.

**Me:** The coast is clear…

We make a mad dash down the hall, break into the main office, and steal the keys.

**Me:** Got 'em!

**Erik:** Now what are we going to do with them?

**Me:** No idea, but we'll figure something out now that we have them…

Suddenly, we hear someone coming into the office!

**Me:** Oh shiz! Quick, get in here!

We run and cram ourselves in a little closet.

**Erik **_***pressed up against me***_**:** Well…this is rather awkward…

**Me **_***swiftly covers his mouth***_**:** Shhhhhh! _***whispers***_ You're not claustrophobic, are you?

**Erik **_***whispers back***_**:** No, not in the slightest.

**Me:** Then shut up!

I turn around and peer through the keyhole. Meanwhile, Erik is behind me, trying to get into a more comfortable position…but loses his balance and is forced to catch himself…by grabbing a hold of my butt…

**Me:** Alright, I think they're gone—HEY! Watch where you put those hands!

**Erik **_***quickly removes hands, holding back his laugher***_**:** I'm terribly sorry!

**Me:** No, you're not. I can practically hear you smiling!

**Erik **_***cheekily***_**:** You're right, I'm not sorry!

**Me:** See, this is why you are specifically 'partners in crime' with Mary Frances and not me!

**Erik:** Then what are you and I if we are not 'partners in crime'?

**Me:** I really don't feel like answering that question right now. Now come on, we need to get out of here before they come back!

I turn the knob, but the door refuses to open!

**Me:** Oh no…

**Erik:** What's wrong?

**Me:** Obviously, the door's stuck! Otherwise, it wouldn't still be shut!

We both put our full weight on the door and it bursts open, causing us to instantly tumble from the closet. I land roughly on my back…and then Erik falls directly down on top of me!

**Me **_***pinned down by Erik's weight***_**:** OW! Oh my God! Erik!

**Erik **_***seems amused, looks down at me***_**:** Well…as if things couldn't get any more awkward…

**Me **_***blushes deeply, grabs a random book, and whacks him over the head***_**:** YOU STUPID, PERVERTED PHANTOM!

He only laughs as I continue to hit him and try to get free. Then we hear someone coming back towards the office again!

**Me:** Oh my God, they're coming back!

Erik immediately shuts up, slides off me, and helps me up, but I slip on a fallen bulletin board and collide right into him! He automatically loses balance and knocks over the desk, which causes the chair to go right through the window, sending glass shards flying everywhere! Meanwhile, Erik lands on _his_ back and I fall right on top of _him_!

**Erik **_***smirks saucily, his arms wrapped around me protectively***_**:** Well, hello again!

**Me:** How in God's name can you be so humored at a time like this? Just look at the office! It's ruined!

**Erik:** In case you haven't noticed, we're not in the best condition either…

Just then, another VBS volunteer dude comes into the office, but stops dead in his tracks upon seeing Erik and I on the floor together and the destroyed office.

**Volunteer Dude**_***startled***_**:** What's going on in here?

**Me **_***jumps off of Erik and embarrassedly helps him up***_**:** ¡No hablan inglés! ¡No hablan inglés!

**Volunteer Dude:** ¿Oh, que paso?

Erik and I look at each other with wide eyes, realizing the volunteer is bilingual!

**Me:** RUUUUUUN!

We make our great escape through the now shattered window!

**Erik **_***running alongside me***_**:** Might I ask where we're running to?

**Me:** The car! Now hurry! OH MY GOD! They're right behind us!

We make it to the parking lot, but with a group of angry adults still chasing us!

**Erik:** _***jumps into the driver's seat of the van and starts the car***_

**Me **_***hops into shotgun***_**:** FLOOR IT!

He slams his foot down on the gas pedal and we speed out of the parking lot!

After driving around for a minute, we both burst into utter hysterics.

**Me **_***sighs after a minute of nonstop laughter***_**:** Wow…that was a close one!

**Erik:** Very close. But hysterical none the less!

**Me:** Yeah…I need a drink…

**Erik:** Unfortunately, my dear, the local bar is not yet open and I have no alcohol with me at the moment.

**Me:** I did not mean I needed an _alcoholic_ drink! And for your information, I wouldn't even be allowed in a bar!

**Erik:** Then where do you suppose we go?

I direct him to one of my favorite drive-thru fast food restaurants called Cook Out.

**Erik:** Cook Out? What's so special about this place?

**Me:** They have the best ice cream milkshakes in the whole town!

**Erik:** I'm afraid I've never had ice cream before…

**Me **_***gasps offensively***_**:** What? I must enlighten you then! Check out the menu and pick a flavor!

**Erik:** Oh, do they have a pancake flavor?

**Me:** Ew, no!

**Erik:** Well, what flavor are you getting?

**Me:** Oreo. It's one of my very favorites.

**Erik:** Hmm…good Lord, there are far too many to choose from!

**Me:** I know, that was my reaction when I came here for the first time! 40 flavors is a lot to choose from!

**Erik:** You're dang right! Help me!

**Me:** Hmm…well, I recommend you try something simple, like vanilla or chocolate.

**Erik:** Fine, chocolate it is.

We order our ice cream milkshakes. Since the window is on my side, I hand the cashier the money…with some difficulty…

**Me **_***practically leaning out of the car window to hand the cashier the money***_**:** Okay seriously, could you have stopped any farther away from the window, Erik?

**Erik:** Eh, only two more inches and then I would have hit the curb…

**Me:** _***rolls eyes***_

After I receive our milkshakes, we park and begin eating them in the car with the radio playing our favorite Broadway show tunes.

**Erik:** Wow, this stuff is amazing!

**Me:** Even better than pancakes?

**Erik:** Are you kidding? Nothing's better than a plate of pancakes!

**Me:** _***sighs and shakes head***_

**Erik:** So what about Christine and the fop? They're still at Vacation Bible School.

**Me:** Eh, don't worry, we'll get them at 8:30 when VBS ends… God, I don't think I'm going to be able to show my face at that church again!

**Erik:** Oh, by the way, your pants ripped again in the middle of our, um, stumbles.

**Me:** WHAT?

I look and discover that indeed another rip had occurred, revealing even more of my bottom _and_ my underwear!

**Me:** _***gives Erik a murderous death glare***_

**Erik:** Uhm…you have a cute butt? _***smiles sheepishly***_

* * *

_So…yeah, as you can see: Me + Erik + Time to Kill = TROUBLE, CHAOS, HYSTERICS, AND CONTINUOUS AWKWARD MOMENTS!_

_Anyway, I'm sorry for taking forever to update… I had hoped to post this last week, but never got a chance, due to everything going on in my hectic life!_

_We are so amazed at how many of you awesome Phangirls are coming to our Masquerade ball! This is going to be quite a get-together! We just can't wait to see you all in your lovely gowns and masks!_

_I hope you enjoyed this ridiculous and crazy update! Don't forget to REVIEW! We love you all!_


	17. A Broken Friday Night

_A Broken Friday Night_

It's the opening night of 'Once Upon a Mattress'. Mary Frances has already left the house for the theatre to get ready. I'm in my bathroom, having just finished straightening my hair and now applying my makeup.

I turn my back for one second…when someone suddenly comes out of nowhere, jumps me, and a rope is thrown around my neck!

**Erik **_***holding me down and gripping his Punjab***_**:** ALRIGHT! WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN LAUREN'S BATHROOM?

**Me **_***gasping in shock***_**:** ERIK! It's me! It's Lauren!

**Erik:** DO NOT LIE TO ME, IMPOSTER! LAUREN HAS CURLY HAIR LIKE CHRISTINE'S!

**Me:** OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, ERIK, I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR WITH THAT THING! _***points to flatiron on the vanity***_

**Erik:** THAT IS OF NO PROOF TO ME WHETHER YOU ARE LAUREN OR NOT!

I hurriedly embark on the one action that is bound to save my life!

**Me:** _***tears his mask away, grabs him by the collar, and passionately kisses him***_

**Erik **_***relaxes, suddenly speechless***_**:** Yeah, you're Lauren… _***releases me and puts his mask back on***_

**Me **_***sighs and rolls eyes***_**:** Good God, you came this close to murdering me, you know that?

**Erik:** I'm terribly sorry, my dear. You just look so different without your curls…

**Me:** It's fine, just don't do it again, please.

Raoul then bursts into the bathroom.

**Raoul:** What was going on down here? I heard a ton of screaming! _***pauses and looks at me skeptically***_ Who are you, might I ask?

**Me:** Oh for God's sake…it's me, Lauren, you dumb fop!

**Raoul **_***realizes his mistake***_**:** I _so_ knew that!

**Erik:** You are a terrible liar, did you know that?

Raoul then accidently treads on the cord of my flatiron, causing it to fly right off the vanity and come crashing to the floor! One of the irons pops out of place and an important piece cracks completely off, therefore leaving the straightener useless.

**Me **_***gasps in horror***_**:** OH MY GOD! YOU BROKE MY STRAIGHTENER!

**Raoul:** I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I swear!

**Me:** MY $127 CHI STRAIGHTENER! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!

**Erik (to Raoul):** I'd advise you to run…

Raoul actually takes the advice and sprints out of the bathroom as fast as he can.

**Me **_***mercilessly chases after him***_**:** YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW! I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

I continue chasing him all around the house for five straight minutes, knocking stuff over and making a complete mess of the place. Meanwhile, Erik sits back and watches with a bowl of popcorn…

**Christine **_***comes into the kitchen, where Raoul and I are going in circles around the island bar***_: Okay, what in the world is going on in here?

She suddenly slips in a puddle of water, which formed when Raoul and I knocked the glass over.

**Me & Erik & Raoul **_***rush over to her***_**:** OH NO! CHRISTINE!

**Christine **_***starts crying in pain***_**:** OW! Oh my God! My wrist! Ow, ow, ow!

**Me **_***now freaking out***_**:** Chris, are you okay? What happened? Did you fall on your wrist?

**Christine **_***stops crying and looks at me strangely***_**:** Who are you? Are you the emergency hospital people? Dang, that was fast!

**Me **_***sighs and tries to remain calm***_**:** No, hon, it's me, it's Lauren! I just straightened my hair, that's all! God, what is with you people today?

**Christine:** Oh, okay… _***goes back to crying and cradling her limp arm***_

**Me:** Let me see it. _***gently takes hold of her arm and examines it***_

**Christine:** _***sniffs and whimpers***_

**Raoul:** Darling, your wrist doesn't look very good at all…

**Me:** Yeah, it's already swelling up. Not a good sign.

**Erik:** Here, I got the icepack. _***hands it to me***_

**Christine **_***as I try to apply the pack to her wrist***_**:** OUCH! Don't touch it! It hurts!

**Me:** I know, I know, but you have to keep this on it for now. It'll help decrease the swelling and numb the pain.

She sighs and holds the pack against her wrist.

**Me **_***stands up***_**:** Alright guys, we need to get her to the emergency room, right now. I can already tell you that her wrist is in bad condition.

Raoul helps Christine up and leads her down the hall to the garage.

**Erik:** Wait, what about the show? We're going to miss opening night!

**Me **_***sighs***_**:** I know, it totally sucks, but Mary Frances will understand. This is a serious emergency.

**Erik:** _***nods and grabs the keys***_

He drives us to the hospital and we get Christine into the ER.

**Me:** _***comes into the waiting room after Christine's x-ray***_

**Erik & Raoul **_***immediately stand upon seeing me***_**:** How is she?

**Me:** She broke _both_ the bones in her right wrist.

**Raoul:** Oh no, my poor Christine!

**Me:** I know, this is the second time we've taken her to the ER so far…

**Erik:** Where is she now?

**Me:** They're giving her some strong Tylenol to help with the pain and also putting a cast on her arm.

Suddenly, my cell phone rings from inside my purse.

**Me **_***digs it out***_**:** It's Mary Frances… _***answers phone***_ Hey!

**Mary Frances:** Hey, where in the world are you guys? I don't see you out in the audience!

**Me:** Uhm, that's because we're not in the audience…

**Mary Frances:** What? Then where are you?

**Me:** We're at the hospital.

**Mary Frances:** …_what_? Oh my God, what happened?

**Me:** Christine broke both the bones in her wrist.

**Mary Frances:** Oh, that poor thing!

**Me:** Yeah, she slipped and fell on it right before it was time to go.

**Mary Frances:** Well, please give her a hug for me! Intermission's almost over. I'll be home after the show.

**Me:** Alright, bye, love you, and continue breaking those legs!

**Mary Frances:** Will do. Love you, too!

I hang up, put the phone back into my purse, and heave a sigh as I sit down in one of the seats.

**Erik **_***pulls me into his lap concernedly***_**:** What's the matter, dear? You seem upset.

**Me:** I'm fine, I just can't help but feel a little guilty.

**Erik:** But it wasn't your fault. If anything, it's the fop's fault!

**Raoul:** What? How is this my fault?

**Me:** Well, none of this would have happened if I hadn't spilled that glass of water. We would have just gone and saw the show and Christine's wrist would be in one piece.

**Raoul:** Well, you wouldn't have spilled the water if you hadn't been chasing me like a madwoman!

**Me:** I wouldn't have been chasing you if you hadn't busted my straightener, which I still haven't forgiven you for…

**Raoul:** I said I was sorry! You can use my flatiron for the time being! Besides, it's not like I'll be using it anytime soon… _***looks at his short hair sadly***_

**Me:** Fine. You're forgiven now.

**Raoul:** But I wouldn't have busted your straightener if you two hadn't been screaming at each other!

**Me:** We wouldn't have been screaming if Erik hadn't attacked me in the first place!

**Raoul:** So, wait, it's actually Erik's fault then!

**Erik:** But I wouldn't have attacked her if she hadn't straightened her hair!

**Me:** Just because I straightened my hair doesn't mean you had to attack me like that!

**Erik:** Oh…well, yeah, I guess it is my fault then.

**Raoul **_***grins triumphantly***_**:** Ha! See! I was right!

**Me **_***hits him across the head***_**:** You still broke my straightener!

Just then, a nurse comes into the waiting room with Christine, who is sitting in a wheelchair. Christine has a cast on her right wrist, which is resting in a sling.

**Everyone:** Christine!

**Christine:** Heeeyyyy guuyyysss!

**Me (to nurse):** Um, is she okay?

**Nurse:** She's fine, the Tylenol is just really strong and it makes the patients a little loopy… She's going to have to have her cast for four weeks so that the bones will mend.

**Raoul:** Aw, but that means she's going to have to go to the Masquerade Ball with a broken wrist!

**Christine **_***bursts into song***_**:** MASQUERAAAAAADEE! PAPER FACES ON PARAAAAAAAADE!

We then wheel Christine out of the hospital.

**Christine:** Look at all those birds up there! _***points to the roof of the hospital***_

**Me **_***looks at her amusedly***_**:** Hon, those are flags…

**Christine:** Ohhh…well, flag birdies are cool!

**Everyone:** _***facepalm***_

A couple hours later after we get back home, Christine has fallen asleep in Raoul's arms on the couch in the den. Meanwhile, _Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl_ is playing on the television and a big bowl of watermelon squares are sitting nearby.

**Me **_***sitting with Erik***_**:** Well…she's finally asleep.

**Raoul:** Yeah, what a night.

**Erik:** For once, I agree with you, fopster.

**Raoul:** Should I take her up to her room?

**Me:** Sure, but be careful not to wake her up.

Raoul rises from the sofa and carries Christine out of the den and up the stairs.

**Erik **_***sighs***_**:** So…now what?

**Me:** I don't know, want to finish the movie?

**Erik:** No thanks, I'd rather go to bed early than have you ogling at a drunken, dreadlocked pirate on a screen.

**Me:** _***scoffs and rolls eyes***_

Just then, Mary Frances comes in, but stops dead upon seeing me.

**Mary Frances **_***slightly wary***_**:** Um, hello, are you new here?

**Me **_***grabs Erik by the shoulders and looks him right in the eye***_**:** DON'T EVER LET ME STRAIGHTEN MY HAIR AGAIN!

* * *

_It's true, that's how my Friday night went: my little brothers really did break me and my mom's straightener (right after I had finished using it), then my little sister really did break her wrist, and I ended up missing the opening night of 'Once Upon a Mattress' at my local theatre… I really wasn't having the best day. Oh, and my little sister really did think that the flags on the hospital roof were birds! It was pretty funny._

_Now, I have some __**GOOD NEWS**__ and I have some __**BAD NEWS**__: The good news is that my newest baby sister is going to be born this TUESDAY and we're all so very excited about meeting her! The bad news is that I'm a little behind in my writing schedule… Even though I'm getting a new sister and it's all very exciting, it's also getting in the way of my writing time lately. So what I'm trying to say is that the Masquerade Ball chapter is more than likely NOT going to be posted on Saturday. Please don't hate me, because I WILL post it very soon, no doubt about that, but I need more time to write it out and such so that it is a smooth, fun get-together. Thank you for understanding._

_I hope you all enjoyed this little installment of our hysterical adventures! Please don't forget to REVIEW! We love you all! Next update is coming soon!_


	18. Once Upon a Hysterical Disaster

_Once Upon a Hysterical Disaster  
_

The next night, me, Raoul, and Erik are all heading to the theatre to help usher for the second showing of 'Once Upon a Mattress'. We left Christine at home alone because of the consistent pain in her wrist.

**Erik **_***driving the van***_**:** I cannot believe she has watched all three _Pirates of the Caribbean_ movies…eight times in a row!

**Me **_***sitting in shotgun***_**:** Yeah, it's kind of funny at this point!

**Raoul **_***bitterly***_**:** I don't want to talk about this, let's change the subject…

**Me **_***ignores him***_**:** Seriously, fop, if Will Turner came walking in through the front door of the house, she'd instantly divorce you and marry him without a second thought!

**Raoul:** Not before I challenge him to a duel at swordplay!

**Erik **_***scoffs***_**:** Yeah, and then you'll lose both your woman _and_ your life!

**Raoul:** Hey! I actually beat you in the graveyard that one morning!

**Erik:** Not before I hacked you in the arm!

**Raoul:** Yeah, I was a little surprised at my performance myself…I hadn't even had my morning espresso yet and I still came out alive _and_ I won my woman!

**Erik **_***mutters under breath***_**:** …I admit that I have _yet_ to do that… _***glances at me***_

**Raoul:** Ha! Mr. Scary Phantom just can't seem to win himself a—

**Me:** Alright guys, quit bickering, we're here.

We pull into the rear parking lot of the theatre.

**Erik **_***gets out of the car***_**:** Wait, if we're ushering, why park in the back and not the front?

**Me:** We can go through the backstage area and head up to the lobby.

**Erik:** Or we could just go through the alley! Why so skittish, dear?

**Me:** It's just safer if we go through the theatre… And I seriously don't want to get abducted or anything! This is a dangerous neighborhood!

**Erik:** Trust me, I think you'll be perfectly safe with me, of all people, by your side. I'm Mr. Scary Phantom of the Opera, for God's sake! No one should bother us.

**Me:** Alright, fine, you win.

**Erik:** Besides, I brought my Punjab along, in hopes of finding a reason to use it, since I no longer can at the house without getting discovered…

**Me:** _***rolls eyes as we cross the parking lot and head down the alleyway***_

**Raoul **_***looking around the alley in awe***_**:** Wow, it's all nice and fancy!

**Me:** Yeah, they painted it a couple years ago to make it look like a little French court or something. It's very nice.

**Erik:** And you thought you were going to get abducted in this alleyway! I was expecting darkness, garbage, rats, and cockroaches, not an appealing, French-based alley!

**Me:** Alright, shut up, I get it!

We take a right, walk down the street, and go into the theatre. Mrs. Pam, the house manager, sets us up with a ton of playbills and we stand together at the entrance of the auditorium, handing them out to the arriving audience members and assisting them to their seats if necessary.

**Erik **_***observing the lobby***_**:** Well…it's no Opera Populaire…

**Raoul:** But it's nice!

**Me:** Yes, I agree, it's a little small. And trust me, this is just the lobby…the backstage looks like the average person's garage! But there's so much history that has happened here, it's very fascinating and exciting.

**Erik:** Exciting how?

**Me:** Well…believe it or not…but this theatre is actually "haunted"…

**Erik & Raoul:** WHAT?

**Me:** Oh yeah, there's an actual ghost here. There have been so many reports of unexplainable things happening in this very building. Even me and Mary Frances have seen and interacted with him a few times!

**Raoul:** How do you know it's a "him"?

**Me:** I don't know, it's just an instinct. Everyone calls him 'Jeff' because a man named Jeffery Weaver was one of the founders who died of cancer many years ago and ever since, people have said that it's him just watching over the theatre.

**Erik:** And you've had ghostly encounters with this 'Jeff'?

**Me:** Oh yes, along with many other people!

**Erik:** Really? Like what?

**Me:** Well, during rehearsals, we usually hear crashes and odd noises coming from upstairs…when there's nobody up there. Oh, one time, I was running one of the spotlights for a performance that I wasn't in, and suddenly my spotlight unplugged all by its' self! It was crazy… Another time, my friend, Amy, and I were coming down to the lobby. There's a door that leads to the staircase to the third floor right by the staircase leading down to the lobby. I knocked on the door jokingly…and something knocked back from the other side…when there was nobody there! We were so freaked out! And then another time, me and Mary Frances were sitting on that sofa over there before a dress rehearsal when suddenly, the men's restroom door started opening all by itself! It was pretty cool! I actually saw the ghost one time, as well… I was up by the catwalk, trying to see who was working the scenery and such. I turned around the go back down the stairs, but I saw this transparent, floating head of a person with glowing eyes! I had never been shakier in all my life after seeing such a thing!

**Erik:** That sounds like a load of rubbish to me…all of those could easily be explained! The air conditioner could have moved the restroom door. The spotlight plug could have just simply fallen out. Your friend could have made a noise without knowing it. And you could have been high or something when you "saw" him!

**Me:** Oh, you're just upset you got replaced by an actual ghost… And like it or not, we'll probably go ghost hunting sometime soon and we'll come face-to-face with him!

**Erik **_***scoffs***_**:** Yeah, whatever…

Soon, it's time for the show to start, so we go in and sit in the auditorium, since the ushers get to watch and enjoy the show for free for helping out.

After the overture, the curtains open and the minstrel steps out and begins his song.

**Me:** _***seemingly in a trance with a stupid smile on my face***_

**Erik **_***notices this, leans over, whispers***_**:** …Lauren?

**Me **_***jumps***_**:** Huh, what?

**Erik:** I've seen that look before…is he someone you know?

**Me:** Yes, that's David…he's, um, a friend.

**Erik:** Hmm…something tells me there's more to this than you're letting on…

**Me:** Am not! He has a girlfriend!

**Erik:** Then why are you ogling at him in such a fashion?

**Me:** I don't know…he's cute…

**Erik **_***taken aback***_**:** Well…he's looks a little older than you, though.

**Me:** Hey! You have absolutely _no_ room to talk, Mr. 34-year-old… David is, in fact, only seven years older than me, which is the same age-difference as his own parents!

**Erik:** And that matters why?

**Me:** I don't know, it's just a fact. His mother actually brought it to my attention. They all really love me and my family and we love them. I think his mother has hopes that maybe we could be in-laws through me and David someday…

**Erik:** WHAT?

**Me:** Shhhh! Jeeze, Erik, calm down! David currently has a girlfriend… But, nevertheless, all I'm going to say right now is that anything can happen…you just never know!

**Erik:** _***turns away and gives David a murderous death glare***_

**Raoul:** _***suddenly bursts into tears next to me***_

**Me:** Shhhh! Raoul, what's the matter?

**Raoul **_***now sobbing***_**:** L-look at h-his h-hair!

**Me & Erik **_***look towards the stage***_**:** …oh my God…

Benji, who is playing Prince Dauntless, is wearing a lengthy, swishy, blonde wig that looks EXACTLY like Raoul's hair from the movie!

Later, after we get Raoul to quiet down, Lady Larkin and Sir Harry both have their interaction.

**Me **_***leans over and whispers to Erik***_**:** That's the role I could I have gotten if I had auditioned…

**Erik **_***cringes***_**:** Yeah, you would have done a lot better and actually been able to sing the notes!

**Me:** Hey, Carly can sing! She just isn't a soprano, which the role happens to call for!

**Erik:** I rest my case…you would have been better suited for the character. Oh, but if you had gotten the role, you'd have to wear that hideous pink dress and I know you hate wearing pink!

**Me:** I would've worn it! I might not have liked it, but I'd deal with it and it would also be worth it because I'd be up onstage with Sir Harry!

**Erik:** Well, I admit _he_ isn't that bad…

**Me:** That's Alex, he's one of my best friends! I used to have major crush on him, as well, and still do occasionally… It's like a rollercoaster when it comes to him.

**Erik:** _***silently glares at Alex***_

**Raoul:** _***bursts into tears again as Benji comes back onstage***_

**Me:** Raoul, come on, it's not a big deal!

**Raoul:** Y-yes, it is! Don't you un-understand? If I still h-had all my beautiful h-hair, C-Christine would still l-love me! S-She wouldn't be d-dumping me for some mustachioed, pony-tailed, pirate W-Will Turner!

**Me:** Alright, tell you what, if you quit crying and keep quiet throughout the rest of the performance, I'll help you steal the wig after the show and then we can go home and you can win Christine's heart back! Does that sound good?

**Raoul **_***throws his arms around me in glee***_**:** Oh Lauren, you are an angel in disguise as the devil! Thank you, thank you, thank you! How can I ever repay you?

**Me:** Alright, alright, you're welcome! How about you let go of me?

**Raoul **_***obeys***_**:** Hey…um, quick question…where did Erik go?

My eyes instantly widen at his question and I turn to realize Erik has disappeared from his seat! I then look up at the stage and notice Mary Frances is not among the cast!

**Me:** Oh _***bleep!***_…

**Raoul **_***looks around in confusion***_**:** What was that?

**Me:** Oh, that's just my bleep machine. Mary Frances installed it as a result of my, um, offensive language that I've grown accustomed to using in situations such as this…

**Raoul:** And what kind of situation is this, dare I ask?

**Me:** Not a good one! The "partners in crime" have been reunited!

* * *

_We interrupt this current Point of View to bring you a never-before-seen Point of View!_

MARY FRANCES' POV!

It was nearly time for the 'Song of Love', which is the closing song of Act 1. I was waiting in the crowded, dim wings, wondering how Lauren, Erik, and Raoul were enjoying the show. Although, I couldn't help but notice that I would hear consistent sobs whenever Benji (with his RaFop de Changy wig) stepped on the stage… Hmm, I wonder…

**Sudden Voice Behind Me:** Boo!

I didn't scream, jump, or even flinch, for I knew who it was before even turning around.

**Me **_***turns around and whispers lowly***_**:** Nice try, Erik…you know that never works on me!

**Erik **_***curses***_**:** I was hoping this shadowy, little wing would help bring upon a different reaction!

**Me:** What are you doing back here anyway? Aren't you enjoying the show?

**Erik:** Ehh, the storyline is quite cute and humorous, but some of the cast members, in my opinion, need to be sacked… And I'm back here because it feels so different to me to be out among the audience instead of up in the rafters or my box! Out of curiosity, would you happen to know the way to the catwalk?

**Me:** Of course I do! But I can only wonder why you need to get up there in the first place?

**Erik:** Because my genius self has a plan to…dispose of some of the deserving cast members…but I'm going to need the assistance of my partner in crime to achieve my intentions!

**Me:** Say no more, I'll lead the way!

**Erik **_***follows me backstage***_**:** But you're going to miss your next scene!

**Me:** Trust me, I'm not necessary. It's not like I do anything special.

**Erik:** Except run across the stage, giggling and squealing like a little French floozy, while getting your butt pinched by a perverted, mute king!

**Me:** That's because I _am_ the little French floozy!

**Erik **_***amusedly***_**:** Well…your role suits you well, then!

**Me:** Hey, it isn't ME who flirts with everybody in reality! We all know who the flirt is among us!

**Erik:** _***shuts up***_

I quietly lead him up the stairs and to the entrance of the dim catwalk, where we discover Eric, the scene changer, sitting there, waiting for his next cue. We immediately dart back down the stairs out of sight.

**Me **_***whispers irritably***_**:** Crap…now what?

**Erik **_***starts taking out Punjab***_**:** …I'll take care of him…

**Me **_***stops him***_**:** Oh no you don't! We're not up here to pull a Joseph Buquet!

Suddenly, from down below, we hear Melissa, one of our prima donnas who plays Princess Winifred, vocalizing to the music, but screwing all the notes up terribly (after all, she isn't a soprano, so, of course, she can't even hit the proper notes…)

**Erik **_***utterly appalled***_**:** Oh my God! What in God's name was that supposed to be?

**Me:** That was Melissa, she's our non-soprano, no-good, trash-talking prima donna. So I guess you can say we have our own Carlotta…

**Erik:** In that case, she must be disposed of immediately!

**Me:** That's what we came up here to do, isn't it?

**Erik **_***pauses***_**:** …It is now!

**Me:** Well, we must come up with a safer, _less violent_ way to accomplish our task…

**Erik **_***eyes me mischievously***_**:** Hmm…I think I have an idea… _***whispers plan into my ear***_

**Me **_***eyes widen***_**:** WHAT?

**Erik:** Hey, you're the French floozy here! Do your job!

**Me:** I would…but there's a slight flaw in your "genius" plan… _***whispers in his ear***_ _That's Eric…and he's not…into girls…_

**Erik **_***brow furrowed***_**:** …I'm confused?

**Me:** Uhm…that means he's—

**Erik **_***eyes widen upon sudden realization***_**:** Wait a minute…you're not saying he's—

**Me **_***amused by his reaction***_**:** Yup…which means _I_ won't be the "French floozy" in this situation!

I grin widely at the sight of the visible half of his face paling right before my eyes.

**Erik:** I hate you…

**Me **_***still smiling***_**:** No, you don't.

**Erik:** You're right…but if I could, I swear I would!

**Me **_***rolling eyes***_**:** Sure… Now go get him…Phloozy of the Opera!

Erik growls and grumbles something about the insanity of this century and how some people would survive in Paris if they were…uh…_different. _Well, sorry, but that's putting it nicely, compared to what he said!

We tiptoe back up the stairs and to the entrance of the catwalk, but I suddenly stop in my tracks hesitantly.

**Erik **_***nearly runs over me***_**:** Well, move! I want to get this over with…

**Me **_***bites lip***_**:** Uhm, I don't think so…

**Erik:** And why not?

**Me:** Because…this is where Lauren and I both saw _him._

**Erik **_***mockingly***_**:** Who? The supposed _ghost_?Are you _afraid_?

**Me:** No! I'm more scared of Ra-fop!

**Erik:** You are most defiantly not afraid of Ra-fop…

**Me:** My point exactly! But I see _him_ a lot and I feel _him_ even more.

**Erik:** Uh-huh, scary ghost…

**Me **_***singsongs***_**:** I think somebody's jealous!

**Erik:** I'm more jealous of RaFop! Now, let's go, I want to get this over with…

**Me:** Okay, get out there, then!

**Erik **_***stops, turns back to me***_**:** Another thing: you are not to breathe a word of what happens up here to ANYONE!

**Me:** Bud, you already know I'm going to! _***innocent smile***_

**Erik **_***threateningly gets right in my face***_**:** And I will Punjab you!

**Me **_***yawns***_**:** You know, you really don't scare me…

**Erik:** You must be fearless.

**Me:** No…I'm just not scared of you. _***smile***_

**Erik:** Grrr, I need to work on my reputation… Well I must go…to the end of my humility.

**Me:** Oh, wait, hold on! Gotta add the finishing touch… _***begins unbuttoning the top of his undershirt***_

**Erik **_***seems uncomfortable being so close to me***_**:** Uhm…well, this is rather awkward…

**Me:** Why would you say that? Ohhhhh, because you're used to being "up close and personal" with _Lauren_ instead of me!

**Erik**_***starts stuttering consistently***_**:** I—wha—er—I—oh, just shut up!

**Me **_***ignores him, smirks at his reaction***_**:** You're just disappointed _I'm_ undoing your shirt when you would simply die of satisfaction if _someone else_ _I know_ was!

**Erik:** You know, you are really asking for it now!

**Me **_***pats his collar down***_**:** Alright, you're all set!

**Erik:** Well, finally! _***starts toward the entrance of the catwalk***_

**Me **_***smiles and waves***_**:** Have fun!

**Erik:** _***glares***_

I watch from the shadows as Erik makes his way down to where Eric is sitting. From there, Eric is immediately mesmerized by Erik's appearance. I can tell by their body language (well…at least, Eric's body language…) that there was intense (yet fake, on Erik's part) flirting going on.

After a few minutes of supposed playful dialogue, my eyes widen as Erik suddenly advances on Eric: he pushes him up against the wall and suggestively attacks his neck like a vampire, only minus the fangs. Eric is utterly overwhelmed at this bold move, but seems to be enjoying it nonetheless.

Finally, Erik breaks away in a rough manner and starts tying up a now breathless and bemused Eric.

**Me **_***comes out of the shadows and onto the catwalk***_**:** I never knew you had it in you, Mr. Phloozy of the Opera!

**Erik **_***utterly mortified***_**:** Shut up! That was the most humiliating thing I have ever done in my whole life!

**Me:** More like the most _scandalous_ thing you've ever done in your whole life!

**Erik:** …touché…

**Me:** Well, what are you waiting for? Let's get a move on!

**Erik:** _***already untying one of the scrims***_

**Me:** Wait! What are you doing? That one's not going to fall on Melissa! That scrim's going to just knock David and Alex—_***watches in alarm as the backdrop sends both David and Alex headfirst into the orchestra pit, realizes his true intentions***_—ohhh, wait a minute…I see now!

**Erik:** _***smirks triumphantly***_

**Me:** Jealous much?

**Erik:** What gave you that idea?

**Me:** Oh I don't know, certainly not knocking our two _very important_ male leads into the orchestra pit, who both happen to have a strange connection to _Lauren_…but I'm sure that's just a _coincidence_!

**Erik **_***smiles sheepishly***_**:** …heh…

**Me:** I thought you were aiming for Carlot-I mean, Melissa!

**Erik:** Oh, yes, I seem to have forgotten about the Toad… Unfortunately, I just used the only scrim to dispose of the other two imbeciles…

**Me:** Erik, just because they have had chemistry with Lauren does not make them imbeciles…

**Erik:** They are if I say they are!

**Me **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Whatever you say, bud…OH MY GOD! HE'S GOT A PHONE!

Erik whips around to see Eric struggling to text on his cell phone for help.

**Erik:** Hmmm…let's just kill two birds with one stone, er…phone… _***swipes phone from Eric's hand and chucks it at Melissa's head all in one swift movement***_

I watch as the cell phone flies through the air and thought to myself "This probably was not the best idea…", and I guess I was right, seeing as Melissa was immediately knocked unconscious by the airborne cellular device and fell right on edge of the curtain, bringing them down, along with the entire set, and crashing on top of all the performers and the orchestra. Erik and I look at each other in a bit of shock as the sounds of moaning, groaning, screaming, and broken instruments floated up to the catwalk.

**Me:** Umm…Erik…

**Erik:** I didn't mean to! This is half your fault!

**Me:** Look at the grown man, blaming this on the innocent fourteen year old girl!

**Erik:** Noo, I'm only blaming you for half!

**Me:** Okay, whatever, we should probably get out of here…like right now!

**Erik:** I couldn't agree with you more! Let's go! _***takes hold of one of the ropes and holds out his hand to me***_

**Me **_***eyes bulge in terror***_**:** There is no way I'm doing thaaaa—_***he suddenly seizes my hand, barely giving me enough time to latch on before he jumps from the catwalk***_

I have no idea how Tarzan did this every day because Erik and I were screaming our freakin' heads off the entire swing down. Amazingly, we managed to dodge what was left of the scenery and backstage equipment and ended up landing in a heap in front of the back door.

**Erik **_***helps me up and brushes himself off***_**:** Well…that went well!

**Me **_***in awe***_**:** WE'RE ALIVE!

**Erik **_***fearfully looking beyond me***_**:** We won't be for long!

I look over my shoulder to see Lauren storming up towards us with Raoul in tow, who is grinning from ear to ear and carrying…_hair_?

**Me:** So that's where his hair weeeent—

I barely get to finish my sentence before Erik suddenly throws me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and sprints out of the theatre and across the parking lot to our van.

**Erik:** _***balancing me on his shoulder while patting his pockets in search for the keys to unlock the vehicle***_

**Me **_***drumming my fingers against my cheek***_**:** …you don't even have the keys, do you?

**Erik **_***in a panic***_**:** No, but she does!

**Me:** Who? You're impairing my vision…

**Erik:** Oh, sorry! _***turns around for me to see Lauren speeding towards us, her high heels now in hand***_

**Me:** OH MY GOD!

**Erik **_***takes time turning back around…just for the effect***_**:** OH MY GOD!

He then sets me down and we stare in terror as Lauren and RaFop both continue to charge towards us…but abruptly, things took a sudden turn… While the unlikely pair rush straight in our direction, the fopster looses his footing (big surprise…) and collides into the back Lauren, sending them somersaulting out of the alley, right past the van, through the middle of a drug deal, and across the street where they land in a rain water filled ditch. Erik and I stare frozen until—

**Random Drug Dealer:** FAIL!

**Erik & Me:** _***burst out in hysterical laughter***_

We were laughing so hard, we had to lean against the van for support…and we didn't notice our sopping wet housemates climbing out of the ditch. Suddenly, Lauren was standing right in front of us, hands on hips, black eyeliner and mascara smeared everywhere, and the rest of her face as red with mortification as I've ever seen!

**Erik **_***realizes I'm no longer laughing along, opens his eyes, sees Lauren standing there, and shrieks such a high pitched note, it would impress Sarah Brightman***_**:** AAGGHH!

**Me **_***scrutinizes him***_**:** Wow…I didn't know you had _that_ in you, either!

**Erik **_***rubbing now sore throat, in a hoarse voice***_**:** _Neither did I…_ _***turns to Lauren and smiles sheepishly***_ …_hi_…

**Lauren **_***ready to explode with rage, pulls out the keys, in slow, possessed voice***_**:** _Get…in…the…car!_ _***presses button and unlocks van with a 'beep beep'***_

**Me **_***after Lauren gets in the car, whispers to Erik***_**:** _We're gonna die…_

**Erik:** _***unable to speak, nods head agreeably, then follows me into the car***_

**Raoul **_***unable to contain his glee any longer***_**:** So…what do you guys think of my new hair?

You can practically hear the crickets chirping…

* * *

Back to LAUREN'S POV!

I decided to leave out my ranting in the car on the way to dinner because…well, let's just say my new *bleep* machine went off so many times, I'm surprised it didn't overheat and die…

But now, 45 minutes later, we were sitting in a booth at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants, Rosalias. Might I remind you we're receiving countless stares from the other diners, seeing as Erik, who is sitting next to me on the outside of the booth, is dressed up in his complete Phantom attire, including cape. Across from him, Mary Frances is still in her costume and stage makeup and Raoul, who is next to her, is not only dressed in 1870s attire, but is still rather damp and covered in mud, except for his new hair, which he managed to save from the depths of the ditch. Finally, I'm sitting across from him and, just as Raoul is, covered in mud and still slightly damp, along with dark makeup that has now dried in the pattern it made while trickling down my face. But, nevertheless, we're having a grand time together, chowing down on cheese dip and laughing our butts off while discussing the events the night…which were actually quite humorous after the initial shock!

**Me **_***laughing***_**:** You seriously Tarzaned off the top of the catwalk?

**Mary Frances:** Oh, yes, it was the most terrifying experience of my life! I'm not even going to lie!

**Erik **_***downing another beer, now has his voice back***_**:** Yee-ah, it was pretty cool…

**Mary Frances:** Are you kidding? You screamed louder than I did!

**Raoul **_***still going on about his new hair***_**:** …I just can't wait to see the look on Christine's face when I get home!

**Mary Frances:** Fop, Christine isn't going to care that you now have your freakin' long hair back!

**Raoul:** Not only that, but I also have my life back!

**Erik **_***slurring slightly***_**:** Yhou h-had a life bef-forrrre?

**Me:** Um, Erik, I think you've had one too many, dear… _***tries to take his drink from him, but he holds it out of my reach***_

**Erik **_***leans in playfully***_**:** Not wit-out a kissssss firsssst!

**Me **_***immediately taken aback, leans away***_**:** Excuse me?

**Raoul:** Oh, boy, here we go…

**Mary Frances:** I actually agree with you, RaFop. _***to Erik***_ What are you thinking?

**Erik:** I tinkiiiing…'bout pre-tty girrrrl…

**Mary Frances:** That pretty girl is gonna kill you.

**Erik **_***after chugging yet another beer***_**:** Pre-ttyyyy girrrrrrl… _***suggestively advances on me***_

I back into the corner of the booth, but he continues to persist. I manage to push him away, but I notice his eyes wandering down to the neckline of my shirt…

**Me **_***appalled***_**:** Um, are you looking down my shirt?

**Erik:** Maaaybee…yes, I am…

**Me **_***exasperated gasp***_**:** OH! _***snatches beer bottle from his hand***_

**Mary Frances **_***watches me raise it above Erik's head***_**:** Um…Erik, heads up!

**Erik **_***turns to her confusedly***_**:** Huh?

I take the opportunity of his unawareness and smash the bottle over his head, automatically knocking him unconscious.

**Me:** …whoops… That probably wasn't the best idea…

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, and I think it's about time we head home now, too.

After getting some assistance from a few employees, we manage to get the unconscious Erik into the van and I drive us home. He remains out cold throughout the entire ride.

**Mary Frances **_***after I park in the garage***_**:** Oh crap, now how are we supposed to get him into the house?

**Me:** It'll definitely take a group effort. I'll get his arms, you take his legs, and Raoul, you support his middle.

With all of our strength combined, we are able to get him out of the car and start carrying him to the door.

**Me:** See, this isn't so hard when we work toget—

**Raoul:** Oh look a penny! _***dives to the floor to retrieve the coin, causing both me and Mary Frances' strength to give out and drop Erik right on the ground***_

**Mary Frances **_***to me***_**:** You just had to say something?

**Erik **_***suddenly wakes up, attempts to observe his surroundings, but seems to have some trouble focusing***_**:** Oh, we're hooome! But goodness me, how did I end up on the floor?

**Mary Frances:** Well, he's conscious, so I'll just leave him up to you… Come on Raoul, Christine's probably pretty lonesome in there. _***they both head into the house***_

**Me **_***groans, bends down to help him up***_**:** Alright, come on, Erik, let's get inside.

**Erik **_***seems pleased to see me***_**:** Well, hello, my little sweet! _***I help heave him off the floor***_ Oh, how kiiind of you to assist your old man off the ground, yes, such a dear…

He unsteadily leans against me, my arms wrapped haphazardly around his abdomen. I struggle to keep my balance, but manage to lead him to the stairs that lead into the house without falling over.

**Me **_***huffs***_**:** Come along, Erik…it's only three steps! Could you please pick up your feet and move them?

**Erik:** Might I ask where we are going? _***trips on the first step, but I catch him***_ Oh my, where did these steps come from?

**Me **_***sighs exasperatedly***_**:** Well, we're obviously not going up to your room if you can't even tread up three steps to get into the house…

After a few more minutes of stumbling and ramblings, I finally get him into the house and meet Mary Frances in the hall.

**Mary Frances:** Well, finally! I was beginning to worry something had happened to you two out there…

**Me **_***sarcastically, still supporting Erik***_**:** Yeah, thanks for all your help… I'll be right back, I'm going to take him to my room.

**Erik **_***mischievously eyes me at my words***_**:** Oh, and what shall we do in there, I wonder?

**Mary Frances **_***warily***_**:** Um, I seriously would _not_ put a drunken man who is interested in you in a physical way in your bed with you for the night…

**Me **_***smacks Erik in the arm, as his hand was playfully making its way up the back of my shirt***_**:** Look, by the time I finally get him up all those stairs and into his room, the sun would already be up! I'll just let him pass out again before going to bed myself…

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, you probably wouldn't want to go upstairs anyway… _***casts an odd look up at the ceiling***_

I make a mental note to ask about that later and drag Erik down to my room. The moment I close the double doors, Erik grabs me and spins me around to face him.

**Erik:** Alone at last… _***tries to steal a kiss and nearly succeeds***_

**Me **_***hurriedly pushes him away***_**:** Erik, stop, none of that! It's time for you to get into bed!

**Erik **_***pouts***_**:** I'm not TI-errd!

**Me **_***takes off his cape and drapes it over my nearby chair***_**:** Guess who doesn't care!

**Erik **_***apparently trying very hard to think of someone who wouldn't care***_**:** …Spooky?

**Me **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Quit being difficult and get your butt in that bed!

I try to push him into it, but he only seizes me and holds me against his chest.

**Erik **_***chuckles roguishly***_**:** Now, _now_, darling…perhaps you will have more success in getting me to behave…if I receive a little kiss in return?

**Me **_***shoves him so that he falls back onto the mattress***_**:** Or I could just do that…

He grumbles something about how I'm such a meanie while I untie and take off his shoes for him.

**Me:** Alright, now go to sleep! You're not leaving this room until you can stand up and walk on your own and can speak without a slur. I don't care if spend all of tomorrow staring at my ceiling, but I will not have you bothering the others when you can't even think straight… _***starts to walk to the door***_

**Erik **_***calls humorously from the bed***_**:** Oh, so I don't even get a goodnight kiss?

**Me **_***sighs and turns around***_**:** Fine! If it will shut you up, then fine!

I stride up to him but trip on one of his shoes and end up falling (you guessed it…) right down on top of him.

**Erik:** …or you can just fall on me…that works, too!

**Me **_***blushes and rolls eyes, then gets up***_**:** Ugh…goodnight, Erik.

As I turn around to leave, he playfully nips at my butt.

**Me **_***jumps and squeals***_**:** Oh! You naughty Phantom!

**Erik:** _***chuckles mischievously before finally passing out again***_

I sigh and shake my head after closing the door behind me and then head into the kitchen where Mary Frances is taking out some Ben and Jerry's ice cream cups.

**Me:** Oh my gosh, you are my savior! This is exactly what I need!

**Mary Frances **_***hands me ice cream***_**:** I figured… And judging by how red your face is at the moment, I'm guessing things went well?

**Me:** Oh, shut up! But yeah, it was fine, nothing too drastic… _***sighs***_ I don't know what I'm going to do with him…

**Mary Frances **_***teasingly***_**:** I _know_ what he _wants_ to do with _you_!

**Me **_***blushes even deeper***_**:** Okay, shut it, that's the last thing I want to think about right now…

**Mary Frances:** You can't deny it, he wants you…bad…

**Me:** _***remains silent and continues eating ice cream***_

**Mary Frances:** _***smirks and shakes head***_

**Me:** So what's going on upstairs that should apparently be avoided?

**Mary Frances:** Oh…yeah…about that… You know how Raoul was so excited about Christine seeing his new wig…and how I told him that Christine wouldn't care?

**Me:** Um…yeah…and?

**Mary Frances:** Well…she pretty much went crazy for it…she jumped him and started kissing him!

**Me:** Oh my…

**Mary Frances:** Yeah…and they've both been upstairs ever since…

**Me **_***shakes head***_**:** Oi vey…

* * *

_Well…there you have it…our first trip to the local theatre and a Mexican restaurant! There really is an actual ghost called Jeff haunting our local theatre, Mary Frances really was the French floozy in 'Once Upon a Mattress', the scene changer really was…different, I really have had a crush on both guys Erik nearly killed, Melissa really is our own Carlotta, and Erik really can be a naughty, outgoing flirt when he's wasted… Oh, and I'm not kidding you guys, Benji's wig was identical to Raoul's in the movie!_

_Anyway, I am SO sorry about the long wait for this update! I've been super busy with my new baby sister in the house. And I also kept running into writer's blocks, but Mary Frances always came to my aid and helped me break through…so you can thank her for __**half**__ of all the awesomeness packed into this chapter!_

_By the way, my baby sister is a beautiful and healthy baby. Her name is Philomena Rose (or just 'Mena' for short) and she was born June 21__st__ at 12:27 AM and weighed 6 lbs. and 15 oz. I will post a picture on my profile sometime soon so you guys can see her. The next chapter shall be dedicated to her and then the one after that will be a pre-update to the Masquerade chapter!_

_Speaking of which, I'm also sorry if any of you were hoping this was the Masquerade update, but I've unfortunately run into a problem with writing it…_

_You see, I have so many of you Phangirls who want to attend and be put into it, but that totals up to a lot of writing and it's getting out of hand with the attendee list. I'm also only receiving consistent reviews from my loyal readers and reviewers (you know who you are!). So what I'm trying to say to the rest of you Phangirl newcomers is that YOUR REVIEWS count toward your attendance to the get-togethers from now on. The more consistent each of your reviews are, the greater your opportunity is at attending the get-togethers!_

_I hope you guys enjoyed this installment! Don't forget to REVIEW because the Masquerade is coming soon!_


	19. Masquerade Preparations

_Masquerade Preparations_

Friday afternoon, I'm back in the kitchen, using my shoulder to press my cell phone to my ear while pouring myself a glass of sweet tea.

**Me **_***talking into phone to a Buck Ridge planning supervisor***_**:** …an estimate amount of guests? Uhm…okay, let's see…there's us, the hosts, so that totals up to five…actually six…if I can manage… _***evil smile***_ Anyway, guest-wise—

Suddenly, an ENORMOUS explosion is heard from above!

**Me **_***shouts over explosion***_**:** As I was saying, guest-wise, expect close to 60 people… _***another explosion***_ OKAY, WHAT THE _***BLEE—* **_Transportation? We're all arriving by about 30 horse-drawn carriages… Yes, you heard me correctly, horse-drawn carriages! Huh? Oh, what was the—_***explosion***_—bleeping noise? It was just my "bleep" machine. No, I'm not—_***explosion***_—kidding you, Mr. Rude One! I think everyone should invest in a "bleep" machine! Now back to the planning; 30 horse-drawn carriages_***explosion, explosion, explosion***_ Hold on a second, sir…ERIIIK, MARY FRAAAAAANCES! WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING? WHY DOES THE HOUSE KEEP—_***explosion***_—SHAKING? _***turns back to the conversation on the phone***_…uh huh…well, since you're catering, I'd think _you'd_ clean up the poop! _***explosion***_ Oh just a moment…DID YOU TWO BLOW THE ROOF OFF THE PLACE AGAIN?...what's that?... Oh no, explosions are an everyday occurrence in my life, sir!

I heard a repetition of more explosions and then silence. It was seconds later when I notice Erik and Mary Frances, whose fronts are both covered from head to toe in ashes, trying to sneak down the stairs and out of my sight.

**Me:** Oh wait, hold on a second, sir…again… _***puts phone down and storms up to them***_ HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOU TWO!

**Erik **_***halts, grumbles under his breath***_**:** _Busted!_

**Mary Frances **_***attempting to calm me***_**:** Lauren, just breathe…this isn't what it looks like…just breathe…

**Me:** I will breathe when you tell me what just happened up there!

**Erik:** You more than likely won't be breathing after we tell you what just happened up there…

**Me:** _***starts fuming uncontrollably***_

**Mary Frances & Erik **_***in terror***_**:** Uhm…s/he did it! _***point at each other accusingly***_

**Mary Frances:** I did not!

**Erik:** Did too!

**Mary Frances:** Did not!

**Erik:** Did too!

**Mary Frances:** No, you did it!

**Erik:** I did not!

**Mary Frances:** Did too!

**Erik:** Did no—

**Me **_***finally screams over them***_**:** ALRIGHT, GUYS! FOCUS! Now somebody PLEASE tell me what on Earth you two did up there!

**Erik:** In my defense, she told me those fireworks were duds!

**Mary Frances:** Well, I wasn't the one who lit them up!

**Me:** _***exasperated sigh***_

**Erik:** Hey, this is your fault, too, you can't deny that!

**Mary Frances:** Don't go blaming this all on me!

**Erik:** I'm not, I'm only blaming you for half of this!

**Me:** Hello! I still don't know what "this" is!

**Mary Frances:** You know what, I think I'm just gonna get back to work on those costumes… _***hastily flees down the hall, leaving Erik there alone***_

My eyes bore into Erik's as I wait for some kind of sensible explanation.

**Erik **_***openly confesses***_**:** She was taking a break from costuming and I was bored! Leftover 4th of July fireworks from last year seemed to be a good way to keep us occupied at the time, but now we know that wasn't…yeah…

**Me **_***pinching the bridge of my nose***_**:** _Listen…_ _***looks up at him, trying to keep calm***_ I have…less than 24 hours…to get everything set and settled…for our Masquerade party…which is to be held tomorrow evening, may I remind you… _***loses it***_ AND YOU TWO ARE SCREWING OFF UPSTAIRS, BLOWING OFF THE ROOF OF OUR HOUSE!

**Erik:** Well…not the entire roof…

**Me:** …what is that supposed to mean? Never mind, I don't even want to know! _***sighs and rubs temples***_ Just go to your room, Erik, and stay there until I call you!

**Erik:** I would…but, um, there's a slight complication with that suggestion…

**Me **_***eyes wide with fury, realizes he no longer has a ceiling***_**:** Alright, go to MY room then and stay THERE until I call you! And you WILL be paying for the roof!

**Erik **_***heads down the hall, calls back teasingly***_**:** Uh huh, sure…and how am I supposed to do that?

**Me **_***screams back in infuriation***_**:** I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING!

Upon hearing my bedroom door close, I groan in frustration before picking my phone back up.

**Me:** Sorry about that…what's that?...no, everything is fine, there will be no need to notify the police… Anyway, as I was saying—

**Erik **_***hesitantly comes back in***_**:** Um, Lauren?

**Me **_***holds finger up to silence him***_**:** Hold on a sec… _***into phone***_ No, why would I put a giant _Phantom of the Opera_ inspired ice sculpture in the bathroom?

**Erik **_***tries again***_**:** Lauren?

**Me **_***growing impatient***_**:** Just a second, please, Erik! _***into phone***_ What makes you think I'm kidding? There must be a chocolate fountain in _every_ room…yes, including the bathrooms!

**Erik**_** *mutters to himself***_**:** That poor man could use a beer…

**Me **_***continues into phone***_**:** No, there is no one else available for you to talk to here, so quit begging!

**Erik:** Do you want me to get Mary Frances? Maybe she could—

**Mary Frances **_***all the way across the house from the office***_**:** I tried two and a half hours ago when she first called them up! She won't let me!

**Me **_***snaps at Erik***_**:** I've got everything under contro—_***turns back to phone***_ please stop crying, sir, you're making this planning session so much harder than it needs to be!

**Erik **_***sounds the alarm***_**:** Mary Frances! Lauren has succeeded in making a grown man cry again!

**Mary Frances **_***walks into the kitchen***_**:** Lauren, please hand me the phone…

**Me:** NO! I HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL! GAH! _***shouts into phone***_ Are you writing this down? All I hear is you sobbing, sir! Get writing!

**Erik **_***tries to take a calmer route through this apparently traumatizing conversation***_**:** Dear, I think it would be wiser if you let Mary Frances handle everythi—

**Me:** SHUT UP! I HAVE EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL!

I noticed Raoul coming down the stairs, but upon my sudden shriek of rage, he decided it was not the best idea to join the poor unfortunate souls in the kitchen and quickly retreated back up the stairs.

**Erik **_***to Mary Frances***_**:** How are you _not_ worried for her sanity?

**Mary Frances:** She'll be fine as soon as she hangs up.

**Erik:** So this has happened before?

**Mary Frances **_***with complete sarcasm***_**:** Oh, yes, we have planned Masquerade balls on a weekly basis with half a hundred attending Phangirls and apparently complex lodging preparations, along with a menu that could feed thousands!

**Erik:** So you honestly don't know if she'll be fine, do you?

**Mary Frances:** How much you want to bet that right after she gets off the phone she'll be perfectly fine and in a great mood?

**Erik:** Well, I have a 50 on me…

**Mary Frances **_***cocks eyebrow***_**:** Where did you get a 50 from?

**Erik **_***hastily***_**:** None of your business…

**Mary Frances:** Well then…you're on!

**Me:** …alright, thank you, have a nice day! _***finally hangs up, looks over at them***_ Oh my gosh, are you guys as pumped for this Phangirl get-together as I am? _***Cheshire cat grin***_

**Mary Frances:** _***smirks and holds out hand to Erik***_

**Erik:** _***regrettably slaps the 50 into her hand***_

**Mary Frances:** _***flounces off back to the office***_

**Me:** …what was that about?

**Erik **_***repeats answer***_**:** None of your business… _***walks off***_

**Me **_***shrugs and smiles***_**:** Must have been a friendly exchange of some sort… Oh wait, Erik, didn't you have something to ask me?

**Erik:** Oh yes! _***comes back in***_

**Me:** Okay, what is it?

**Erik:** Why is there a big trunk on your bed?

**Me **_***eyes widen for a second***_**:** Why were you anywhere near my bed?

**Erik:** Because you sent me in there, remember? And don't change the subject, why is there a trunk on your bed?

**Me:** Ummmmmm, the flying monkey things from the Wizard of Oz dropped it off!

**Erik **_***stares in disbelief***_**:**Really, Lauren? You know what, I'm actually going to give you a second chance at coming up with a better lie than that!

**Me:** Fine then…_***takes in a deep breath before beginning* **_After I finish up with our Masquerade costumes and masks, I'm taking off for the airport at midnight and catching a plane to New York to track down the one and only Gerard Butler, kidnap him using my awesome skills, and transport him back to our cozy home in the south so that he can accompany Mary Frances, who is currently date-less, to the Masquerade Ball, which is to be held tomorrow evening. _***sighs***_

**Erik **_***frowns disappointingly***_**:** …okay, that was even worse than the first lie. Now, you can tell me the real truth.

**Me **_***exasperatingly***_**:** I was being serious!

**Erik **_***sighs and gives up***_**:** Sure, whatever, I honestly don't care why you have a trunk on your bed…

**Me:** _***sighs***_

**Erik **_***now amused***_**:** How did the last minute over-the-phone preparations go?

**Me:** Oh, it went extremely well, the dude on the other line was so helpful!

**Erik:** And here I was, thinking you were literally going insane…

**Me:** Insane? No, I'm perfectly sane, why would you think that? I'm just making preparations for our Masquerade! What did you think I was doing?

**Erik **_***shakes head, mutters under his breath***_**:** _Unbelievable…_ What are the preparations you have made so far?

**Me:** Well…we have about 60 people coming to this one get-together—

**Erik **_***eyes widen in alarm***_**:** …please tell me you're joking!

**Me:** No, I'm not kidding, we have about 60 guests attending our Masquerade.

**Erik **_***leans against the counter in disbelief***_**:** Good God, have mercy on us…

**Me:** Yeah, it's going to get pretty crazy. So, they're all arriving at the lodge by horse-drawn carriages—

**Erik:** Why can't they just come in their usual Phangirl bus?

**Me:** That's rather obvious, isn't it? Everyone's going to be decked out in big ball gowns and costumes and over half the regular Phangirl population and their dates are coming, so it makes sense if they all arrive in their own personal carriages.

**Erik:** And what about us? How are we to get there?

**Me:** Our own carriage is going to come and pick us up here. _***heads down the hall toward the office***_

**Erik **_***follows me***_**:** What about food and drinks? Have you arranged a proper menu?

**Me:** Yes, in the front room, there will be an actual bar with drinks—

**Erik:** Um…_alcoholic_ drinks? May I remind you that over half of the attending guests are underage, including yourself?

**Me:** I know that, but the other half is of age, including yourself! Plus, the Buck Ridge staff is going to need a couple of drinks when we're through with them… Anyway, in the front room, there will be a whole table of finger foods to snack on, like crackers, cheeses, some meats, chips and dip, and little fruits, oh and the chocolate fountains! Then the banquet dinner shall be held in the big dining room. Oh my gosh, wait until you see the dining room, it has such a stunning view of the backyard! There's a big pond and a bridge and a gazebo and the grass is so healthy and green!

**Erik:** A pond, eh?

**Me:** Yeah, and there's a gator that lives in it.

**Erik:** _Perfect!_ _***evil grin***_

**Me **_***realizes his intentions***_**:** I know what you're thinking…but no, I will not have you pushing the fop into the pond and having him eaten by the gator!

**Erik **_***crosses arms disappointingly***_**:** _Killjoy…_ I'd be doing everyone a favor in disposing of that poor excuse for a woma—I mean man!

**Me:** Everyone except Christine and Emilia, your new love's cousin.

**Erik:** Oh, is she new to the group?

**Me:** Yes, this is her first Phangirl get-together, and she LOVES Raoul!

**Erik:** …well…that's a first!

He then follows me into the office, which has been transformed into a sewing room so we can create all our Masquerade costumes and masks by hand.

**Erik:** And what about the most important part, the music preparations?

**Me **_***growing impatient with all his questioning***_**:** Yes, Erik, I already hired a deejay…

**Erik:** What? Why can't we just have live music?

**Me:** Because one, an entire orchestra takes up too much room in our ballroom. Two, trained orchestras are not cheap. Three, it's so much easier to request songs if you have a deejay. Four, a few of the Phangirls actually want to perform for us.

**Erik:** Okay, one, from the pictures in the pamphlet you showed me, the ballroom is _huge_—

**Me **_***attempts to shut him down***_**:** And with the amount of guests attending, we do not have enough space to spare—!

**Erik **_***ignores me, continues***_**:** Two, nothing about this get-together is cheap—

**Me **_***gets right in his face***_**:** And that is why—

**Mary Frances **_***smirks, interrupts from the corner of the room***_**:** Wow, at this point, I can't wait to see how you two argue over your _wedding arrangements_…

**Christine **_***giggles***_**:** Ditto!

Erik and I avoid each other's gaze embarrassedly, feeling foolish for not noticing her and Christine in the room while we conversed in such a childish manner.

Meanwhile, Christine is working on her mask with her only operating hand at the mask table while Mary Frances is standing in front of a mannequin, pinning some blue fabric together for her dress.

**Mary Frances **_***looks up at us***_**:** What do you think so far?

**Me:** Looks great! I need to finish my dress and mask up and start on this dork's getup… _***gestures to Erik***_

**Erik **_***observing our huge collection of fabrics***_**:** Wow…you guys went a little overboard with the fabrics, eh?

**Me **_***quotes Jack Sparrow***_**:** Only a little…

**Christine:** AGH! JACK SPARROW QUOTE! _***sighs dreamily***_

**Mary Frances:** Erik, you haven't even seen the mask table and the accessories table!

**Erik **_***looks them over and picks up a decorative, faux rose***_**:** Very nice…

Just then, the fop waltzes in, clad in his usual attire and, of course, his wig.

**Raoul **_***looking rather uneasy***_**:** …are you all finished screaming at each other?

**Everyone **_***except Christine, screams at him all at once***_**:** YES!

**Raoul:** Jerks… What's going on in here?

**Erik:** Oh, nothing much, we're just planning world domination…what's it look like we're doing, genius?

**Christine **_***snatches faux rose from Erik's hand, scolds him***_**:** Erik, quit being such a meanie to Raoul! _***to Raoul***_ We're working on our Masquerade masks and costumes, dear…would you mind holding this rose against my mask while I hot glue it?

**Raoul:** Of course not, darling! So what is the current status of the costumes and masks?

**Me:** Well, yours is the only one completely finished, mine is nearly done, Mary Frances is working on hers now, Christine's costume is finished but she's still putting the last touches on her mask—

**Raoul **_***suddenly interrupts***_**:** Wait, why don't I get a mask?

**Mary Frances:** Because the Phangirls need to know who you are at all times so that they can either avoid you or attack you!

**Raoul:** …well, at least I'll be looking super fabulous in my costume! _***observes it on one of the mannequins***_

**Everyone**: _***rolls eyes and turns back to working***_

**Erik **_***to me***_**:** And what of my getup?

**Me:** I have yet to start on it…which reminds me… _***grabs a measuring tape and tosses it to Mary Frances***_

**Mary Frances **_***cocks an eyebrow at me***_**:** And what am I supposed to do with this?

**Me:** Take his measurements for me?

**Mary Frances **_***tosses measuring tape back***_**:** Oh no, you're in charge of his costume! If you need his measurements, you get 'em yourself, hon! Besides, you're more experienced in the 'up close and personal' field…

**Me **_***blushes deep crimson***_**:** Well…you're more experienced with costuming! _***tosses measuring tape back***_

**Mary Frances **_***unfazed***_**:** Nothing you say will change my mind. _***tosses it back***_ You can do it, Lauren, there's nothing to be afraid of!

**Raoul **_***pipes up***_**:** Yeah, what's the big deal, Lauren? You and Erik spend so much time on top of each other anyway!

**Mary Frances:** _***smacks him in the back of the head***_

**Raoul:** _***immediately starts crying pitifully and runs into Christine's arms***_

**Christine:** Come on, Raouly-Bear, let's take a break and get some tea.

**Erik **_***waits until they leave, still standing there in silence, taking in the entire conversation, all the while smirking amusedly***_**:** For once, the fop had a point—

**Me **_***resists slapping him, utterly discomfited***_**:** Erik, just don't say—please, just don't talk!

I finally give up, heave a sigh, and sulkily approach Erik, who looks all too pleased with the situation I've been forced into with him.

**Erik **_***as I measure the length of his arm***_**:** Oh, come now, dear, it's really not so bad…why are you making such a big deal over this?

**Me:** Because the last thing I need is a repeat of what happened last time!

**Erik **_***brow furrows uncertainly***_**:** …what exactly happened "last time"?

**Me:** Oh, that's right, you wouldn't remember because you were so drunk, you couldn't even stand up on your own!

**Erik:** Oh…well, that explains a lot!

**Me:** _***remains silent, now measuring the length of his shoulders***_

**Erik **_***continues to try and make conversation***_**:** But I'm not drunk now, so what is there to be in such a poor mood about?

He takes my hands in his and holds them to his chest.

**Me **_***tries to pull free***_**:** Will you please just let me do this without you causing any tension?

**Erik **_***coaxingly***_**:** Not until I see a smile!

**Me **_***loses it once again***_**:** Why would I smile at you?

**Erik:** _***silences and lets go***_

**Me:** _***goes back to measuring as if nothing happened***_

**Mary Frances **_***acknowledges what just happened and sees the hurt expression on Erik's face…well, half of his face***_**:** That was a little harsh, Laur—

**Me:** Shut up!

**Mary Frances **_***somewhat under her breath***_**:** I'm gonna see what RaFop and Christine are up to.

She leaves the room and goes into the kitchen, where the young couple is…uhm…eating each other's faces…to put it nicely…

**Mary Frances **_***appalled***_**:** Oh my Lord, what are you _doing_?

**Raoul **_***immediately jumps away and falls off the counter in alarm, then leaps back up to his feet***_**:** Erm…well…uhm…we got a little carried away I guess…

**Mary Frances **_***now in complete shock***_**:** _On the kitchen counter?_ Really, guys?

**Christine:** Hehe… _***stares down awkwardly, biting her lip***_

**Raoul **_***gets defensive***_**:** Well, we didn't expect you to be on your break for a while!

**Mary Frances **_***still in utter shock***_**:** That's no excuse! I will never be able to un-see that! Please…when you have to urge to…yeah, just save it when you're alone…upstairs…in your own room!

**Christine:** Why did you come in here anyway? I thought you were extremely busy working on your dress?

**Mary Frances:** Well, I was, but Lauren got a little heated…

**Raoul **_***now humored***_**:** Heated…in the face? Good Lord, what happened this time?

**Mary Frances:** She's quite infuriated at the moment, for some "unknown" reason, and she's taking it out on poor Er—

**Raoul:** AH! Don't you speak his name!

**Mary Frances **_***tryingly***_**:** —ik.

**Raoul:** I told you not to speak his name!

**Mary Frances **_***still testing him***_**:** Whose name? Errrrrik's?

**Raoul **_***desperately***_**:** Would you shut up?

**Mary Frances:** I don't understand why saying _Erik's_ name is such a big deal!

**Raoul:** Well, we were happy over here until you came in here, rudely interrupted us, and mentioned him!

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, happy on top of the counter in our kitchen where we cook and eat our meals!

**Raoul:** What does that have to do with anything?

**Mary Frances:** You and I both know that if I came in here five seconds later, I would have been scarred for life!

**Christine:** Actually, I think it would be more like ten sec—

**Mary Frances **_***exasperatedly***_**:** I don't want to know how long it takes for you to get there! The point is, RaFop, Erik has nothing to do with your marriage now! He has moved on and so has Christine! You two have each other and he's still…struggling to achieve…yeah…

**Christine:** You're right! I have my Raouly-Bear now and he's all I'll ever need!

They both start to lean in towards each other, but stop themselves and look in Mary Frances' direction.

**Mary Frances:** Why the hesitation? I'm waiting for the sweet, romantic moment here!

**Raoul & Christine:** _***roll eyes and begin to share a kiss***_

Suddenly out of nowhere, a shrill screech (no doubt coming from the office) disrupts them. Mary Frances looks over her shoulder in dread before talking off down the hallway.

**Mary Frances & Raoul & Christine:** Oh my God, Lauren! Lauren! Laur— _***enters office, stops in shock***_ ERIK?

Despite the odds, the poor phantom is in a crumpled heap on the floor, seemingly paralyzed with pain, and Lauren is standing over him, looking utterly bewildered.

**Mary Frances:** Lauren, what did you do? _***runs over to Erik***_

**Raoul:** Did you finally kick him there?

**Me:** Uhhh…no…

**Mary Frances:** Then what DID you do?

**Me:** I…uh…stuck him…with a pin…there…in between his…legs…

**Mary Frances & Raoul & Christine **_***in total alarm***_**:** WHAAAT?

**Christine:** How did you screw that up?

**Raoul **_***amused***_**:** Did you do that on purpose?

**Me **_***despairingly***_**:** How could I do that on purpose?

**Raoul:** Because it's really hard to mess that up!

**Mary Frances:** I still don't know how you could have let this happen!

**Me:** I…wasn't watching…where I was sticking the pin…

**Mary Frances:** _***disbelieving stare***_

**Raoul:** _***burst into hysterical laughter and walks out of the room still laughing***_

**Christine:** …Words cannot express my shock…I'm going to read a book and pretend I didn't just hear that. _***leaves the room***_

**Mary Frances:** Lauren! You have to look where you stick the pins! I can't believe I have to explain this to you!

**Me **_***stammers***_**:** I…eh…er…I…uh…UGH!

**Raoul **_***hops into the doorframe, his giddy-ness evident on his face***_**:** Oh…my…God, you guys! We totally haven't thought about the most important thing of this whole ball— OUR HAIR!

**Erik **_***thinking to himself, still on the ground***_**:** _Oh my frickin' God!_

**Me & Mary Frances:** Oh my God, what ARE we doing with our hair? We totally forgot all about it! What are we gonna do?

**Raoul:** Well…I know a thing or two about hair, you know…I could do your hair for you tomorrow!

**Me **_***obviously wary***_**:** I don't know about that…maybe I should call the salon and see if they have an opening tomorrow!

**Raoul:** Awww, pleeeeeaseeeeee! Pretty, pretty pleeeeeease! _***begins to hop in a circle around us, hands folded in a pleading motion***_ Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please—

**Me:** ALRIGHT! You can do our hair for us.

**Raoul:** YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! _***kisses Mary Frances on the cheek***_ Thank you, thank you, thank you! _***kisses me on the cheek, before giddily skipping out of the office***_

**Me:** _***notices the disgusted look on Mary France's face as she wipes it clean***_ What's the matter with you?

**Mary Frances:** Do you have any idea where his mouth's been? I DO!

**Raoul **_***pokes his head back into the doorway***_**:** Oh, by the way, Lauren, I think you should check your Facebook, there's some good news on there that will be sure to brighten your day!

**Me:** Oh…okay then…

**Mary Frances **_***watches me leave, then rushes over to Erik's side***_**:** Are you alright, Erik? _***helps him up***_

**Erik:** Yup, other than the fact that the area where the sun don't shine is throbbing, and has been for a while now, since I was left to lay on the floor in agony while you three discussed your hair of all things!

**Mary Frances:** Okay, Grumpy, you're very welcome that I didn't leave you here on the hardwood floor and walk away like everyone else!

**Erik:** I guess I have to thank you for that…

Mary Frances then goes back to work on her dress and he watches for a bit, seemingly in thought.

**Erik **_***approaches her hesitantly***_**:** Uhm…Mary Frances?

**Mary Frances:** Yes?

**Erik:** Does Lauren seem…different…to you lately?

**Mary Frances **_***reflects for a second***_**:** No…why would she?

**Erik:** Hmm…well, is it "that time of the month"?

**Mary Frances:** No! And I wouldn't say that, ever! Lauren would appear out of nowhere and destroy you!

**Erik:** Oh…okay… Well, then why is she so mad at me? I mean, she rarely ever wants to talk anymore, and whenever she does, she snaps at me! And apparently she's got enough evil in her to stick a pin in a not-so-nice place… I didn't do anything wrong!

**Mary Frances:** I'm sure it's nothing, it'll blow over.

**Erik **_***suspiciously***_**:** …you know something…

**Mary Frances:** What?

**Erik:** I can tell, you know why she's upset…what did you do?

**Mary Frances:** _I _did nothing! It was you who caused the trouble!

**Erik **_***skeptically***_**:** Disregarding the ceiling earlier this afternoon, I've done nothing to her!

**Mary Frances:** "Once Upon a Mattress", you remember that night?

**Erik:** For the most part…everything else was kinda hazy after a few beers.. _***stops***_ oh, wait…I didn't do anything stupid, did I?

**Mary Frances **_***matter-of-factly***_**:** That depends on your definition of "stupid". But if your definition of stupid is: Trying to bribe and steal kisses from Lauren in the Mexican restaurant, pushing her up against the corner of the booth, looking right down her shirt, trying to "get lucky" back at the house, and grabbing her butt, then yeah, you did something stupid!

**Erik **_***eyes wide with disbelief***_**:** …oh, no…

**Mary Frances:** I'm pretty sure "oh no" hardly covers all that!

**Erik **_***sits down, running his hands through his hair miserably***_**:** My God…how could I have let that happen? That poor thing… What do I do now?

**Mary Frances:** I think apologizing would be your best shot.

**Erik:** I'm not good at that sort of thing…what do I say to her?

**Mary Frances:** Maybe saying you're sorry, that you won't let it happen again? No more drinking?

**Erik:** I can already tell you I won't sincerely promise that last one!

**Mary Frances:** Then you should probably practice some control…you have some problems with that.

**Erik:** You know, I'll do tha—

Just then, I come springing back into the office with an astonished grin lighting up my face.

**Erik **_***urgently***_**:** Lauren, I need to talk to you about—

**Me:** Not now, I have to speak with more important people about more important matters! _***pushes past him to Mary Frances***_ Oh my God, Mary Frances! Guess what!

**Mary Frances:** Raoul got his wig stuck in the drain again?

**Me:** Ew, no! When did it get stuck last?

**Mary Frances:** When Erik stuffed it so far down the drain, he thought Raoul would never get it back… He failed, obviously.

**Me:** Yeah, okay, whatever! Anyway, as I was saying, I just found out that David has broken up with his girlfriend! Can you believe it? He's single now!

**Erik:** _***eyes bulge in horror***_

**Mary Frances:** Lauren, that's not necessarily a good thing.

**Me:** …oh wow, you're right, it's not a good thing…for his girlfriend!

**Mary Frances:** I thought he was still in the hospital after the "Bluebird incident".

**Me:** Oh, no, he was released…about fifteen minutes ago…

**Mary Frances:** Oh. So I'm assuming you're going to jump for it?

**Me:** …I don't know if I will or not. I think I'll just wait it out…and see if anything happens.

**Mary Frances:** You say that about everything…

**Me:** _***gleefully skips out of the room***_

Mary Frances looks over and notices Erik still standing there in silence, his face red with fury. Obviously, his blood was boiling and he was about to explode.

**Mary Frances:** Before you begin ranting, could you please close the door, for the sake of creating more drama if this was overheard?

**Erik **_***coolly closes door***_**:** OH FOR GOD'S SAKE! I can't belie—

Outside of the closed door in the living room, Raoul and Christine sat in their armchairs and watched through the door window as Erik flipped out. They couldn't hear what he was saying, but they could only imagine they weren't the nicest things.

**Christine **_***calmly, while sipping her tea***_**:** He's having quite a day…

**Raoul **_***reading celebrity gossip magazine***_**:** Mmm, yes, I think we all are.

**Christine:** Poor dears…

**Raoul:** Which "poor dears" are you referring to?

**Christine:** All of us…but Erik and Lauren especially…oh, and Mary Frances, since she's trapped in there with Erik's temper tantrum! _***looks over Raoul's shoulder, gasps***_ J-Lo is divorced now? That's messed up!

Meanwhile, back in the office…

**Erik **_***still ranting, but has run out of words and begun making random noises instead***_**:** ERG! EHG! AGHHHHH! _***ends rant and starts to breathe again***_

**Mary Frances:** Wow… You're having a terrible day, now aren't you?

**Erik **_***flops on to the couch next to her***_**:** …yes. I had hoped I had eliminated that—that…stupid kid…

**Mary Frances **_***interjects sarcastically***_**:** Ooh, burn!

**Erik **_***sulks for a millisecond before continuing***_**:** …eliminated him from her life, but NO, he has to come home from the hospital perfectly okay AND single! I now refuse to apologize to her for anything; I refuse!

**Mary Frances:** That's mature. It's not like she went and broke them up! I don't know why you are insisting on being this way!

**Erik **_***crosses arms***_**:** I still refuse! She is unforgiveable at this point!

**Mary Frances:** You are impossible! And just as freaking stubborn as Lauren!

**Erik:** No I'm not! Don't compare me to…_it._

**Mary Frances:** …"It"? _Really?_

**Erik:** _It's_ name shall no longer be spoken here!

**Mary Frances:** That won't catch on. No one's going to call Laur—

**Erik:** IT!

**Mary Frances:** I can't believe this. You know you're going to have to share a room with her tonight, since we succeeded in destroying the ceiling of your room.

**Erik:** I will not sleep in that room tonight! The place even smells like _it!_

**Mary Frances:** What the frick? Erik, you do realize this is your fault, too, don't you?

**Erik:** No it's no—uh, well, it's…it's more _it's_ fault than mine!

**Mary Frances:** Erik, you don't need to make this an ongoing thing. I'm sure if you just say you're sorry, she will, as well.

**Erik:** No, you lie!

**Mary Frances:** How can yo—

**Me:** _***come back in, gets back to work on Erik's Masquerade getup***_

**Erik:** _***gets up and leaves without a word***_

**Mary Frances **_***attempts to make conversation, going back to her own dress***_**:** So…what's…new?

**Me:** Nothing much, really.

**Mary Frances **_***slowly, hesitantly, afraid of a blowup***_**:** Well…um, out of curiosity…are you…still going to the…Masquerade ball…as Erik's date?

**Me:** I'm not going with _that_…

**Mary Frances **_***exasperatedly groans***_**:** _Oh my God_, REALLY?

**Me:** No, I won't, not until I receive an apology from _that_…

**Mary Frances:** _What is it with you two and names?_

**Me **_***gives her an odd look before brushing it off***_**:** Anyway…come to think of it, Mary Frances, you are without a date…

**Mary Frances:** If you are insinuating that _I_ should go with Erik instead, you are _sadly_ mistaken!

**Me:** No, no, of course not! I was merely pointing out you need one!

**Mary Frances:** Oh, well, I was talking to Vanessa the other day and she said I could go with Erique—

**Me:** NO! No, you aren't!

**Mary Frances:** Uh…okay…then who do you suggest I go with?

**Me:** Er…just don't make plans to go with anyone!

**Mary Frances:** What? You want me to go alone?

**Me:** Just trust me, I'm sure someone will come along.

**Mary Frances:** Whatever, Narnie.

Silence falls for a brief while before—

**Me:** May Princess?

**Mary Frances:** Yes?

**Me:** Will…uh…do you think Erik will…still be able to have kids?

**Mary Frances:** _***stares at her in disbelief at such an uncalled for question***_

* * *

_Good Lord, the conversations we have at home! Will everything fall in place for our Masquerade ball? Will Erik and I ever make up? Will Raoul actually succeed at styling our hair? Was I really telling the truth when I explained why a trunk is on my bed? And how will we ever pay for the repairs for our roof and Erik's ceiling? Find out in the exciting new chapter of "More Tales of Phantom Hysterics", chapter 20, 'Masquerade! More Hysterics on Parade!' _

_Anyway, we apologize for the ridiculously long wait for this little update! Things picked up again after I posted the previous chapter and I had the usual, yet occasional stupid writer's block… But now, believe it or not, the next chapter is going to be THE MASQUERADE BALL! We can't wait to see you all then!_

_Don't forget to review because reviews equal happy Lauren and Mary Frances! Plus, they are your key to attending our upcoming Phangirl get-togethers! We love you all!_


	20. Masquerade! More Hysterics on Parade! P1

_Masquerade! More Hysterics on Parade! Part 1_

The next day, everyone is busy doing their own thing, getting ready for the big Masquerade ball that evening!…well…almost everyone…

**Mary Frances **_***in the kitchen, standing by the microwave, waiting for it to go off***_**:** Lay down, Erik, it's almost finished…

**Erik **_***in the den, on one of the couches***_**:** Please hurry! Ughh…for God's sake, what did I ever do to deserve this? _***pauses***_ Don't answer that… _***goes back to complaining***_ Good Lord, my back has never been in more pain!

**Raoul **_***sitting at the island bar with Christine, calls to Erik***_**:** That's your own dang fault, now shut up; you're making me lose my concentration!

**Mary Frances **_***to Raoul***_**:** …painting Christine's nails for her?

**Raoul:** Well, she can't do them herself with this busted wrist and all!

**Christine:** And besides, he does a better job than I've ever been able to! _***holds up hand to show her***_

**Mary Frances **_***observes her perfect, pink nails***_**:** Nice, I love the color! _***takes something out of the microwave***_ I'm just relieved it isn't the other way around and you're doing Raoul's nails…

**Christine:** Oh no, we've already finished his!

**Raoul **_***Cheshire cat grin, holds up his hand and shows her the glossy coat of clear nail polish***_**:** See? Shiny!

**Mary Frances **_***only slightly taken aback***_**:** How, er…lovely…_***mumbles* **__Why is this normal?_

**Erik **_***impatiently calls***_**:** HELLO! Man in pain over here and in need of a serious remedy _this instant_!

**Mary Frances **_***comes into the den***_**:** Alright, alright, Mr. Cranky Pants! Here, _***hands him the heated rice relief bag***_ put that under where it hurts the worst…

**Erik **_***does so***_**:** What is this thing?

**Mary Frances **_***sits on the armrest next to his head***_**:** It's a rice bag, you heat it up in the microwave and then lay it on the body part that's in pain. It's Lauren's secret to relief of all body aches.

**Erik:** For when it's "that time of the month", no doubt?

**Mary Frances **_***nearly smacks him***_**:** What did I tell you about saying that? Lauren will come out of nowhere and destroy you! And you will _die_!

**Erik:** That actually sounds nicer than the pain I'm experiencing now!

**Mary Frances:** Well, I _told_ you that the couches are no good for sleeping on and that one night in Lauren's room wasn't going to kill you, but NO! You insisted on sleeping out here and ruining your back right before the Masquer—

**Erik **_***snaps at her***_**:** Alright, I get it!

**Mary Frances:** …and you're mood hasn't improved either! At least you're not demanding the banishment of Lauren's name…

**Erik **_***sighs***_**:** I'm quite beyond that little fiasco now…

**Mary Frances **_***pats him on the shoulder***_**:** Good, 'cause that was completely immature.

**Erik:**_***murmurs a grudging agreement***_

**Mary Frances:** Now all that's left is to actually apologize to her and everything can go back to normal!

**Erik **_***now frowning***_**:** I doubt that. What's the point now? Lauren still won't speak with me and pretty much hates me now _and_ still wants to get with that David kid… _***sighs***_ This ball is going to be an absolute disaster if she won't even look at me, let alone go with me as my date!

**Mary Frances:** Well, actually…I talked to her yesterday after you left.

**Erik **_***urges her on***_**:** And?

**Mary Frances:** She said she would still go with you, as a date…if she received a sincere apology!

**Erik:** …is there anything else I can do instead?

**Mary Frances **_***sighs***_**:** Erik, you will apologize, won't you?

**Erik:** Sure…how about right after she finishes going on and on about good, young, cute, and single David? I'm willing to bet she's already gone and asked _him_ to tag along as her date tonight!

**Mary Frances **_***shakes head***_**:** Erik, don't be ridiculous! David is just about the complete opposite of Lauren and she barely knows him! She just has a little crush on him and you know how she is, she's easily romanced into childish fantasies of the phrase "What if…?". Come on, Erik, you know Lauren loves y—_***stops herself***_

**Erik **_***looks over at her sharply***_**:** …what did you say?

**Mary Frances **_***stammers***_**:** I…er…um…well… _***sighs, then looks directly into Erik's eyes***_ Okay, listen: she loves you. She might not admit it yet, but she does. I can see it in the way she looks at you, talks to you, even yells at you! You just have to get her to open up and let her know that you return those feelings. And I know for a fact you return them, so all you really have to do is win her heart over!

**Erik:** _***doesn't know what to say***_

**Mary Frances:** _***catches Raoul and Christine listening in from the kitchen, shoots them a murderous death glare***_

**Christine & Raoul:** _***immediately turn back to their nails, humming in an innocent fashion***_

**Erik **_***finally finds his voice***_**:** How am I supposed to win her heart over when she won't even _look_ at me?

**Mary Frances **_***encouragingly places hand on his shoulder***_**:** You can start by apologizing and talking it over with her. And I'm willing to help you in any way I can, seeing as I know her like the back of my own hand…

**Erik **_***takes her hand in his and squeezes it in appreciation***_**:** Thank you, my dear partner in crime.

**Mary Frances:** You're very welcome, my dear partner in crime.

**Erik **_***smiles at her before absentmindedly getting up from the couch***_**:** Well…wish me luck, it's time to make things righ—_***realizes his back is no longer in any pain whatsoever, glances down at the rice bag***_

**Erik:** What in the world? The rice bag is magic!

**Mary Frances:**_***facepalm***_

And with that, Erik went off to confront me.

**Raoul **_***now blowing Christine's nails dry***_**:** Well, I'm glad that's over with…

**Mary Frances **_***joins them in the kitchen***_**:** Hm…I find that incredibly hard to believe…you know, since YOU'RE the one who caused it all!

**Raoul **_***looks over at her, aghast***_**:** _Me?_ What did _I_ do?

**Mary Frances:** If you hadn't been snooping around on Lauren's Facebook and decided to publicize the fact that David, who you know that Lauren has a little crush on, is now single, none of this would have happened!

**Raoul:** Well, I didn't know Erik would get as jealous as he did! If you ask me, he was the one who overreacted and made such a big deal out of everything!

**Mary Frances:** Oh no, I think you knew perfectly well what you were doing to him…and Lauren. So you listen to me and you listen closely, RaFop… _***makes the "p" in RaFop pop* **_If you _ever_ purposely mess with their budding relationship again, I'm gonna make you pay…_through the hair_!

**Raoul **_***eyes widen, grabs at his wig protectively***_**:** _You wouldn't!_

**Mary Frances **_***threateningly***_**:** _What makes you think I wouldn't?_

Erik then comes into the kitchen, looking quite distraught.

**Mary Frances **_***assumes the worst***_**:** Oh no, what happened?

**Erik:** Guys, I can't find Lauren! She's not in her room!

**Christine:** Come to think of it, I haven't seen her at all today.

**Mary Frances:** Neither have I!

**Erik **_***suddenly enraged***_**:** …you don't think she's…with HIM?

**Mary Frances:** Oh for God's sake, Erik, that is utterly ridiculous! I'll go check the garage and see if either of the cars are gone!

She quickly went down the hall and into the garage.

**Mary Frances **_***reenters the kitchen***_**:** The Mustang's gone…she must have left without telling us.

**Erik:** Yes, but where she _went_ is the real problem here!

**Mary Frances:** Would you stop assuming she's with David and calm down? We just had this conversation two minutes ago!

**Christine:** Maybe she went to go get her nails done or out shopping for something for the Masquerade?

**Mary Frances:** Yes, more than likely.

**Raoul **_***claps hands together excitedly***_**:** Well, while we wait for her return, how about I get started on everybody's hair?

**Mary Frances & Christine:** Yeah, sounds good! _***head down to my bathroom***_

**Raoul **_***says to Erik, who is now looking for something to drink in the fridge***_**:** You know, Erik, I could do your hair for you, too.

**Erik **_***while not looking at Raoul and pouring a glass of tea***_**:** You touch one hair on my head, and you won't have any on your own!

**Raoul:** _***takes off upstairs to get his equipment***_

About an hour later, everyone's still down in my bathroom, including Erik, who is merely sitting on the edge of the bathtub, watching. Christine, who's hair is curled to perfection and adorned with little floral barrettes that match her Masquerade dress, is seated on the counter. Raoul, whose wig is rolled up in hot rollers, is putting the finishing touches on Mary Frances' hair, who is sitting in front of the mirror.

**Raoul **_***stops spraying hairspray***_**:** Alright, I'm done!

**Mary Frances **_***examining her now perfect hair***_**:** _How did you DO that?_

**Raoul:** I can do your makeup for you, as well, if you want! I'm doing Christine's—

Abruptly, a loud thump is heard from my bedroom.

**Christine **_***eyes wide with fear***_**:** …did you hear that?

**Mary Frances **_***approaching the door cautiously***_**:** Yeah…

**Raoul:** _***hides behind Christine, starts hyperventilating***_

**Erik **_***steps forward***_**:** Mary Frances, let me go first… _***dramatically***_ But if anything happens…to me…please…tell Lauren that I—

**Mary Frances **_***through her teeth***_**:** JUST OPEN THE FRICKIN DOOR!

He shuts up and does so…to reveal me slamming my closet door shut with a _bang_!

**Everybody:** _Lauren!_

**Mary Frances:** Where have you been?

**Me **_***trying to find a good excuse, but fails and seems overly giddy***_**:** Uh, you know…hereandthereandeverywhere…um…upanddownandallaround, you know what I mean hehehehe…

Everyone exchanges strange glances, but decide that it would be best not to ask any questions.

**Raoul **_***breaks the awkward silence***_**:** Anyway, Lauren, I think it's time we started on your hair!

I follow him into the bathroom and within an hour and a half, my hair is curled to absolute perfection and the front is pinned up and styled like a movie star's.

**Raoul **_***finishes spraying hairspray***_**:** Aaaand…voila! You're done!

**Me **_***astonished at my appearance***_**:** _How did you DO that?_

**Raoul:** I do makeup, too!

**Me:** No, that's quite alright, I can do that myself.

**Raoul:** Suit yourself, I gotta take these rollers out and do my makeup—I mean, do _Christine's_ makeup!

He gathers all his hairstyling equipment and scurries out of the bathroom while I start applying my makeup at the vanity, all the while listening to my favorite Nickleback song…which was the only song that really brought me comfort ever since Erik and I had hit this rough time or whatever it is…

**Me **_***singing along while putting on eyeliner***_**:** _I love you, I have loved you all along. And I miss you, been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go. Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore…_

After fifteen minutes, I finally finish and start putting it all away, but still listening to 'Far Away' for the fifth time in a row.

**Figure in the Doorway:** _***clears throat***_

I look up in surprise to see Erik leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed.

**Me:** Hey… _***smiles slightly and turns off music before turning back to my makeup***_

**Erik:** Can I talk to you?

**Me:** Sure.

He pulls up a seat, sits in front of me, and takes my hands in his.

**Erik **_***concentrating on our hands***_**:** Lauren, dear…I want to apologize for how impudently I acted that night after 'Once Upon a Mattress'. I've come to understand it is the source of the tension between us and I deeply regret treating you in such an appalling fashion. I want you to know that I am truly sorry and hope I can make it up to you somehow. _***finally glances up and makes eye contact***_

**Me **_***smiles and gives his hands a reassuring squeeze***_**:** Hey, it's fine…thank you for your apology. Don't worry about it anymore because it's in the past, alright? _***bites lip, looks down***_ I also want to apologize…I kind of overreacted about the whole thing in the first place; I know you didn't do any of it on purpose and you weren't in your right mind… I guess I just wasn't expecting so much affection all in one night.

We both share a little laugh before I continue with my apology.

**Me:** I'm sorry for being so mean to you yesterday…and for sticking you with a pin down there._** *quickly adds***_ But I really didn't mean to do that, regardless of what Raoul has been saying!

**Erik **_***laughs***_**:** It's quite alright. Like you said, it's all in the past. Come here…

He pulls me into an embrace and we both sit in silence while I breathe in his musty, yet intoxicating scent. _God, does he just naturally smell this good or does he have some amazing cologne? I need that cologne…_

**Me **_***sighs contentedly as he releases me***_**:** Well…I don't know about you, but I feel like an enormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders!

**Erik:** Couldn't have said it better myself… _***suddenly tenses up***_ So, now that we're actually speaking to each other and on good terms again…does this mean you'll go with me to the Masquerade ball…as my date?

**Me **_***smiles***_**:** Of course!

**Erik **_***exhales sharply in relief***_**:** Okay, good! Wow, I feel _so_ much better!

**Me:** _***giggles before getting up, gathering my Masquerade dress, and going behind the changing screen***_

**Erik **_***stands and leans against the counter, attempts to make conversation***_**:** So, um, out of mere curiosity…before I came in, I noticed you kept repeating that one song? 'Far Away', is it called? Or something along those lines?

**Me **_***changing behind the screen, rather puzzled by his interest in my music selection***_**:** Oh yeah, it's my favorite right now.

**Erik **_***thoughtful***_**:** Huh…yes, well, I must say, it's a very nice song.

**Me **_***still behind the screen***_**:** So are you excited about this ball or what? After all the hard work we've been doing to pull it off has finally paid off for this one, amazing night!

**Erik:** Oh yes, I'm actually looking quite forward to it now that…well, you know…we're speaking again and all…

**Me:** Yeah, I know!

**Erik:** I mean, in all honesty, it would have been just a little awkward ballroom dancing together if we wouldn't even make eye contact with each oth—_***stops as I reemerge from behind the screen***_

I watch with satisfaction as his eyes widen in amazement, seeing that I'm now clad in my handmade ball gown. It is a strapless, deep red dress with dark, floral decals all across the bust and down half of the voluminous, floor length skirt.

**Me **_***holding the dress to my chest to keep it from falling down***_**:** So…what do you think?

**Erik **_***speechless***_**:** _Wow…_

**Me **_***laughs***_**:** I thought so… Will you zip me up? _***turns around to reveal my bare back***_

**Erik **_***suddenly very hesitant***_**:** …of course…

I hear him step forward and feel the warmth of his touch as he zips the dress. When he finally reaches the top, the tips of his fingers drift across the back of my shoulders, leaving a trail of erupting goose bumps on the surface of my skin and sending a shiver down my spine, making me turn to face him.

**Me **_***smiles, murmuring softly***_**:** Thank you…good monsieur…

**Erik **_***caresses my cheek, says in an equally low, sensual tone***_**:** The pleasure was all mine…dear mademoiselle…

We're so close now and instinctively begin to lean in towards one another. I'm so caught up in the moment, I feel my eyes close and know it's only a matter of time before our lips finally meet—

**Mary Frances **_***shrieks from my bedroom***_**:** LAUREEEEN!

Erik and I immediately jump apart in alarm and rush out of the bathroom together to see what happened…but I already knew the answer…

**Erik **_***practically breaks the door down***_**:** Mary Frances! Are you okay? What happened?

The first thing we noticed was that Mary Frances was now wearing her Masquerade dress and her makeup was finished. Her dress was a beautiful blue, strapless ball gown with a voluminous, ruffled skirt. Like mine, the bust is decorated with little sequins and other decals. Two faux roses are attached to the hip. Combine her dress, movie star hair, and stunning makeup, she's looking as radiant as ever! The second thing we noticed…well, just read on…

**Mary Frances **_***standing in complete shock next to my open closet door***_**:** Lauren…_why is there a man tied up in your closet?_

**Me **_***knowing that I was in trouble now***_**:** Uh..._***slides between Mary Frances and the door, tries to hide the man from view***_ What man?

**Mary Frances **_***looks over my shoulder and back down to the man; then speaks with her surprise evident in her voice***_**:**_The Gerard Butler man tied up in your closet._

True to her word, it is none other than the sexy, world-famous Scotsman himself! He is currently unconscious on the floor of my closet, his arms and legs bound with rope. His dark brown hair is quite tousled and he's wearing regular everyday clothing. So, to sum up, he's looking rather rough…for once…

**Mary Frances:** _***speechless, staring in utter disbelief***_

**Erik:** _***standing next to me, utterly confused***_

**Me:** …happy early birthday to the most beautiful, amazing, and perfect best friend in the whole wide world? _***smiles awkwardly***_

**Mary Frances:** _***apparently still in shock, does not reply***_

**Erik **_***shatters the uncomfortable silence***_**:** …okay, I'm lost, who is he?

**Me **_***exasperatingly***_**:** Wow, y'all are slow today! Mary Frances, the one and only _Gerard Butler_ is sitting in front of you and all you're gonna do is _stare_ at him? And Erik, he is pretty much your "creator", so to speak!

**Mary Frances **_***finally speaks, but in an exasperated voice***_**:**_You kidnapped Gerard Butler! _

**Erik **_***puts 2 and 2 together***_**:** WAIT, WHAT? THE DUDE FROM THE MOVIE? HOW DID YOU—

**Gerry:**_** *starts to come to***_

**Mary Frances & Erik:** _***suddenly cling to one another with wide eyes***_

**Me:** _***rolls eyes and approaches Gerry***_

**Gerry **_***groans***_**:** Oh God, my head… _***notices me, smirks***_ Well, hello, darlin'… _***winks at me***_ Fancy wakin' up nexta ya, eh?

**Me**_***smirks and blushes before melting into giddiness***_**:** Hehe…yeah…fancy…

Upon seeing this, Erik releases Mary Frances, but crosses his arms disapprovingly and raises a questionable eyebrow at us.

**Gerry **_***observes my appearance, furrows his brow***_**:** Now, what is this getup you're wearin'?

**Me **_***smoothes the front of my dress***_**:** Do you like it? I made it myself…

**Gerry **_***chuckles incredulously***_**:** Made it yer—? _***looks around, realizes he's no longer in New York and that he's tied up in an unfamiliar closet***_ WHERE THE _***BLEEP!***_ AM I? _***stops***_…what the _***BLEEP***_ wa—_***surprised again as the BLEEP machine goes off***_…What the _***BLEEP***_…_***BLEEP***_…_***stops trying to swear***_…what is _that_?

**Me:** Okay, first off, _that_ was our "Bleep Machine". We installed it in case any infrequent, offensive language is used…but now that you're here, it will probably end up overheating and dying at some point!

**Gerry:** _***stares at me like I've sprouted a second head***_

**Me **_***continues***_**:** And second off…now please don't freak out…but you are now in my closet in our cozy home in the South.

**Gerry:** _***paling before my eyes, now in complete shock***_

**Erik **_***suddenly cuts in impatiently***_**:** I'm still oblivious as to why he's tied up in your closet!

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, what is he even doing here in the first place?

Before I could reply, Raoul and Christine both busted through the doors, looking quite breathless. Christine's makeup is now finished and Raoul's wig is perfectly swishy…and, believe it or not, wearing a little too much makeup…

**Gerry **_***takes one look at them***_**:** What in the name of—?

**Christine **_***pulls Mary Frances into a rib-crushing, air-cutting-off hug***_**:** Mary Frances! Raouly-Bear and I were so worried that Erik was trying to strangle you because he screwed up your good advice!

**Raoul:** We would have come sooner, but hair and makeup had to come first!

**Mary Frances **_***while struggling to breathe**_***:** _Erik...didn't mess up...advice...he...__***runs out of air***_

**Raoul **_***calmly as ever***_**:** Chrissy-Poo, I think you're killing her.

**Christine **_***just as calm***_**:** Whoops. _***lets go***_

**Mary Frances: **_***nearly falls over, but is caught by Erik, takes in a deep breath***_**:** Okay, I think I'm good.

**Me **_***absolutely flabbergasted, says to Christine***_**:** "Whoops"? _That's it?_ You nearly killed my May Princess! And you have little faith in Erik!

**Christine:** You haven't seen him do anything insane yet.

**Me:** …you're kidding right? Anyway, perfect timing, you two! I was just getting ready to introduce everybody! Gerry, I want you to meet my _gorgeous_ best friend, Mary Frances!

**Gerry **_***taken aback by Mary Frances' stunning appearance***_**:** Pleasure ta meet ya, sweetheart… _***wink***_

**Mary Frances **_***almost sing-song-y in her shock***_**:** _Oh my God..._

**Me **_***smiles triumphantly before getting back to introductions***_**:** And you should know the rest of these guys… Meet the dumb fop, Raoul, his naïve wife, Christine, and the Phantom of the Opera himself, Erik!

_**Gerry *puts this (Erik), that (Christine), and the other (RaFop) together*:**_ How the _***blee—*rolls eyes and gives up* **_But this…it…this just can't…this cannot happen! It's not possible because…it can't!

**Me **_***abstractedly examining my nails***_**:** Yeah, trust me, that was my same reaction, but it's apparently about as possible as kidnapping a movie star in the middle of a bar, taking him across state lines on a plane, and ending up with him tied up in your closet…

**Raoul **_***to Gerry***_**:** Nice to meet you, hot stuff, I've heard a lot about you.

**Christine:** Oohhhh, so _that's_ what you were up to last night, huh, Lauren?

**Me:** _***nods proudly***_

**Erik **_***sardonically***_**:** Pleasure to meet you, creator. I never would have thought I'd actually get to meet you…while you're tied up in a closet…

**Mary Frances **_***darkly***_**:** Erik…

**Erik **_***smirks***_**:** I can't help it.

**Mary Frances **_***mumbles under her breath***_**:** Of course; typical Erik.

**Erik:** I heard that!

**Christine **_***cuts in***_**:** Let's get back on subject.

**Raoul **_***eager to see someone get in trouble***_**:** I agree!

**Erik:** No one cares about your opinion, fop.

**Raoul:** What is that supposed to mean?

**Erik **_***sighs, rolls eyes***_**:** I thought I was being pretty straight-forward, your thoughts don't count.

**Raoul:** Don't count? Towards what?

**Erik:** Anything.

Raoul looked as though he was going to protest, but then, seemingly decided against it.

**Me **_***after a moment of silence***_**:** Wow, I'm almost impressed, fopster.

**Erik **_***incredulously***_**:** What?

**Me:** He was just about to pick a fight with you, Erik!

Erik looked slightly as though his pride was hurt, but quickly bounced back.

**Erik:** He still hasn't gained any respect from anyone.

**Mary Frances:** He's gained some from me…

**Erik & Raoul:** WHAT?

**Mary Frances:** …not.

**Raoul **_***hangs head***_**:** Aw...

**Christine:** Weren't we supposed to get back on subject?

There was a mix of "okays", "yeahs", and "rights" before Mary Frances rounded upon me.

**Mary Frances:** Alright, Lauren, cut the crap, you have some serious explaining to do!

**Me:** Well, I _told you_ that you needed a date for tonight! And so…I got you one…ta da!

**Gerry:** DATE? I'm not takin' ya, crazy woman! I might have fallen for it last night, but—

**Me **_***quickly interrupts him***_**:** Not me! You're taking Mary Frances to our big Masquerade ball! Besides, you'll like her! Not only is she gorgeous, but she's also more normal! Well, she is most of the time, anyway…

**Mary Frances **_***comes back out of her shock on my comment, sarcastically***_**:** Thanks, Narnie.

**Me **_***ignores her***_**:** Remember, Erik? I told you the truth about why there was a trunk on my bed; you just refused to believe me!

**Erik:** _***opens his mouth to protest***_

**Mary Frances **_***cuts him short***_**:** So, you're telling me that you flew to New York City last night—

**Erik **_***finishes her sentence***_**:**—and abducted a movie star?

**Me **_***thinks for a second***_**:** …yep, that about sums it up!

**Mary Frances:** How on Earth did you even find him?

**Me:** Oh that was the easy part! I just stopped by the nearest pub and found him there!

**Erik **_***cautiously***_**:** What was the hard part? _***turns to Mary Frances***_ I'm scared I asked.

**Me:** Convincing him to see how many beers he could drink in one hour. Or was it getting him out of sight and into the trunk? Or was it sneaking him through airport security…? _***ponders that thought***_

**Erik & Mary Frances:** _***stare in total disbelief***_

**Raoul **_***excitedly***_**:** How many beers did he drink?

**Me:** More than Erik could ever handle!

**Mary Frances **_***speaks again***_**:** Lauren, if you've been up all last night, how do you expect to make it through tonight?

**Me:** It's called soda and chocolate… They're the only reason I'm standing right now. _***mumbles***_ You wouldn't believe it, but it's been quite a rough night…

**Raoul **_***just as excitedly as before***_**:** How many sodas did you drin—

**Erik **_***cuts in, demands***_**:** What's _that_ supposed to mean?

**Me:** Well…

FLASHBACK TO THE PREVIOUS NIGHT

_New York City was amazing. Lights burned in the night sky, making the sky seem darker and the stars disappear. But as much as I'd have loved to stay and take in the sights, I had a job to get done, and only three hours to complete it. Plus, it's quite chilly out in the streets if you're only wearing a short jean skirt and a rather flirty top…_

_After finally removing my shoes (dumbest decision of the night…so far: wandering around New York City, wearing fancy, high heeled shoes), I asked around until a person directed me towards Gerry Butler's neighborhood. As I walked that direction, I happened to look over to my left and see a pub. What's more, I saw my target through the front window._

_**Me *smiles deviously*:**__ Showtime!_

_I walked inside after flashing a twenty at the man checking licenses. He took the money without a word and granted me entry._

_I went straight towards Gerry with a plan already in mind. Every man is somewhat competitive, so I'd use that against him. And, of course, if that fails, I always have my backup plan._

_I sat a seat away from Gerry and ordered the cheapest beer listed, but didn't dare touch it. It's hard enough to stay focused on getting his attention when the only thing that's going through your mind is _"Oh my God, I'm sitting three feet away from Gerard Butler, oh my God!"

_Finally, he looked in my direction and I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was checking me out. Huh, I guess my promiscuous outfit came in handy after all!_

_After some small-talk, I had convinced the already tipsy Gerry that I had drunken more beers than he had ever within an hour. He couldn't let that fly, so he decided to prove that he could drink more than me, all the while flirting with me. What he didn't realize was that I'd never had a sip of beer in my life._

_My objective was for him to drink himself into unconsciousness, so that all I would have to do is drag him into a nearby alley, tie him up, and stuff him in the trunk I had brought along with me. But that didn't go as planned…_

_Seriously, how many more beers was it going to take? I had lost count in the last half-hour, but I knew Erik would surely die if he drank even half of what I knew Gerry had so far. And yet, he was still sitting there next to me, as conscious as ever even while downing another!_

_At last, I decided it was time to forget Plan A and move on to Plan B…_

_I smoothly made my way into his lap and suggested we carry on this conversation elsewhere—_

**Erik **_***heatedly interrupts flashback***_**:** WHOA WHOA! Just where are you going with this "flashback"?

**Me:** …into the street?

**Mary Frances:** Honestly, Erik, is your brain hardwired to think like that?

**Erik:** _***grumbles***_

_Anyway, as I was saying—_

_Gerry agreed with a low, drunken chuckle…but what happened after that caught me completely by surprise: I felt his hand naughtily snake up the back of my shirt and try to force me into a kiss! Immediately out of instinct, I snatched the beer bottle from the bar counter and smashed it over his head, instantly knocking him unconscious. Well…I admit that was easier than anticipated…_

_Thankfully, no one paid much attention as I dragged him from the bar into a nearby alleyway. There, I quickly gagged him, bound his hands, arms, legs, and feet, and stuffed him into my trunk._

_**Me *mumbles regrettably*:**__ I'm sorry…_

_I felt somewhat guilty about illegally kidnapping him…and for that heck of a hangover he's going to have in the morning!_

_Anyway, I used all my strength to get him inside a taxi. ALL my strength. Honestly, it took forever just to get to the street! The taxi drove us to the airport. After paying the taxi driver, I carried him inside the airport and came up with a plan to get him through airport security in about…15.7 seconds._

**Erik **_***cuts in the flashback***_**:** Wait, why didn't you just say "16 seconds"? Wouldn't rounding it have been easier?

**Me:** I'm not good at math.

**Erik **_***stares blankly***_**:** But you just—

**Mary Frances:** Erik, you're going to confuse her.

**Erik:** _I'm_ going to confuse her? She counted every millisecond to total her time—

**Me:** How do you count a millisecond?

**Erik:** What? Now I'm confused.

**Mary Frances:** I usually understand where she's coming from, but I'm lost on this one.

**Me:** I didn't count any milliseconds.

**Erik & Mary Frances:** Yes, you did!

**Gerry **_***quietly, not to disturb the conversation going on next to him, to Christine and Raoul***_**:**Is it always like this in this place?

**Raoul:** What?

**Gerry:** I said: is it always like this in this place?

**Raoul:** Huh?

**Gerry:** Is it always like this in this place?

**Raoul:** I can't understand your funny accent.

**Gerry:** _Is it always insanity in this blasted place?_

**Raoul:** Oh…I still can't understand you.

**Gerry:**_***BLEEP***_!

**Raoul:** I understood that.

**Christine:**Raouly, he asked if it's always crazy in this house. To answer your question, man-whose-name-I-cannot-remember, yes, but actually it's not that bad today; it's usually—AGH! _***screams like it's the end of the world, ending both conversations***_

**Everyone except Gerry:** WHAT ON EARTH?

**Christine:** My nail polish chipped!

**Gerry **_***exasperatingly***_**:** Ya have _gotta_ be kidding me…

**Raoul:**AGH!_***screams in the same pitch***_

**Christine:**AGH! _***screams again***_

**Raoul & Christine:** AGH! _***both scream before taking off to fix Christine's nail***_

**Mary Frances:** Anyways…please continue, Lauren.

_I bought a ticket then put the suitcase with Gerry inside on the conveyer belt thing-a-ma-jig. I knew they did the scan thing, so I snuck into the scanner-room where the only person watching the thing was this nerdy college student. It wasn't hard to distract him… Man, I'm starting to feel like a hoe._

_After that, I got on the plane, got off the plane, and came straight home, but only after stopping for a serious amount of chocolate and soda._

**Me:** The end! _***smiles triumphantly***_

**Gerry:** So, let me git this straight…ya abducted me ta take yer best friend to a Masquerade ball?

**Me:** Yeah, so?

**Gerry:** An' after it's over…I'm free ta go back ta New York?

**Me:** …eh, more or less.

Silence falls and we all stare at each other awkwardly.

**Erik:** Well…I'm hungry.

**Me:** Me too. _***begins to leave with Erik***_

**Mary Frances **_***calls after us***_**:** Aren't you forgetting someone?

**Me:** Oh, of course! Do you want a turkey or ham sandwich, May Princess?

**Mary Frances:** I was referring to the man tied up in the closet…

**Me:** I'll tell you thank you in advance for untying him.

**Mary Frances:** I don't know how to untie these knots! They look impossible to undo!

**Me:** Thank you!

**Mary Frances:** Narnie!

**Me:** Just use a knife.

**Mary Frances **_***lowly***_**:** Lauren.

**Me:** I can't do it! You saw what happened last time.

**Mary Frances:** I highly doubt that will happen again.

**Me:** I'm sure sticking someone with a knife down there hurts a good bit more than sticking someone with a pin down there! And the last thing I want to do is make the infamous Gerard Butler a eunuch…

Gerry looked at Mary Frances with a terrified look in his eyes. She sighed and dropped to her knees to try and untangle the King-Kongs of all knots.

**Gerry:** …what happened with the pin?

**Mary Frances **_***while trying to loosen the knots***_**:** It's a long, long story that you probably don't wanna hear about.

**Gerry:** That bad, huh?

**Mary Frances:** Well, that all depends.

**Gerry:** On what?

**Mary Frances:** If you look at what went on or if you look at the outcome.

**Gerry:** Oh…are the others really…"Phantom" characters?

**Mary Frances **_***nods***_**:** Believe it or not.

**Gerry:** Oh…how in God's name did fictional characters get here?

**Mary Frances:** Well, formerly fictional. We…honestly don't know.

**Gerry:** How'd ya find 'em?

**Mary Frances:** Lauren found the Phantom at the lake…in a gondola.

**Gerry:** What?

**Mary Frances:** I dunno… I found Raoul and Christine at the park on the other side of the neighborhood.

**Gerry:** Wow. Have ya asked 'em how they got here?

**Mary Frances **_***frees his legs from the rope, sarcastically***_**:** You know, that's a good idea; hadn't thought about that one!

**Gerry **_***laughs***_**:** That's a "duh" on my part.

**Mary Frances **_***laughs with him***_**:** Yes, we've asked them. All they know is one second they're in the year 1871…then the next, in the 21st century.

**Gerry:** That's some strange _***bleep!***_ if I've ever heard any… _***looks up at her**_* So…ya live 'round here?

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, actually I live here.

**Gerry:** Ya live with the loons?

**Mary Frances:** They're not loons!…alright, I take that back, they are a bunch of loons. But they came from fictional Paris in the 1800s…they're just having trouble adapting…believe it or not, the way they're acting now is progress.

**Gerry:** What about Lauren?

**Mary Frances:** Lauren pretty much runs everything in this household and keeps it mostly under control, so she has an excuse. She has to deal with everything around here.

**Gerry:** Like what?

**Mary Frances:** Well…Raoul screams at the drop of a pin. Christine…she's usually sensible, unlike today, but we have had to take her to the hospital on a regular basis. I'm sure you noticed the cast on her wrist? Yeah, and Erik…well, we have to replace the roof…but that's still his fault and not mine!

**Gerry:**_***puzzled look***_

**Mary Frances **_***sighs***_**:**I thought the fireworks were duds, he lit them anyway…they weren't duds…

**Gerry **_***laughs***_**:** An' what about you?

**Mary Frances:** I'm Lauren's best friend and second in command when she's not around, which is rare. I help her out around the house half the time…the other half I'm probably doing something stupid that makes her blow up at me.

**Gerry:** So Lauren…she brought me here ta take ya to a dance?

**Mary Frances:** Oh, you don't have to go! I can't believe she did this; she's never done something _so_ illegal! I'm sure there's a flight to New York tonight.

**Gerry:** I can't pass up a good party; I think I can stay awhile.

**Mary Frances**_** *frees his hands***_**:** You don't have to.

**Gerry **_***looks into her eyes*:**_ I know, but _***pauses and runs a finger along her jaw* **_I want to. _***smiles at her***_

**Mary Frances:**_***smiles back before helping him up***_

**Gerry:** Ya wanna join the others?

**Mary Frances:** Can you handle it?

**Gerry **_***takes her hand in his***_**:** Time ta find out.

They both laugh before heading out.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen… I immediately head for the fridge, but Erik seems to have different ideas. He suddenly jumped in front of me, picked me up from under the arms as if I was a small child, and sat me down on the counter so that I was level with him.

**Me:** Hey! Erik, what are you doing? Put me down! Aren't you hungry? You just said—

**Erik **_***leans against the counter between my legs with his hands resting on the sides of my waist***_**:** I only said that so that we could get out of there and I could reprimand you in privacy.

**Me **_***laughs***_**:** Reprimand me? When did you become my father?

**Erik **_***fights back the urge to retort***_**:** Look, what you did last night was very dangerous! I cannot believe you travelled overnight out of state to New York on your own without telling anyone where you were going!

**Me:** I did tell you I was going, remember? You just didn't believe me.

**Erik:** Yes, but the _way_ you told me made it seem very far-fetched.

**Me:** But at least I went for a good reason! Now Mary Frances has the perfect date!

**Erik:** Indeed…but it was still very dangerous to go alone like that! _***grasps my arms***_ Lauren, you could have gotten yourself killed, or been abducted yourself, or even worse! _***sighs and lets go***_ If anything, you could have asked me to accompany you.

**Me:** Oh yeah, that would have gone over just great with you: "Hey Erik, you wanna hop the next plane to New York City with me so we can go and abduct your world-famous "creator" so he can attend our Masquerade ball as Mary Frances' date?"

**Erik:** It would have been better than taking off in the middle of the night without a word to anyone.

**Me:** I wanted it to be a surprise! And besides, we weren't on speaking terms at the time…and I tend to do crazy things when I'm upset…

**Erik:** But do you understand that was very irresponsible of you?

**Me **_***looks down, pouts***_**:** Yes…I'm sorry…

**Erik **_***sighs, tips my chin up to make me look into his eyes***_**:** Now, with all that aside, you have to promise me you will never do that again, okay?

**Me **_***still sulking***_**:** I promise…

**Erik **_***teases in attempt to cheer me up***_**:** Because if you do it again, I'm thinking I'll have to take you back to your room, turn you over my knee, and give you a thorough spanking!

**Me **_***laughs***_**:** _Erik!_ You're too much!

**Erik **_***chuckles knowingly***_**:** Ah, now there's a pretty smile…

**Me:** _***smiles, but looks down self-consciously***_

**Mary Frances **_***awkwardly standing in the doorway with Gerry***_**:** Well, I hate to interrupt you guys at a time like this, but I find it necessary to inform you that we only have 15 minutes before our carriage arrives!

**Me **_***looks at the clock in horror***_**:** OH MY GOD! _***hops off the counter***_ Erik, you and Gerry go back into my room and get ready. I'll get your costume and mask from the sewing room.

**Gerry:** An' what am I ta wear?

**Me:** You can wear Erik's tux, cape, and mask. I'm sorry, I would have made you a personalized costume, but I didn't have time…

**Gerry:** 'S no problem, darlin'. _***wink***_ Did I mention how beautiful ya look tonight?

**Me:** _***blushes and giggles***_

**Erik:** _***casts a murderous glare at Gerry before they head back down the hall to my bedroom***_

**Me:** Mary Frances, run upstairs and make sure Christine and Raoul are ready to go.

**Mary Frances:** If you hear a scream, you'll know that I'm more than likely scarred for life… _***disappears up the stairs***_

**Me **_***sighs before heading into the office***_**:** This is going to be a long night…

_We interrupt my POV to bring you everybody's favorite POV: Erik's POV!_

After I received my costume and mask from Lauren, I was astounded by the detail and hard work she had put forth to recreate my original Red Death getup. Everything was precise, right down to the patterns on the sleeves!

And don't even get me started on the mask; I honestly don't know how she did it, but it was identical to my original. I tell you, that woman continues to fascinate me with her abilities, both the good and the bad.

As Gerry and I changed into our costumes together, I took advantage of the rather awkward silence to try and come up with a clever conversation to get my point across that he needed to—

**Gerry **_***starts to chuckle to himself***_**:** Ya know…I honestly can't believe I'm in the South, standin' in a teenage girl's bedroom while changin' inta one of my actual movie role's costumes ta go to a Masquerade ball with a bunch of crazy Phangirls!

**Me:** _***applying some coal around my eyes, chooses not to reply***_

**Gerry **_***continues***_**:** An' that Mary Frances…such a sweet lass… I think tonight's gonna be more fun than I imagined. An' Lauren…now there's a fine, bold young lady! I admit she's a definite—

**Me **_***snaps***_**:** Alright, see here, Butler, I know you're thinking you're special for being kidnapped and all that…but if you want to live through tonight…I advise you to just stay away from Lauren.

**Gerry **_***coolly***_**:** Ahh, ya have a soft spot fer her, I see… But look, Phantom, she came an' abducted me, alright? I didn't ask fer this ta happen, but it did, so I guess you're just goin' ta have to square with the fact that yer little lady is allowed to be interested in other people besides yourself.

**Me:** _That_ is beside the point! The point is that I want you to back off and stick with your assigned date, Mary Frances, and leave Lauren out of this.

**Gerry **_***crosses his arms***_**:** Or what, might I ask?

**Me:** The consequences will more than likely be deadly.

**Gerry **_***scoffs***_**:** Yeah, I'm sure.

I nearly lunged at the blasted Scotsman in front of me (he apparently didn't know how dangerous the person he portrayed really was) when one of the bedroom doors opened and Lauren poked her head inside.

**Lauren:** Hey, you guys ready to go?

**Me & Gerry **_***tensely***_**:** …As ready as I'll ever be.

**Lauren **_***overlooks our costumes in awe***_**:** Wow, you guys look amazing! I can already tell you the Phangirls are going to be all over the pair of you…that is, if they're not too busy with their own dates!

We follow her out into the front parlor, where Mary Frances, Christine, and Raoul are all waiting. They're now all wearing their masks, except for Raoul, who was not granted one to begin with.

Mary Frances' mask was blue to match her dress and had swirly designs all along it and a simple gem upon the forehead.

Christine's was small and white with little decals aligning the rim of the mask and a delicate faux rose on the side. Hers was the only one that was handheld.

Lauren's was black and very bedazzled with lace aligning the rim. Unlike the others, she had strings of black beads hanging down along her cheeks.

**Lauren:** Alright, now before I forget, I have a special surprise for the men of the house.

**Mary Frances:** I guess that counts RaFop out then…

Gerry and I both chuckle at her joke while Christine glares at us threateningly.

**Lauren **_***retrieves three swords***_**:** I have replicas of the swords you guys had in the movie! _***begins to hand them out***_ I thought it would be cool if you had them to carry around with you tonight.

I instinctively slide my own sword out of the scabbard and examine it. Why couldn't she have given this to me five minutes ago so I could have just dispatched my number one nuisance at the time?

**Me **_***attaches the scabbard to my belt***_**:** Great! Are we allowed to use them to kill each other?

**Lauren **_***looks over at me in horror***_**:** No! They're just to complete your costumes!

**Me:** _***curses under breathe***_

Just then, our personal horse drawn carriage pulled up at the front door. Since it was quite a tight fit inside, we made room by letting the girls sit on us men's laps. As we rode along to the lodge, I was astonished that I was beginning to feel actual excitement about one of these crazy get-togethers! I knew then that this was going to be a long, but very special night.

* * *

_The party hasn't even started yet and everybody's already going insane!_

_Well, as you guys can see, we had to split the Masquerade into THREE parts. It is such a huge, but absolutely hysterical update! Go on to the next chapter for the BEGINNING of the party!_

_You all can check out the pictures of our costumes, ball gowns, and masks on my profile! Just click on all the links listed under "More Tales of Phantom Hysterics"._

_So, remember to REVIEW this chapter real quick before heading on to the party! Can't wait to see you all there! This is going to get ridiculously wild!_


	21. Masquerade! More Hysterics on Parade! P2

_Masquerade! More Hysterics on Parade! Part 2_

After about half an hour of sitting on Erik's lap and laughing along with everybody else in the carriage, we finally pulled up at the lodge and stepped out of the carriage…but not without difficulty, seeing as everyone makes an attempt to get out at once…

**Erik **_***as I get up from his lap to try and open the door***_**:** OW! That was my foot!

**Me:** Oh, sorry! Mary Frances, you're stepping on my dress, hon!

**Mary Frances:** Sorry, Narnie! Whoa! _***suddenly loses balance and falls back into Gerry's lap***_

**Raoul & Christine **_***as Gerry and Mary Frances slam into them***_**:** OOF!

**Christine's Shoe:** _***somehow flies right from her foot and hits Erik square in the head***_

**Erik:** WHAT THE—?

**Gerry:** Whose lovely little *bleep* is in my face?

**Me:** Sorry!

**Raoul:** Uh, hello! Christine and I are getting squished over here!

**Mary Frances:** Everybody, calm down!

**Christine:** Has anyone seen my shoe?…AGH! My nail polish chipped again!

**Raoul:** Don't worry, Christine, I brought my emergency makeup and hair bag with me, in case anything like that should occur!

**Christine:** YAY! Raouly-Bear to the rescue! _***jumps to hug Raoul***_

**Everyone **_***as they get hit, kicked, or squished***_**:** OOF! AW! OW!

**Me **_***trying to push a foot out my face***_**:** _Oh for the love of God!_

**Gerry **_***yelps***_**:** Alright, whoever's stickin' me wit' a certain sharp object, please quit!

**Mary Frances:** Why has no one even attempted to open the door yet?

**Me:** I—!

**Christine:** Okay, seriously, where's my shoe at?

**Erik **_***holds it up***_**:** Is this it?

**Christine:** Yep!

**Erik:** _***tosses it at her, but "accidently" hits Gerry in the head***_

**Gerry **_***jumps up, causing more "ows"***_**:** OH! IT'S GO TIME NOW, YA SON OF A—

**Me **_***freakin' snaps***_**:** YO! GUYS! JUST CALM THE ***BLEEP!*** DOWN!

Everyone automatically stops what they're doing and stares at me in a timid manner.

**Me:** Honestly, I can only imagine what the driver is thinking right now!

**Gerry:** Whose idea was it ta use carriages fer transportation anyway?

**Everyone Else:** _***points straight at me***_

**Me:** Hey, it was a nice effect, but I had no idea the carriages were this small, okay? Now…let's all just step out of here in a nice, orderly manner and get inside!

Even as they attempt to make it out in as straight of a single file line as we were going to get, we still end up in a heap on the ground in front of the carriage…

Then we head up into the lodge, as the Phangirls are going to start arriving in just a couple minutes.

Upon entering, we're in the huge vestibule. A long table housing an assortment of gourmet finger foods sat in the middle of the room. In the center of the table a giant chocolate fountain sat, continuously spewing chocolate down its sides. Off to the right, a frickin' huge flat screen TV was mounted on the wall and a few fancy couches are positioned in front of them. On the left, the bar along the wall is up and running by the bartender. A giant ice sculpture of the Phantom's mask and rose is sitting on display near the entrance into the dining hall.

**Gerry & Erik:** _***head straight for the bar***_

**Christine & Raoul:** _***sit down on a couch and start touching each other's appearances up***_

**Me:** Well, I guess we could just get a soda or something at the bar and greet the Phangirls outside.

**Mary Frances:** Sounds good.

I ordered a fancy Sprite, mixed with some little strawberries and served in a wine glass. Mary Frances also got a fancy Sprite (only with blueberries instead of strawberries), Erik got a little white wine ("A nice starter beverage for any fanciful occasion…" to quote his statement upon ordering it), and Gerry got a nice beer.

Twilight was just starting to creep into the sky and the four of us had barely made it outside when an unfamiliar car suddenly zoomed out of nowhere and nearly ran us over!

**Everybody:** _***scream and leap out of the car's path***_

The vehicle then screeched to a halt and a figure immediately toppled out of the car.

**Vanessa **_***kisses the ground, panting like she just ran a mile***_**:** OH! Thank God! I'm alive! OH!

**Erique Claudin **_***steps out of the car behind her***_**:** Dear, please get up off the ground, I'd hate if you spoiled your dress before we even got inside!

**Salieri **_***jumps out of the driver's seat***_**:** 15 7H15 3V3N 7H3 R16H7 P14C3, N0085? (Is this even the right place, noobs?)

**Me & Mary Frances & Erik:** We know those voices! _***excitedly rush down to the trio***_

**Gerry **_***hesitantly follows, mutters to himself***_**:** Oh yes, let's just approach the crazy loons who nearly ran us over! That sounds like a grand idea! In fact, why don't I just write my will out now an' have it ready in case another idiot comes flyin' around the corner?

**Salieri **_***to us***_**:** 6R3371N65, N0085! (Greetings, noobs!)

**Vanessa **_***as Erique helps her up***_**:** Hey, oh my God, are you guys okay?

**Me:** Yeah, we're fine now, you guys just scared the bloody bejesus out of us!

**Vanessa:** I am so, so sorry about that! You see this thing? _***pats car***_ Salieri built it with his bare hands and tonight was the night we were going to give it a test drive…

**Erique:** What we didn't realize is that…Salieri can't drive! Poor Vanessa, she's been screaming like a peacock the moment the car started up!

**Vanessa:** But I'm completely serious, Salieri's worse than Erik without Driver's ED lessons…if that's even possible! No offense, bud! _***hugs Erik***_

**Erik **_***hugs her back***_**:** None taken. We're just glad you guys could come again!

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, and your costumes are awesome!

Vanessa is wearing an elegant red and black dress and a white mask in the exact same style as Erique Claudin's.

Erique Claudin has a new black tux and a black mask in the same style as his original blue one.

Salieri is dressed as the dude on the cover for _Amadeus_.

**Vanessa:** Aw, thanks, you guys' are the definition of 'epic'!

**Me:** I love you and Erique's matching masks!

**Vanessa:** I originally wanted a dragonfly mask like Beatrice's from 'A Series of Unfortunate Events', but Erique _insisted_ I wear a mask like his…

**Erique Claudin:** _***smiles down at her***_

**Vanessa**_** *notices Gerry next to Mary Frances***_**:** Holy crap, is that who I think it is?

**Erik:** If you think it's Gerard Butler wearing my clothes, then you are correct.

**Gerry:** …yeah, what he said…

**Vanessa:** Wow, nice to actually meet you, man! I—_***suddenly looks over her shoulder***_ OH MY GOD!

We all look up to see Erique and Salieri unloading all the stuff needed to play 'Dance Dance Revolution Supernova 2' from the trunk of the car! They had a Playstation 2, a ton of mats, and the game itself.

**Vanessa:** HOW THE HECK DID YOU TWO MANAGE TO SMUGGLE THAT IN WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE OF IT?

**Salieri:** U W343 2 N00815H 2 N071C3! (You were too noobish to notice!)

**Erique **_***hisses at Salieri angrily***_**:** Shut UP! _***to Vanessa***_ Um, we just hid it in the trunk.

**Vanessa:** But I sat right IN FRONT OF THE TRUNK! AND THERE WAS _NOTHING_ THERE!

**Erique:** I think Salieri might have built something to help hide large items.

**Vanessa:** Okay… Note to self: NEVER ride in a car Salieri built without inspecting it first…

Her two companions then head up to the lodge to set up the game equipment.

**Vanessa:** Anyway, is the foster here? I seriously need him to de-frizz my hair for me…since Salieri refused to roll the windows up on the way over here!

**Me:** Oh yeah, he's actually up in the lodge, touching Christine up. You can head on up there, he'll be thrilled to help you out, trust me! Hey, what did you do with the carriage we sent y'all?

She points to the top of the car where the carriage, complete with horses and driver, are walking from the top of the car off the hood.

Vanessa then takes off after Erique and Salieri and we get back up on the porch in wait for the next Phangirl group. Gerry, however, claimed he had had enough and went back inside the lodge.

Outside, the rest of us didn't have to wait for long. The first carriage pulled up and out stepped a pair of familiar blondes. It's our favorite twins, Nikki and Emma! Behind them, their younger siblings and Dr. Horrible, who is Nikki's date, start to step out of the carriage.

Emma has a floor length, navy blue ball gown that is pulled up to the left thigh to reveal a black skirt underneath.

Nikki is wearing a lovely, satin, floor length, royal blue ball gown. The strapless bodice is adorned with sequins. She also has a blue half face mask that matches her dress.

**Me:** Hey guys! So glad you could make it!

**Emma:** Hey guys! We brought our little siblings along with us! Meet Dmetri, Duncan, Genesis, and Amythest!

Dmetri is dressed up in a black tux, a white lined black opera cape, and a Phantom mask. Duncan has a regular tux, with a black eye mask and silver music notes on it.

Genesis has a black full-skirted ball gown and a wiry black mask that goes up one side to look like a wing. Amythest is wearing a lilac, straight skirted dress that's floor length and a purple mask with rose details.

**Dmetri, Duncan, Genesis, & Amythest:** Pleased to meet you! Thank you for letting us come to the party!

**Mary Frances **_***melts***_**:** Aww! How sweet!

**Nikki **_***takes Dr. Horrible's arm affectionately***_**:** And this is my date, Dr. Horrible!

True to her word, it is Neil Patrick Harris from 2008, wearing a black tux, with a white rose pinned to the front pocket, and a black mask.

**Nikki **_***gets excited***_**:** Oh, how do you like my hair?

Her hair is now up to her ears and has blue streaks in it!

**Me:** Wow, I love it! It really suits you!

**Erik:** Well, at least we'll be able to tell you and Emma apart now!

The group then heads on inside upon the arrival of the next group of Phangirls.

This time, it's Neverland Child, Fire Vein, Wild Child, their friend and newcomer Phangirl, Hinatagirl, and all of their dates!

Neverland Child's date is the young version of Scipio from 'Thief Lord'. The theme of her dress is 'Midnight'. She's wearing a super dark royal blue ball gown, made out of slightly sparkly fabric. Her mask is handheld and shaped like a moon with little stars hanging from it. Her earrings are moons, as well.

Fire Vein's date is Edmund Penvensie. She is dressed in a ball gown that has a Monarch butterfly pattern with a hoopskirt. It has a slight V-neck and the sleeves come slightly off the shoulders. Her mask is the shape of butterfly wings.

Wild Child is without a date, since she is only eight. She is wearing a big, dark green ball gown. Her mask is gold and looks almost like the sun because it has 'rays' coming out of the sides.

Finally, Hinatagirl's date is a 14 year old version of Robin from Batman. Her spaghetti strapped ball gown is black and the skirt only poofs out slightly. From the hemline up is a trail of shiny purple butterflies. Her mask is a simple black mask with hints of purple. Her hair is curled and pulled up in a ponytail with a purple ribbon.

**Neverland Child **_***sings to me***_**:** _Masquerade! __Pace face on parade!_ Hi, Lauren!

**Fire Vein & Wild Child:** We are here!

**Me:** Hey, guys! Welcome back!

**Neverland Child:** Oh, and this is Hinatagirl! Hinatagirl, Lauren!

**Hinatagirl:** Hi!

**Me:** Hey! It's a pleasure to meet you! We're so glad you all could come!

**Hinatagirl **_***suddenly eyes Neverland Child holding Scipio's hand***_**:** Ha! Told ya that you liked each other!

**Neverland Child & Scipio **_***automatically break the hand holding***_**:** WE DO NOT!

**Hinatagirl **_***smirks***_**:** Sure…

They all head inside as the next group arrives! It's Michelle, Erik, Xitlaly, and Alex, all decked out in their masquerade attire!

**Me:** Hey guys!

**Erik:** So good to see you all again!

**Michelle:** Thanks!

**MHT's Erik **_***seems thoughtful and tense***_**:** This place is quite lovely…

**Xitlaly **_***holding Alex's hand***_**:** I am sooo excited! I just can't wait!

**Alex **_***rolls eyes, but smiles nonetheless at her***_**:** Yes, love, we know, for the fifteen hundredth time…

**Mary Frances **_***as they head inside***_**:** Glad you could all join us tonight!

The next group then pulls up, but not in a carriage: instead, the three newcomers arrive on horseback!

It's Queen of Drama13 (or just Megan) with SO Erik and Elsie!

Megan is about 5'4" with shoulder length, layered brown hair and blonde streaks. She has blue eyes and is very thin and pale. She is dressed in a slim, floor-length, green velvet dress with a dark green ribbon around the waist, a slit up the leg and T-shirt sleeves. On her feet is a pair of black fancy sandals. Her mask is a simple dark blue mask with silver beading around the eyes and rim. It only goes across her eyes.

SO Erik is wearing his traditional white half-face mask, black suit, and his awesome cape. His horse has a splotchy black coat and a white spot on the left side of his face that looks like his mask.

Elsie has curly red-brown hair, blue eyes, and tanned skin. She's clad in a light blue dress with a puffed skirt and lot of beading. The sleeves are short and puffed. Her mask is white and goes across the top half of her face, with blue-green beading around the eyes and edges and two peacock feathers attached to the left corner. She is riding a beautiful red horse.

**Megan **_***dismounts her horse, which is brown with a white back foot and a white muzzle that has a small stripe over his eye***_**:** Hey guys! I'm Queenie and this is my 'Starting Over' Erik and Elsie, who is from the same story!

**Me:** Nice to meet you guys! I'm so glad you all could come and share this crazy night with us!

**Megan:** Hope you don't mind, but we decided to come with our own horses. It was Elsie's idea, she runs a stable._** *pats her horse***_ This is Comet, by the way. If it wasn't already obvious, Erik's horse is called Phantom.

**SO Erik:** _***grunts moodily as he dismounts***_

**Elsie **_***also dismounts***_**:** And this is Red Fury, who, in fact, has a major temper, so stay clear!

**Megan:** We'll just let them run around in the backyard during the ball, but if any of them happen to decide that biting the fop is fun, you won't find me complaining!

**Everybody:** _***laughs at such an idea***_

**Elsie **_***takes out deck of cards before heading inside***_**:** Now where is that stupid fop?

**Mary Frances:** He's inside, helping people out with their appearance problems…

**Megan:** Well, I wouldn't let Elsie near Raoul! He'll end up losing his My Little Pony to her in a bet!

**SO Erik:** Then let's just head on home to avoid anything like that…as humorous as it sounds!

**Megan **_***to SO Erik***_**:** And you listen here: I don't want you getting drunk too fast, otherwise there will no time for fop-heckling! Got it?

**SO Erik **_***grumbles and heads inside***_**:** I don't even want to be here…

**Mary Frances:** Is he always that moody?

**Megan:** He also, for some reason completely unknown to me, owns a magical bouncing walrus that sings Willy Wonka songs and plays croquet. It was involved laser eyes totally beat his walrus. I've managed to convince him to leave it at home, but any mention of walruses will probably send me ducking for cover. That thing is out to get me!

**Me **_***eyes wide with astonishment***_**:** Wow…and I thought my Erik was bad…

**Megan:** Trust me, you have no idea: I actually have to deal with TWO of them back at home! _***heads into the lodge***_

**Mary Frances **_***starts singing Willy Wonka song softly***_**:** _I'm flying, I'm flying…_

**Me:** Don't you get me started! _***after a little while***_ _There's no sensation that's quite as sensational as_—See, look what you made me do!

Finally, the last group arrives: it's The Mask of Evil, with her friend Olivia and her date, Jack Griffin, the Invisible Man! She has straight blonde hair, brown eyes, and is decked out in a ninja outfit. Olivia, who does not have a FanFiction account, has blue eyes, long, straight brown hair, and is wearing a James Bond outfit.

**Me:** Hello and welcome to our Masquerade ball!

**Mask of Evil & Olivia & Jack:** Thanks!

**Mary Frances:** So this is your first Phangirl get-together, huh?

**Mask of Evil:** Yeah, it is, and I can't wait!

**Erik:** Why haven't you attended the last few Phangirl parties?

**Mask of Evil:** I have been at the Latvian Embassy, planning world domination and destruction of the Fantastic Four with Dr. Doom! _***evil laugh***_

As they all head into the lodge, the next carriage pulls up. But this time, smoke begins to emit from the carriage…that could only mean one thing! A dark figure then starts to appear through the smoke as a freaky laugh tears through the air. Tia comes out of the smoke, holding a rope that leads inside the carriage. She's dressed up in a black, sleeveless, lacy dress, a black mask with silver trimmings, lace, and a bit of sparkles, with black stilettos and a silver rose necklace.

**Tia **_***creepy voice***_**:** I'm baaaaaaacccccckkkkkk! _***normal voice***_ AND I brought 'AoD' Erik with me again! _***pulls rope***_

AoD Erik stumbles of the carriage with a noose around his neck like a leash. He's wearing a black suit with a white shirt, a black full faced mask, black cape, and also has his sword on hand. To sum up, he looks pretty much like a shadow with all his black.

**AoD Erik **_***stumbles out of carriage with a noose around his neck like a leash, growls***_**:** I told you I won't act out anymore! Now please, darling…take this RIDICULOUS thing off of me!

**Tia:** NO! Not until you— _***sees Erik standing next to me, drops rope, runs up to him, glomps him, and kisses his cheek***_ Hello sexy, oops, I mean Erik! _***giggles***_

**Erik **_***smiles down at her***_**:** Good evening, Tia! It's so good to see you and AoD Erik again!

**Tia **_***observes his Red Death costume***_**:** You look so very handsome today…well, more so then you naturally do! _***goes to me, hugs me***_ Hi Lauren! Wow, you look so pretty!

**Me **_***hugs her back***_**:** Hey, Tia! I'm so glad you and AoD Erik could make it! And thanks, you look amazing, as well!

**AoD Erik **_***finally has the noose off, goes to me, and takes my hand***_**:** Bonjour 'Oiseaux Chanteurs de La Nuit'… _***kisses my hand, looks straight into my eyes while saying in his hypnotic voice***_ You look lovely this night, Mademoiselle…

**Me **_***blushes, giggles***_**:** Oh, why, thank you!

**AoD Erik **_***goes to Erik***_**:** Evening, monsieur! _***shakes hand***_ It's a pleasure to see you again…

**Erik:** And you, as well!

**Tia**_***looks at Erik***_**:** Oh yeah, and Erik, since soda probably won't be a good idea to give you today, I brought you this instead! _***gives him a plate full of pancakes***_

**Erik **_***eyes widen with excitement, receives plate***_**:** Wow, thank you, my dear! This takes care of my dinner for tonight!

**AoD Erik **_***materializes behind me, whispers in my ear***_**:** And this… _***pulls rose out of thin air***_ is yours, Mademoiselle…

**Me **_***smiles up at him, blushes even more***_**:** You are too kind, good monsieur!

**Tia:** Oh crap, well we better get to the party! See you guys in there! _***pulls AoD Erik by the hand inside to the people who are already partying***_

The next carriage arrives and Crash hops out with her date, "The Phantom's Rose" Erik. She is wearing a royal blue ball gown with a train that drags lightly behind her. The neckline is rather low with off the shoulder, black lace sleeves. Her mask is bright royal blue with a black plume of feathers and silver lining sparkles. Around her neck is a black choker necklace that has a large sapphire hanging with other little black jewels.

**Crash **_***rushes up to us, pulling PR Erik along with her***_**:** Hey, y'all!

**Me:** Hey, girl! We're so glad you could come to our Masquerade tonight!

**Crash:** Thanks! _***observes our costumes***_ Wow, y'all look amazing!

**Erik:** Crash, my dear, you clean up very nicely yourself!

**Crash:** _***jumps forward and kisses him***_ It's good to see you again, Mr. Hot Phantom!

**PR Erik:** _***stands there awkwardly***_

**Crash:** Oh, and I'd like y'all to meet my Erik! He's from my story "The Phantom's Rose"!

**PR Erik **_***nods politely***_**:** Pleasure to meet you all!

**Crash **_***sees all the Phangirls already inside***_**:** Dang, we better head on inside and get this party started! See ya!

When the next carriage pulls up, another Gerik-based Erik steps off the carriage, holding OprGhst in his arms. She's dressed in a beautiful, cream colored ball gown that is strapless with lots of sparkly swirls and floral designs along the skirt with a matching mask. Then another Raoul has a little trouble getting off the carriage and sets up a wheelchair. OprGhst's Erik puts her in the wheelchair and her Raoul goes back into the carriage.

**Me **_***in shock***_**:** OprGhst! Are you okay?

**Mary Frances:** Why are you in a wheelchair?

**OprGhst:** I'm fine, in one of my stories, I was shot in the stomach and I have to be in a wheelchair so I don't rip the stitches.

**Erik **_***disappointed***_**:** But…that means you can't glomp me like you always do!

**OprGhst:** Don't worry; I'll glomp you double next time to make up for lost glomps!

OprGhst's Erik wheels her into the lodge just as Raoul and Christine come on out and join us on the porch.

**Raoul **_***announces***_**:** Alright, we're practically perfect in every way now! So what have we missed?

**Erik:** We now miss your absence.

**Me **_***warningly***_**:** Erik…

**Mary Frances **_***quickly changes the subject***_**:** How's Gerry doing?

**Christine:** He's…okay… He keeps getting glomped by Phangirls, though.

**Raoul:** It's kind of funny to see him flinch every time to door opens!

Kbomb234 then arrives in her carriage. She is one of the many new Phangirl group additions. She is African American with a beautiful costume resembling a mermaid. It is a white, halter-top dress with a mermaid skirt, which is slit, and a single, off-the-shoulder, kimono-like sleeve. The halter ties, the edge of the sleeve, and the hems of the dress are all aquamarine. There is also an aquamarine ribbon around the waist. Her mask is a POTO ALW mask with aquamarine stars up the side. Her black hair is in a ponytail with a seashell clip. On her feet are blue gladiator sandals.

**Me:** Hey, Kbomb234! Welcome to our Masquerade ball!

**Kbomb234:** Thanks for letting me attend! This is going to be such an awesome party!

**Raoul:** Wow, your costume is a mermaid, right?

**Kbomb234 **_***complete sarcasm***_**:** No, fop, it's a shark costume! _***to us***_ Well, I'll see you inside!

The next carriage then arrives and out springs Emilia, EriksNewLove's 14 year old cousin. She actually looks a lot like Erik'sNewLove, but she's 5'8" and her hair is just shoulder length instead of three inches past the shoulders. She's wearing a royal blue spaghetti strap floor length dress. She has a gray handheld mask on a stick with swan feathers in a circle and in the middle of the feathers is a large emerald. On her hands are wrist length, black dinner gloves.

**Me:** Hi, Emilia! It's nice to meet you! We're so glad you could co—

**Emilia **_***runs past us and glomps Raoul***_**:** HI RAOULY-BEAR! I'm Emilia and I'm, like, your biggest fan! _***lets go***_

**Mary Frances & Erik & Me **_***more than a little bit surprised***_**:** _You are?_

**Raoul **_***in utter shock***_**:** _You are?_

**Emilia:** YES! Of course, Raouly-Rowly! _***throws arms around his neck and puts a finger on his nose, acting very flirty***_

**Christine **_***possessively grabs Raoul's arm, scowls at Emilia***_**:** Hi, I'm _my _Raouly-Bear's _wife_.

**Raoul **_***not listening, dazedly stares off into space***_**:** _I actually have an obsessive Phangirl!_

**Emilia **_***loops her arm with Raoul's other arm***_**:** You wanna grab some punch, Raouly?

**Raoul:** Sure! _***leaves Christine standing there alone***_

**Christine:** Uhh… _***takes off after them***_

**Mary Frances & Erik & Me:** Oooo ***bleep***…

Just then, a blonde boy wearing Erik's "Music of the Night" costume and his "Don Juan" mask steps off the carriage and assists what appears to be a princess! Upon closer observation, we realize it's EriksNewLove!

Her glasses are replaced with beautiful sky blue contacts. She's wearing a big, strapless, light blue ball gown with a long train. There are pretty, floral designs going up the skirt. Her mask is the shape of angel wings and is made of snow white feathers. She has long, silver arm length gloves on. Around her neck hung a beautiful diamond necklace that seems to match her tiara headpiece. Her hair is pulled back into a fancy, professional bun.

**Erik **_***eyes wide in amazement***_**:** My God, you look like… _***can't even finish his sentence***_

**Mary Frances **_***finishes his sentence for him***_**:** An even more gorgeous Cinderella!

**EriksNewLove **_***blushes***_**:** Aw, thank you…I wanted to go overboard as a princess bride.

**Me:** And your hair is so beautiful!

**EriksNewLove:** My 20 year old cousin, Britney, is a stylist. Oh, I want you guys to meet my date and best friend, Ayden. He is an excellent dancer.

**Ayden **_***has a high pitched voice***_**:** Hey, how's it going?

**Emilia **_***comes back out of the lodge, approaches Erik grudgingly***_**:** Here… _***gives him a ton of soda and chocolate***_ Your new love over there made me…

**Me **_***quickly snatches chocolate and soda, much to the distress of Erik***_**:** Whoa, why don't I just take that…I'm feeling kind of weary and in need of a refuel.

**EriksNewLove **_***to me***_**:** By the way, don't tell anyone who I am. I want this to be a fun "Cinderella" adventure. Now, with all that said and done…can I PLEASE murder Raoul? Just a little bit? He won't even know it was me!

**Me **_***pouring soda from the can and into my wine glass***_**:** I honestly don't care what you guys do, as long as you're having the time of your life!

**Emilia **_***gets excited***_**:** OH! Then can I use my magic powers to turn Erik back into a 9 year old?

**Me **_***laughs***_**:** You can try, but I don't think anything will change…he acts like a 9 year old as it is!

**Erik **_***calls***_**:** I heard that!

**Mary Frances **_***to Erik***_**:** I believe you were meant to.

**Me:** But we all love him just the way he is… Anyway, we're so glad you guys could come and join us tonight!

**EriksNewLove:** Thank you for having us again! And this time, I actually brought my video camera to remember it all! _***shows it off***_

**Me **_***to Mary Frances after they all head inside***_**:** …seriously, what is it with male dancers and high voices?

**Mary Frances:** That's not true!

**Me:** Well there is him…and him…and him…and—

**Mary Frances:** Okay, okay, you may have a point!

The next carriage pulls up and FromTheDepthOfMyMind steps off, looking quite ominous in her delicate black dress and matching mask.

**Me:** Hey, girl! Wow, your costume is so awesome!

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind:** Thanks! It'll help me blend into the shadows, where I'll be taking pictures of everything. _***shows off her camera***_

**Erik:** Hmm, very mysterious…

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind:** Yes, it's very mysterious. I'm more of a person who watches rather than dancing in the center of the room. Oh, I also made a collage of all the pictures I took from the karaoke slumber party!

**Me:** Oh my gosh! That is so cool! You can set it up inside wherever so that we can check them out!

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind **_***heads into the lodge***_**:** Alright, will do! See you inside!

Glass is next to arrive, wearing a full face, gold, blue, black and white jester mask with bells on it and a matching ball gown.

**Me:** Hey, Glass! Welcome back!

**Mary Frances:** Wow, your mask is so exquisite!

**Glass:** Thanks! My sister got it for me when she went to Italy!

**Erik **_***looks around for her date***_**:** Did you come alone?

**Glass:** Oh no, of course not! _***goes back into the carriage and reemerges with a familiar pirate***_ Dun dun dun da! My genuine Jack Sparrow!

**Christine **_***comes back out at just the opportune moment, sees Jack Sparrow, and freaks out***_**:** OH MY GOD, IT'S JACK SPARROW! _***glomps him***_

**Jack **_***gets tackled to the ground***_**:** AGH!

**Glass:** Yeah, I got him off eBay! And don't worry, I've already frisked him for rum, but he's sneaky…just keep him away from the punch bowl!

**Christine:** _***attached to Jack Sparrow's leg as he and Glass go inside***_

Next, owlcity89 gets here! She is 5' 2" with dark brown hair and green eyes. She's wearing a red dress that is poofy at the waist with black fingerless sleeves. Her mask is a sparkly swan mask. Her date is Legolas…who leaps out of the carriage with his bow and arrow at the ready!

**Legolas **_***aims at us***_**:** Who goes there?

**Me & Mary Frances:** _***scream and cower behind Erik***_

**Owlcity89:** Oh, give it a rest, Lego!

**Legolas:** _***sighs and lowers his weapon***_

**Owlcity89 **_***to us***_**:** Sorry about that… As you can see, he's a little strung up, he's never been to a masquerade ball before. Anyway, I'm owlcity89!

**Me:** Nice to meet you! We're so glad you could come and join us tonight!

After she and the breathtakingly beautiful elf head into the lodge, Megan (TolkienNerd4832) arrives with her own Erik, who looks like a mix of the stage Erik and Gerik. As Megan excitedly exits the carriage, she accidently trips on her dress, but her Erik catches her and sets her back upright. She is wearing a red, strapless Disney-ish ball gown and a silver version of Erik's mask. She has layered light blonde hair with black feathers.

**Megan **_***runs up to us***_**:** HIIIIIIII! I'M FINALLY HERE!

**Me:** Hey, Megan! I'm so glad to finally meet you!

**Megan:** OH MY GOSH! I'm SO EXCITED! This is going to be SO MUCH FUN! HOLY CRAP, CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN! _***takes off inside, pulling her Erik along with her***_

**Erik **_***looking rather scared***_**:** …Anyone else think she's totally lost it?

**Megan **_***pops her head out***_**:** And yes…I AM INSANE…just felt like mentioning that… _***goes back inside, then begin laughing hysterically* **_AHAHAH!

Disneydork29175 then steps off her carriage, clad in a red and white dress. The red on the dress is the dominate color, with just a hint of white in the skirt and the sleeves. The skirt is red and white striped. She has rather short hair, but the locks that fall into her face are held back with a few barrettes and ribbons. She's also wearing a simple black mask and around her neck is a little red bowtie that looks like a choker necklace.

**Disneydork29175:** Hey everybody!

**Me:** Hey there, Disneydork29175! We're so glad you could come and join us tonight!

**Erik:** And I hear you're going to sing for us tonight?

**Disneydork29175 **_***blushes***_**:** Yep, I sure am!

**Raoul **_***after coming back outside with a glass of punch***_**:** Like, oh my gosh, your bowtie, it's so cute!

**Me & Mary Frances & Erik:** _***eye twitches***_

**Disneydork29175 **_***to Raoul***_**:** Well, thanks…it took me forever to make—

**Raoul:** _***touches it and it gets messed up***_ …oops…

**Disneydork29175 **_***horrified***_**:** I _know_ you did not just mess my bowtie up!

**Raoul:** …It's nice to meet you? _***sheepish smile***_

**Disneydork29175 **_***suddenly cools down, turns to us***_**:** Well…I now have to fix this impossible accessory…so I'll see you all inside…but be warned fop, when I find you again, you are gonna pay! _***goes inside***_

Next, Jasper Blood and her Erik exit their carriage together. Jasper Blood is wearing a big, flouncy, dark red ball gown with black beaded accents and off-the-shoulder sleeves. Her mask is black and beaded with red feathers. Her Phantom is from her PhanPhic and is based off Michael Crawford because he's her favorite portrayal.

**Me:** Hey, Jasper Blood! Welcome to our Masquerade ball!

**Jasper Blood:** Thanks for letting me attend! Hey, fop, I got a little present for you!

**Raoul **_***gasps excitedly***_**:** Really?

**Jasper Blood:** _***spontaneously whips out a machine gun***_

**Raoul:** _***screams like a little girl and runs for his life***_

Not surprisingly, we all scream with Raoul and run behind Erik.

**Jasper Blood **_***starts rapid firing after Raoul***_**:** _I'm gonna shred up your pretty little face!_

**JB's Erik **_***hastily tries to stop her***_**:** Dear! Please! This is a masquerade ball! You must control yourself!

**Jasper Blood:** Fine… _***sighs and puts gun away***_ But you best beware, fop! I came prepared… _***takes her Erik's arm and goes inside***_

**Raoul:** _***whimpers***_

**Mary Frances:** Is anyone else a little scared…?

Everyone murmured in wary agreement.

The next Phangirl, Creaturess of the Night, arrives with her date, the vampire, Damon Salvatore, from 'Vampire Diaries'. She's wearing a strapless black dress with a rainbow underskirt and a silver mask with black roses all over it.

**Creaturess of the Night **_***approaches us rather shyly***_**:** Hi!

**Me:** Hi! Welcome to our masquerade ball!

**Creaturess of the Night & Damon:** Thanks!

**Me:** And not a bad choice for a date either! _***wink***_

**Creaturess of the Night:** Well, I thought if I'm going to bring a date, why not bring a cute one from my favorite TV show and book?

**Me:** Exactly! Well, we're so glad you could come and join us!

Once they head inside, Stained-glass-shadow and her own Erik pull up in their carriage. She has long curly red hair and green-blue eyes. She's dressed in a dark blue silk dress and has a mask that stops at her nose and is the same dark blue color as her dress, only with feathers off the side and white pearls at the corner of one eye.

**Me:** Hey, Stained-glass-window! It's great to meet you!

**Stained-glass-window:** Thanks! Hi, Erik!

**Erik:** _***gets tackle-hugged***_

**Stained-glass-window **_***composes self***_**:** Well, anyway, I brought my own Erik as my date…I hope that won't be too many Erik's?

**Me:** Oh no, of course not! We're so glad you could come and join us tonight!

Next, Mia (BalletGirl98) arrives with her own Erik, who is wearing a black tuxedo and his famous half white face mask. Mia's dress in a white satin dress, overlaid with black lace. She has a white mask that goes to her cheekbones and has silver swirly patterns and black feathers on it.

**Me:** Hi, Mia! Wow, I love your costume!

**Mia:** Thanks! _***looks around, notices one of us is missing***_ Where's Christine at?

**Me:** Oh, she's inside… One of our Phangirls brought Jack Sparrow as their date and she's been ogling over him the moment he got here.

**Mia:** Oh, alright. I'm hoping I'll get to chat with her tonight. Well, we'll see you inside!

The final carriage then arrives with the last two Phangirls.

The first to emerge is Maxniss Everide, wearing an aqua green ball gown with some sparkles on it. It isn't low cut, but not that conservative either. The sleeves are gold and look kind of like sashes. Her mask is also gold and has lots of sparkles.

ItamiAngel-chan is 5'5" and very pale with blonde-brown hair and green-brown eyes.

**ItamiAngel-chan:** Hey, y'all!

**Maxniss Everide:** Hugs all around! _***hugs each of us***_

**Me:** Hey, guys! So glad to meet you and that you could come!

**ItamiAngel-chan:** _***sees Erik, freaks out, and glomps him, but shows restraint***_

**Erik **_***rather surprised***_**:** …that's it?

**ItamiAngel-chan:** Yeah…I mean, I need to keep myself in check because I have a boyfriend that I love quite fiercely back at home.

**Erik **_***nods understandingly***_**:** Ah…

The pair then heads inside.

**Me:** Well, I guess that's all the Phangirls!

**Erik & Raoul:** FINALLY!

**Mary Frances:** Let's get back inside and see what everybody's up to.

Upon entering, everyone is gathered in the vestibule. They're all snacking from the finger foods tables, sipping their punch and fancy drinks, talking, laughing…and playing 'Dance Dance Revolution', but not before paying a fee and being admitted by Salieri himself, who is now dressed in a Santa Claus costume!

**Me:** Whoa, what's going on in here?

**Mary Frances:** Why is Salieri wearing a Santa suit and ringing a charity bell?

**Vanessa:** Well, he heard about your roof and Erik's ceiling, so he's using the 'Dance Dance Revolution' game to raise money for you guys for the repairs!

**Me **_***laughs***_**:** How awesome! At this rate, Erik will be back in his own room before you can say "firework duds"!

**Mary Frances **_***to me***_**:** Hey, let's go check out the karaoke slumber party collage FromTheDepthOfMyMind made!

On the way, we pass by Elsie, who seems to be entertaining a good group with card tricks, but is in fact cheating them all out of their money with "Find the Ace".

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind **_***standing near the collage, notices us***_**:** Hey! What do you guys think?

**Mary Frances:** Oh my gosh, these are amazing!

It was true, they were so awesome and there were so many. She took one of Erik and all the Phangirls and him getting glomped by every one of them. There was a ton of everybody singing their songs and of course Raoul getting pranked and his reaction when he woke up.

**Me **_***in fits of laughter***_**:** That was such a crazy awesome night…but I don't think anything's ever going to compete with tonight's get-together!

**Mary Frances:** You can say that again! _***looks at the picture of me and her posing together***_ Haha, aww, Narnie, look at us!

**Me **_***giggling like an idiot while looking over the pictures of Erik on his sugar high before coming across one of his face REALLY close up with a crazy grin on his face***_**:** Now that's almost frightening…

There was a picture of all the Eriks standing together and then the entire group together in our pajamas with Mountain Dew Margaritas in hand. And, of course, a picture of FromTheDepthOfMyMind's reflection in the mirror in my bathroom.

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind **_***sees it***_**:** Oops…now how did that one get on there?

Next to me, Mary Frances seemed a little shocked to come across one of Raoul and Christine making out.

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind **_***hurriedly explains***_**:** Complete accident…I think my camera malfunctioned.

There was one of just me on my own, but I wasn't looking at the camera and my hair looked more than decent! In my opinion, it was one of the best pictures of me I had ever seen!

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind **_***to me***_**:** Haha, Erik will probably want to keep that one… _***wink***_

The last few consisted of Erik and me sleeping while cuddling on the couch…and one of Erik kissing my cheek goodnight!

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind **_***notices me eying it***_**:** And that's right, I got it!

**Me:** _***smiles at her appreciatively***_

**Mary Frances:** Wow…well, I just cannot wait to see the ones you get tonight because these are fantastic!

**FromTheDepthOfMyMind:** Oh, I want to remind you guys that you're the only ones I truly trust with my camera, so you guys can use it whenever!

**Me & Mary Frances:** Oh, awesome!

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a bell is rung to signal that dinner is now ready to be served! Upon hearing it, everyone immediately drops what they're doing and makes a mad dash for the dining room, which indeed has a breathtaking view of the marvelous grounds.

The full moon reflects off the pond and there are little outdoor lamps that align the pathway down to the bridge over the pond. The clear indigo sky is dotted with countless twinkling stars.

Me and Erik, Mary Frances and Gerry, and Raoul and Christine all sit together at one table. After everyone else is seated, I stand up and chime my wine glass with a spoon to get their attention.

**Me **_***removes mask so they know it's me***_**:** Good evening! You all know me, I'm Lauren, your hostess tonight. I just wanted to say a few words before we all indulge ourselves in this amazing food that has been prepared for us… I want to thank all of you crazy, awesome Phangirls and your dates and guests for coming and joining us at this magnificent Masquerade ball, all decked out in your beautiful costumes and masks. I know for a fact that this is the biggest gathering we've done so far…and we're only sitting down to eat now! I want to thank you all for making this one of the craziest and most popular stories out there in the POTO FanFiction network! Thank you for all your support, your awesome reviews, and your crazy ideas. Keep 'em coming! But we never could have made it without you guys… I also hope you will all join us in dancing the rest of the night away after we finish up dinner. Just remember to let loose and have fun…because this is our night, and it's only one night, so let's make it as crazy and memorable as we can! Thank you… _***sits back down***_

The entire room goes up in applause and cheers before settling down to eat.

**Erik **_***sitting next to me, being served a glass of champagne***_**:** Excellent speech, my dear!

**Mary Frances **_***next to Gerry***_**:** Awesome, Narnie!

**Gerry **_***on my other side, pats my hand***_**:** That was brilliant, darlin'…now, let's eat, I'm bloody famished! _***starts scarfing his dinner down***_

**Christine **_***in between Erik and Raoul***_**:** Wow, Lauren! That was great!

**Raoul **_***next to Mary Frances***_**:** Yeah, what they all said!

**Me **_***blushing***_**:** Thanks, you guys!

And so, we all dine together, all the while talking, laughing, and either catching up or getting to know one another.

* * *

_Well, everybody's here! It's so good to meet all you new Phangirls and see all you fellow ones again! And I hope you all liked my little speech… :) I meant every word of it._

_You all can check out some random yet awesome pictures of the amazing lodge and grounds! Just go to my profile and click on all the links listed under "More Tales of Phantom Hysterics"._

_Go on to Part 3 for all the fun stuff…but be sure to REVIEW this part first! Thanks!_


	22. Masquerade! More Hysterics on Parade! P3

_Masquerade! More Hysterics on Parade! Part 3_

After we finish with dinner, everyone heads into the enormous ballroom. A giant, beautiful crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling right above the dance floor. The French doors leading out into the garden and gazebo are propped open and the pair of sheer curtains that cover the exit are flowing gently with the cool, night breeze. Meanwhile, the hired deejay dude is sitting at his area, waiting patiently for a song to be requested.

**Me:** _***walks up to him and requests the first song***_

**Deejay Dude **_***clears throat before enthusiastically saying into his microphone***_**:** Aaaaaallright, all you Phangirl peeps! Time to get this party started! Grab yo date if ya brought one and git ready fo' some masquerading!

All of the couples do so while I hurry and find Erik to pair up with him. Just as we get into ballroom position, "Masquerade" begins to play and everyone is swept into the dance at once!

**Everyone **_***sings along while dancing***_**:** _Masquerade! __Paper faces on parade! Masquerade! __Hide your face so the world will never find you! Masquerade! Every face a different shade! Masquerade! Look around, there's another mask behind you!_

**Nikki & Dr. Horrible:** _Flash of mauve!_

**Owlcity89 & Legolas:** _Splash of puce!_

**Crash & TPR Erik:** _Fool and king!_

**SO Erik & Elsie:** _Ghoul and goose!_

**Neverland Child & Scipio:** _Green and black!_

**Fire Vein & Edmund:** _Queen and priest!_

**Hinatagirl & Robin:** _Trace of rouge!_

**Dmetri & Genesis:** _Face of beast!_

**Mary Frances & Gerry:** _Faces!_

**Megan (TolkienNerd4832) & her Erik:** _Take your turn!_

**Vanessa & Erique:** _Take a ride on the merry-go-round!_

**Glass & Jack Sparrow:** _In an inhuman race!_

**OprGhst & her Erik (he is holding her bridal style while dancing with her in his arms):** _Eye of gold!_

**EriksNewLove & Ayden:** _Thigh of blue!_

**Jasper Blood & her Erik:** _True is false!_

**Michelle & her Erik:** _Who is who?_

**Xitlaly & Alex:** _Curl of lip!_

**Creaturess of the Night & Damon Salvatore:** _Swirl of gown!_

**Stained-glass-shadow & her Erik:** _Ace of hearts!_

**Mia & her Erik:** _Face of clown!_

**Raoul & Christine:** _Faces!_

**The Mask of Evil & Jack Griffin:** _Drink it in!_

**Amythest & Duncan:** _Drink it up!_

**Tia & AoD Erik:** _'Til you've drowned in the light! In the sound!_

**Me & Erik:** _But who can name the face?_

**Everyone:** _Masquerade! Grinning yellows! Spinning reds! Masquerade! Take your fill, let the spectacle astound you! Masquerade! Burning glances! Turning heads! Masquerade! Stop and stare at the sea of smiles around you! Masquerade! Seething shadows! Breathing lies! Masquerade! You can fool any friend who ever knew you! Masquerade! Leering satyrs, peering eyes! Masquerade! Run and hide, but a face will still pursue you!_

**Mia & her Erik:** _What a night!_

**Crash & TPR Erik:** _What a crowd!_

**Vanessa & Erique:** _Makes you glad!_

**EriksNewLove & Ayden:** _Makes you proud!_

**Dmetri & Duncan & Genesis & Amythest:** _All the crème de la crème!_

**Creaturess of the Night & Damon Salvatore:** _Watching us, watching them!_

**Owlcity89 & Legolas:** _And all our fears are in the past!_

**The Mask of Evil & Jack Griffin:**_ Three months!_

**Hinatagirl & Robin:** _Of relief!_

**Fire Vein & Edmund:** _Of delight!_

**Neverland Child & Scipio:** _Of Elysian peace!_

**Jasper Blood & her Erik:** _And we can breathe at last!_

**Michelle & her Erik:**_ No more notes!_

**Xitlaly & Alex:** _No more ghosts!_

**OprGhst & her Erik:** _Here's a health!_

**Tia & AoD Erik:** _Here's a toast!_

**Raoul & Christine:** _To a prosperous year!_

**Mary Frances & Gerry:**_ To our friends who are here!_

**Me & Erik:** _And may our splendor never fade!_

**Megan (TolkienNerd4832) & her Erik:** _What a joy!_

**Nikki & Dr. Horrible:** _What a change!_

**Glass & Jack Sparrow:** _What a blessed release!_

**Stained-glass-shadow & her Erik:** _And what a masquerade!_

The music skips Christine and Raoul's little dialogue and goes into the interlude where everyone begins changing partners in between spins.

Erik and I release each other and are immediately swept away by new partners.

As the music crescendos, the spinning starts to quicken along with it. I then begin to feel dizzy and start to worry as I go from partner to partner… There were too many Eriks…and a good number of them based off of the 2004 movie portrayal… They all looked the same and I could not help but feel a little overwhelmed as I absentmindedly danced with each one of them.

How am I to tell my own from the others? Where is he? Shouldn't we have been rejoined by now? I can barely see straight now and feel like I'm going to fall over out of dizziness…when the spinning finally stopped and I was in the firm arms of my new partner.

**My Partner:** Hello again, darlin'…

**Me **_***looks up anxiously***_**:** Erik?

Quite the opposite… It was Gerry.

**Me **_***notices everyone else has their original partners***_**:** Gerry, wait, where's Erik?

**Gerry **_***concerned***_**:** Are ya alright, lass? Ya seem outta sorts…

Before I could reply, we realized the music was at the part of the song when Raoul and Christine…show public affection…

I then look up at Gerry, unsure of what to do…seeing as nearly everyone else around us is sharing a sweet kiss. Upon meeting those beautiful eyes of his, I automatically melt under his gaze. He smiles that famous lopsided smile and moves a random curl out of my face and begins to lean in…

Meanwhile, across the room…

**Neverland Child **_***back and dancing with Scipio***_**:** This is ssoo fun!

**Hinatagirl **_***dances by with Robin when the part in the song comes to the point when Christine and Raoul should be kissing***_**:** Hey, how 'bout you two reenact the scene where Raoul and Christine kiss!

**Neverland Child **_***blushes***_**:** OH SHUT UP ALREADY!

**Hinatagirl:** _***laughs evilly***_

**Scipio:** _***looks around, realizes nearly every couple is sharing a passionate kiss, quickly leans in and pecks Neverland Child's cheek***_

**Neverland Child **_***taken by surprise***_**:** Wha…? Wait, why didn't you just…kiss me like everybody else?

**Scipio **_***blushes***_**:** Because I thought you'd smack me or something…

**Neverland Child **_***leans in and kisses him***_**:** I think just for tonight…I'll let you slide.

Meanwhile, back across the room…

I didn't even have enough time to react… One fraction of a second, I comprehended that Gerard Butler was about to actually kiss me…the next, I was being yanked out his arms! I look up in shock at none other than Erik, who looked rather infuriated at the moment.

**Erik:** _***growls at Gerry as he shoves Mary Frances into his arms instead***_

He then dragged me off across the ball room. I noticed Christine standing off to the side with a confused look displayed on her face…and then realized Emilia had jumped in and stolen Raoul from her during the partner spinning.

**Erik **_***now concerned for my wellbeing***_**:** Are you alright? I thought you were going to swoon amidst the interlude!

**Me:** Yes, I'm fine now.

**Erik:** What happened?

**Me **_***not wanting to sound completely stupid***_**:** I don't know…too much spinning I think…

**Erik:** Hmm…

Finally, it was time for the song's big finale!

**Everyone:**_ Masquerade! Paper faces on parade! Masquerade! __Hide your face so the world will never find you! Masquerade! Every face a different shade! Masquerade! Look around, there's another mask behind you! Masquerade! Burning glances! Turning heads! Masquerade! Stop and stare at the sea of smiles around you! Masquerade! Grinning yellows! Spinning reds! Masquerade! Take your fill, let the spectacle astound you!_

The music comes to an end and everyone cheers!

**Phangirls:** WHOOO! THAT WAS AWESOME!

**Erik **_***suddenly draws sword, roars***_**:** BUTLER!

His sudden rage is enough for everyone, including me and Mary Frances, to immediately flee for the sidelines. Gerry was the only one left standing on the dance floor…and he had also drawn his sword.

**Erik **_***begins to step forward threateningly, says vehemently***_**:** I warned you not to interfere!

**Gerry:** An' I'm warnin' you not ta challenge me…you will only end up makin' a fool of yerself in front of all yer pretty lil' Phangirls!

**Erik **_***tauntingly***_**:** HA! Says the man who had stunt doubles do all his stunts! At least the dude who portrayed RaFop had some dignity and did all _his_ own stunts!

**Random Phangirls:** Oooooh…

**Gerry:** An' at least _I_ was decent enough in my life not ta stalk a poor, innocent, lil' girl fer nine years!

**Random Phangirls:** Oooooooh…

The two then cross blades and circle around one another, all the while staring one another down, malicious fire blazing in their eyes.

**Phangirls **_***start chanting***_**:** _Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!_

**Me & Mary Frances:** NO! NO FIGHT!

Suddenly, they both cast their weapons aside and go at one another…with a sissy slap fight right in the middle of the dance floor!

For a few seconds, the room was silent. Then, unable to help it, the Phangirls doubled over with laughter. I, myself, could not believe I was watching these two full grown men actually attack each other like a pair of tweenagers.

**Me **_***at a complete loss for words***_**:** …wow…

**Mary Frances **_***in utter disbelief***_**:** _Really_, guys?

While all this is occurring, we then notice Christine is sulking in one of the chairs along the wall with a glass of punch in her hand. Meanwhile, Raoul and Emilia are chatting together a little ways away. We decide to sit on either side of Christine to help cheer her up while watching Erik and Gerry bicker.

**Me:** Hey, Chris! Can you believe those two morons?

**Mary Frances:** That is just humiliating right there!

**Christine:** _***not listening, staring intensely at her Raouly-Bear and Emilia across the ballroom***_

**Me:** I mean, at least the Phangirls are finding it humorous…but honestly, how pathetic can you get?

**Christine **_***snaps and suddenly crushes her punch glass and storms in Raoul and Emilia's direction***_

**Me **_***slightly fearful***_**:** …that was glass…

**Mary Frances:** That was AWESOME!

**Christine:** _***reaches Raoul and Emilia***_

**Me & Mary Frances **_***watch in horror***_**:** _God help us…_

**Christine **_***grabs Raoul's arm, says to Emilia***_**:** Alright, listen here, chick! I think you've had more than enough time with my husband for the night and it's seriously starting to tick me off! Come on, Raoul, let's go…get some more punch!

**Emilia:** Hey, I'm not trying to pick a fight!

**Raoul:** _***can tell that his wife is gonna blow up…yet does NOTHING***_

**Christine:** Oh, really? I find that extremely hard to believe!

**Emilia:** Do you now?

**Christine:** Yes, I do now!

**Emilia:** Then let me give you something to fight about! _***full-blown, mouth-on-mouth kiss with Raoul!***_

**Salieri:** _***passes out***_

**Christine:** HOW DARE YOU, YOU *BLEEP*!

**Me **_***whispers in horror***_**:** Aw, crap. She _never_ uses the *Bleep* Machine!

**Emilia **_***mockingly***_**:** Whatcha gonna do 'bout it?

One second, Christine's fist was clenched at her side, the next, it was in Emilia's face!

Apart from a few gasps, the room was silent. Even Gerry and Erik had stopped their 11-year-old-like catfight and were watching noiselessly. The next sound was another punch, Emilia's, that was landed at Christine jaw.

A few more punches were thrown before the Phangirls' silence was broken by:

**Crash:** Now y'all see, that's how ya fight!

**Phangirls:** _***mutter in agreement***_

**Mary Frances:** Hello! Is anyone gonna stop them?

**Erik:** Why?

**Me:** Um, is this a quiz? They're fighting, you dingbat!

**Gerry:** Why would ya stop 'em? This is almost as entertaining as meerkats!

**Erik:** _***agrees and starts a conversation about meerkats with Gerry***_

**Mary Frances & Me:** _***stare incredulously***_

**Erik & Gerry:** _***notice our stare and sneer darkly at each other, pretending that they hadn't one thing to agree about***_

Meanwhile, Emilia and Christine fight had carried over towards one of the tables holding lots of food. They ended up both falling over on the edge of the table sending the food flying over everyone!

**Vanessa **_***after getting splattered with pudding***_**:** Holy crap! Wait, there wasn't pudding on that table!

**Salieri **_***after chucking the pudding at Vanessa***_**:** H4 H4, N008!

**Vanessa:** You suck! _***attempts to throw a pastry at Salieri, but he ducks and it ends up all over Emma!***_

**Emma:** What the heck! Where'd that come from? _***flings food in random location***_

Soon everyone is throwing food this way and that, resulting in a gigantic food fight!

**Me & Mary Frances **_***exasperatingly running around, dodging food and trying to calm everything down***_**:** _OH FOR GOD'S SAKE!_

During all the ridiculousness, Wild Child peers into the ballroom from the French doors before sneaking in, unnoticed, with a giant box…and Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin right behind her! They hide behind some overturned table.

**Wild Child **_***slams box down with a pant***_**:** Okay! _***opens box and there are a ton of ice cream boxes and ice cream scoopers! She opens one and scoops some ice cream***_ So you just pull the scooper back like a catapult, let it go, and let the cream fly! Got it?

**Merry & Pippin & Sam **_***grab ice cream scoopers excitedly***_**:** Got it!

**Frodo **_***raises hand in question***_**:** Why are we doing this again?

**Wild Child:** Would you take a look around? Everybody's going crazy! And I can get away with it here, now do your thing! _***they all load their weapons and hold them back***_ Steady, steady…FIRE! _***they start flinging ice cream at everybody from behind the table and everyone is now getting creamed with ice cream***_

Meanwhile…

**Me **_***slips in a melting puddle of ice cream***_**:** Great, now it's raining ice cream!

**Mary Frances **_***yells in complete sarcasm while avoiding flying ice cream***_**:** Yes Lauren, dear, it's raining ice cream!

**Me:** This is hopeless! What else could go wrong?

Suddenly, a requested song starts blasting over all the ruckus!

**Justin Bieber:** _And I was like baby, baby, baby oooh! Like baby, baby, baby nooo! Like baby, baby, baby oooh!_

**Everyone In the Ballroom **_***covering their ears and screaming as if in significant amounts of pain***_**:** AAAAAAAAGGHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT BURNS! IT BURNS US! TURN IT OFF!

The deejay obediently turns the wretched song off to reveal Raoul still singing and dancing along, immediately giving away that he was the one who requested it in the first place.

**Raoul **_***singing***_**:** _…baby, baby, baby oooh! Baby—_

Everyone then splats him with the remaining food to get him to shut up!

**Raoul **_***shields himself with his arms and makes run for it***_**:** AGH! Oh come on! How can you all hate on the Biebs?

After that, everything seemed to ease itself back to normal…except for the mysterious raining ice cream…but Fire Vein would soon put a stop to that, as well!

**Fire Vein **_***sees Merry suddenly come out from behind table, aiming at a helpless victim***_**:** Merry!

**Merry **_***freezes and hides scooper***_**:** Hi, Fire Vein…

**Fire Vein:** Oh, you're going to get it! _***walks over behind table and sees the other four***_ WILD CHILD!

**Wild Child **_***stops***_**:** Hi sis… _***smiles sheepishly***_

**Fire Vein **_***gives her a death glare***_**:** You come clean up all this ice cream RIGHT NOW!

**Wild Child:** But we were just having fun!

Fire Vein holds up her hand and makes it look like a claw to show off her SUPER sharp fingernails!

**Wild Child:** YES SIS! _***grabs Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin and they start to clean up ice cream***_

Meanwhile, everybody starts cleaning themselves up…and the Buckridge staff was already on sweeping the dance floor clean so that we could continue our dance sequences. Gerry and Erik also go their separate ways to cleanse themselves of the food they had accumulated during the battle.

In a few minutes time, everything is fine and lively again!

**Deejay Dude **_***still picking food crumbs out of his hair***_**:** Well…now that that's over and done with…why don't you all give it up for Ms. Disneydork29175? She's going to be singing "So Small" by Carrie Underwood for us!

Everybody cheers for her as disneydork29175 steps up to the microphone stand. They then pairs up with their partners to dance along to her performance. Erik and I catch each other's eye and decide to give dancing another try.

**Disneydork29175 **_***singing along to the instrumental***_**:** _What you got if you ain't got love  
The kind that you just want to give away  
It's okay to open up  
Go ahead and let the light shine through  
I know it's hard on a rainy day  
You want to shut the world out and just be left alone  
But don't run out on your faith_

**Erik **_***dancing with me, tries to make conversation***_**:** So…that was rather… _***can't even finish his sentence***_

**Me **_***laughs***_**:** Ya _think_?

**Erik **_***laughs, as well***_**:** 'Twas necessary, nonetheless.

**Me:** What? Scaring the *bleep!* out of me? I honestly thought you two were gonna kill each other! I'm just glad it went the way it did 'cause that would have been hard to explain to the authorities if it had ended fatally… Plus, it was very humorous to watch two full grown men slapping away at each other in the middle of th—

**Erik **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Yes, yes, I get it!

**Me **_***starts giggling***_**:** Um, you have chocolate icing smeared on your shoulder… _***wipes it off and then licks it from my finger***_

**Erik **_***chortles after twirling me***_**:** And you have vanilla ice cream splattered on your rear!

**Me:** I know, I slipped in a puddle of it… _***stops upon realizing he was checking out my butt***_ I swear to God, Erik, if I catch you eyeing my butt again…

**Erik **_***teases***_**:** Well, at least I'm not a klutz!

**Me **_***sticks tongue out at him***_**:** Just shut up and dance, this is a good song.

**Erik:** I could have sworn you were not too terribly fond of country…

**Me:** Country's fine, it's not my favorite, but it's still enjoyable every now and then.

As I listened to the lyrics, I came to realize that they seemed to speak out about me and Erik's little spat from yesterday…

**Disneydork29175:** _'Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand  
What you've been up there searching for  
Forever is in your hands…_

Upon hearing that line, I looked down at my own hands and was almost astonished to see that they were entwined with Erik's…

**Disneydork29175:** _When you figure out love is all that matters after all  
It sure makes everything else  
Seem so small_

I looked up at Erik, hoping he had gotten the message as I had, but he did not seem to notice and only seemed interested in disneydork29175's voice.

Once she finished her song, everyone applauded and cheered!

**Salieri:** N008, U R 4 7H3 N0081357 D4NC3R 3VR! (Noob, you are the noobiest dancer ever!)

**Vanessa **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Well, thanks a lot Salieri… _***goes over to Erique to dance with him instead***_

**Erik **_***takes disneydork29175's hand and kisses it***_**:** My dear, you have such a lovely voice and I must thank you for sharing it with us tonight.

**Disneydork29175**_***squeeeeeee!***_**:** Thank you SO much!

Next, one of the Phangirls requests 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift. I smile as Erik plays the gentleman and coaxes FromTheDepthOfMyMind out onto the dance floor for a dance, since she has been hiding in the shadows and taking pictures all this time.

She gives her camera to me to use for the time being and I decide to take a seat with Mary Frances, who is now sitting alone along the wall.

**Me:** Smile, May Princess! _***poses next to her and snaps a picture***_

**Mary Frances:** Haha, she let us have her camera?

**Me:** Yeah, just while she's dancing. _***snaps a picture of FromTheDepthOfMyMind and Erik on the dance floor***_

**Owlcity89 **_***tiresomely plops down in a chair nearby***_**:** Ugh, these heels are killing my feet!

She removes the heels from her shoes and flings them across the room…and they just so happen to collide with RaFop's face!

**Raoul:** OH MY GOD! MY FACE! IT'S BROKEN! I'M BLEEDING! _***takes off for the bathroom, covering his bleeding nose***_

**Me:** Aw, shoot, one more thing for Raoul to complain about!

**Mary Frances:** So…I saw you and Erik talking…

**Me:** Yeah, so? I saw you and Gerry talking, too.

**Mary Frances:** You know and I both know that's not the same thing whatsoever… I'm guessing you two made up and are on good, if not better, terms now?

**Me:** May Princess, would I be having this much fun if we hadn't made up?

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, good point. Well, has he kissed you yet?

**Me **_***taken aback***_**:** Hon, why all the questions? Wait, are we talking about Erik or Gerry here?

**Mary Frances:** Erik. I saw Gerry try to during 'Masquerade', but I think that was just him either trying to get under Erik's skin or taking pride in the fact that he's a total ladies man…

**Me:** Yeah… Well, Erik and I came close earlier back at the house…but then we were interrupted.

**Mary Frances **_***covers her mouth in dismay, realizes she was the cause of the interruption***_**:** Oh my God, I ruined it, didn't I?

**Me **_***shrugs***_**:** Yeah, you kinda did…but don't worry about it, we're used to it by now.

**Mary Frances:** I am _so_ sorry, Narnie, if I had known…

**Me:** Hon, it's fine! Remember, the night's still young…he and I still have plenty of time for all that! _***wink***_

**Christine & Emilia **_***rush up to us urgently***_**:** Have you guys seen Raoul?

**Me:** Oh yeah, he ran to the bathroom after taking a hit in the face from Owlcity89's heels… _***stops and observes the room and notices half of the Phangirls are not present***_ Uh oh…

Meanwhile, in the bathroom…

Raoul had finally cleaned all the blood from his face. He was now drying it with a paper towel. Once he finished, he looked up in the mirror and jumped with a squeal of fright: about half a dozen Phangirls stood behind him, all bearing either some sort of weapon or a scowl of extreme dislike upon their faces.

**Raoul **_***laughs nervously***_**:** Heeeeyyy guys, how's it going?

**EriksNewLove **_***standing in the center of the girls with her arms crossed, commands simply***_**:** Get him.

**Megan & ItamiAngel-chan:** _***seize him by the arms***_

**Raoul **_***starts babbling in terror***_**:** Oh no, no, w-wait, come on, guys, let's j-just take it easy, okay?

**Jasper Blood:** Shut your trap, fop! _***brandishes her weapons***_ I got a baseball bat and a tranquilizer gun _and I know how to use 'em_!

**The Mask of Evil:** Let's drown him in the toilet!

**Crash:** HECK YES!

**Jasper Blood:** _***whacks Raoul to the floor with the baseball bat***_

**ItamiAngel-chan & Megan:** _***grab his ankles, drag him into one of the stalls, and hold him upside-down by the ankles right above the toilet***_

**Raoul **_***holding onto his wig for dear life***_**:** NO! PLEASE! HAVE MERCY! NOT THE HAIR! NOT THE HAIR!

**EriksNewLove:** Say your prayers, fop! _***gives the signal***_

**Crash:** _***flushes the toilet***_

**Raoul:** NOOOOOOOO—

**ItamiAngel-chan & Megan:** _***dunk him in the toilet***_

**Me & Mary Frances **_***run in***_**:** WHOA! What's going on in here?

**Crash:** Fop-heckling! What's it look like!

**Christine & Emilia **_***run in behind us***_**:** OH MY GOD, RAOULY-BEAR!

**Raoul:** HELP ME! PLEASE!

**EriksNewLove:** _Curses!_ Foiled again! _***sighs***_ Alright, guys, let him go…

**Phangirls **_***obey reluctantly***_**:** Awwww!

**Raoul:** _***scrambles away to Christine and Emilia***_

**EriksNewLove:** You may have gotten away this time, fop, but I promise you, next time you won't be so lucky!

**Raoul:** _***gulps***_

**Crash:** Come on, guys, let's get back to the party…

**EriksNewLove:** Yeah, let's go. Me, Emilia, and Ayden are all gonna perform our dances from the Nutcracker!

**Phangirls (including Emilia):** OH YAY!

They all exit the bathroom together, leaving Me, Mary Frances, Raoul, and Christine.

**Me:** Raoul, are you okay?

**Raoul **_***wringing out his wig***_**:** I'll be alright as soon as I get this toilet water out of my ears…

**Christine:** You guys can get back to the party; I'll stay with Raoul and help him dry off.

**Mary Frances:** Alright. Come on, Narnie.

We both leave the couple alone in the bathroom.

**Raoul **_***notices that his wife is silent and trying to hide fact that she's upset***_**:** Is everything alright?

**Christine:** It's nothing…

**Raoul:** Christine, I can tell you're upset.

**Christine:** I can't help but feel like you're replacing me with that other…girl…when I'm your wife! I thought this ball was going to be like a fairytale for you and I…but—

**Raoul **_***suddenly kisses her***_**:**You know I could never replace you…I love you and no one is ever going to come between us because I love you far too much…

**Christine:** I love you, too, my Raouly-Bear! _***hugs him***_

**Raoul:** _***smiles and strokes her curls sweetly***_

Meanwhile, Mary Frances and I walk back into the ballroom to find that EriksNewLove had magically switched her and Emilia's costumes for Nutcracker tutus and they were going to perform their duet to the Trepack, her solo to Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy, her duet with Ayden to the Pas de Deux, and Emilia's solo to Chocolate. All of the other Phangirls were watching them from the sidelines.

**Mary Frances:** Hmm…do you see Gerry anywhere?

**Me **_***heading over to where Erik is sitting***_**:** No idea…maybe he's outside?

**Mary Frances:** Hmm… _***heads out into the garden***_

Meanwhile, across the ballroom…

**Michelle's Erik **_***to Michelle***_**:** Ahem…would you like to come with me for a little walk?

**Michelle:** Of course! _***takes his hand and they both head out into the garden***_

Mary Frances kept her eyes open for the Scotsman, occasionally calling his name, all the while listening to the chirping of the crickets and the trickling of the little waterfall fountain. She crossed the little bridge that led to the steps going down to the gazebo. It was then she suddenly caught a slight whiff of cigarette smoke…and noticed he was there, sitting on the steps alone with Erik's half-mask lying beside him.

Mary Frances stood there for a few seconds, wondering what she should do. Seeing as she was allergic to cigarette smoke, she knew she had to keep her distance, but she also had the urge to confront him while they were alone.

**Gerry **_***turns his head, sees her behind him***_**:** Hello, sweetheart… _***pats the area next to him***_ Come, sit.

**Mary Frances:** I can't…I'm allergic to cigarette smoke.

**Gerry:** Ah… 'M sorry. I'm almost finished.

**Mary Frances **_***sighs***_**:** Why do you insist on slowly killing yourself?

**Gerry **_***sighs as well***_**:** Sweetie…it's not easy…ta have an addiction of any kind. I've tried ta quit…several times…but I just can't.

**Mary Frances:** But you have such wonderful talents and all these loving fans. That's not enough to give you the desire to quit?

**Gerry **_***puts out cigarette***_**:** If it were that easy…I wouldn't be out here right now. An' if I could change anythin', this _***holds up dead cigarette***_ would be one of the first things…

**Mary Frances **_***steps down the stairs and sits next to him after the smoke clears***_**:** Well…then perhaps you're here with us for bigger reasons.

**Gerry **_***cracks a smile, says jokingly***_**:** Other than the fact that yer crazy temptress of a best friend illegally abducted me from New York ta merely take ya to yer Masquerade?

They both share a soft laugh before noticing another couple taking a moonlit stroll around the gorgeous grounds.

**Mary Frances:** Now what are those two up to?

Meanwhile, several yards away on the bridge on the pond…

**Michelle's Erik:** Well, I was hoping we could talk a little?

**Michelle **_***leans against the railing***_**:** I don't see why not.

**Michelle's Erik **_***sighs***_**:** See, there's this little thing that's been happening…and it's very important._** *pauses***_ And I thought that luck was on my side because of this ball and when you said that I could talk with you… _***stops again nervously***_

**Michelle **_***urges him on***_**:** Yes?

**Michelle's Erik:** But I find it very difficult to tell you about it.

**Michelle:** Grr! Are you going to tell me or not?

**Michelle's Erik:** HEY! It's hard okay?

**Michelle:** Okay, but I really want to get back and dance a little, please?

**Michelle's Erik:** Right…we've known each other for a while now. I-I've grow very fond of you—

**Michelle:** Aww, that's so sweet!

**Michelle's Erik:** Thank you…and as I was saying, I know we're great friends and all—

**Michelle:** The best!

**Michelle's Erik **_***impatiently***_**:** You're not making this any easier!

**Michelle:** Alright! Sorry, I'll shut up and let you talk…

**Michelle's Erik:** Thank you very much! Well, as I was saying, we're great friends but—

**Michelle **_***suddenly upset***_**:** But what? You don't like me anymore? Well, that's sad because you know what? Even though you don't like me anymore, I like you more than a—

**Michelle's Erik:** _***grabs her and kisses her***_

**Michelle **_***gasps after the kiss***_**:** What just happened?

**Michelle's Erik **_***puts arms up, protecting his face***_**:** Don't hit me please! I'm sorry!

**Michelle **_***takes his hands and puts them down***_**:** I'm not going to hit you! That was…the thing that I wanted you to say for some time now.

**Michelle's Erik **_***relaxes***_**:** Really?

**Michelle:** Well, I don't feel like lying to you.

**Michelle's Erik:** So…

**Michelle:** Yeah, awkward moment.

**Michelle's Erik:** And…we're together?

**Michelle:** Not until you ask properly.

**Michelle's Erik:** Thank God I was prepared for this.

**Michelle:** What are you talking about?

**Michelle's Erik **_***gets down on one knee and takes a velvet box out of his pocket***_**:** Michelle, will you—

**Michelle:** Wait a minute there, buddy! You just told me you liked me in a way—

**Michelle's Erik:** Actually, I love you.

**Michelle:** Yes but, shouldn't we give it a little time to see how it works out?

**Michelle's Erik:** Shouldn't you just give me some time to finish what I was going to say?

**Michelle **_***blushes***_**:** Oh! Well, hehe, I'm sorry.

**Michelle's Erik:** Nothing to worry about, my dear. As I was saying…Michelle…will you be my girlfriend?

**Michelle:** Oh, well, HUM…could you please stand up?

**Michelle's Erik:** As you wish. _***stands up***_

**Michelle:** HAHA! HECK YES! _***excitedly jumps Erik and throws arms around his neck***_

**Michelle's Erik:** _***tries to put a beautiful silver ring around her finger***_

**Michelle:** Awww! _***takes ring and puts it on***_ It beautiful! _***notices golden rose on it***_ It even has a rose!

**Michelle's Erik:** Yeah, I thought you would like it.

**Michelle:** You were right…how 'bout we get back to the others?

**Michelle's Erik:** Good idea. _***takes her hand in his and they head back up to the lodge together***_

Inside the lodge, Fire Vein, hinatagirl, Robin, and Edmund are all standing together and talking.

**Fire Vein **_***sighs***_**:** I really wish some song that I knew would play so then I could dance!

**Wild Child **_***overhears her, smiles evilly, says quietly to herself***_**:** _Your wish shall be granted!_ _***walks over to me, tugs on the hem of my dress***_ Um…Miss Lauren?

**Me **_***turns around***_**:** Oh, hi there, sweetie!

**Wild Child:** _***motions for me to come down to her size, then whispers something in my ear***_

**Me:** Of course!

**Wild Child:** Thank you! _***skips away then trips over her ball gown***_ Stupid dress…

**Disneydork29175 **_***approaches Raoul, who is standing alone now***_**:** Hey!

**Raoul **_***jumps and yelps before seeing it's just her***_**:** Oh…what do you want?

**Disneydork29175:** Your hair is really nice! How long does it take you to get it like that?

**Raoul:** Oh…well…_***starts babbling on and on about his hair***_

**Disneydork29175 **_***eye twitches***_**:** Ahhh…I see… _***shakes head slightly***_ Ya know, I have this special cream, right here…_***pulls it out of thin air***_…that's guaranteed to give you great looking hair! All you have to do is put it in, and your hair will stay perfect for weeks!

**Raoul **_***snatches it and runs off***_**:** It's mine! MINE! You can't have it, cause it's MINE!

**EriksNewLove **_***walks up behind her***_**:** Glue?

**disneydork29175 **_***nods with an evil smile***_**:** That stupid little fop is going to wish he never messed with me and my bowtie…

**Crash:** Dang, I wish I had thought of that…

**Megan (TolkienNerd4832):** Ditto!

The Coppélia Waltz then starts to play in the ballroom.

**Fire Vein **_***gasps***_**:** I LOVE THIS SONG! Did I ever tell you I was in that ballet?

**Edmund:** Yeah, I was there, remember? _***chuckles and hits her playfully over the head***_

**Fire Vein:** Hey! _***rubs head***_ Anyway, will you PLEASE dance with me? I haven't danced much tonight and I've always wanted to dance ballroom style!

**Edmund:** Sure...

They both walk out to the dance floor and start to do ballroom stuff.

**Hinatagirl:** I hear wedding bells!

**Wild Child:** Hinatagirl, don't even mention that! _***sighs and leans up against wall***_ My work here is done! _***walks away***_

**Xitlaly:** Hey, Alex, I'm really worried now…they've been out for quite some time. _***starts getting hysterical***_ _What if Raoul came for her again?_

**Alex:** Calm down, sweetie, she's with Erik, remember? I doubt he would let her out of his sight.

Michelle and her Erik then enter the ballroom, hand in hand.

**Xitlaly **_***relaxes***_**:** Oh! There they are!

**Alex **_***smirks***_**:** I think I know why they were out…

Sure enough, Michelle's Erik goes and high-fives Alex and talks with him and the other gentleman while Michelle goes and talks with the other Phangirls about what just happened out on the bridge.

**SO Erik **_***calls while stumbling about***_**:** ELSIE!

**Elsie:** Oh great, he's drunk again… _***sigh***_ What is it Erik?

**SO Erik:** I forgot to lock up the walrus!

**Megan:** What? NOOOOOO! _***dives under a table***_

**SO Erik **_***suddenly grabs the punch bowl and dumps it on Raoul***_**:** GET A HAIRCUT!

**Raoul **_***now dripping wet***_**:** This world utterly hates me…

**SO Erik:** _***starts running in circles singing 'Think of Me'***_

**Elsie:** Someone get me a drink! My headache's coming back.

**SO Erik:** THE VAMPIRES WON'T GIVE BACK THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHT! THEY WON'T GIVE IT BAAAAACK!

**Megan:** Is the walrus gone?

**Elsie:** It was never here. _***starts banging head against the wall***_

**Erik **_***mutters to me***_**:** Well, that defiantly won't help her headache…

**Me:** _***agrees with a nod***_

As soon as the Coppélia Waltz ends, the deejay leans in to his microphone.

**Deejay Dude:** Alright, now everyone please welcome Owlcity89 & EriksNewLove to the stage! These two talented musicians will be playing along to our next song 'Dark Waltz' by Hayley Westenra!

Everybody applauds as Owlcity89 readies her sparkly red violin and EriksNewLove takes a seat at the grand piano.

As their romantic music starts up, all of the couples make their way out onto the dance floor for some much needed slow dancing.

**AoD Erik **_***holds hand out to Tia***_**:** May I dance with you this evening?

**Tia **_***smirks***_**:** You? Dancing? I've never seen you dance before!

**AoD Erik **_***also smirks***_**:** Well, there's a first time for everything…

**Tia **_***still suspicious***_**:** …is this some sort of trick?

**AoD Erik **_***chuckles***_**:** No trick, my darling… _***holds out hand more insistently***_

**Tia **_***giggles, says sarcastically***_**:** Well…I suppose… _***takes his hand and he leads her out onto the dance floor***_

Meanwhile, Erik and I are also waltzing together…and the sensation was as close to a fairytale as it could ever get… We danced and twirled and waltzed through the course of the song, all the while smiling uncontrollably.

But once the song came to an end, AoD Erik got down on one knee…

**AoD Erik **_***struggles with his words***_**:** Uh…ummm… _***clears throat***_ Tia, I uh…I—

**Me **_***gasps and covers mouth in excitement upon seeing him***_**:** _Oh my God!_

At this point, everybody noticed what was going on and cleared the dance floor, watching excitedly from the sidelines.

**Tia:** Uh…Erik…what are you doing?

**AoD Erik **_***scoffs, says sarcastically***_**:** I'm planning world domination…what do you think I'm doing?

**Tia **_***growls***_**:** I mean without the sarcas—

AoD Erik just forgets the one knee thing because she's being too difficult.

**AoD Erik **_***covers her mouth to stop her talking***_**:** Okay, now look, I'm trying to be serious, but you're making that difficult for me… _***sighs, says quickly***_ I may have not been your first love, and I don't have to be…but I do want to be your last…

He waves his hand over her left ring finger and then out of nowhere she is wearing a silver diamond ring that is rimmed with rubies.

**AoD Erik:** _***uncovers her mouth, looks nervously up at her***_

**Tia **_***speechless, looks back and forth from the ring to him***_**:** …oh my God…are you asking me to—

**AoD Erik:** Will you?

There was a moment of silence, during which everyone in the room held their breath in anticipation.

**Tia **_***suddenly glomps him***_**:** OF FREAKING COURSE!

**AoD Erik **_***falls to the floor upon being glomped, suddenly jumps up to his feet, extatic she said yes***_**:** WHOOOOO! _***stops and looks around, notices that he just yelled that and everyone is staring at them***_

**AoD Erik:** …she said yes! _***kisses her, doesn't care at the moment that he's showing public affection***_

**Everyone **_***applauds and cheers***_**:** WHOO!

**Erik **_***thumps AoD Erik on the back lightheartedly***_**:** Way to go, Monsieur Erik!

**Mary Frances **_***hugs Tia***_**:** Congratulations, Tia!

**Me **_***in tears, embraces Tia***_**:** Yes, congrats, girl! Oh my God, I'm so happy for you!

**Tia **_***hugs me back***_**:** Thank you, Lauren and Mary Frances!

After a thousand more congratulations, the party gets back into full swing!

Neverland Child, Fire Vein, Scipio, Hinatagirl and Robin are all standing around and talking together when the next song starts to play.

**Neverland Child:** Hey, this sounds like that tango sound that's recorded on our keyboard! What do you think, Fire Vein?

**Fire Vein:** It's the sound alright! _***looks out on dance floor***_ OH CHEESECAKE!

**Everyone:** WHAT?

Fire Vein points to Wild Child and Pippin…who are doing the tango! At the end of the song, Pippin throws Wild Child into the air, catches her, and she bends down over his knee in a dip-like fashion…then Pippin drops her.

**Wild Child **_***picks herself off the floor***_**:** Oh come on! We've been practicing for weeks and you still can't do it?

**Pippin **_***smiles sheepishly***_**:** Sorry?

Just then, a bell begins to toll, signaling to everyone that the clock has struck midnight!

**Me **_***looking around uncertainly while chowing down on more chocolate to help me stay awake***_**:** Midnight…already?

**Mary Frances **_***gasps and points out onto the dance floor***_**:** Look!

In that instant, everyone's eyes suddenly fall upon OprGhst, who is sitting in her wheelchair…with her Erik kneeling in front of her!

**OprGhst's Erik:** …will you marry me?

**OprGhst **_***in tears with her hands covering her mouth in shock***_**:** Yes! Yes! Oh yes! _***throws her arms around her Erik's neck***_

**OprGhst's Erik:** _***embraces her before putting the ring on her finger***_

**Everybody **_***applauds and cheers for them***_**:** WHOOOO! _***start congratulating them as the couple leaves the dance floor***_

**Mary Frances **_***standing with me on the sidelines***_**:** Wow, can you believe this? Two engagements in one night!

**Me:** I know! What an amazing and special night!

**Mary Frances **_***looking onto the dance floor over my shoulder, says vaguely***_**:** I think it's about to get even more special…

**Me **_***puzzled***_**:** Why do you say tha—

I stopped and felt my eyes widen upon hearing a familiar song begin to play over speakers… It was 'Far Away' by Nickelback, the song I had been listening to non-stop since Erik and I had gotten upset with one another.

I automatically turned around to see none other than Erik, standing alone in the middle of the dance floor, waiting for me to join him.

**Nickelback:** _This time, this place  
Misused, mistakes  
Too long, too late  
Who was I to make you wait?_

**Me **_***covers mouth in astonishment***_**:** Oh my God…

**Phangirls **_***chanting me on***_**:** _Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance!_

**Mary Frances **_***smiling excitedly***_**:** Well, don't just stand there! Get out there! _***gives me a push***_

They all whoop as I stride onto the dance floor to Erik, who now has his hand extended towards me.

**Nickelback:** _Just one chance  
Just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left_

**Me **_***takes his hand***_**:** You have completely outdone yourself, mister…

**Erik **_***a smirk playing upon his lips***_**:** Shall we?

**Me:** _***also smirks as he leads me into the dance***_

**Nickelback:** _'Cause you know,  
You know, you know  
That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore_

While we slow danced, everyone else was too intrigued by what was happening on the dance floor to notice Wild Child peering out from behind a table, going back under, and then reappearing with Pippin!

**Wild Child **_***to Pippin***_**:** Okay, you got 'em, don't you?

**Pippin:** Yup! _***holds up a load of fireworks***_ Gandalf let me have them, but made me promise not blow this place up.

**Wild Child:** Well, we're probably going to blow it up anyway, so let's go! _***they both run out through the open French doors***_

**Nickelback:** _On my knees, I'll ask  
Last chance for one last dance  
'Cause with you, I'd withstand  
All of hell to hold your hand  
I'd give it all  
I'd give for us  
Give anything but I won't give up  
'Cause you know,  
you know, you know  
That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore_

Meanwhile, outside on the grounds…

**Pippin **_***sets one of the fireworks down and lights it up***_**:** Done!

**Wild Child:** Um…this is going to sound familiar, but you're supposed to stick it into the ground.

**Pippin:** But it is in the ground.

**Wild Child **_***shoves it toward Pippin***_**:** No, it's not!

**Pippin:** But it was your idea! _***firework suddenly goes off and the two scream like girls and duck for cover***_

All the while, inside the ballroom… Erik and I are still slow dancing away in front of everyone. I'm having a hard time comprehending if this was for real or just another one of my wistful fantasies…

**Nickelback:** _So far away  
Been far away for far too long  
So far away  
Been far away for far too long_

**Erik **_***singing along lowly in my ear***_**:** _But you know, you know, you know  
I wanted  
I wanted you to stay  
'Cause I needed  
I need to hear you say  
That I love you  
I have loved you all along_

**Me **_***starts to tear up, sings back***_**:** _And I forgive you  
For being away for far too long  
So keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it_

**Me & Erik **_***singing together***_**:** _Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go_

The dance ends and I'm in Erik's arms while all the Phangirls are applauding from the sidelines. Erik then carefully removes my mask.

**Erik **_***looks me directly in the eye, asks sincerely***_**:** Do you have any idea how much I love you?

**Me **_***feeling like I'm about to die of exhilaration***_**:** No, I'm afraid not…

I don't think I have ever been happier in all my life: each of his gloved hands cup my cheek and grasp the nape of my neck before he leans in. Our eyes close yet again and in the next moment, our lips finally meet in our first, real, passionate kiss.

**Phangirls:** Ooooooohh! _***along with random whoops and wolf whistling***_

**Erik **_***after we break apart***_**:** How about now?

**Me **_***smiles ecstatically***_**:** I think I have a pretty good idea…

I then remove his skull mask without any hesitation, throw my arms around his neck, and kiss him with all the passion I could muster. He picked me up off the ground and twirled me around in utter delight while all the Phangirls cheered. And in that moment, everything was absolutely perfect…

And as if it couldn't get any more perfect, fireworks suddenly started going off from outside, causing us to end the blissful kiss and curiously look in the direction of the French doors.

**Erik **_***sets me down, puts his mask back on, and says in a surprised tone***_**:** I didn't know you arranged fireworks!

**Me **_***also puts mask back on, suddenly worrisome***_**:** …I didn't!

**Neverland Child **_***over in the sidelines, jumps at the sound of the fireworks***_**:** What the heck was that?

**Scipio **_***next to her***_**:** I don't know…

**Neverland Child and Scipio **_***both look at each other with wide eyes once it clicks***_**:** Wild Child and Pippin!

**Neverland Child:** This can't be good!

At this point, everyone's running outside to watch the show. We all gather in the grass and watch as the beautiful fireworks explode in the sky!

**Everybody:** _***'oohhh'ing and 'aaawww'ing***_

**Christine **_***standing with Emilia***_**:** Wow, fireworks are just so pretty!

**Emilia:** But not as pretty Raouly's hair!

**Christine:** Oh my gosh, you noticed how swishy and shiny it is?

**Emilia:** Of course! I love how it…

Before you know it, the pair is laughing and giggling like good old friends!

The fireworks continue to go off for about five whole minutes before they die down and come to an end.

**Wild Child **_***after the fireworks stop, looks at Pippin***_**:** That was good!

**Pippin:** Let's get another!

Scipio then goes up and grabs them by their ears.

**Scipio **_***while dragging them back***_**:** You better get back inside before your sisters tell me to punish you big time!

**Wild Child & Pippin:** KILL JOYS!

Everyone files back into the ballroom…but before I can join them, I notice Erik standing alone down under the gazebo, seemingly in thought. I cast a glance back at the ballroom before going down the steps to join him.

**Me:** Hey…I think they're about to start the final dance in there—

**Erik **_***his back turned to me***_**:** Lauren…

His sharp, serious tone was all it took to make me instantly tense up.

**Erik **_***continues nervously***_**:** I forgot to apologize for something earlier…

**Me **_***relieved I had not done something to upset him***_**:** Y-you did? I thought you pretty much covered everyth—

**Erik **_***faces me***_**:** I'm sorry for nearly killing those two…_***pauses, looking for an appropriate word***_…boys…your friends…the other night during 'Once Upon a Mattress'. I admit I completely overreacted.

**Me **_***laughs***_**:** Yeah, just a little bit.

**Erik:** And it was not right to injure the pair of them like I did. But the only reason I acted out was—

**Me **_***interjects***_**:** Other than the fact that both of them are my friends and nothing more…

**Erik:** Yes, I understand that now…but I was trying to get my point across that I honestly can't stand the thought of you with either of them…and not myself. I know that's probably the most selfish statement you've ever heard in your life…but it's the truth. I just get so jealous if anyone even comes near you or you show any attraction to someone else. Take Gerry in there for instance… I hate how he thinks he can just steal you away and give you all this attention, even after I explained the whole deal to him! And the only way I know how to deal with it is to interfere physically.

**Me **_***fully and finally understands why he's always so high-strung***_**:** Please don't worry about Gerry, he's just being a total lady's man. But Erik…if you were feeling like that all this time…you could have just come and told me.

**Erik:** Ah, but where's the fun in all that?

**Me **_***giggles and shakes head***_**:** Oh, Erik!

**Erik **_***takes my hands in his***_**:** So what I want to ask you is…perhaps we can…at least _try_…to make "this" work between us?

**Me **_***pretends like I have to contemplate his suggestion, then smiles***_**:** Hmm…yeah, I like that idea… But as long as I can at least converse with other members of the male kind without you coming out of nowhere and strangling them to death!

**Erik **_***sighs and rolls eyes in mock exasperation***_**:** If you insist…

**Me **_***gives him a quick kiss, before pulling him towards the stairs***_**:** Come on, let's get back to the others.

**Deejay Dude **_***as Erik & I reenter the ballroom***_**:** Alright, here's the final song for the grand finale dance! I wanna see all of you out on the dance floor for this one 'cause it's one of a kind!

As everyone excitedly gathers on the dance floor, 'Masquerade' by Ashley Tisdale starts to play!

**Me **_***gasps***_**:** Oh my gosh, I _love_ this song! Come on!

I then proceed to drag him into the huge crowd of crazy, partying Phangirls and we both let loose and dance like we've never danced before in our lives…

_Hip shaker, dream maker  
Heart breaker, earth quaker  
I can be anything that you want me to  
Coin spender, mind bender  
Jet setter, go getter  
Changing my getup for anything you choose_

_I won't mind trying on someone else_  
_I won't mind seeing just how it felt_  
_I might like changing my disguise_  
_To make you happy_

_Here's my formal invitation_  
_You and me go masquerading_  
_Lose ourselves in this charade and_  
_Is this love we're imitating_  
_Do we want what we've got?_  
_If not I say so what_  
_Here's my formal invitation_  
_La, la, la, la you can be my_

_School teacher, mind reader_  
_Dream weaver, just be the_  
_One I can count on to play it up with me_  
_Hot waiter, cool skater_  
_Trail blazer, pose major_  
_Naughty and nice_  
_What I know you want to be_

_You wanna try on someone else_  
_You might like seeing how it felt_  
_Do you mind changing your disguise_  
_If it makes me happy_

_Here's my formal invitation_  
_You and me go masquerading_  
_Lose ourselves in this charade and_  
_Is this love we're imitating?_  
_Do we want what we've got?_  
_If not I say so what_  
_Here's my formal invitation_  
_Let's go, let's go masquerading_

_We'll make it fun_  
_When it's over and done_  
_I still want you to see the real me_  
_No more disguises_  
_Let true love decide_  
_If we should be together_

_Here's my formal invitation_  
_You and me go masquerading_  
_Lose ourselves in this charade and_  
_Is this love we're imitating?_  
_Do we want what we've got?_  
_If not I say so what_  
_Here's my formal invitation_  
_Let's go, let's go masquerading_

* * *

After bidding every single one of our guests goodnight and a safe trip home, we all stood on the front porch of the lodge and waved as their carriages all departed.

**Me & Mary Frances **_***as soon as the last carriage disappears from view, exclaim exasperatingly***_**:** Well, that was somethin'!

**Raoul **_***on his wit's end from being pranked all night long***_**:** NEVER again!

**Me:** Ohhh YES, again!

**Raoul:** UGHHHH! _***proceeds to bash his head against one of the pillars of the porch***_

**Christine:** I just want to say that _that_ was the absolute craziest get-together I think there has ever been!

**Everyone (except Gerry who is dozing off in one of the rocking chairs nearby):** _***agrees wholeheartedly***_

**Erik:** Well, I guess we ought to head on home now…

**Me **_***leading them all to the parking lot where our carriage awaits***_**:** Yeah…I don't even want to _know_ what time it is!

We all climb into the carriage and endure a long thirty minute-ride home. Despite the fact that it's very cramped and bouncy, we're practically falling asleep on one another.

**Raoul & Christine:** _***leaning on one another, falling asleep***_

**Gerry:** _***fast asleep and slumped over with his head in Mary Frances' lap***_

**Mary Frances:** _***absentmindedly stroking his hair***_

**Me **_***resting my head on Erik's shoulder, murmurs softly***_**:** Aww! May Princess, you have the Scotsman in your lap!

**Mary Frances **_***smiles, but changes the subject***_**:** Narnie, how are you not dead yet? You haven't slept a wink in two whole days!

**Me **_***smiles matter-of-factly***_**:** Chocolate and soda, baby! Put the two together and you can do anything…

When we pull into the driveway, I manage to wake everybody up enough to get them to stumble out of the carriage and into the house.

**Gerry:** _***goes into my room to change out of Erik's clothes***_

**Everyone Else:** _***gathers in the kitchen***_

**Raoul & Christine **_***trudge up the stairs, hand in hand, call sleepily***_**:** Goodnight, all…

**Me **_***calls back quietly***_**:** Goodnight, guys. Sleep well. _***sighs and looks at the clock, then groans***_ Good God, it's 2:30 in the morning…

**Erik **_***is hungry***_**:** Hey, Lauren, would you mind—

**Me **_***cuts him short***_**:** Make your own sandwich (© Tim Hawkins); I'm going to bed right now. And I'm going to warn you all right now that it will more than likely _not_ be the best idea to disturb me until I depart from that room, at which time tomorrow I cannot guarantee, so goodnight…

**Mary Frances **_***to Erik once I leave the room***_**:** Haha, wow, you're already finishing each other's sentences. That's a good sign!

**Erik:** _***smirks, but grumbles nonetheless while making a little sandwich***_

**Mary Frances **_***yawns***_**:** Well, I should head off to bed, too… Oh, and fabulous job tonight, Romeo. _***wink***_

**Erik **_***chuckles***_**:** Goodnight, Mary Frances.

**Gerry:** _***tries to follow her down to her bedroom***_

**Mary Frances **_***confronts him with her eyebrows raised***_**:** Um, where do you think you're going?

**Gerry **_***stutters***_**:** Uhm…I…um…uh…

**Mary Frances:** Uh huh, yeah, I don't think so, bud… There's _two_ couches in the den, take your pick! Goodnight. _***takes off for her room***_

**Gerry:** _***trudges down to the den and collapses on the couch exhaustingly***_

Meanwhile, in my bathroom, I stripped out of my dress, took the pins out of my hair, did my best to brush it out, took my contacts out, washed all the makeup from my face, removed my jewelry, and dressed in a simple, long T-shirt. And honestly, by the end of my ritual, I was utterly exhausted and wanted nothing more than to curl up in my bed and stay there until my body decided it had had enough immobility.

**Me:** _***comes out of the bathroom into my bedroom, then jumps and screams***_

I was a little more than startled to find Erik lying in my bed, waiting for me to join him. He had changed out of his Red Death costume and was now wearing his white undershirt and black pants while his mask laid on the nightstand. _We really need to take them all clothes shopping some time…_

**Me **_***panting as I calm myself down, my hand over my heart***_**:** Oh for God's sake…Erik, how many times do I have to tell you _not_ to do that?

**Erik **_***amusedly***_**:** I'm terribly sorry, dear.

**Me:** What are you doing in here?

**Erik:** Um…my ceiling, remember?

**Me:** Oh yeah, how could I forget about that? _***shakes head dismissively before getting into bed***_ Please remind me to call a repair guy tomorrow whenever I get up…if I ever get up. _***turns off lamp, engulfing the room in darkness***_

I then scoot over to cuddle with him.

**Me **_***as I allow him to wrap his arms around me***_**:** Goodnight, Erik.

**Erik **_***smiles and gently kisses my forehead***_**:** Goodnight, Lauren.

**Me **_***after a few moments of silence***_**:** Erik?

**Erik:** Hmm?

**Me **_***whispers***_**:** Thank you…for making another dream come true.

**Erik **_***whispers back***_**:** And thank you…for making this one of the most special nights of my life.

And with that, we both fell into a deep sleep with content smiles playing upon our lips.

* * *

_Well, that concludes our craziest Phangirl get-together yet! I hope this was all worth such the long wait…but then again, we __**are**__ the first people to ever host an actual Masquerade Ball! And lots of thanks, kudos, and cookies to Heywhatup for the idea of a Masquerade ball get-together! We really wish you could have joined us, though… :(_

_Oh, and I believe congratulations are in order to both Tia and AoD Erik and OprGhst and her Erik! :)_

_And you guys should definitely look up and listen to the songs used for inspiration in this crazy ball! Here's the playlist:_

'**Masquerade' from '**_**The Phantom of the Opera**_**'**

'**So Small' by Carrie Underwood **_(Thank you, disneydork29175!)_

'**Love Story' by Taylor Swift**

'**Dark Waltz' by Hayley Westenra**

'**Far Away' by Nickelback**

'**Masquerade' by Ashley Tisdale** _(This song is so awesome and so fitting for our ball, so I just had to put it in at the end!)_

_And last, but not least…you guys asked for it, and we've finally decided to make it happen: Erik and I will _**try**_ to make our newfound relationship work… That means, as long as one doesn't kill the other. I guess we'll just see where this goes! ;)_

_Oh, and more news: __**We know where we're taking you guys for our next get-together!**__ It's going to be an awesome surprise for you all! We'll let you know when we're going to have it…but we can reassure you now that it's going to be a while before we decide to host it. For now, we're just going to settle down again and post a few regular chapters for a little while. _

_One last little note: There are some new policies for attending our Phangirl get-togethers, other than just reading and reviewing. Here's the list:_

_**No extras unless you get our permission to bring them.**__ It's getting harder and harder to incorporate everyone's guests, so we're only allowing a minimum number of extras._

_**From now on, there will be a deadline to confirm that you are coming to the get-togethers and give us your information.**_

_**Everyone attending is required to give us a certain amount of information.**__ Don't fret about this, we'll give you a short summary of what we need to have a successful, awesome get-together. :)_

_And of course, please __**read**__ and __**review**__! Thank you for attending and for your patience! We love you all so very much!_


	23. Decisions and Deliveries

_Decisions and Deliveries_

The very next day, I awoke in my bed with a groggy moan. It felt like it had been forever since I had actually woken up in my bedroom…oh wait…that's because, up until last night, I hadn't slept a wink in nearly two whole days!

It all then came flooding back to me: abducting Gerry, the Masquerade, music, dancing, flying food…and Erik… For a few seconds, I had to contemplate whether it had all actually happened or if it had just been a wonderful dream. Then I looked up at the clock and gasped in astonishment: it was nearly three o' clock in the afternoon! I had slept twelve hours straight! Even so, I felt like I could still easily go back and sleep another few hours, but I knew I would be up all night if I tried, and that's the last thing I need.

I was also quite surprised that no one had attempted to disturb me from my slumber… Not even Erik had come barging in, bugging me persistently to make him breakfast!

I then proceeded to roll over and find him no longer next to me and his mask missing from the bedside table. As I strained my ears, I could hear the muffled and distant voices of the rest of the family conversing in the kitchen.

I stretched before deciding to get up, pull my bathrobe on, and head out to join them.

**Mary Frances **_***on her laptop, as I come into the kitchen***_**:** Well look who decided to return to the land of the living!

**Me **_***rolls eyes while heading for the toaster***_**:** Ha ha, very funny…

**Christine & Raoul:** _***playing Yahtzee at the table, hardly notice me***_

**Erik **_***enjoying a glass of sweet tea, leaning against the counter in a bored manner***_**:** Good afternoon, dear. I trust you slept well…for 12 hours straight?

**Me **_***preparing to make some toast***_**:** Quite…I can't believe it's, like, 3 o' clock in the afternoon.

**Erik:** I was the first one up at 9 this morning…

**Me:** Why such an early hour? We all went to bed at 3 in the morning last night! Was it your stupid internal alarm clock?

**Erik:** No, your bloody cat woke me up, after failing to rouse you, and wouldn't leave me alone, so I got up, fed her for you, and just waited until Mary Frances, RaFop, and Christine got up.

**Me **_***smiles***_**:** Well, thank you for letting me sleep. I'm sorry she woke you, though… _***observes Raoul and Christine's game, turns to Mary Frances***_ What's with the Yahtzee game?

**Mary Frances **_***looks up from her laptop***_**:** Oh yeah, that…I was trying to keep them occupied and quiet. I didn't realize it would become an addiction…this is their ninth game in a row!

**Christine **_***suddenly throws her hands up in the air in victory, shouts***_**:** I WIN!

**Raoul:** What? _Again?_ Christine, give me your scorecard, I'm double-checking it!

**Mary Frances **_***shushes them to quiet down***_**:** Shhhh! Guys, come on! Gerry's still sleeping on the couch!

**Me **_***looks over into the den in astonishment***_**:** He's _still_ sleeping?

Indeed, I could see the Scotsman lying face down on the sofa, seemingly passed out in exhaustion.

**Erik **_***tersely***_**:** The question is, why is he _still_ here?

**Me:** _***gives him a look of warning***_

**Mary Frances **_***closes laptop and crosses her arms uncertainly***_**:** Well…I was thinking about that last night… What _should_ we do with him?

**Me **_***turns to face her***_**:** What do you mean?

**Mary Frances:** I mean, _Gerard Butler_ is here, with us, in this house, sleeping on our couch! I just think maybe we should reconsider setting him free so soon…

**Erik:** WHAT? _Why?_ He doesn't belong here!

**Me **_***ignores him, questions Mary Frances***_**:** You're saying you want to keep him here?

**Mary Frances:** Well, uh, yes, but not for the rest of his days… He could stay with us just for a little while!

**Christine & Raoul **_***teasingly singsong***_**:** Oooh! Mary Frances has feelings for the Scotsman!

**Mary Frances **_***throws a random crumpled paper at the pair of them***_**:** Oh, shut up!

**Me **_***quickly calms the ruckus***_**:** Mary Frances, I think that's a good idea! What fun, having our favorite Scottish movie star living with us in our house! _***turns to the rest of the family***_ What do you guys think?

**Raoul **_***shrugs***_**:** I think he's cool. Might be fun to have the men balanced with the women…even if just for a little while.

**Erik:** Even though I am against this completely, I just want to inform you, fop, it still wouldn't be balanced.

**Mary Frances:** _***stifles laughter***_

**Me **_***threateningly***_**:** Mary Frances…

**Mary Frances:** What? It's not like RaFop got that anyway! He's not smart enough.

**Raoul **_***blankly***_**:** Got what?

**Mary Frances **_***states matter-of-factly***_**:** See? Not smart enough!

**Raoul **_***rethinks Erik's comment, and rethinks it, and rethinks it…***_**:** …Hey, that's not nice!

**Mary Frances:** What? Me stating that you're not smart enough?

**Raoul:** No, that's fact, or at least that's what I've been told. Erik's not nice! He said I wasn't a man!

**Erik:** It really took you that long to figure that out?

**Mary Frances:** Ha ha, stupid!

**Raoul:** Double not nice!

**Christine **_***calming the cold war going on in front of her***_**:** I agree with Raouly-Boo… Gerry is quite the charmer and Mary Frances deserves someone to have around who she can spend quality time with.

**Mary Frances:** _***shoots her a glare***_

**Erik **_***hastily***_**:** I say we take a vote!

**Me:** Fine. All in favor of keeping Gerry here…just for a little while…

Everyone raises their hands…except for Erik…but that was to be expected.

**Erik **_***realizes he's outnumbered, continues to argue***_**:** Well…I still say he run back to New York or Scotland or wherever he pleases! Honestly, why would he even _want_ to stay here among us?

As I listened to him debate the matter, I realized Erik was not the best with change of any sort, whether it was temporal or permanent, and he was doing everything in his power to prevent it from happening. I felt bad because he was finally growing accustomed to being in our century and not his rightful one…and now we were throwing even more change in by adding another person to our crazy family…even if only for a month or two. What was more, I noticed he was not worried about the influence Gerry would have upon me, but of the mere presence of another person in the house.

**Me **_***takes his arm comfortingly***_**:** Erik…at this point, I don't think it matters if Gerry wants to stay or not. I think a withdrawal from his everyday life will do him some good, whether he agrees or not. Plus, how often do you get to live with an abducted movie star in your house?

**Erik:** _***rolls eyes, humphs***_

**Me:** We should let him stay with us…it will only be for a little while!

**Mary Frances **_***trying to get my attention***_**:** Narnie?

**Me **_***isn't listening, continues lecturing Erik***_**:** You never know, staying with us could be a life changing experience for him!

**Mary Frances **_***warily***_**:** Narnie…

**Me **_***still not listening***_**:** And we all know he could use an attitude adjustment…

**Mary Frances **_***frantically***_**:** _Narnie!_

**Me **_***finally turns to her frustratingly***_**:** _What?_

She didn't even have to answer me…suddenly, the smoke alarm abruptly starting ringing right above our heads!

**Christine & Raoul & Erik:** AAAGGGGHHHH! _***run and dive for cover***_

As everyone else started freaking out, I whipped around to find the toaster smoking!

**Me:** OH ***BLEEP!***, THE TOASTER'S ON FIRE! _***hurriedly pops the two pieces of blackened bread out of the appliance***_

**Gerry **_***springs up from the sofa in the den, looking around frenziedly***_**:** HOLY ***BLEEP!*** WHAT IN THE NAME OF ***BLEEP!***—_***stops upon seeing us in the kitchen and everything starts to come back to him***_ Oh…

**Mary Frances **_***waving the dishtowel to clear the smoke away from the smoke alarm***_**:** Good afternoon, Mr. Sleepyhead!

**Me:** You hungry? We have black toast! _***holds up the charcoaled bread***_

**Gerry:** _***looks more than slightly scared***_

**Mary Frances **_***once the alarm stops ringing***_**:** Sorry about that…Ms. Sleepyhead over here wasn't watching her breakfast…or should I say early dinner?

**Me **_***rolls eyes and disposes of toast, says to Gerry***_**:** Well, now that you're awake, why don't you take a seat? We need to talk…

He does so while the rest of the family warily comes back into the kitchen and retakes their seats, somewhat eager to see his reaction is to our proposal.

**Gerry **_***rather skittish***_**:** Is there…somethin' wrong?

**Me:** Oh no, of course not! We just have some…important matters to discuss with you.

**Gerry:** Such as?

**Me **_***sighs***_**:** Well…I don't know how you're going to take this…but we've made a few decisions about your…_***can't find the right word, looks over at Mary Frances for help***_

**Mary Frances **_***takes over***_**:** We've decided that you're going to stay with us for a little while longer than originally planned.

**Gerry **_***puzzled***_**:** …What're you sayin'?

**Me:** We're saying that you're going to be a part of the family for a little while.

**Gerry **_***puts it together***_**:** You mean ye're jus' goin' ta keep me here 'ntil you see fit ta let me go?

**Me:** …Pretty much. _***smiles meekly***_

**Gerry **_***starts freaking out, gets out of his chair and begins to pace***_**:** But-but I can't stay here! I've got ta git back! I-I can't stay and live in a house full of-of senseless, previously fictional characters, one of which I obviously brought ta life, an' two lil' women who run the whole joint!

**Raoul **_***suddenly starts laughing***_**:** Women? Who are you referring to? _Lauren and Mary Frances?_

**Me & Mary Frances:** _***look at each other nervously***_

**Gerry **_***confusedly***_**:** Well…yeah…who else would I be talkin' 'bout?

**Raoul:** They aren't women! How could you think that? I mean, come on, they've hardly even got any—

**Me **_***immediately offended, smacks Raoul***_**:** WE DO, TOO!

**Raoul **_***isn't quite finished***_**:** Alright, I'll take that back actually, Lauren does have—

**Erik **_***enraged, grabs Raoul from around the neck, snarls inhumanly***_**:** _Not…another…word…fop!_ _***releases him in order to dodge Christine's sudden aggression for attacking her husband…and fails…earning a hard slap across the face***_

**Gerry **_***now in shock, to me and Mary Frances***_**:** …Y-ye're underage?

**Me **_***bites lip***_**:** Yeah…we are. I'm sixteen…and Mary Frances, she's only fourteen.

**Gerry **_***horror-struck***_**:** But Lauren…you-you abducted me in a pub! I thought you were at least twenty and sneaking in! How the ***BLEEP!*** dijya even git in there if ye're only sixteen?

**Me:** That would be the magic of the combination of a twenty dollar bill and a greedy security guard.

**Gerry **_***now appalled, turns to Mary Frances***_**:** An' Mary Frances, you're only fourteen? My God, I could have sworn that you were at least—

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, I get that a lot.

**Me:** It's her maturity level…it's quite, erm, deceiving.

**Gerry **_***resumes pacing, grabbing at his tousled hair***_**:** I can't believe I hit on a pair of lil' teenage girls! Ya see, this is why I hafta leave! I can understand last night's lil' occasion, but keepin' me here with you fer God knows how long? I could be arrested fer jus' bein' here with the pair of you!

**Me:** …you're kidding, right? This is the South! No one really cares who lives with who! And don't blame yourself, you didn't know and we're at fault for not telling you in the first place.

**Gerry:** I still can't stay here in this…this insane asylum!

**Mary Frances **_***steps forward***_**:** It will only be for a little while! We just want more time with you, since you're already here with us! And we promise let you go eventually, just give us some time! Think of all the fun you had last night…

**Gerry:** _***sighs, obviously thinking it over***_

**Mary Frances:** Please, Gerry…think of it as making two of your biggest fans' dreams come true! *gives his arm a squeeze*

**Me & Mary Frances:** _***give him the irresistible puppy eyes***_

**Gerry **_***finally heaves a sigh before laughing***_**:** Alright…ya got me…

**Me & Mary Frances:** _***gasp excitedly, then start squeeeeeeing***_

**Gerry **_***smirks***_**:** But only because I can't resist yer blasted puppy eyes! _***playfully pokes Mary Frances in between the eyes***_

**Raoul & Christine:** Hold up, where's he gonna stay then?

**Erik:** He can't just keep sleeping until three in the afternoon on our couch in the den!

**Mary Frances **_***looks over at me***_**:** They have a point, you know.

**Gerry **_***leans and cracks his back***_**:** Yeah, an' I don't think my back can take another five minutes on that so-called couch…

**Me:** I guess we have some rearranging to do then. Somebody's got to bunk-up with somebody else.

**Mary Frances:** Well, why don't you and Erik share your room and Gerry can have Erik's lair?

**Erik:** Are you insane? I'm not giving my lair up to him! Besides, it's currently out of commission, as it were!

**Me:** _***looks back at Mary Frances and raises an eyebrow***_

**Mary Frances:** Hey, don't look at me! I've already established that he can't stay with me…

**Raoul **_***pipes up***_**:** Well…why don't I let him have my room…and I bunk-up with Christine?

**Me **_***skeptical of his offer***_**:** Hmm…I don't know about tha—

**Raoul **_***argues sensibly***_**:** I mean, we _are_ married after all…I think we deserve a room together as it is.

**Christine:** _***smiles naively***_

He was right; they were married and did deserve a room, so who was I to deny their request? Besides, it really was the only other sensible solution to our bedroom rearrangements.

**Me **_***sighs***_**:** Fine. Raoul and Christine can bunk and Gerry, you can stay in Raoul's room.

**Christine **_***throws her arms around Raoul's neck excitedly***_**:** OH YAY!

**Me:** Well, now that we got all that settled, I'm going to go and take a nice, long, hot shower…so you guys just behave and _try_ not to blow the frickin' roof of the place!

**Mary Frances **_***teases***_**:** We already did that, Narnie.

**Me **_***rolls eyes and shakes head***_**:** Just behave and I'll be out in a bit. _***goes down to my bedroom***_

**Raoul **_***gets up from his seat, says to Gerry***_**:** Well, I will get right on moving my stuff out of there for you so you can move in.

**Gerry:** I'll help ya. It's not like I have anythin' to "move in" with, anyway… _***follows Raoul up the stairs***_

**Christine:** So, Mary Frances, while the guys are busy, you wanna play Yahtzee with me upstairs?

**Mary Frances:** Um…no. There is no chance of winning when playing with you! I'll start moving RaFop's crap into y'all's room. _***turns to Erik***_ Wanna help?

**Erik:** No, I'll help later, but right now, I think I'll stay down here and enjoy the silence while it lasts.

**Mary Frances:** Suit yourself, but don't blame me when your "boredness" gets the best of you.

**Erik **_***calls to her from the kitchen***_**:** "Boredness" is not a word…it's "boredom", pipsqueak!

**Mary Frances**_***mutters to Christine while following her up the stairs***_**:**_ Watch him totally blow something up…_

Once everyone was upstairs, Erik came to realize silence was not as entertaining as he thought it was going to be…and he was just about to go and join the rest of them…when the doorbell rang.

**Erik **_***freezes suspiciously***_**:** Hmm…I know we're not expecting anyone… _***starts taking out Punjab lasso as he heads for the front door, all the while smirking evilly***_ No matter…I'll take care of it.

It just so happens that Gerry came down the stairs a minute later in search of something to eat. He was just about to open and raid the fridge when he noticed the front door was wide open in the other room…and he could see a lethal scuffle going on between Erik and a stranger outside.

**Gerry **_***thinking to himself while watching the brawl***_**:** _Obviously, we have a situation here…that I have no experience in handling whatsoever… So, I can either run _all the way_ back upstairs and down the hall and get Mary Frances and the two lovebirds…or I can go right down the hall to Lauren's bedroom and get her._ _***pauses and thinks it over***_ …Yeah, I'll get Lauren. _***starts down the hall***_

Meanwhile…

**Me **_***randomly singing in the shower (which is just a fancy glass box, for any of you who care)***_**:** _Tik Tok on the clock but the party don't stop no, woah-oh oh oh_—WHOA! _***mentally slaps self***_ God, I _must_ be sleep deprived if I've been reduced to singing _Ke$ha_ of all things…

Suddenly, Gerry busts up into the bathroom!

**Gerry:** Lauren! _***stops in shock, shields eyes***_ Oh God! 'M sorry!

**Me **_***shrieks and covers self***_**:** OH MY GOD! GERRY! WHAT THE ***BLEEP!***, I'M IN THE ***BLEEP!*** SHOWER!

**Gerry **_***still shielding his eyes***_**:** Yeah, yeah, 'm sorry, darlin', but we've got a situation!

**Me **_***turns off the water, grabs a towel, and wraps it around my body***_**:** _Oh for the love of God, is it a matter of life and death?_

**Gerry:** Yes, actually, an' the outcome of the matter is gettin' closer ta death every second, so come on!

He practically dragged me out of the bathroom, causing me to nearly lose my towel twice! My long, dark hair was absolutely soaking wet and leaving a trail of water behind me as we rushed into the front room…but what I saw caught me completely off guard.

There was Erik, just outside the open doorway, strangling a _delivery dude_ with his Punjab lasso!

**Me **_***standing in the doorway, screams exasperatingly***_**:** ERIK! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?

**Erik:** Greeting our unanticipated guest, what does it look li—why are you wearing a towel?

**Me:** Because Gerry here decided to bust in on me and drag me out of my shower to oversee _this_! _***stops and turns to Gerry***_ You _seriously_ needed to drag me out of the shower and oversee this "situation"…while I'm wearing nothing but a towel? You couldn't have handled it on your own?

**Gerry:** No way in ***BLEEP!***…the last thing I wanted was ta die by interferin' with _him_! An' I knew _you_ could put a stop to it without him tryin' ta kill you!…ya know, since he fancies you an' all…

**Me:** _***rolls eyes***_

**Mary Frances **_***comes running up with Raoul and Christine in tow***_**:** What's going on down here?

**Christine & Raoul **_***slip in the puddles of water that formed behind me***_**:** WHOA! AAGH!_***land in a heap on the floor***_

**Mary Frances **_***observes me***_**:** Narnie, why are you dripping wet and wearing nothing but a towel?

**Me:** Long story short…Erik is strangling a delivery dude… _***reality hits as I realize I haven't even made an attempt to stop the struggle happening in front of me***_

**Mary Frances **_***shouts***_**:** Erik! Would you let him go! It's just a frickin' delivery dude!

**Erik:** Oh, fine… _***releases delivery dude***_

**Gerry:** Why didn't I just get Mary Frances in the first place? I thought that his sweetheart would at least be able ta keep him from killin' people!

**Erik & Mary Frances **_***look at each other before turning back to Gerry***_**:** We're buddies. _***smiles***_

**Gerry **_***exasperatingly***_**:** You gotta be kidding me.

**Mary Frances **_***says simply***_**:** Nope.

**Gerry:** How?

**Erik:** Well, we've been through a lot together. Fireworks, Tarzan, and…_***stop self***_ Yup, we've been through a lot.

**Me **_***curiosity instantly sparked***_**:** "And"? "And" what?

**Erik **_***shoots a glance at Mary Frances before returning to the previous topic***_**:** We're buddies—that keep our promises…

**Mary Frances **_***mumbles so only Erik can hear***_**:** I didn't promise you diddley-squat…

**Erik **_***darkly***_**:** Buddies…

**Delivery Dude **_***stares in disbelief, mutters to himself but catching my attention***_**:** Loons…

**Me **_***calls to the delivery dude***_**:** I am so, so sorry about that, sir! Please forgive him, he's a little psychotic…it runs in the family.

**Delivery Dude:** Really now? I had _no_ idea! How many people would stand there in a doorway wearing a towel and not comprehend the seriousness of what's happening right in front of them! What is this, _normal to you people_?

**Everybody:** …yes.

Without another word, the delivery dude hurriedly shoves a crate into Raoul's arms and then unloads an entire group of men (who are all equipped with various tools) from his truck before leaping into the passenger side of the vehicle, barking at his driver to "FLOOR IT!"

**Mary Frances:** Narnie, dear, you can't keep relying on the "psycho" excuse.

**Me:** Well, it worked when Uncle Matt pulled the gun on a door-to-door salesman.

**Mary Frances **_***then agrees***_**:** Eh, true, true.

**Gerry **_***shocked***_**:** Why would he do that?

**Me:** Because he's awesome!

**Gerry:** 'Awesome' isn't the word I'd use.

**Me **_***asks wisely***_**:** What word would you use then?

**Gerry:** Psychot—_***stops***_ …huh.

**Me **_***wins the battle***_**:** There ya go.

**Raoul **_***excitedly exclaims***_**:** I GOT A PRESENT!

He immediately opens the crate and pulls out a bottle.

**Everybody **_***reading the label on the bottle***_**:** 'PASTE'?

**Me:** No, look, 'PASTE' stands for '**P**erfect **A**nd **S**upreme **T**ress **E**qualizer'!

**Everybody _*now get it*_:** Ooooooh!

**Raoul:** YAY! Now I have _two_ bottles of 'PASTE'!

**Mary Frances:** Wait, what do you mean two bottles? Where'd you get the other one?

**Raoul:** Oh, disneydork29175 also gave me a bottle of it at the masquerade last night! As a matter of fact, I'm going to go try it out now! _***waltzes off and heads upstairs***_

**Me **_***isn't sure if I should stop him or not***_**:** Um…

**Mary Frances:** Just-just let him go… _***observes Raoul's box* **_Hey, there's a note attached! _***picks it up***_

**Me **_***reading over her shoulder***_**:** Oh, Queen of Drama13 sent the 'PASTE' to Raoul!

**Mary Frances:** She says that Raoul has grown on her and she's made a resolution to be nicer to Raouls.

**Gerry:** But what 'bout all these guys? Why're they here?

**Me:** It says here that she _also_ sent an entire work crew to fix Erik's ceiling and our roof…in appreciation for having the masquerade ball! Aw, how nice of her!

**Erik:** I'll finally have my lair back!

**Me:** Yeah, but you better be thankful you have such loving Phans who think so highly of you and are even willing to send an entire repair crew to fix your dang ceiling in the first place because you know if it were up to me, _you'd_ be the one up there fixing your own ceiling…

**Erik:** Woman, how about you quit lecturing me and go put some clothes on!

**Me:** And how about you go…strangle some random delivery dude! I was merely making a point!

**Erik:** So was I…a point that you're soaking wet and wrapped in a towel!

**Work Crew **_***awkwardly standing there in the driveway***_**:** Alright, um…so I guess we're just gonna go fix that hole up there, so don't mind us… _***walk off to check out the damage***_

**Me & Erik:** _***don't even notice them, continue bickering in the open front door***_

**Mary Frances & Gerry:** _***roll eyes and leave us to sort it out***_

Christine, who has been standing there in silence throughout the whole ordeal, takes the liberty to shut the door, closing off the extremely confused neighbors' view of this whole situation.

**Next Door Neighbor Lady **_***worryingly, while working in her flowerbed***_**:** Carl, should we call the cops?

**Next Door Neighbor Man (or Carl) **_***trimming the leaves of a bush***_**:** Now, Ester, you know how those people are, they'll fix it. Well, they usually do. I think. Um…ya know what, honey, keep the phone nearby.

* * *

Later that night, I finally have clothes on my body and my hair is dry and braided. Erik and I are up in his lair, observing his now mended ceiling.

**Erik:** Impressive! Not bad for a group of men fished out of an Authoress' Chest of Plot Hole Fillers…

**Me:** I know, I'm quite surprised myself. And it only took them a couple hours to get it done!

**Erik:** I'll tell you what, I'm anxious to get a good night's sleep in here without having you kicking me awake in the middle of the night!

**Me:** What? I've kicked you in my sleep?

**Erik:** Oh yes, dozens of times! You've sat up, rolled over, grabbed onto me… You didn't know you constantly move in your sleep?

**Me:** No! Do I really?

**Erik:** You also talk and laugh! _***starts imitating (more like mocking) me talking in my sleep and trying to sound like me***_ _"Mmm…Erik, you smell _so_ nice…what kind of cologne do you use?"_

**Me **_***laughs and blushes***_**:** Shut up! Now I know you're making that up!

**Erik **_***continues teasing***_**:** _"Oh, Erik, I'm so cold…would you hold me in your arms and warm me up?"_

**Me **_***blushing furiously, but laughing as I start coming after him***_**:** Oh would you just shut up! That's NOT true!

**Erik **_***hopping around the room to avoid me, still at it***_**:** Oh, and this one time you nearly climbed on top of me! And you were saying, _"Ooh, Erik, you're just so hot! Let me rub your shoulders down for you, baby!"_

**Me:** _***finally tackles him, all the while laughing***_

**Erik**_***also laughing, collapses on the sofa with me in his arms***_**:** Admit it, you _do_ dream about me!

**Me **_***bites lip, confesses***_**:** I always have…even before you guys fell into our lives.

**Erik **_***smirks***_**:** _I knew it!_

**Me **_***playfully hits his arm***_**:** But not like _that_! You just made that stuff up!

**Raoul:** _***comes in***_

**Me **_***sees him and gets up from the sofa***_**:** Hey, Ra—_***stops with wide eyes***_ Oh God…

**Erik:** _***sees Raoul, covers his mouth with his hands, struggling not to explode in laughter***_

**Raoul **_***wearing his wig, which is now ruined and covered in a thick coating of glue***_**:** …It's not supposed to look like this, is it?

**Me **_***also fighting back to urge to laugh***_**:** No, no it's not…

**Raoul:** Well, I guess that's the end of the wig… _***sullenly removes the mess from his head to reveal his shorter, but real, perfect hair***_

**Me:** Yeah, you just need to deposit _that_ right into the garbage can…and then try putting the 'PASTE' that Queen of Drama13 sent in your _real_ hair; I think you'll be much more pleased with the results.

**Raoul:** Alright, if you say so… _***heads out***_

* * *

All the while, outside the lair…

"… _you're just so hot! Let me rub your shoulders down for you, baby!_"

Mary Frances, who had just gotten back from dance class, stopped dead outside the door to Erik's lair upon hearing the rather frightening phrase.

**Mary Frances **_***thinking to herself while hearing indistinct giggling and the springs in Erik's couch being compressed***_**:** _What the *BLEEP!* is going on in th—how the frick does the "Bleep Machine" work if you just thinking the words? More importantly, will I regret walking in there?_

Raoul then passes by (surprisingly no longer wearing his wig) still moving random stuff from his old room down to Christine's.

**Mary Frances **_***stops him, gesturing towards the door***_**:** Hey, what's going on in there?

**Raoul **_***nonchalantly***_**:** Oh, they're just fooling around.

**Mary Frances:** Ookay… _***hesitantly walks into the lair, shakes her head before approaching Erik and me***_ Hey, I'm back!

**Me:** How was dance?

**Mary Frances **_***shrugs***_**:** Same old. _***glances up at the ceiling***_ I see the roof's finished.

**Erik:** Indeed, we were just looking at it.

**Mary Frances **_***raises her eyebrows***_**:** Sure could've fooled me…all I heard was you two giggling and wrestling like a pair of love struck hyenas…I almost decided against coming in here.

**Erik & Me**_***stand together awkwardly***_**:** …No comment…

**Mary Frances:** Well, anyway, I picked this up on my way back and thought it could come in handy sometime in the future and possibly prevent any more mishaps…

She shows us a metal warning sign to post on our front door: across the top, it reads "CAUTION! KEEP YOUR HAND AT THE LEVEL OF YOUR EYES!" with a stick figure doing so and a Punjab lasso hanging down above the stick figure…

**Me:** _***breaks down in hysterics, leaves the room with the sign to go hang it up***_

**Mary Frances **_***whispers mockingly to Erik***_**:** _"You're just so hot! Let me rub your shoulders down for you, baby!"_

**Erik **_***visible cheek reddens in mortification***_**:** I-you-wait, h-how the ***BLEEP!*** did you—

**Mary Frances:** _***already racing out of the room and down the stairs***_

**Erik **_***chases her downstairs***_**:** Oh you're gonna die now, pipsqueak!

* * *

_So, we've decided to keep Gerry with us for a little while! What other ridiculous hysterics shall occur with him now thrown into the mix? Stay tuned and find out!_

_Oh, and thank you to Queen of Drama13 for sending Raoul's 'PASTE' and the work crew who fixed Erik's ceiling! _:D

_Thanks for reading, you guys! PLEASE REVIEW! We love you all!_


	24. Hysteric Halloween Horrors

_Hysteric Halloween Horrors_

It's Halloween afternoon. The curtains are all closed, not allowing any sunlight in, and all the lights are turned off. Mary Frances, Christine, Erik and I are in the den and _Friday the 13th_ is playing on the television in front of us. All of us are huddled on the couch, staring at the screen in horror, jumping and flinching simultaneously every now and then.

But as we watched, I couldn't help but feel someone watching us…

**Me **_***states warily to the others***_**:** …Why do I get the feeling we're being watched?

At my words, we all turn around…_to see Raoul standing there with his absolutely perfect hair!_

We all stare for a minute before…

**Raoul:** …yo.

**Everybody **_***screams at the top of their lungs***_**:** AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

**Raoul **_***starts laughing amusedly***_**:** What is wrong with you guys? It's just me! _***turns on the overhead lights***_ What are you doing?

**Mary Frances **_***holds up a few DVD boxes***_**:** Watching scary movies, what's it look like?

**Erik:** 'Scary' does not even come close … These things are lame and we've been watching them all day long!

**Me:** Then why are you watching them with us?

**Erik **_***smirks***_**:** Well, it's worth having you practically jumping into my lap…

**Me:** _***scoffs and rolls eyes***_

**Christine:** Raouly, where'd you get the new wig?

**Raoul **_***flips his hair and runs his fingers through it***_**:** It's not a wig! Many thanks to that 'PASTE', it grew back to its original length overnight!

**Me & Mary Frances **_***suspiciously approach him***_**:** Hmm… _***start yanking at his hair to see if he's telling the truth***_

**Raoul **_***starts squealing in pain***_**:** OW! OW, OW! CUT—ow!—IT—ow!—OUT! OW!

**Erik:** My turn! _***joins us in pulling Raoul's hair, just a 'little' bit harder ***_

**Raoul:** _***continues squealing like a baby pig***_

**Me & Mary Frances & Erik **_***finally stop and walk away***_**:** Alright, yeah, it's real…

**Raoul **_***massaging scalp***_**:** Jerks! I told you!

**Christine **_***throws her arms around him gleefully***_**:** YAY! Raouly's hair is back!

Suddenly, some idiot with a Scottish accent jumps out of nowhere, wearing a hockey mask, attempting to scare us!

**Idiot Wearing A Hockey Mask:** RHAHHHH!

**Me & Mary Frances & Erik:** _***stand there with unconvinced expressions***_

**Raoul:** _***shrieks and hides behind Christine, who is also unresponsive to the attempted scare***_

**Me:** Yeah, nice try, Gerry…

**Gerry **_***removes mask***_**:** Okay, now how in God's name can ya all freak out at the sight of RaFop but don't even flinch when I jump in here wearin' this?

**Mary Frances:** _***smirks at Gerry calling Raoul 'RaFop'***_

**Me **_***to Mary Frances***_**:** You taught him to call Raoul that, didn't you?

**Mary Frances:** _***wider smirk***_

**Christine **_***eyeing the mask***_**:** Where'd you get that thing anyway?

**Gerry:** I found it in a box of costumes down there in the hall.

**Erik **_***turns to me & Mary Frances***_**:** Why do you two have a box of costumes sitting out?

**Me & Mary Frances:** Because it's Halloween! Duh!

**Erik & Raoul & Christine:** Halloween?

**Me:** Yeah, it's an annual holiday that is celebrated on October 31st, which happens to be today. But on Halloween, people of this time normally like to do all sorts of different things to celebrate it, such as trick-or-treating, carving jack-o'-lanterns, going to parties, and having horror movie marathons.

**Christine:** Oh, I was wondering why you picked today of all days to lazy around and watch horror movies…

**Erik:** Still doesn't explain the costumes.

**Mary Frances:** Well, we weren't going to say anything 'cause we knew you'd all go nuts, but normally people like to dress up as either something cute, crazy, freaky, or just plain stupid and go trick-or-treating, which is when you go door to door around a neighborhood—

**Raoul:** Why on Earth would anyone do that?

**Me:** To get free candy, why else?

**Erik **_***eyes widen, immediately interested***_**:** _Free candy?_

**Christine & Raoul & Erik:** Sweet! Let's go! _***excitedly start for the hallway***_

**Me & Mary Frances:** No!

**Christine & Raoul & Erik:** Aww, why?

**Me:** Because why go plain, old boring trick-or-treating and get a bunch of crappy candy…when you can go get the bloody bejesus scared out of you at the Tourville Gauntlet and get all the chocolate in the world!

**Christine:** The whosits-whatsists?

**Mary Frances:** The Tourvilles. They're this really wealthy family that live down the street in another neighborhood and they absolutely _love_ Halloween. Every year, they invest a ton of money on the best decorations, candy, and costumes!

**Raoul:** But why do they call it a Gauntlet?

**Me:** Because they decorate and set up their entire front yard with a constructed maze that you have to go through to get to all the chocolate and they actually pay their friends to dress up in these unbelievably creepy and realistic costumes to jump out and scare people along the way.

**Erik:** And you're taking us through this thing?

**Me:** Yep! I can't wait to see what they've done this year!

**Gerry:** And ye're gonna drag me along, no doubt?

**Me:** You better believe it! We're not going to allow you of all people miss out on all the fun!

**Gerry:** Yeah, well, I'll go, but I'm not dressin' up…

**Me:** Oh yes, you are! If you're coming, then you're dressing up!

**Gerry:** No, 'm not, an' ya can't make me!

**Mary Frances **_***coaxingly***_**:** I know we have an awesome Dracula costume somewhere in that box…

**Gerry **_***considers his options***_**:** …Alright, fine…but only if you _***points at Mary Frances***_ wear a pretty lil' red dress to go along with it!

**Mary Frances:** Sure, whatever you say.

**Raoul:** So, wait, what can we _***gestures to Christine & himself***_ dress up as?

**Me:** Whatever you like! Just keep in mind that we only have an hour to get ready if you guys want to get there before the candy's gone, so hurry up and meet back here in the kitchen when you're set.

With that, we all took off in opposite directions to get dressed up.

* * *

About 1 hour later… I finished getting ready and reentered the kitchen to find Erik sitting alone at the little dining table, wearing his usual tux, cape, and mask.

**Erik:**_***looks up, observes my appearance, then whistles at me playfully***_

**Me **_***smirks, twirls around***_**:** How do I look?

**Erik **_***practically forces his gaze up to meet my own***_**:** …Stunning, as always. Who are you supposed to be?

As if my skintight, V-neck, floor-length, black dress with long, draping sleeves, shiny waves of dark hair, and light Goth makeup didn't instantly give it away…

**Me:** Morticia from 'The Addams Family'!

**Erik **_***clearly has no idea who I'm talking about***_**:** Ah…and why are you walking like that?

**Me **_***making my way over to him in little steps***_**:** Well, believe it or not, Morticia actually walks like this…but now I realize it isn't just a character trait of hers…it's the dress and the way it's designed…

**Erik:** Yes, well, why don't you sit down before you fall on your face? _***pulls me into his lap***_ I am more than aware of your klutziness when it comes to your feet…

**Me **_***sticks tongue out at him***_**:** But what about you, aren't you going to dress up?

**Erik:** I'm scary enough as it is, don't you think?

**Me:** Well, I don't know about "scary", but I'll let you slide…

**Erik:** Besides, all I want is the chocolate and I figured it wasn't necessary to dress up like an idiot to get it.

**Me:** _***rolls eyes, shakes head***_

Raoul and Christine then come down the stairs, hand in hand. Christine is wearing a simple but beautiful ball gown and Raoul is dressed in a royal uniform and his hair is pulled back into a ponytail with a ribbon.

**Me:** Aww, who are you two supposed to be?

**Christine **_***excitedly***_**:** Snow White and her Prince Charming!

**Raoul:** Prince Charming _with perfect hair_…_***strikes a pose***_

Gerry also comes down the stairs, wearing his Dracula getup.

**Me **_***observes him***_**:** Wow, not bad for having played that role eleven years ago!

**Gerry **_***smirks***_**:** Thank you, darlin'! You're lookin' mighty fine yerself as Mrs. Morticia…

**Me:** _***blushes***_

Finally, Mary Frances entered the kitchen, but not wearing the costume we expected… Instead of the flirty red dress Gerry had suggested, she's dressed in a black, long-sleeved shirt that reads on the front in orange print, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, THIS IS MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME" with a short orange skirt, black tights, and short, black boots.

**Erik **_***laughs***_**:** Now doesn't that just scream "Mary Frances"?

**Me **_***also laughing***_**:** Yes, it does!

**Mary Frances:** Thanks, guys!

**Gerry **_***looking her up and down, to Mary Frances***_**:** What is that ye're wearin'? Didn't I say—

**Mary Frances:**What?

**Gerry:** …red dress?

**Mary Frances **_***plays dumb***_**:** Red dress?

**Gerry:** Ye're supposed ta be wearin' one.

**Mary Frances:** I am? I don't remember that. Why did I say I'd wear a red dress if I didn't have one? Silly me!

**Gerry **_***staring incredulously***_**:** …Ye're tellin' me ya don't have a single red dress ta wear?

**Mary Frances:** Nope.

**Me **_***gets up from Erik's lap***_**:** May Princess, I have one you can borro—_***she hastily covers my mouth to shut me up***_

**Mary Frances **_***looks over at Gerry***_**:** Like I said, nope. _***smiles innocently***_ But you still look great!

**Gerry **_***sighs, realizes he's been tricked into dressing up***_**:** Oh fer love of God…

**Me **_***muffled***_**:** Ma iness, ear…i ca oo in't otice, I earin ood ed iptick an I pur-er i oo _in't _mear i olloer y ace… (May Princess, dear…in case you didn't notice, I'm wearing blood red lipstick and I'd prefer if you _didn't_ smear it all over my face…)

**Mary Frances **_***removes hand***_**:** Sorry, Narnie.

**Raoul **_***gasps, looks at Mary Frances***_**:** You understood that? It's like secret code! Let's try it the other way! _***slaps hand over Mary Frances' mouth***_ Now say something!

**Mary Frances:** It er an auh y ace efo I ite i, oo tupi a-op. (Get your hand off my face before I bite it, you stupid RaFop!)

**Me:** Uh…she says she wants you to stop.

**Raoul:** Oh, okay. _***removes hand***_

**Me:** Alright, shall we head out then?

**Everybody **_***heading down the hallway***_**:** YES! Let's go! Free chocolate!

We all pile in the van and within five minutes, we arrive at the Tourville's place…and are completely blown away by the setup in their front yard!

At the front of the driveway, there was a huge constructed shed that people were going into, and beyond that was the maze, which was made up of countless winding hallways of tall, white plaster walls. The rest of the yard is decorated with gravestones, a hearse, and all sorts of other creepy stuff. We could see a ton of freaky, costumed people wandering about and scaring the visitors.

**Me & Mary Frances & Erik & Gerry & Christine**_** *as we get out of the car***_**:** Oh…my…God…

**Raoul:** _***horrified, paling***_

**Christine:** I can't wait to see what's inside!

**Mary Frances **_***excitedly***_**:** Let's go!

We all start across the street…except for Raoul…who is planted firmly at the side of the van.

**Christine **_***stops upon realizing her husband is not next to her, turns around***_**:** Aren't you coming, Raouly?

**Raoul:** No way! I'm sorry but God only knows what's on the other side of those doors! I'm staying right here…where it's safe!

**Erik:** Fine, scaredy-fop! _***continues across the street***_ Come on, y'all! Let's go get that chocolate!

A bloodcurdling scream is then heard from inside the gauntlet…

**Me **_***halfway across the street, then starts to go back to the car***_**:** You know what, I changed my mind, I think I'm just going to stay over there with Raoul, you guys go on ahead!

**Erik **_***grabs my wrist***_**:** Oh no, no, no! Young lady, you are not chickening out on us now!

**Me **_***tries to fight him, but his grip is too strong***_**:** I am not chickening! I'm just a-a-a little creeped out!

**Erik:** You drove us here and now you're walking the gauntlet if I have to drag you every step of the way!

**Me **_***starting to panic***_**:** No, I don't wanna—we're gonna die!

**Mary Frances & Christine & Gerry **_***reassuringly***_**:** Lauren, everything's going to be okay, it's all for fun!

We reach the doors of the shed and the usher standing next to it pushes us inside.

**Me **_***frantically***_**:** No! Wait—!

The heavy doors slam shut in my face, engulfing the hallway in a dark, eerie red light. I try to turn around to see where the others had gone, but I realized my dress sleeve was caught in the door. I hurriedly pulled it out, but being careful not to rip the fabric. Once I was free, I turned around to see a smoky, dark hallway with hardly any light…and random screams coming from within. I thought I could see the others much farther ahead, but I couldn't tell, many thanks to the stupid smoke.

**Me **_***doesn't dare move, calls out***_**:** E-Erik?

I then look to my left to see a horned devil sitting behind a small, barred window, staring directly at me. I gasped and backed up against the opposite wall, which is made of a thick layer of black felt… I was just wondering why when I suddenly got the answer… Hands started pushing and clawing against it and inhuman snarling was coming from the other side!

**Me:** _***screams and leaps toward the other wall with the devil***_

**Devil **_***decides to flirt with me of all things***_**:** Heeey, hot stuff, how you doing?

**Erik **_***appears out of nowhere, growls***_**:** Sorry, bud, she's taken! _***takes my hand and leads me away***_

**Me **_***automatically relieved***_**:** Erik!

**Erik **_***stops and turns to me***_**:** Are you alright?

**Me:** I'm better now. Where are the others?

**Erik:** I'm not sure, we got separated after I went back for you…

* * *

Meanwhile, outside in the maze…

Mary Frances, Gerry, and Christine turn a random corner…only to have a goblin of some sort jump out at them, making them all jump in fright!

**Gerry **_***mutters***_**:** …They weren't kiddin' when they called it a Gauntlet!

**Mary Frances:** Just be thankful it's still light out!

**Gerry:** Yeah, if it were dark, it'd be straight out of a horror movie!

**Christine:** You think Erik found Lauren?

**Mary Frances:** I hope so…but we'll find out when we get out of this thing and meet up with them at the end!

They come to a two-way crossing.

**Christine:** Which way should we go?

**Mary Frances **_***leads them toward the left***_**:** Let's try this way…

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the shed…

**Erik **_***guiding me by the hand down the smoky, dim hallway***_**:** Come on, it can't be too much farther out of this bloody shed…

**Me:** Then we have to get through the maze! God only knows what—_***screams as something takes a hold of my foot***_ OH MY GOD, GET IT OFF!

By the time I've shaken the hand off, I'm panting in absolute terror.

**Me **_***completely panic-stricken at this point***_**:** Erik, we need to get out of here! It's not safe! We're going to die in here!

**Erik **_***grasps my shoulders***_**:** Lauren, hon, calm down! Remember, it's all fake!  
It's just part of the experience! _***takes my hands again***_ My God, you're trembling like a Chihuahua!

**Me **_***looks at him incredulously, then manages a little laugh***_**:** …a Chihuahua? _Really?_

**Erik **_***shrugs***_**:** Hey, it helped you calm down, though! Now, come on, we need to get out of here and find the others…

We continue feeling our way down the hall, which is now pitch-black, but soon enough, we start to see a vivid area of light coming off from the right.

But as we neared it, we realized it was a pair of ugly French doors, chained together at the handles and covered in warning signs. Suddenly, as we went to pass it and continue down the hall, something slammed against the doors from the other side, the force of the object threatening to break the chains and fly open!

**Me:** _***screams in alarm and grabs Erik's arm***_

**Erik **_***winces as my sharp nails dig into his arm***_**:** ***BLEEP!*** Easy, easy! Good God, what did you do to your nails? File them into talons?

**Me:** …I thought it would be a nice touch…

**Erik **_***taken aback***_**:** …"Nice touch"? You've practically drawn blood from my arm with them!

We finally reach the last part of the shed, which is a little room a step down from the hallway. Erik helped me down into it, but I immediately stopped upon seeing whose company we now shared…

In the right corner in a chair sat an older man with frizzed white hair. He was wearing a straightjacket and bore a completely crazed look on his face. An ugly nurse stood at his side, staring at us. To top it off, there was a lot of smoke and a strobe light effect being used to make it even creepier.

**Erik **_***shielding his eyes***_**:** Oh God, what is that?

**Me:** It's a strobe light!

**Erik:** …Is it supposed to make my head hurt?

**Me:** Um, no…_***sees definite pain in his expression***_ Oh my God, Erik, are you okay?

Erik muttered something incomprehensible as he leaned against the wall to regain his composure and I watched as the ugly nurse left the room…therefore, leaving the two of us alone with an insane old man in a straightjacket…

Suddenly, the man got up from the chair and started walking towards me. As he neared, I noticed one of his eyes was dilated and the other wasn't.

**Me **_***trying to be brave***_**:** N-nice contacts…

The old man then smiled…to reveal a pair of fangs! He continued to advance on me, making me finally give up on the bravery act and shrink. Erik was still leaning against the wall, holding his head in pain, unaware of my situation.

**Me **_***backs away from the vampire and quickly grabs Erik***_**:** Uhm, Erik, come on, we really need to get out of here! Now!_** *finds the exit and pulls him out of the room***_

The door shut behind us and we were now outside in the maze. We both leaned against the wall and rested for a minute.

**Me:** Are you okay? You scared me for a minute!

**Erik:** Yes, I'm fine now that we're out of there…

**Me:** What happened?

**Erik:** I don't know, but I took one look at that "strobe light" and my head started aching.

**Me:** At least you're okay now… Come on, we better get out of this maze and find the others!

We take a right and walk down the empty, sunlit walkway. I was thanking God the sun was still out to light our way.

**Erik:** Well this isn't so bad. Much less terrifying than that stupid shed…and the sun's still—

Just then, a freaky werewolf jumps out and starts to come after us!

**Me:** …You just had to say something, didn't you?

**Erik:** Run! _***takes off***_

**Me:** _***attempts to follow suit, but trips and falls right to the ground***_

**Werewolf:** _***now standing over me, growling inhumanly***_

**Me:**_***cries out and cowers, not knowing what to expect***_

**Erik:** _***jumps in front of me and backhands the werewolf***_

**Werewolf:** _***staggers and then falls to the ground, unconscious***_

**Me **_***as he helps me up off the ground***_**:** ERIK! Oh my God! You hit him!

**Erik:** Well, what'd you think I was going to do? Stand there and watch as he scars you for life? It looked like he was going to grab you or something!

**Me:** That's what he's _supposed_ to do! He wasn't going to hurt me! But you could have broken his jaw! You're going to get us arrested for God's sake!

**Erik **_***begins ushering me along***_**:** Yeah, now that you mention it, we better get out of here…

We hurriedly turn another corner to come face to face with a man wearing a bloody Leatherface costume and brandishing a chainsaw!

**Leatherface:** _***revs the chainsaw threateningly***_

**Erik **_***immediately alarmed, takes a step back***_**:** Whoa whoa whoa!

Meanwhile, I stood there in an unconvinced manner, eyeing the fire tattoo around the man's wrist…

**Me **_***smirks***_**:** 'Sup, Uncle Matt!

**Uncle Matt:** _***salutes me and lets us pass***_

**Erik **_***looking at me in astonishment as we continue through the maze***_**:** _That was your Uncle Matt?_

**Me:** Yep! He's great friends with the Tourvilles. I was wondering when we'd run into him.

**Erik **_***speechless***_**:** …We go through the shed and you freak out over everything…and then we go into the maze and you don't even flinch when some masked freak comes at you with a _chainsaw_! I, on the other hand, honestly thought we were going to die just now!

**Me **_***turn the last corner***_**:** Look! We made it!

We head out of the maze and find ourselves at the front of the Tourville's house. There's a long table set up in front of the closed garage doors. On this table is a display of bloody, severed body parts and a butcher with a cleaver stood behind it… Meanwhile, a lot of costumed freaks are walking around and conversing together.

**Erik **_***notices the remainder of our group standing together***_**:** There are the others!

We immediately rush up to Mary Frances, Christine, and Gerry.

**Mary Frances:** Hey!

**Gerry:** Ya made it out alive!

**Erik:** Just barely! Mrs. Talons here nearly clawed my arm off!

**Me:** And Mr. Aggressive _socked_ one of the costumed dudes!

**Gerry **_***cracks up***_**:** Nice!

**Mary Frances & Christine **_***look over at Erik in disbelief***_**:** _WHAT?_ Erik! How could you!

**Erik **_***defensively***_**:** Hey, that freak came after us and totally crossed the line! He's lucky I didn't bring the Punjab out on him!

**Mary Frances:** You're going to get yourself arrested if you keep that up!

**Erik:** Funny, Lauren said the same thing.

**Mary Frances:**_***begins smirking then snickering***_

**Me:**Mary Frances! Stop encouraging him!

**Mary Frances:** You have to admit…it's kinda funny…really, really funny!

**Christine:** No, it's…well… _***begins giggling***_

Soon the entire group was rolling on the ground laughing, causing all the costumed employees to stare at them like they were a pack of morons. They were probably correct in that though.

**Erik**_***recovers from laughing, then changes the subject***_**:** Now where's this candy?

**Christine:** It's through there!

She points at a pitch-black hallway that led up to the front door. More terrified screams and smoke were emitting from within. An intimidating clown stood at the entrance, staring down anyone who went past him to go inside.

**Me **_***staring at it in horror***_**:** …you're kidding, right?

**Mary Frances:** Nope, Mr. Tourville himself told us it's right in there!

**Erik:** Sweet, let's go! _***starts leading us towards the entrance***_

**Me **_***planted firmly by the entrance***_**:** There is _no_ way I'm going in there! Y'all can go right on ahead and die, but I'm going back to the car!

**Erik**_** *tries to pull me along***_**:** Come on, you've made it this far!

**Me**_** *frantically fighting him***_**:** No! Please! I'm not going in th—

Suddenly, a dude dressed as Pinhead comes out of nowhere and rushes at me!

**Me:** _***screams and jumps practically 3 feet in the air***_

**Pinhead:** _***is actually chained to the wall, stops in front of me, and then goes back to his position against the wall***_

**Other Observing Costumed Dudes:** _***snicker at my reaction***_

**Me:** I've had _enough_ of this! _***starts for the path to the exit***_

**Erik **_***stops me once again***_**:** Look, hon, I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice…

**Me:** What are you—

**Erik **_***grabs me & throws me over his shoulder, turns to the others***_**:** Alright, let's go!

We all head into the depths of the final hallway.

**Me **_***shouting & beating my fists against Erik's back***_**:** NO! ERIK! YOU PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!

**Mary Frances:** Just close your eyes, Lauren! It'll be over before you know it!

I finally quieted down, closed my eyes, and held onto Erik to assure I wouldn't fall off his shoulder. I could hear everything going on around me: the hissing of the countless fog machines, other ghostly sounds, the exclamations of my companions whenever they encountered a random costumed freak…

Finally, we stopped and Erik set me down.

**Mary Frances **_***to me***_**:** See, that wasn't so bad, now was it? Considering you were carried through it and had your eyes shut the entire time…

**Me:** Oh, shut it… If you knew what I've been through tonight—

**Erik **_***calls impatiently***_**:** Hello! Free candy over here just waiting to be confiscated!

We approach the table, which is laden with huge bowls of every piece of branded chocolate you can imagine! Each of us excitedly grabs handfuls and are about to throw them into our bag when…

**Supervisor Dude **_***standing by the table***_**:** Only four pieces per perso—

**Erik:** _***POW!s the Supervisor Dude in the face***_

**Supervisor Dude:** _***is now on the ground***_

**Erik **_***having a spaz attack***_**:** Oh, ***BLEEP!*** no, there ain't no way we just went through hell and back for four pieces of ***BLEEP!*** chocolate! _***starts dumping the bowls of chocolate into our bag***_

**Everybody:** _***stare at him in a frightened manner***_

**Erik**_** *throws the bag over his shoulder, starts to head for the exit***_**:** Well, what are y'all standing around for? Let's blow this dump!

**Everybody:** Sounds good!

**One of the Costumed Dudes:** HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? GIVE ALL THAT BACK!

**Everybody:** Aw, crud… RUN! _***take off***_

**Me **_***gets left behind 'cause I can't run in my costume***_**:** Wait! Guys! _***groans***_ Y'all know I can't run in this stupid—

**Mary Frances **_***rolls eyes, looks over at Gerry***_**:** …would you please? _***glances over her shoulder at me***_

**Gerry **_***gets the memo***_**:** Fine. _***goes back for me***_ Come on, darlin'! _***throws me over his shoulder***_

**Me **_***bouncing around as he makes a run for it***_**:** Ow—ow—ow! Could—you—be—any—gentler? Ow!

**Gerry:** Ya want me ta put ya down an' let them catch ya?

**Me:** No!

**Gerry:** That's what I thought…just hang on tight!

* * *

Meanwhile, outside across the street…

**Raoul **_***pacing by the side of the car***_**:** Where are they? They've been in there a long time…

Just then, another bloodcurdling scream coming from across the road reached his ears.

**Raoul **_***starts getting worried***_**:** Oh my gosh, something's wrong! They've been in there way too long! What if they need my help? What if those creeps captured them or something and are torturing them at this very moment? _***stops pacing and stands in a heroic fashion***_ I have to help them! I have to go in there and save them! Don't worry, guys, I'm coming!…right after I fix my hair…

He does so and then courageously charges into the shed!

Meanwhile, we were being chased from the Tourville's yard! By the time we made it out, crossed the road, and were panting breathlessly by the car, the employees had given up and went back to their posts. I took notice that the sun had finally set and it was beginning to get darker with every passing minute.

**Everybody:** …That was awesome!

**Christine:** Let's do it again!

**Me:** No way!

**Gerry **_***peers into the bag***_**:** Yeah, we have enough candy ta last us 'til—

**Erik **_***finishes his sentence***_**:** Tomorrow!

**Mary Frances **_***looking around anxiously***_**:** Uhm, guys…where's Raoul?

**Me **_***realizes he isn't anywhere in sight***_**:** Raoul? Raoul!

**Christine **_***calling fretfully***_**:** Raouly! Where are you?

Suddenly, a familiar, high-pitched shriek comes from the Gauntlet.

**Me **_***eyes widen***_**:** Oh no…you don't think he…?

Another scream confirms my assumption…

**Everybody **_***facepalm***_**:** Aw, crap!

We quickly stash our chocolate in the car before running back into the Gauntlet to retrieve Raoul.

Once again, my sleeve gets caught in the door!

**Me:** For the love of—_***groans and tries to pulls it free***_ Stupid dress!

I finally get it out and turn around to find the others are gone again and I'm left alone in the beginning of the Gauntlet!

**Me:** …Guys?

I wait for a response, but don't get one.

**Me **_***beginning to panic again***_**:** Erik? Mary Frances? Gerry? Christine? Raoul!_***stops and thinks to self***__ Wait a minute…did I really just call for Raoul?_

I was brought back from my racing thoughts as I began to hear ghostly sounds around me again.

I shut my eyes tight before running as fast as I could down the hallway. I finally opened them back up to realize that I'm in some random location deeper into the Gauntlet. I looked around, only to find that I'd come to a two-way path. I had no idea what route the others had taken. I decided on taking the left route but as soon as I had turned towards that path, I felt something grab my arm and I screamed…

* * *

Mere moments before, and much further down the gauntlet...

**Mary Frances **_***stops suddenly***_**:** Hey y'all…where's Lauren?

The group all heard their names faintly being called over the screaming "monsters" frightening their helpless victims.

**Christine **_***after hearing the last name***_**:** …Did she really just call for Raouly?

**Mary Frances **_***ignoring that***_**:** Erik, go try to find her again; I think it might be best if we split up anyway to try and find Raoul. Christine, Gerry, and I will go tell one of the workers that we lost Raoul—_***sees Erik standing still instead of going back through the maze***_ Erik? _***waits, but still nothing***_ Oh for the love of God, _really_? We've already gone through the Gauntlet once and you're _still_ scared of it?

**Erik:** I am not! I'm just…a straight-forward person! I can't go back when I'm straight-forward…even if it is my own girlfriend…

**Mary Frances **_***sighs, rolls eyes***_**:** Okay, Gerry, you go get her. _***Gerry's reaction is the same***_ One of you?

**Gerry and Erik **_***look at each other***_**:** Rock, paper, scissors!

**Mary Frances **_***cocks an eyebrow***_**:** You two are grown men and you still use rock, paper, scissors?

**Gerry:** How didjya think we kept the peace this last week?

**Mary Frances:** Whatever, carry on. Christine, remember to stay… _***looks around to see Christine is missing***_ Aw, crap.

**Gerry **_***loses***_**:** Aw, ***BLEEP!***! _***rolls eyes upon hearing the *BLEEP!* Machine go off***_ Really, _it_ follows us here, too?

**Erik **_***smiling in triumph***_**:** _It_ follows us everywhere and _you're _going back!

**Gerry **_***glares***_**:** …Best five outta nine!

**Erik **_***whispers to Gerry***_**:** Being a wimp while your _girlfriend _is around?

**Gerry **_***whispers a comeback***_**:** Bein' a wimp while yer _best friend_ is around?

**Erik:** Well, it's too late for me to impress her; Mary Frances figures everything out.

**Gerry:** What?

**Erik:** Magic. Tricks. Anything I try to dazzle anyone with she can explain.

**Gerry:** That must really hurt yer pride, man.

**Erik:** Honestly, it does.

**Gerry:** Ya can't really be a magician if yer tricks can be explained.

**Erik:** Yeah, I know…it really sucks having people around who are _almost_ as smart as yourself.

**Gerry **_***now eyeing Mary Frances***_**:** Smart chicks might be growin' on me…

**Erik:** She is a good friend; you know what they say about that, don't you?

**Gerry:** _***questioning glance***_

**Erik **_***states simply***_**:** "Break her heart and I'll break your face before stringing you up by your neck and popping your head off in one tug faster than you can say "no more soda for phantoms"."

**Gerry **_***nervously***_**:** …I-I don't remember that saying bein' that long.

**Erik **_***matter-of-factly***_**:** I remember it as being longer. After that, I'll—

**Mary Frances **_***after hearing yet another scream that went ignored by her companions***_**:** Erik, I can take care of myself, but obviously Lauren can't, so IF YOU PLEASE… _***trails off knowing that they got the memo***_

**Gerry **_***unwillingly walks away***_**:** I'm going, I'm going…

**Erik **_***after Gerry is out of hearing distance***_**:** You heard all tha—

**Mary Frances **_***cuts him short***_**:** Every last word.

**Erik:** ***BLEEP!***…Now on to finding the fop?

**Mary Frances:** No, Christine ran off, we have to find her now, too.

**Erik:** Poor thing, she's probably scared to death!

Well…

Christine had been extremely bored by the conversation between the men and Mary Frances so she decided to go out by herself. Although it wasn't certain how, the scenery made her go a little…demonic?

**Christine **_***runs up to random costumed dude and screams a possessed scream right in his face***_**:** !

**Costumed Dude:** _***passes out in shock***_

**Christine:** !_** *continues to run down the gauntlet, scare the living crap out of every person she passes***_

* * *

All the while, back at the beginning of the maze…

**Me:** _***screams as something grabs my arm before automatically whipping around and kneeing the man in between the legs***_

**Man **_***immediately lets go and collapses at my feet***_**:** OH SWEET ***BLEEP!***

It was just as the man cried out in pain and crumpled to the ground that I realized it was only Gerry…

**Me **_***drops on my knees next to him***_**:** Gerry! Oh my gosh, I am _so_ sorry! I didn't know it was you! Are you okay?

**Gerry **_***in agony***_**:** _…I'll be fine…just give me a minute…where didjya learn ta do that?_

**Me:** I took Tae Kwon Do for three years…and honestly, my reflexes were the only thing that I attained from it and managed to master…

**Gerry **_***bitterly***_**:** Now ya tell me… _***groans and starts to get up***_

**Me **_***takes his hand and assists him***_**:** Are you gonna be okay?

**Gerry:** Yeah, we need ta get back ta the others.

**Me:** And then we gotta find Raoul—

**Employed Costumed Dude **_***jumps out of nowhere***_**:** RHAAAH!

**Gerry **_***grabs my wrist and takes off in a random direction***_**:** HOLY ***BLEEP!*** RUN!

* * *

Meanwhile…Mary Frances and Erik are wandering around the maze, hoping to come up with either me and Gerry, Christine, or Raoul, but so far, no luck.

**Mary Frances:** UGH! How do we always manage to find ourselves in these situations?

**Erik:** I'm still trying to figure that out myself…why didn't we take the path we took last time?

**Mary Frances:** I have a feeling that Raoul might have gone to the right so we're going—

**Erik **_***complaining like a small child***_**:** Can we go look for Christine instead?

**Mary Frances:** I think Raoul would die before Christine, so it's more urgent to find him first, don't you think?

**Erik:** My point exactly…can we go look for Christine instead?

**Mary Frances **_***turns to Erik while talking***_**:** Erik, we really need to have a talk abou-_oh my god_...

Erik turns around to see Mary Frances frozen in fear and also froze. Looming over them was an undead gypsy-thing the size of Goliath.

Mary Frances watched as Erik's eyes grew to saucers and his face paled to the color of his mask. She was about to say something to help with the situation but what happened next came faster than the words would leave her mouth. The gypsy dude was there…and then he was gone.

It took a second for her mind to catch up with what her eyes had just seen. Erik's face turned back to the Phantom's glare before he socked the dude in the stomach. The dude then went flying through the barrier, leaving a Goofy-like outline of where his body collided into the plaster wall.

**Erik **_***breaks from his second frozen-like stance***_**:** …That felt good.

**Mary Frances **_***extremely impressed***_**:** That looked awesome!

They both started laughing, hanging on to each other to keep their balance, until…

**Employed Costumed Dude #1 **_***looking through the Goofy shape in the wall***_**:** Hey look, aren't those the people who stole all the chocolate?

**Mary Frances **_***standing wide-eyed beside Erik, who's expression is the same***_**:** …We're so screwed…

**Erik:** _***says nothing but nods***_

**Employed Costumed Dude #2 **_***who was also looking in***_**:** Get 'em!

In their attempt to make a run for it, Erik and Mary Frances accidently knock into one of the plaster walls of the maze, bringing it down with a crash!

Just as they take off from the scene, Gerry and I then approach the wreckage.

**Me **_***observing the area with wide eyes***_**:** Well…we're obviously on the right track…

**Gerry:** In that case, follow the destruction!

We cautiously pick our way around the damage and continue down the maze in search of our companions.

* * *

Meanwhile…somewhere else along the course of the maze, Christine's still running around and scaring the crap out of the employees!

**Christine:** RAAAAAAAHHH! Heheheheheheheheheh…! RAAAAAAAAAAH! Hehehehehehehehe…!

She then accidentally sneaks up on an unsuspecting Raoul, who is still fearfully wandering the maze, looking for us!

**Christine:** RAAAAAA—

**Raoul:** _***yelps and collapses on the ground in fright***_

**Christine **_***instantly snaps out of it and goes back to normal***_**:** Raouly-Bear! _***throws her arms around his neck***_ I'm so glad I found you!

**Raoul:** Christine! What's the big idea, scaring me like that?

**Christine **_***puzzled***_**:** …Like what?

**Raoul:** …Dear, you just jumped out and screamed right in my face!

**Christine **_***as innocent as ever***_**:** Raouly, I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about! Why would I ever do such a thing to you?

**Raoul:** _***opens his mouth to reply, but decides against it***_

**Christine **_***glances down, notices his pants are soaking wet***_**:** Oh my goodness, why are your pants all wet?

**Raoul:** Uhhhhh…

Just then, to Raoul's immense relief, me and Gerry come running up, but I automatically halt in my tracks upon noticing the pair on the ground in front of us.

**Me:** Oh hey—OOF!

**Gerry **_***stumbles and runs into me, making us both take a tumble to the ground***_**:** Aahhhh…'M gonna feel that in the mornin'… Sorry, darlin'!

**Me **_***starts to pick myself up***_**:** Honestly, how did I get stuck with _you_?

**Raoul **_***staring at us amusedly***_**:** Well, if it isn't the klutz and the Scotsman!

**Christine:** Now all we need is Erik and Mary Frances!

Right on cue, the last remaining duo comes running onto the scene!

**Gerry:** Speak of the devils!

**Me **_***realizes they are being chased by half a dozen costumed freaks***_**:** …And they brought company!

The next thing I knew, we were all together again…but cornered by a bunch of angry employees!

**Me:** Well, it was nice knowing y'all!

**Mary Frances:** We can't just give up!

**Me:** Oh, like you have a better idea!

Mary Frances and Erik then look at each other before purposefully ramming the wall behind us, immediately bringing it down with another crash, exposing the Tourville's yard and a direct way out of the maze!

**Me **_***staring in awe***_**:** …I stand corrected!

**Erik:** LET'S GO!

No one needed to be told twice; we all ran as fast as we could out of the yard and across the street to the car, all the while being pursued by the employees!

**Me **_***as we piled into the van***_**:** MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! THEY'RE RIGHT BEHIND US!

**Mary Frances:** HOLY CRAP! LAUREN, FLOOR IT!

I did so and we sped down the road, leaving the employees in the dust!

Inside the car, we all sat in silence as I drove along, listening to each other's panting…before finally bursting into hysterical laughter!

**Me **_***recovering, asks everyone's favorite 'partners in crime'***_**:** Oh my, gaaaah...okay, how did y'all know that wall lead to outside?

**Erik & Mary Frances **_***in unison***_**:** We didn't.

**Raoul **_***looks up from inspecting the "loot" with Christine in the backseat***_: What?

**Mary Frances:** We were just gonna bust down walls until we made our way out!

**Erik:** Luckily, we didn't have to break down but one!

**Mary Frances **_***looks over her shoulder at Gerry***_: And, Gerry, are you alright? I noticed you looked a little pained back there…

**Gerry:** Yes, well, Mrs. Morticia nailed me right in the—

**Mary Frances **_***cuts him off, gets his drift***_**:** Oooh yeaaaah, I probably should have warned you about her reflexes…my bad…

**Erik & Raoul **_***aghast***_**:** _Lauren!_

**Me **_***defensively***_**:** Hey, it was an accident! And I said I was sorry!

**Erik **_***snickers and starts to pick on me***_**:** First me with the pin…and now Gerry with your own knee! I'm beginning to see an unhealthy pattern here, hon…

**Raoul **_***pipes up***_**:** Yeah, I think from now on I'm just going to advise all of the male kind to steer clear of you, Lauren!

**Mary Frances **_***smirks, remarks forebodingly***_**:** You better watch it, RaFop; you could very well be her next victim!

We all laugh as Raoul shuts up at once and apprehensively crosses his legs.

Within minutes, we safely arrive back at home.

**Gerry **_***as we head into the house together***_**:** Well, I dunno 'bout the rest of you lot, but I'm in need of a serious drink right now…

**Erik:** I'll second that!

The two men head right into the kitchen while me, Mary Frances, and Christine go right across the way into the den with the huge bag of chocolate. None of us bothered to change out of our awesome costumes…except for Raoul, whose soiled trousers were becoming quite uncomfortable.

**Christine **_***plops down on the sofa, selects one of our remaining horror movies***_**:** Who's up for _The Exorcist_?

**Raoul **_***shouts as he ascends the stairs***_**:** PLEASE NO! I already need a new pair of pants!

**Me **_***calls back***_**:** Then how about _Paranormal Activity_? It's not that gory, but it's still really good and creepy!

**Raoul:** …If you say so.

Therefore, the four of us sat in the den, chowing down on our chocolate, watching _Paranormal Activity_…but after a while, we've consumed so much chocolate that we're not even really paying much attention to it and making fun of the movie! Meanwhile, Gerry and Erik also munched on the chocolate while enjoying a beer or two in the kitchen.

It seemed like the perfect ending to yet another hysterical evening…but it was far from over…

Suddenly, the whole house was engulfed in complete darkness and the television screen in front of us went blank!

**Everybody **_***exclaims in confusion***_**:** Whoa! Hey!

After a second, we realized the power had been abruptly shut down. The only source of light was the next door neighbors' backyard lamppost that cast an eerie light through the windows in the den.

**Raoul **_***whimpers and huddles closer to Christine***_**:** W-what happened?

**Mary Frances:** Maybe a blackout?

**Me:** I don't think so; it looks like the neighbors have power._** *carefully gets up from the sofa, grabs a flashlight* **_Nobody panic…I'm gonna check the circuit box outside.

Regardless of my words, they all started to get freaked out.

**Erik:** NO! BAD idea!

**Christine:** Lauren, are you stupid?

**Mary Frances:** Do NOT go out there!

**Raoul:** _***still whimpering in trepidation***_

**Me:** What has gotten into y'all?

**Mary Frances **_***frantically***_**:** What if there's some serial killer out there trying to lure us outside?

**Me **_***laughs***_**:** I think y'all have watched one too many horror movies…

We then all jumped at the sound of someone hitting the window from the outside. We looked to see a dude wearing a hockey mask, peering in and staring motionless at us!

**Me **_***remembering how Gerry had tried to freak us out earlier with the same mask***_**:** Oh, very funny, Gerry!

**Gerry **_***calls from the kitchen***_**:** Um, darlin', I'm right here…

I looked over at him…then back at the masked creep in our window with wide eyes…

**Erik **_***terror evident in his voice***_**:** …Can we panic now, Lauren?

**Me:** Sure, why not?

**Everyone **_***screams at the top of their lungs***_**:** !

Outside, the creeper fleas from the window and starts to make his way around the side of the house.

**Me **_***stumbles through the darkness of the kitchen***_**:** OH MY GOD! QUICK! LOCK THE DOORS! NOW!

We all make a mad dash in the dark, trying to make sure every door is secure.

**Erik & Gerry **_***bang heads trying to find their way out of the kitchen***_**:** OW! ***BLEEP!***

**Raoul:** _***still screaming his head off, trips over the stairs in the den***_

**Mary Frances & Christine **_***bang heads trying to find their way out of the den***_**:** Ooooow!

**Me**_** *nearly runs into the wall while heading out into the front parlor***_**:** Sweet mother—

**Erik**_** *stumbles after me***_**:** Wait! Lauren!We have to keep together!

**Gerry:** _Have you all lost yer bloody minds?_ Someone needs ta call 911 fer God's sake!

**Mary Frances:** Screw 911! Just grab something and be ready to hit whatever steps foot in our house! _***takes a hold of Gerry's arm and starts to lead him down the hall***_ Come on, we need to get to the garage door! Christine, you watch the door to the back porch in the living room!

**Christine **_***grabs her random weapon of choice***_**:** Got it!

**Mary Frances:** RaFop…you just…stay put and hide!

**Raoul:** _***whimpers from the den***_

Meanwhile, I finally found the front door and was just about to lock it when—BANG! It flew open as someone kicked it from the other side, sending me right to the ground with a shriek of terror! And in leapt "Leatherface", brandishing a chainsaw!

**Me:**_***screams & tries to back away***_

**Erik:** LAUREN!

"Leatherface" then turned towards Erik and was about to charge him, but I whacked him in the shin with my weapon, giving Erik enough time to Punjab him!

Down the hall, Mary Frances and Gerry run to the garage door, only to have it busted down by the creeper dude wearing a hockey mask!

**Gerry:** _***automatically shields Mary Frances & whacks "Jason" over the head with his weapon of choice, rendering the dude stunned and on the ground***_

In the living room, Christine was guarding the back porch door in the living room only to have a werewolf break in and come at her…but all that was heard was a simple "BONG!" and then silence…

"**Leatherface" **_***still being strangled by Erik…but won't die and sounds strangely enough like Uncle Matt***_**:** Alright! Hey! Hey! Cut it out! It's just me! It's Uncle Matt!

**Me **_***quickly gets to my feet upon hearing his familiar voice***_**:** …Uncle Matt? Erik, let him go! It's just my uncle!

He immediately obeys and roughly releases my masked uncle from his lasso.

As Uncle Matt regains his composure, Erik grabs me and holds me close to him, as if expecting it to be a trap.

**Erik **_*** breathlessly asks Uncle Matt***_**:** For God's sake, man…how have you not died yet? I was sure I would have popped your head off at some point during all that!

**Uncle Matt **_***removes mask and then shows his hand, which is at the level of his eyes***_**:** Well, I figured y'all had that sign out there for a reason! _***starts laughing***_ We _so_ got you guys!

**Me **_***panting, not seeing what's so funny***_**:** What are you—

**Uncle Matt **_***leans out the doorway, yells***_**:** JOE! HIT THE LIGHTS!

The overhead lights instantly turned back on and the house was once again illuminated.

Mary Frances, Gerry, and Christine all came into the front parlor, looking around cautiously and being followed by a laughing "Jason" and the creepy werewolf Erik had punched in the maze earlier.

**Uncle Matt **_***high-fives his costumed companions***_**:** Awesome job, guys! We got 'em good!

**Mary Frances:** Wait! So you guys broke into our circuit box—

**Gerry:** Shut the power down—

**Christine:** And then proceeded to scare us to death?

**Me:** Seriously, what the ***BLEEP!*** were you thinking?

**Uncle Matt:** I was thinking that when I heard all the candy had been stolen back at the Gauntlet, I knew it had to be y'all, so I came over here with Joe, Chris, and Paul to teach you a lesson!

**Me:** Yeah, but even so, that was _not_ funny and just wrong! Somebody could have gotten hurt! I don't even know how we managed to grab weapons…

**Uncle Matt **_***starts chuckling while observing the objects in our hands***_**:** I must say, I'm quite impressed with each of your choices…

I had a big flashlight, Erik brandished his Punjab lasso, Mary Frances was gripping the television remote, Christine held a frying pan, and Gerry, an empty beer bottle…

**Erik **_***breaks the silence***_**:** So, now that that's over and done…y'all want something to drink? Gerry and I were enjoying a beer before you came busting up in here.

**Uncle Matt **_***follows us into the kitchen***_**:** Yeah, a beer sounds awesome!

**Me **_***takes a seat at the island bar***_**:** Wow…I gotta say, this was the _best_ Halloween I've ever had!

**Everybody:** _***agrees wholeheartedly***_

**Raoul **_***finally comes out of hiding, starts to head up the stairs again***_**:** _I need another pair of pants…_

* * *

_Happy VERY LATE Halloween everybody! And a happy Thanksgiving, as well!_

_Oh, and in case you haven't noticed yet, I now have a "progress thingy" on the top of my profile, so be sure to check back on it whenever you want to know what's going on with the upcoming chapter!_

_We love you all and hope you enjoyed this addition to our hysterical adventures! Remember to REVIEW and tell us how your Halloween was! :)_


	25. A Wild Night on the Fairgrounds

_A Wild Night on the Fairgrounds_

Later on that week, it's Friday afternoon, our favorite day of the week! Mary Frances and I are both sitting in the kitchen, working vigorously on finishing our school for the weekend. Meanwhile, the rest of the family is lounging around in the den, trying to keep each other occupied until we're done.

**Me & Mary Frances **_***both close our laptops at the same time upon submitting our final assignments***_**:** Done!

**Me **_***looks over at Mary Frances***_**:** See? I told you there would be a day when I would finish school work before you!

**Mary Frances:** You weren't even close!

**Raoul **_***standing quietly, looking at the screen of my cell phone***_**:** Eh, so close, yet so far…

**Me & Mary Frances:** Huh?

**Raoul **_***holds up the phone***_**:** I filmed it on your phone then watched it in slow motion. Mary Frances had you by a thousandth of a second, Lauren!

**Me **_***shaking my head***_**:** I will never understand you… Anyways, we're done y'all!

**Erik **_***jumps up and comes into the kitchen***_**:** Good, now what's for dinner?

**Me:** I swear, is that all you men think about: food?

**Gerry:** No! Women are a pretty ordinary focus, too! _***winks at us jokingly***_

**Me**_** *crosses arms disapprovingly***_**:** Now that was just uncalled for!

**Mary Frances **_***reasonably***_**:** Well, Narnie, he does have a point…they're only men, after all.

**Me **_***smirks***_**:** Indeed…at least two thirds of them are.

**Christine **_***threateningly***_**:** That better not mean what I think it means!

**Raoul **_***clueless***_**:** …What's it supposed to mean?

**Erik **_***rolls eyes before replying***_**:** Lauren was, yet again, making a point that you are not a man, fop!

**Raoul:** How many times are we going to go over this? I am _so_ a man! I will prove it right now to each of you if you want me to! _***reaches for his trousers***_

**Everybody **_***immediately grossed out, starts freaking out***_**:** NO NO NO NO! That won't be necessary!

Raoul's hands thankfully drop to his sides at our sudden outbursts of alarm and he smirks at us.

**Raoul:** You _really_ thought I was about to do that?

**Me:** Well, we can never tell with you!

**Raoul:** Wow, how dumb can you get?

**Mary Frances **_***retorts***_**:** Nowhere near as dumb as you, RaFop.

**Erik **_***changes the subject back to food***_**:** …So what's for dinner?

**Mary Frances:** Well, we're planning on going out for the night!

**Christine **_***claps hands together excitedly***_**:** OH YAY!

**Me **_***starts singing RENT***_**:** _Let's go oooowwut tonight!_

**Erik **_***teases***_**:** Are you hinting that we're going to a bar or club?

**Mary Frances **_***with complete sarcasm***_**:** Oh yeah, Erik, we're all going to sneak into a bar or club! That's _exactly_ how we want to spend our Friday night!

**Gerry:** Sounds fun ta me!

**Me:** Only because you men would be the only ones allowed in!

**Gerry:** That obviously didn't stop _you_ before…

**Me:** …Oh yeah…heheh…_***looks down awkwardly***_

**Erik **_***to me***_**:** Well, if we're not going to a club or a bar, then just _where_ do you plan on dragging us?

**Me:** To the county fair!

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, it's in town this week and we think it'd be really fun to just go and hang out there for the night!

**Me:** There's so much to eat and do! You guys are going to love it!

**Raoul **_***enthusiastically***_**:** Wow, sounds great! Let's go!

**Gerry **_***halfheartedly***_**:** I still think the bar or club sounds better…

**Me:** Shut it, Gerry; you're under our roof now and you will abide by our rules and the first rule is no drinking outside the comfort of this home!

**Raoul:** What? Since when are there _rules_?

**Me **_***elbows him in the gut, hisses***_**:** _Would you shut UP?_

**Christine **_***changes the subject***_**:** Hey wait, aren't the fairgrounds where _couples_ like to go for a nice night out together?

**Me **_***not having the slightest idea about where she's going with this***_**:** Um, sure, I guess…why?

**Christine:** Well, why don't we make it a nice triple date night? Like me and Raouly can have our first "date" here in the 21st century, Lauren and Erik can also have their first official date, and Mary Frances and Gerry can "get to know one another"!

**Mary Frances **_***leans over, asks me in a weirded out tone***_**:** …When did she become a relationship expert?

**Me **_***mumbles to self***_**:** That does it, I'm taking my gossip magazines back from her and hiding them…

**Erik **_***thinking to himself***_**:** _They have magazines entirely devoted to gossip?_

**Mary Frances **_***cocks an eyebrow at Christine, points out suggestively***_**:** Didn't you two already have your first "date"?

**Christine:** No, that was just—

**Mary Frances **_***hurriedly cuts her off***_**:** AGH! My ears! They bleed!

**Christine **_***eagerly***_**:** So what do you guys think?

**Raoul:** I think it'll be fun!

**Me:** And I actually agree with him…for once!

**Mary Frances:** Me too!

**Gerry **_***smirking***_**:** It'll certainly be interesting, now that we've made it a triple date… _***winks at Mary Frances***_

**Me **_***looks over at Erik, who is sitting nearby unresponsively, calls to him***_**:** …Erik? You're awfully quiet over there, dear.

I could tell he was having a moment, seeing as his face bore a cold expression and he hadn't uttered a word since I said the word 'fair'.

When he didn't reply, I got up from my seat and coaxingly took his arm, pulling him to his feet.

**Me:** Come on, why don't we talk while I get ready? _***starts to lead him out of the kitchen***_ The rest of you guys be ready to leave in fifteen minutes.

We leave the remainder of the family in the kitchen and went down to my bedroom.

**Me **_***as I close the double doors behind me***_**:** Alright, now what's this all about?

**Erik **_***takes a seat on my bed***_**:** I just don't think this is a good idea…

**Me **_***sits down next to him, asks in a gentle tone***_**:** What do you mean? …Is this about the freaks and gypsies?

**Erik **_***sighs and avoids eye contact***_**:** The last time I attended a fair, I was the main attraction and I was abused and tortured in a cage on a daily basis by those money obsessed gypsies…being laughed and jeered at, people poking me with sticks and throwing rocks at me…all because of this… _***gestures toward the disfigured side of his face***_ And now I can't help but feel an inkling of hatred towards the idea of a travelling fair—

**Me **_***stops him, tenderly takes his face and turns him to look at me***_**:** Hey, hey…listen to me: first off, _this_ _***takes his mask off and strokes his cheek***_ is what makes you unique…not hideous or monstrous. _***trails my hand down to his chest and covers his heart***_ It's what's on the inside that counts… Second off, travelling fairs in the 21st century are _completely_ different from those in the 19th century, okay? There are no freak shows, no gypsies…just all the junk food in the world, games, and rides!

**Erik **_***finally cracks a smile***_**:** Alright, you had me at "junk food". I swear, that stuff is one of the best creations known to man of this century…

**Me **_***smiles back***_**:** Trust me, you're going to love it! And I need to start getting ready… _***stands up and crosses the room to my dresser***_

**Erik **_***also stands, but stays and watches me***_**:** I've come to understand that this will be our first "date", as they call it in this time.

**Me **_***smirks, replies simply while putting together one of my favorite, dark outfits***_**:** Yeah, it will be.

**Erik **_***concernedly***_**:** …Is that okay?

**Me:** Oh, of course! I'm really excited! I mean, I've never been on a real date before…but since it will be our first, I want to make it clear to you that I _will not _have you going out of your way to cause destruction! I just want a sweet, normal first date! So, in summary: no fireworks, no crazy stunts, no eradicating of any cute boy who happens to look my way, no—

**Erik **_***abstractedly observing my clothes***_**:** You know, it just occurred to me that all your wardrobe consists of is dark colors…

**Me **_***turns around to face him exasperatingly***_**:** Are you even listening to me? And yeah, dark colors are my trademark; everybody recognizes me through my fancy, dark clothing choices.

**Erik:** You should brighten it up a bit and throw a little color in there.

**Me **_***defensively***_**:** I wear colors, Erik.

**Erik **_***sensibly while crossing his arms***_**:** Black, white, and grey with the occasional red, blue, and purple are not considered a "colorful wardrobe", darling.

**Me:** Well, I refuse to wear pastels and "girly" colors, like pink, yellow, orange, lime green—okay, are we seriously arguing over the colors of my wardrobe?

**Erik **_***steps forward, looking me dead in the eye***_**:** Alright, how's this: I promise I will not go out of my way to cause trouble on our first date…as long as I get to pick your outfit for the night and you wear it to the fair.

**Me:** _***eyes widen in terror at such a proposition***_

* * *

About ten minutes later, Erik comes waltzing back into the kitchen with a smug look upon his face.

**Mary Frances **_***looks up from unloading the dishwasher***_**:** Well, that's certainly a revolution; one minute, you're as troubled as they get and the next, you're as satisfied as the cat that ate the canary!

**Erik **_***smirks and leans against the counter next to her***_**:** Yes, well, Lauren always seems to know _exactly_ what to say to make everything okay.

**Mary Frances **_***smiles***_**:** She's always had that effect… So, it's going to be you guys' first date; you got anything special in mind?

**Erik **_***looks over at her, clueless***_**:** What do you mean?

**Mary Frances:** Well, I don't know, it's your first date! I would think you'd have something up your sleeve!

**Erik **_***trying to buy some time, asks cynically while crossing his arms***_**:** Well, does _Gerry_ have anything planned for the two of you for your first date?

**Mary Frances **_***hisses at him***_**:** Hey, it's _not_ a date! We're just pairing up for the night, I guess… But don't change the subject! I'm guessing you've got nothing, then?

**Erik **_***sighs in a defeated manner***_**:** …I'll think of something…

**Mary Frances **_***pats his arm optimistically***_**:** Well, I think between the two of us, we can come up with something. Hey, maybe we won't blow up anything in the process!

**Erik **_***raises his eyebrows, evil grin***_**:** Lauren didn't say anything about "no bombing the place out"…

They both look at each other…

**Erik & Mary Frances **_***start laughing their heads off***_**:** BWAHAHAHA!

**Mary Frances **_***regains composure & glances at the clock***_**:** Seriously, what is taking Lauren so long? All she does is throw on a ton of black and she's good to go!

**Erik **_***puts back on the smug act***_**:** Well, I made a few modifications to her outfit…

**Mary Frances **_***looks over at him in a frightened manner***_**:** Um, what do you mean by that?

**Erik **_***still smug***_**:** You'll find out soon enough…

**Mary Frances **_***warningly***_**:** Erik, if she comes out here looking like some—

**Erik:** Don't worry…

**Mary Frances:** What did you—

She didn't even finish her sentence and immediately stopped in utter shock when I came sulking into the kitchen with the ultimate sour look on my face…and wearing the brightly colored evidence of my now crabby mood.

**Erik:** _***observing me in satisfaction***_

**Mary Frances**_** *staring in astonishment***_**:** Oh…my…

I was wearing a hot pink scoop neck top with an orange turtleneck underneath it. I was also wearing a pair of bright blue jeans and on my feet were bright yellow ballet flats. To top it all off, a lime green jacket hung over my arm for once the night got dark and chilly.

**Me **_***giving the pair of them the death glare while stalking past them***_**:** _Not one word…_

**Mary Frances **_***in evident shock, turns to Erik***_**:** …_How could you?_

**Erik **_***shrugs, smirks, & replies simply***_**:** A deal's a deal.

**Me **_***calls to the others***_**:** Alright, let's head out!

**Christine **_***jumps up from the sofa in the den***_**:** YAAAY—_***sees me, stops in alarm***_—yoooooooooo…

**Gerry:** _***bites his lip, holding back his own laughter***_

**Raoul **_***laughingly***_**:** Whoa! Is there a reason you look like a walking rainbow, Lauren?

**Me:** _***pops him a good one in the back of the head before storming down the hall and into the garage***_

* * *

The car ride was not as bad as I had imagined it, seeing as the rest of the family decided it not the best idea to bring up my unnatural appearance. At least I would have a nice, normal, destruction-less first date with Erik…but even if he breaks the deal and puts one toe out of line, I always had my emergency retaliation plan…

We arrived at the fair by sundown and parked among the hundreds of other cars in the parking lot.

**Christine **_***walking arm in arm with Raoul, staring in amazement at the Ferris wheel as we head up to the front gate***_**:** Oh my gosh! What is that thing?

**Mary Frances:** It's a Ferris Wheel. You sit in one of those compartments and it spins around a couple of times.

**Raoul **_***gulps, asks in a timid voice***_**:** …Is it safe?

**Christine:** I sure hope so…'cause I can't wait to ride it!

We pay for our admittance and then walk down the huge shelter, where all the arts and crafts were on display with their awards and ribbons. It was near the art section where I noticed Erica, Lainee, and Sarah, three of my acquaintances, were standing and conversing together.

**Me **_***smiles and waves to get their attention***_**:** Hey guys!

The girls looked up, but merely stared, as if they didn't recognize me. I then realized my bizarre outfit was confusing them of my identity.

**Me **_***reddening in the face***_**:** It's me, it's Lauren…

**Erica & Lainee & Sarah **_***stop staring at my clothing & finally put it together***_**:** Oh, hey! _***go back to gossiping***_

**Me:** _***now embarrassed, goes back to sulking***_

**Erik **_***catches up to me & slips his hand into mine***_**:** Oh come now, are you going to be like this all night?

**Me **_***irritatingly***_**:** Did you see that? No one even recognizes me! I look like a complete idiot!

**Erik:** A deal's a deal, darling. And I don't think you look like an idiot…just a grumpy, walking rainbow…

**Me:** Yeah, well, in comparison, _you_ look like the nutcase…I mean, the mask I can understand, but did you seriously have to wear the tux and cape?

**Erik:** Yes, it's my signature look!

**Me:** _***rolls eyes, sighs exasperatingly***_

**Erik:** But what I'm trying to say is that it's not all about looks…it's about being yourself and just having a wonderful first date together. What you look like and what you're wearing doesn't matter.

**Me **_***smiles at him***_**:** You're right…

**Erik **_***arrogantly***_**:** I always am.

**Gerry**_** *dashes up and shoves Erik's arm***_**:** Yeah, keep dreamin', Phantom!

**Erik:** _***playfully tackles Gerry & puts him in a headlock***_

I laughed and smiled elatedly at the sight of the pair of them getting along and just being guys.

**Mary Frances **_***also laughing, calls to them***_**:** Come on y'all! Let's go get some dinner!

**Christine:** YAY!

**Gerry **_***as Erik releases him***_**:** Good, I'm starved!

**Mary Frances:** Well, what should we get?

**Raoul **_***looking down the line of countless food stands***_**:** There's so much to choose from!

**Erik:** And it all smells so heavenly!

**Me:** How about we get a cup of lemonade and French fries each?

**Erik:** …I have no idea what either of those things are, but they sound good! Let's go!

With that, we went off and bought three cups of lemonade and French fries for each couple to split amongst themselves. After vinegar-ing and salting down our fries, we all sat together at a picnic table underneath the nearby shelter.

**Erik **_***tries a French fry, eyes widen instantly***_**:** Oh…my…

**Christine & Raoul **_***stuffing their faces***_**:** Wow, these things are incredible!

**Gerry:** I gotta say, these fries kick some serious—

**Erik **_*** takes a sip of the lemonade, cuts him off***_**:** This honestly tastes like they dumped a cup of sugar into a cup of lemon juice and didn't bother to check and make sure it dissolved…but it's unbelievably amazing! I love it!

**Me & Mary Frances:** We told you you'd love it!

We continued chowing down our quite delicious, but very unhealthful, dinner, all the while chatting and laughing together.

**Me **_***once we finished***_**:** Now it's time for some dessert!

**Erik:** I can only imagine what you have in mind!

**Gerry:** What, with ev'ry ***BLEEP!*** dessert imaginable offered here!

**Me:** I was thinking I'd get three elephant ears!

Despite Mary Frances' excited response, they rest of them all stared at me in disgust.

**Me **_***not quite understanding their reaction***_**:** …What?

**Raoul **_***uneasily***_**:** …You eat the ears of elephants in this century?

**Me:** What? Oh! No! Of course not! It's fried dough with lots of toppings!

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, they call it that 'cause the dough itself is big and shaped like an elephant's ear.

**Erik & Christine & Raoul **_***now nodding in understanding***_**:** Ohhh, okay!

Therefore, Erik and I went to the fried dough stand to order our dessert while the others sat at the table and awaited our return.

I ordered three elephant ears and had them each covered in a thick layer of chocolate sauce and powdered sugar.

**Erik **_***fascinatingly watching the dough being made through the window***_**:** …That's a lot of powdered sugar…

He continued watching and fell silent, as if contemplating something, but I took no direct notice of the mischievous expression he bore…

Within a few minutes, we were handed our order and heading back to our table.

**Me **_***handing out the boxes***_**:** I present to you, ladies and gentlemen, the ultimate fairground dessert!

We all immediately dove into our elephant ears, indulging ourselves in the delicious goodness.

**Christine & Raoul:** _***sweetly feeding each other their elephant ear***_

**Mary Frances **_***sharing with Gerry, looks over at Erik***_**:** So what do you think, Erik?

We all glanced his way, interested to see what his opinion was on the fried dough.

**Erik **_***replies solemnly***_**:** …I regret to inform you all that pancakes have officially been replaced as number one on my junk food list…this is _phenomenal_!

We all laughed at his immediate revelation and continued to chow down on our dessert. It wasn't long before we were nearly finished and ready to move on to the next activity.

**Gerry **_***deposits our empty dinner containers into the trash can***_**:** Well, that dinner in itself probably just took 'bout two years off my lifespan…

**Mary Frances:** _***giggles at the truth in his statement***_

**Me:** Yeah, it was quite unhealthy…

**Erik:** But so frickin' worth it!

**Christine & Raoul **_***now helping each other cleanse their faces of leftover chocolate***_**:** So what's the plan for the rest of the night?

**Me **_***wiping my hands clean***_**:** I think after we finish up here, we'll digest a bit and go check out the animal barn across the way over there. _***points over my shoulder***_ By the time we're done in there, it'll be dark and they'll have lit up the rides, so we'll go buy some tickets and ride the rides for the rest of the night!

**Christine:** Sounds great, but I have an idea: how about after we ride some of the rides, each couple spends a little quality time together before we all meet back at the Ferris wheel so we can ride it together and then head home?

We all looked at one another, considering her romantic suggestion.

**Me **_***finally agrees***_**:** Alright, that sounds good!

Some alone time with each other almost sounded doctor recommended…

**Mary Frances **_***starts leading us across the way with Gerry at her side***_**:** Come on, let's go see the animals!

We head into the giant warehouse where all the animals were being kept. Our noses instantly filled with the sweet smell of hay. The continuous sounds of chickens clucking, roosters crowing, and cows mooing echoed all around us.

Everybody splits up and runs off to observe their animal of choice.

**Gerry **_***staring in awe at a giant mama pig in a cage with her piglets***_**:** That's a lotta bacon…

**Me **_***amusedly***_**:** See! Food! That's all y'all think about!

I then walked away to see where Mary Frances and Christine had run off to. I found them kneeling by the cage of baby chicks, playing with the little yellow birds.

**Baby Chicks:** _***peeping***_

**Mary Frances **_***gesturing me over to them***_**:** Lauren! Look at the baby chicks!

**Christine **_***gently stroking the feathers of the chick in her hands***_**:** Aren't they adorable?

**Me **_***picks one up***_**:** How cute!

**Christine:** And this one likes to be sung to! Watch!

She begins humming a soft tune and the little chick in the palm of her hands sat motionless while staring up at her in admiration.

**Me & Mary Frances:** Awwww!

Just then, Raoul comes running up to us.

**Raoul:** Hey Lauren! Can we feed the goats? Please, please, please!

**Me:** Oh, sure!

We gently put the chicks back in their cage before going to the little vending machine next to the goat pen. I put a few quarters into it and everyone received a handful of goat feed.

**Christine **_***feeding the first goat she sees***_**:** Haha, Raouly, it tickles!

**Raoul:** Really? Let me try! _***holds out handful of feed to the goat, which starts nibbling at it***_ Haha, yeah, it does kind of tickle—OW! IT BIT MY HAND!

**Christine **_***begins reprimanding the goat***_**:** No! Bad goat! No biting!

**Gerry **_***standing with Mary Frances, asks hesitantly***_**:** Ya sure it won't bite me? RaFop over there doesn't seem ta be havin' the best of luck…

**Mary Frances **_***raises an eyebrow***_**:** It's a goat…

**Gerry **_***smirks, says jokingly***_**:** Oh, really? I thought it was a dragon!

**Mary Frances:** _***dissolves into giggles***_

**Erik **_***feeding a llama, calls to Raoul***_**:** Beat this, fop…

**Raoul:** _***glares up from nursing his bitten hand, sticks his tongue out at Erik in retort***_

**Me **_***rolls eyes and leans against railing of the goat pen***_**:** Erik, you're such a showoff…

**Erik **_***smirks***_**:** What can I say? I'm just _way_ better than him when it comes to the simple task of feeding animals…

**Me **_***watching him affectionately petting the llama, which seems to have taken a liking to him***_**:** You do seem to have a way with them.

**Erik:** I love animals…I've always been good with them.

**Me:** I do, too. Actually, goats are my favorite farm animal…well, besides horses—OW! OH MY GOD!

I had suddenly felt something tugging on the ends of my super long hair (which had unknowingly fallen over the edge of the goat pen), only to turn around to find a stupid goat chewing on it! I immediately jumped out of the goat's reach and examined my hair. Meanwhile, the rest of the family and nearby witnesses were snickering at me upon seeing what had just occurred.

**Me **_***mutters heatedly***_**:** Stupid goat…

**Erik **_***trying not to burst into hysterics***_**:** Darling, your hair's so long, it probably looks like a buffet to him!

At this point, even I had started to laugh at the whole incident. The poor goat was only hungry and didn't know any better. Erik took notice of this and fed the remainder of his goat feed to the goat while petting his head.

**Erik **_***asks me jokingly***_**:** So what were you saying about goats being your favorite farm animal?

He didn't even give me a chance to answer when his eyes suddenly looked beyond me and widened in bewilderment.

**Erik:** What is _THAT_?

I turned around to see a giant, saddled bull looking over at us in a dull manner. It was standing out in the open in front of an old western backdrop with a camera on a stand in front of it.

**Me:** It's just a bull.

**Erik **_***falls silent while the cogs begin turning in his head***_**:** Hmm…

**Christine **_***approaches us, looking at the bull in astonishment***_**:** Wow, that thing is huge!

**Raoul **_***nervously standing behind Christine***_**:** And looks dangerous! It shouldn't just be standing there out in the open!

**Me:** It's a little photo shoot thing for kids. They can sit up there on its back and get their picture taken for 4 bucks… See, there's a little white pony with a fairytale backdrop for the little girls.

**Erik **_***mockingly***_**:** Aw, I'm sure RaFop would love to have his picture taken on the little pony!

**Raoul **_***defensively***_**:** Would not!

**Erik **_***raises his eyebrows***_**:** Oh yeah? Then I dare you to be a man and get up on that bull instead!

**Raoul:** _***hesitates***_

**Erik **_***tauntingly***_**:** What's wrong? You're not _man_ enough?

That did it: at Erik's cruel words, Raoul instantly straightened up, puffed out his chest, and bravely strode up to the bull, all in order to prove his manhood.

**Christine **_***calls worriedly***_**:** Raouly-Bear, please be careful!

It took him a minute, but he managed to climb up onto the back of bull.

**Raoul **_***looks around in disbelief before throwing his hands into the air in success***_**:** HA! In your face, Erik! I am _so_ a man!

**Erik **_***takes off his cape***_**:** Yeah? Give it a second! _***starts walking up to the front of the bull***_

**Mary Frances **_***suddenly frightened***_**:** Um, Erik, what are you doing?

**Erik **_***smirking evilly***_**:** Something completely worth it! _***starts waving his cape and calling to the bull***_ _Toro! Toro!_

Automatically, the bull became enraged and started to charge him, but Erik skillfully leapt out of the way! All the while, Raoul's still on the bull's back, holding on for dear life and screaming his head off!

**Gerry **_***shielding Mary Frances, shouts to Erik***_**:** What the ***BLEEP!*** man! Do ya have a death wish or somethin'?

**Erik **_***realizes this was a stupid idea***_**:** Yeah, I obviously didn't think this one through…

The rest of the people in the barn had all run screaming out of the barn, so it was only us left to deal with the situation on hand.

Abruptly, the bull came to terms that Raoul was still hanging onto him and this caused him to become even angrier! It halted in its tracks and began kicking around, trying to throw Raoul off!

**Raoul **_***screaming at the top of his lungs***_**:** AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH! HE-E-ELP!

**Christine **_***shrieks in terror***_**:** OH MY GOD! RAOUL!

**Me:** RAOUL! JUST JUMP! IT'LL BE ALRIGHT!

He hesitated before letting go and crashing to the concrete floor. Christine and I both ran to his side and hurriedly helped him to his feet.

Finally, some staff members decided to show up and instantly took control of the angry bull! While they were busy with the crazy animal, we took the first chance we got and made a run for it!

**Gerry **_***hastily shoving us toward the exit***_**:** GO! GO! GO! GO!

We didn't dare stop running until we reached a random food stand that we decided to plop down and hide behind, since we were all in desperate need to catch our breath. Just as I had predicted, night had finally fallen and the rides across the way were lit up and in motion.

After a few moments of silence and heavy panting, we all looked at one another before bursting into utter hysterical laughter!

**Erik:** That…was…AWESOME!

**Gerry **_***looks over at him in disbelief***_**:** _Are you…insane?_ We could have…been killed…fer God's sake!

**Christine:** I'm with the Scotsman on this one! That was very dangerous!

**Erik:** But it was so worth it! Did you see the look on the fop's face?

**Mary Frances:** And you with your cape was quite a sight!

**Christine **_***turns to her husband concernedly***_**:** Are you okay, Raouly? Did you hurt yourself when you tumbled off that thing?

**Raoul **_***looking unhappily at his hand***_**:** I scraped my hand when I fell!

**Me:** Oh, quit whining and be thankful it was just a little scratch and you didn't crack your head open! _***stands up, puts my hands on my hips, and glares down at Erik***_ Erik! You broke the deal! You promised no crazy stunts!

**Erik **_***shrinks & apologizes***_**:** I know, and I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it—

**Me **_***cuts him off***_**:** You know what, I don't even care! You know why? 'Cause, now that you've gone back on your word, I can go back on mine! _***grabs my pink and orange tops and rip them off***_

**Erik **_***eyes widen before hurriedly shielding them***_**:** WHOA! _***peeks and realizes I've been wearing a fancy, solid black shirt underneath***_ Oh…wait, how long have you been wearing that?

**Me:** All night! I just put the outfit you chose on over it; that way, in case you broke the deal, I'd have a way to retaliate! _***crosses arms & smirks with triumph***_

**Erik **_***frowns, now a little put out***_**:** Well then…

**Me **_***looks over at the others***_**:** So, who's up for rides?

**Everybody **_***excitedly get to their feet***_**:** YAY! Yeah! C'mon, let's go!

Once we found the ticket booths, we bought a set of tickets and headed into the amusement area.

**Mary Frances:** _***hops onto Gerry's back and wraps her arms around his neck***_

**Gerry:** Um, sweetheart, yer legs do not appear ta be broken.

**Mary Frances **_***replies playfully***_**:** I know, I'm just lazy and don't feel like walking anymore.

**Gerry **_***smirks & shakes his head***_**:** You better be thankful ye're cute…

Upon witnessing this, Erik (thinking whatever Gerry did he could do better) stopped and allowed me to climb onto his own back before taking the lead of the group.

**Me:** Well, thanks for the lift, dear, but I can walk.

**Erik **_***teasingly***_**:** Oh, quiet; you know you want me to carry you…

**Me:** _***rolls eyes, but smirks knowingly***_

**Christine **_***now riding on Raoul's back as well, looking around in awe***_**:** Wow…there's so many rides!

**Raoul **_***mumbles anxiously***_**:** All of which look both dangerous and intimidating…

**Me:** Remember, we only have so many tickets, so how about everybody gets to pick one ride each and we all go on it together?

**Everybody **_***agrees***_**:** Yeah, sounds good, let's go!

**Christine **_***reminds us cheerily***_**:** Except for when we all split up and spend quality time with our significant others!

**Me:** Yes, of course.

**Erik:** So what should we go on first?

**Christine **_***pipes up excitedly***_**:** The biggest, fastest, scariest one!

**Me:** Then I suggest we go on the Wipeout!

**Raoul:** _***does not like the sound of that, gulps in dread***_

**Erik:** And where is this particular ride located?

**Me:** It's always at the very back edge of the fairgrounds…

**Erik:** Then I declare a race between the men…with the girls riding on their backs!

**Gerry:** Oh ye're on!

**Mary Frances:** Y'all are going down!

**Raoul & Christine:** Not if we can help it!

The guys line up and get situated.

**Erik:** You girls hang on tight, this could get rough!

At his words of warning, each of us took a moment to prepare ourselves for whatever was to come.

**Erik:** Now, on three! One…two…three!

They all took off running at the same swift pace while us girls tightly gripped them from behind.

As to be expected, Raoul and Christine immediately fell behind and Gerry and Mary Frances were beginning to pull ahead, but Erik and I wouldn't have it!

By the time we nearly reached the Wipeout ride, we were head on with them, but who won would always remain unknown…seeing as Erik's feet apparently decided to give out right before we reached the attraction, causing us to tumble to the ground and landing in an awkward heap on the ground!

**Erik **_***concernedly***_**:** Lauren! I'm sorry, are you okay?

**Me **_***laughing***_**:** Yes, I'm fine! Oh my gosh, that was great!

I was laughing so hard, I didn't even notice the other fairgoers who had witnessed our stumble snickering and giving us funny looks.

**Gerry **_***lets Mary Frances down before laughing and asking us in mock bewilderment***_**:** _What kind of a finish was'at?_

**Erik **_***also laughing while helping me to my feet***_**:** Obviously as good as it was gonna get!

**Me **_***starts dusting myself off***_**:** And we so beat y'all…by like half a second!

**Mary Frances:** Nuh uh! If anything, it was a tie!

**Me **_***thinking back to earlier when he had recorded Mary Frances and I as we finished our school work***_**:** Gosh, where's the fop when you need him?

**Erik **_***looks off into the distance***_**:** They're coming, I see them.

Sure enough, we could see the figures of Raoul and Christine, walking side by side in our direction.

**Gerry **_***calls to them***_**:** What happened? Ya gave up an' didn't even try ta finish properly?

**Raoul **_***shrugs***_**:** We didn't want to end up like Lauren and Erik over there.

**Gerry:** Can't argue with that…it was pretty pathetic!

**Raoul **_***decides to get cocky***_**:** But regardless of the circumstances, it was bound to happen…I mean, they can't spend twenty minutes together without one somehow ending up on top of the other!

**Me **_***blushes & shoves him in the arm***_**:** Oh, shut up!

**Christine **_***ushering us toward the entrance to the Wipeout***_**:** Come on! What are we standing around for? Let's get "Wiping out"!

We handed the admittance dude our tickets and went in to find an empty compartment to sit in together. Unfortunately, there were only four seats in one compartment (two on either side), so me and Erik sat together on one side with Gerry and Mary Frances across from us in one compartment and Christine and Raoul sat directly behind us in another compartment.

**Me:** Make sure you're buckled in and the safety bar is secure in front of you.

**Gerry **_***teases***_**:** Yes, mum.

**Raoul **_***looks over his shoulder at me, asks nervously***_**:** So, um, what does this thing _do_?

**Me:** It spins in a circle really fast and then goes up and tilts to the side and it'll change direction at some point. It's awesome!

**Christine **_***whoops excitedly***_**:** This is gonna be awesome!

**Raoul**_***whimpers***_**:** _I'm gonna die…_

**Mary Frances:** Erik, you need to take off your mask.

**Erik **_***eyes widen in horror***_**:** WHAT?

**Mary Frances:** Do you want it to come flying off and have it possibly break or get lost?

**Erik:** No!

**Me:** Then just take it off! Hon, we've been over this a hundred times! Everybody's going to be way to busy screaming to notice you!

**Erik:** Alright, fine! _***grudgingly takes it off and hands it to me***_

And just in the nick of time: no sooner had I gently wrapped the porcelain mask in my coat and placed it snugly next to me had the ride started up and began to spin at a moderate rate.

**Raoul:** …This isn't so bad.

**Christine **_***disappointingly***_**:** …_This_ is boring!

The words were barely out of her mouth when the ride suddenly accelerated to its top speed and began to rise into the air!

**Christine **_***throws her hands up into the air***_**:** WHOOO! Now _that's_ what I'm talking about!

**Raoul:** _***whimpering pathetically***_

**Me **_***as the ride starts to tilt on its side***_**:** Here we go!

It reached its climax, in both height and speed, the force of the two put together causing me and Mary Frances to be squished by our partners and our feet to dangle out of the opening of the compartment.

**Raoul **_***now screaming his head off***_**:** AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!

**Christine:** WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Me **_***being crushed by Erik***_**:** Ow! Erik, you're heavy!

**Erik **_***retorts***_**:** Well, excuse me! It's not my fault if my body weight is unintentionally interfering with your own comfort!

**Gerry **_***crushing Mary Frances***_**:** It probably would have been smarter if you girls had been on the inside.

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, _now_ you tell us!

Seemingly all too soon, the ride slowed to a stop while still tilted on its side.

**Christine:** Awww!

**Raoul **_***sighs in relief***_**:** Oh thank God! It's over!

**Me:** Nope, it's just changing direction!

**Christine:** OH YAY!

**Raoul:** …I think I'm gonna be sick!

True to my words, the ride spun in the opposite direction for a while before slowing to a stop and returning to its original horizontal angle and height.

**Everybody (except Raoul) **_***as we stumble off of the ride***_**:** That was AWESOME!

**Mary Frances:** Let's do it again!

**Gerry:** As thrillin' as it was, I think once was quite enough, sweetheart.

**Me:** Yeah, I don't think I've ever been dizzier in my entire life! _***climbs onto Erik's back and wraps my arms around his neck***_

**Erik **_***slips his arms underneath my legs before stating playfully***_**:** Oh sure, _now_ you want me to give you ride!

**Christine:** Whoa, Raouly, are you okay?

**Raoul:**_***hurling into a nearby trashcan***_

**Everybody **_***grossed out***_**:** Oh ewwww…

**Raoul **_***straightens up after a moment***_**:** Well, there went my dinner, but I'm good now…

We head on in search for the next ride we want to attempt.

**Me:** I guess we should stay on the ground for the next attraction and let Raoul's stomach settle. Who wants to pick next?

**Erik:** What's that? _***gestures to the glass house***_

**Mary Frances:** The glass house. You go in and have to find your way out of the maze of glass and mirrors.

**Erik:** Sounds easy enough, let's go!

We gave the admittance dude our tickets and went into the glass house. It wasn't too long before we got separated into groups of two.

**Me **_***following Gerry***_**:** Oh great, it's like the Tourville Gauntlet all over again!

**Gerry:** Except without the freaks jumpin' out at us!

**Me **_***stops in shock upon walking in front of a trick mirror***_**:** Whoa, my head looks like a balloon!

**Gerry **_***awkwardly looking in another mirror***_**:** …Does this mirror make my ***BLEEP*** look big?

Meanwhile…

**Raoul **_***runs straight into a glass wall***_**:** ***BONK***

**Christine **_***giggling at her reflection in one of the trick mirrors***_**:** Haha, look, Raouly! I look fat!

**Raoul **_***jumps at the sight of his own reflection***_**:** AGH! This is almost scarier than the Tourville Gauntlet!

Meanwhile…

**Erik **_***lost with Mary Frances***_**:** OK, how are we ever supposed to get out of this?

**Mary Frances:** It's easy, just look for greasy forehead stains!

**Christine **_***overhears her, exclaims from off in the distance***_**:** Ew!

**Erik:** Seriously, do they ever wipe these things down?

Outside, the admittance dude was watching us and laughing at our confusion. Erik did not necessarily appreciate this…

**Erik **_***finally looses it***_**:** Oh screw it! We're doing this my way! _***pulls a candlestick out of nowhere and smashes his way through the mirror***_

It wasn't long before he and Mary Frances met up with me and Gerry.

**Me **_***screams as the glass wall smashes next to me***_**:** AGH! _***realizes it's only Erik and Mary Frances***_ What the—ERIK! _What are you thinking?_

**Erik:** I'm thinking I want out of this blasted maze!

**Gerry **_***matter-of-factly***_**:** Actually, I think we're _all_ thinkin' that very same thing…

**Erik **_***snaps back***_**:** Don't get smart with me! I'm just trying to take the easy way out!

**Christine & Raoul **_***approach us through the hole Erik just made***_**:** Did someone say "easy way out"?

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, Erik did.

**Me **_***irritably***_**:** And by "easy way", he means smashing through the walls with his candlestick until he finds the exit!

**Raoul:** Oh, I thought the area back there seemed a little bare…and the floor did sound crunchier than before.

**Christine:** Where did he even get a candlestick?

**Erik:** Alright, enough chitchat! Let's blow this dump already and go find something else to do!

**Gerry:** Well, lead the way! Ye're the one with the candlestick!

Before I could protest, Erik continued smashing through the walls until we came to the exit.

**Admittance Dude **_***tries to stop us***_**:** HEY! You know you're going to have to replace those!

**Erik**_** *now smirking***_**:** Uh huh, who's laughing now?

With that, we took off before we could get into any more trouble than we already were!

**Erik **_***once we all stopped for breath***_**:** Well, that was fun while it lasted!

**Everybody:** _***agrees***_

**Me **_***still cross***_**:** Erik! I can't believe you broke the deal…again!

**Erik **_***sighs, says solemnly***_**:** Yes, I know… Go ahead; take off whatever you want next then.

**Me **_***gets down to take off my shoes***_**:** Gladly!

**Erik:** _Crap!_ Reverse psychology sucks!

I quickly replaced the stupid yellow ballet flats with my black boots.

**Mary Frances:** So what should we do now?

**Raoul:** Those look neat! _***gestures to the bumper car arena***_

**Me:** Bumper cars? Sure, why not?

So, we end up splitting up into pairs, ready to kick some serious tail!

**Erik **_***sharing a cart with me, buckling his seat belt***_**:** Fop! You're going down!

**Raoul **_***sharing a cart with Christine***_**:** _***glares over at us***_

**Erik **_***smirks and turns to Gerry***_**:** And you too, Scotsman!

**Gerry **_***sharing with Mary Frances***_**:** What? Even while yer _best friend's_ in the same cart?

**Mary Frances:** Don't worry about it, Gerry…'cause we're totally going to kick their butts before they can even deliver a single hit to ours!

**Me **_***feigns offense***_**:** Oh no you di'n't, sista!

**Mary Frances **_***plays along***_**:** Oh yes, I did!

**Erik:** Lauren, buckle your seatbelt, baby; this is gonna be intense!

The moment the cars were allowed to move around, Erik floored it and sped toward Raoul and Christine, who were still trying to get a hang of operating the cart. The pair of them barely had a chance to scream before we totaled them in the side!

**Me & Erik:** HAHA!

Suddenly, we were hit from the behind by none other than Gerry and Mary Frances!

**Gerry & Mary Frances **_***yell triumphantly***_**:** HA!

**Erik & Me:** Grrr!

While we were busy chasing after them, Raoul and Christine finally figured out how to get the cart to move and were coming after us.

**Me:** Oh snap, Erik, they're on our tail!

**Erik:** I see 'em! Hang on to something…other than me! _***makes a very sharp left turn***_

**Christine & Raoul:** AAGH—_***don't turn in time and crash into the wall***_

Due to our sudden direction change, we nearly rammed into Gerry and Mary Frances again!

**Me:** WHOA!

**Erik **_***automatically veers to the right***_**:** Oh no you don't!

We changed direction again so that we were now chasing them instead!

**Erik **_***calls threateningly***_**:** You can run but you can't hide!

**Gerry:** _***humorously flips Erik off***_

Unfortunately, we never got a chance to catch and corner them, seeing as the ride came to an end and we were forced to leave.

**Erik:** Alright, I admit, that was the most fun I've had all night!

**Mary Frances & Gerry:** We told you we'd nail y'all!

**Me:** Yeah, but we totally slammed Raoul and Christine!

**Raoul & Christine:** I think we had a dysfunctional cart!

**Erik:** Either that, or you just couldn't decipher which was the brake and the gas pedal!

**Christine:** Well, I think it's about time we split up for a bit and spend a little quality time with our _***joins hands with Raoul***_ significant others…

**Me **_***smirks***_**:** Alright, fine. Remember, everybody meet back at the Ferris wheel. Have fun and _behave_!

With that, each couple went their separate ways.

**Gerry **_***walking with Mary Frances***_**:** I guess we'll just walk around here 'til we find somethin' that catches our eye.

**Mary Frances:** _***not listening, looking up at a cute stuffed owl that's hanging among a ton of other prizes on display above a sidestall game***_

**Gerry **_***thinking to himself***_**:** _Well, that was easier done than said… __***steps toward the counter***_

**Mary Frances **_***confusedly***_**:** What are you doing?

He did not reply, but went on and paid the barker for a single round of chance. She watched as he was handed three baseballs and the barker stood back to allow him to aim for the stacked pins in front of them. All the while flaunting his famous smirk, Gerry took aim and confidently pitched the ball at the stack, which came tumbling down to the ground!

**Barker:** Oh! We have a winner! Congratulations, sir! Go ahead and pick from any of the prizes you like up there!

He instantly got the owl down and turned to Mary Frances.

**Gerry **_***hands her the stuffed animal***_**:** Fer you, sweetheart.

**Mary Frances **_***takes it and looks up at him in admiration***_**:** Thanks…

They both share a smile before joining hands and walking away together.

Meanwhile, wandering around elsewhere…

**Erik **_***carrying me around on his back again, decides to make conversation***_**:** So, are you having fun?

**Me:** Oh yes, I'm having a grand time…despite the fact that you've broken the deal twice and made me dress up like a walking rainbow.

**Erik:** Yes, but you make a very beautiful walking rainbow.

**Me **_***can't help but smile at his compliment***_**:** Well, thank you for saying so.

**Erik:** You're quite welcome. Now, what do you want to do? As much fun as this is, I think it might be more entertaining if we pick an actual ride to thrill ourselves with instead.

**Me **_***notices the beautiful illuminated carousel***_**:** Well, there's the carousel, why don't we try that? _***adds alluringly***_ We could share a horse…

**Erik **_***likes the sound of that***_**:** …Let's go!

We head over and step up onto the carousel. He let me lead the way and pick the horse, so, of course, I chose a beautiful black horse for us to share.

**Erik **_***teases me about my choice while helping me up onto the back of the horse***_**:** Of course…

**Me **_***sticks tongue out at him in retort***_**:** Oh come on! I've always thought black horses were the prettiest!

**Erik **_***mounts the horse and sits behind me***_**:** Yes, well, according to you, everything's apparently more beautiful in black.

The ride then started up and the horses began bobbing up and down as the carousel spun around. I leaned back against him, enjoying the sensation of his arms wrapped around me as we rode along. We sat in silence for a while, just savoring our time together.

**Country Song Being Played Over The Sound System:** _We were sittin' up there on your momma's roof  
Talkin' 'bout everything under the moon  
With the smell of honeysuckle and your perfume  
All I could think about was my next move…_

**Me **_***recognizes the song***_**:** Oh, I love this song!

**Erik **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Again with the country…

It was 'Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not' by Thompson Square. My eyes then widened once I realized how much the song pertained to our current "alone time"…and a devious smile crossed my face before I started singing along.

**Me:** _Oh, but you were so shy, so was I  
Maybe that's why it was so hard to believe  
When you smiled and said to me __***turns to face Erik***__  
"Are you gonna kiss me or not?  
Are we gonna do this or what?  
I think you know I like you a lot  
But you're 'bout to miss your shot  
Are you gonna kiss me or not?"_

**Erik **_***smirking down at me***_**:** I thought you'd never ask…

I barely even had the chance to giggle before he kissed me and I instantly fell under his trance. In that moment, everything else faded away and all I could think about was him and I. I wasn't even aware of how much time had passed, until—

**Rude Passerby Dude **_***shouts at us***_**:** Yo! Weirdo lovebirds! The ride's over! Why don't you scram and go get a room?

The moment now ruined, Erik and I immediately broke apart and embarrassedly dismounted the horse before taking off for the Ferris wheel where the others were waiting for us. I noticed Mary Frances was hugging a cute stuffed owl to her chest and Christine had a teddy bear in her arms.

**Christine **_***observes my empty arms***_**:** Aww, Erik didn't try to win anything for you?

**Me:** No, we were a little busy on the carousel… _***smirks up at Erik***_

**Erik:** _***smirks back***_

**Christine **_***practically dragging Raoul towards the entrance of the Ferris wheel***_**:** Well, come on! Let's go ride this thing!

**Mary Frances **_***notices Erik isn't following***_**:** Aren't you coming, Erik?

**Erik:** Actually, Mary Frances, why don't you walk with me? We'll catch up with you guys!

The pair hurriedly walks off together.

**Me:** Alright then. _***looks over at Gerry expectantly***_ Gerry, you want to join me then?

**Gerry **_***smiles***_**:** Sure, darlin'.

He and I, along with Raoul and Christine, walk toward the Ferris wheel while Erik and Mary Frances head off in the opposite direction.

Of course, Raoul and Christine share a compartment together and Gerry and I share one, as well.

**Raoul **_***as the Ferris wheel begins to spin at a moderate speed***_**:** This isn't so bad; at least it isn't going a hundred miles an hour… And look at the view!

**Christine **_***gripping her teddy bear, her teeth chattering***_**:** Y-yeah, you c-c-can see the wh-whole place fr-from up h-here!

**Raoul **_***looks over at her concernedly***_**:** Christine, are you okay?

**Christine:** Y-yeah…J-just c-cold…

**Raoul **_***takes off his jacket and wraps it around her shoulders before pulling her into a close embrace***_**:** Here… Is that better?

**Christine **_***smiles, snuggles closer to him***_**:** Much…thank you, my Raouly-Bear…

**Raoul **_***returns her smile before cupping her cheek with his hand***_**:** Anytime, my dear… _***tips her chin up and kisses her***_

Meanwhile…

**Me **_***screaming in terror***_**:** GERRY! STOP! QUIT IT!

**Gerry**_***rocking the compartment to make it swing***_**:** Sorry! I couldn't resist…ya just freak out so easily!

**Me:** Honestly! You're worse than Erik—_***screams as he rocks it again***_ WOULD YOU STOP FOR GOD'S SAKE! WE'RE GONNA DIE!—Wait a minute…I just had a disturbing thought…what exactly are Erik and Mary Frances doing?

**Gerry **_***shrugs***_**:** I guess we'll found out…

**Me:** _***eyes widen in dread***_

* * *

_We now bring you Mary Frances' Point of View!_

**Me **_***while walking with Erik***_**:** So what exactly did you want to do?

**Erik **_***smirks***_**:** Well, Lauren's clothes didn't stay in the 80s, so I shall get…"sweet"…revenge.

**Me:** Do you even know what the 80s were like?

**Erik:** I know it was filled with horrible music and color-blind people.

**Me **_***rolls eyes before asking another question***_**:** And what do you mean by "sweet"?

I followed Erik's eyes to the…elephant ear cart.

**Me **_***realizes his intentions***_**:** Erik…the powdered sugar…that will get everywhere! _***begins to smirk***_

**Erik:** Ha! I see the deviousness!

**Me**_***tries to hide her smirk***_**:** No! We can't…well…no!

**Erik:** You know you want to…

**Me:** Er…

**Erik:** And it won't be THAT big. Only enough to see it from the Ferris wheel!

**Me **_***grinning like an idiot now***_**:** Let's go!

Ten minutes and eleven seconds later…we created a firework-powered powdered sugar cannon!

**Erik:** You didn't put enough powdered sugar in it!

**Me:** Erik, you'll be able to see it from Canada…uh, do you smell smoke?

We looked down to realize the fireworks just magically set themselves off!

**Erik:** RUN!

We made a run for it and did an epic slow-motion-worthy jump as the fireworks exploded out of the shack behind us and an enormous cloud of powdered sugar polluted the air above!

**Ester **_***sitting next to Carl, who's snoozing, in the old people music tent***_**:** Carl, Carl! Wake up! Someone's made a cocaine bomb!

**Carl:** Twenty bucks it's that freak show next door. _***goes back to snoozing***_

**Lauren **_***in a booming voice***_**:** ERIK! MARY FRANCES!

**All the Old People:** _***get out their wallets***_

The powdered sugar then began to fall from the sky, covering everything in white.

**Me **_***now covered in powder sugar***_**:** Oh my God…we're gonna die…Lauren's gonna kill us and we're gonna die…

**Erik **_***also covered in sugar***_**:** No, she won't be able to find us, there are way too many people here for her—

**Lauren **_***comes out of nowhere with the rest of the family in tow***_**:** Car. NOW.

* * *

_And now we return to Lauren's point of view before the *BLEEP!* Machine overheats and dies…_

Once again, I shall leave my furious rant out and just skip to our arrival at home.

By this time, I've gotten over the predictable mishap and we all go our separate ways to shower all the powdered sugar off of ourselves and change into clean clothes. Afterwards, everyone gathers downstairs to wind down and settle in for the night.

Mary Frances, Gerry, Christine, and Raoul are all in the den, watching some TV. I'm still in my room, cleaning up and getting ready for bed. Erik is sitting in the kitchen, minding his own business (for once…), and apparently waiting for me to emerge from my room.

**Mary Frances **_***lying down on the sofa***_**:** _***places her feet in Gerry's lap, expecting a massage***_

**Gerry **_***in mock exasperation***_**:** Oh c'mon! I carried ya 'round the entire night! If anythin', _you_ should be massagin' _my_ feet…an' my back!

**Mary Frances:** _***gives him the irresistible puppy dog eyes***_

**Gerry **_***sighs in defeat, shakes head, and smiles***_**:** I swear, you are too much… _***starts massaging her feet***_

**Mary Frances:** _***smirking in satisfaction***_

I then enter the kitchen, clad in my black, off-the-shoulder Avril Lavigne shirt, fuzzy pajama pants, and my hair is pulled up into a messy pony tail.

**Erik **_***glances up and observes my outfit***_**:** Back in the black, I see.

**Me:** _***sticks tongue out at him before putting a kettle on the stove for hot tea***_

**Erik:** I'm guessing I failed in instilling any desire in you to wear brighter colors?

**Me **_***turns around to face him, retorts***_**:** I don't know, did I instill any desire in you to quit wreaking havoc wherever you go?

**Erik:** Touché…

**Me **_***notices that he's messing with my laptop***_**:** Um, what are you doing?

**Erik:** Trying to hack into your laptop, what's it look like?

**Me:** Why would you want to do that?

**Erik **_***shrugs***_**:** Because I can.

**Me:** Well, you can try all night, but you'll never guess the passwo—

**My Laptop:** _***suddenly bling!s and powers up***_

**Erik:** _***grins at me in a prideful manner***_

**Me **_***glares back at him crossly, asks exasperatingly***_**:** _How did you guess it?_

**Erik **_***confusedly staring at the screen***_**:** Uh, what is this?

**Me **_***eyes widen upon realizing what he's now looking at, rushes towards him***_**:** Oh no, no, no! Erik, stop! Please don't look at that! That's supposed to be a surprise!

**Erik **_***holding me back and out of the computer's reach***_**:** Lauren, why were you looking at a _rentable_ _beach house_?

**Me **_***tries to quiet him***_**:** Shhh!

**Mary Frances **_***comes in with the others in tow***_**:** Hey, what's going on?

**Me **_***snaps back***_**:** Nothing! Erik, just close it!

**Erik:** I found this pulled up on her laptop! _***shows them the screen***_

**Mary Frances:** A beach house?

**Gerry:** An' a nice, big one at that!

**Christine:** Oooh! Are we moving?

**Me **_***replies dolefully***_**:** No, we're not moving…

**Raoul:** Then why were you looking at this house?

**Me **_***sighs in defeat***_**:** Well, I guess the secret's out… _***smiles before taking in a breath and making the big announcement***_ That is the beach house that I've rented for our next Phangirl get-together!

**Everyone **_***eyes widen, exclaim in surprise***_**:** _WHAT? Holy crap! Are you serious?_

**Me **_***now smiling, satisfied by their reactions***_**:** Yep! We're going to the beach together for an entire weekend to celebrate New Year's!

**Erik:** And all the Phangirls are invited, too?

**Gerry:** An' we're all stayin' under one roof together?

**Me:** Why else would I have rented the biggest house available that's right on the ocean?

**Mary Frances **_***clapping her hands in glee***_**:** Oh my gosh, this is going to be so much fun!

**Raoul **_***less than thrilled***_**:** An entire weekend…_with the Phangirls?_

**Erik:** Oh, lighten up, fop! It's the beach!

**Christine **_***takes Raoul's arm, coos***_**:** Oh Raouly-Bear, don't you remember the day we met? When you ran into the sea to fetch my scarf for me? If it weren't for the beach, we wouldn't have ever met!

**Gerry:** I've always loved the beach…an' it'll be grand ta join you all at another one of yer crazy parties!

**Me:** Yeah, I've really missed the ocean and I haven't been to a beach in years, so I'm really excited!

**Erik:** Yeah, and I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm looking forward to an entire weekend of relaxation and late night festivities!

**Mary Frances **_***cocks an eyebrow***_**:** Late night festivities meaning "getting completely wasted and partying all night long?"

**Erik:** Precisely!

**Gerry:** An' I agree with him wholeheartedly!

**Mary Frances:** Of course you do…

**Gerry:** I mean, come on, what's a weekend at the beach for in the eyes of us men? Especially in order ta celebrate New Year's?

**Me:** …He has a point…

**Mary Frances:** Well, what are we waiting for? This weekend get-together isn't going to plan itself!

* * *

_SURPRISE! Yes, you heard correct: we're inviting all you lovely Phangirls to come and stay at the beach with us for an entire weekend in celebration of the New Year! That equals an entire weekend of nothing but awesome hysterics on the beach! _:D_ We can't promise the chapters will be posted on the actual weekend of New Year's, but we'll try our best… _:)

_And you can even check out the beach house at this link: _**www (dot) kapplyons (dot) com (slash) book (slash) imgview (dot) html?PMSID=SURFSIDE&Name=Surfside**

_Check out the view! This is actually where me and my entire family (including all my aunts, uncles, cousins, and my grandparents) would go and stay in this very house for a weeklong vacation every year. _:)_ We can't go any more because we've outgrown the house… But now, I want to share it with you guys and invite you all to join us for a weekend of hysterics!_

_**NO EXTRA GUESTS unless you get our permission to bring them.**__ (It's getting harder and harder to incorporate everyone's guests, so we're only allowing a minimum number of extras.)_

_**Please take your time and answer all of the required questions listed below, but read the summary below first.**_

**Here is a summary of what were going to do with each chapter (it can help you come up with ideas you want us to include):** We're staying Friday (December 30th)—Monday (January 2nd). The forecast is absolutely beautiful and promises nothing but sunshine and warm weather! ;) Anyway, Friday's chapter will consist of all of us travelling together to the island by the Phangirl bus of awesomeness. Once we get to the beach, we'll unpack and get settled in, have an early dinner, and then play around for a bit on the beach before the sun sets. After the sun sets, we'll all turn in early after a long day of travelling and such (unless you guys have a different idea!)

Saturday's chapter (December 31st) will start with us all getting up and eating breakfast together before getting ready and dressed in our bathing suits! We all spend the day on the beach together; tanning, swimming, boogie boarding, surfing, volleyball, and shell and shark tooth hunting galore! :D After dinner and the sun sets, that's when the party starts… We'll all chill out and mess around on the screened porch (with no doubt a wasted Erik and Gerry to keep up entertained) and countdown 'til midnight! After midnight, it gets even crazier when we decide to go ghost crab hunting! If you've never gone ghost crab hunting, all you do is walk in a group up and down the beach with flashlights and when you spot a crab, the elected crab catchers run ahead, catch the crab, and throw it into the bucket. (Don't worry, we let 'em go once we've had our fun.) After that, we make it back to the beach house and finally collapse in exhaustion.

Finally, Sunday's chapter (January 1st) starts out with everybody hung-over and slow going from such a crazy night. We take it easy on the beach and end the get-together with a nice bonfire, over which we roast hotdogs and marshmallows to make smores!

_And there you have it! _:D_ Now that you've read the summary, please REVIEW or PM me and answer the following questions:_

_Do you have any crazy ideas, scenes, and dialogue you would like us to include? Do you have any meal/drink ideas (we gotta eat, y'know!)? What else do you want to bring (besides sunscreen and your swimsuit)?_

_We can't wait to see all of your ideas! Thanks for reading and reviewing! We love you all!_


	26. The Nutcracker Disaster

_The Nutcracker Disaster_

One particular Saturday afternoon a few weeks later, Mary Frances and I were in my bathroom. She is sitting in front of the mirror while I'm standing behind her, in the very first stage of doing her hair for the opening night of her Nutcracker ballet that she is to perform in a few measly hours, all the while with music playing from my iPod dock in the background.

**Mary Frances **_***handing me each curler as I roll them into her hair***_**:** It still hasn't hit me that I'm actually playing Clara this year! I just can't believe it!

**Me:** I know, and you are going to be wonderful, as always! Just try not to let Eddy distract you too much during the party scene…

Eddy is our Nutcracker this year and he is quite the character.

**Mary Frances:** I have to keep my eyes on him during the party scene 'cause I never know what he's going to do! And, oh my gosh, last night, when we did the bridge, he was pushing all of his weight against my hands, so I bent my elbows back and he almost fell!

**Me **_***smirks and shakes head***_**:** You're hilarious… But seriously, please stay focused, it's opening night, mind you!

**Mary Frances:** Hey, it's not my fault he's such a big flirt!

**Me:** _***cocks an eyebrow***_

**Mary Frances:** Wait, I don't flirt back!

**Me:** _***raises eyebrow even higher***_

**Mary Frances **_***surrenders***_**:** OK, maybe just a little… But nothing serious, I can't do that, that'd be _wrong_!

**Me **_***rolls eyes at what she is implying before changing the subject***_**:** But it's a little disturbing when he's _26_ and you're only 15!

**Mary Frances:** And you have no room to talk, Miss Almost-17-Year-Old Who Is Actually In A Relationship With A 30 Year Old Man-Child!

**Me **_***blushes and laughs***_**:** OK, touché!

**Mary Frances:** Wait, older than thirty—

**Me **_***cuts her short***_**:** Shut up.

**Mary Frances **_***innocent grin before changing the subject***_**:** Anyway…I noticed you and Matt have been chatting it up backstage this past week…

Matt is our cute, but quiet, 18 year old Snow Cavalier and he had indeed been hanging around with me in the wings during the rehearsals over the past week.

**Me **_***replies nonchalantly***_**:** Oh, well, yeah, I mean, he's nice, and he only has but the one Snowflake scene, so he just hangs out with me backstage.

**Mary Frances **_***smirks, raises an eyebrow***_**:** I see…and you do know he's interested in you, right?

**Me:** Well yes, but he doesn't know I'm in a relationship…I mean, how am I even supposed to explain that? "Oh yeah, by the way, I'm not available; I'm actually dating a man in his thirties!" It might not sound crazy to you or me, but to anyone else, it would sound completely wrong!

**Mary Frances:** Hun, it still does sound completely wrong. But it'd be better to explain it to him than to lead him on.

**Me:** I guess you're right, but it's not like he's asked me or anything, so… _***changes the subject while rolling yet another curler into her hair***_ Girl, I swear, you got a lot of hair! I'll be lucky if I get this done in time before we have to leave!

**Mary Frances:** Don't change the subj—

Just then, Erik comes waltzing into the bathroom.

**Erik:** Hey, I just wanted to remind you two—_***sees Mary Frances' hair, stops short***_ Whooaaa…

**Mary Frances **_***the entire top of her head covered in little 1 inch curlers, warns him***_**:** Don't say a word…

**Erik **_***holds up gloved hands in defense***_**:** I wasn't going to say anything! _***fighting back a snicker***_ But, um…is all _that_ really necessary?

**Me **_***snaps like the pageant mama***_**:** Yes! It's opening night for _Nutcracker_ and in case you've forgotten, Mary Frances here is playing _Clara_! And by the time I'm finished with her, her hair is going to be curlier than Christine's!

**Mary Frances:** And that's saying something…

**Me **_***to Erik***_**:** Now make it quick, what is it you wanted to remind us?

**Erik:** Oh yes, well, I just wanted to remind you that we should be leaving within the next hour if we want to get there on time.

**Me **_***raises an eyebrow, unconvinced***_**:** …That's it? That's _all_ you wanted to say?

**Erik **_***pauses before nodding***_**:** …Yep!

**Me:** OK, then, go on! Shoo! Your presence is not necessary in here! _***shoos him out the door***_

As the bathroom door closed behind him, Erik sauntered across my bedroom and out into the hall.

**Gerry **_***standing there, awaiting his return***_**:** So, how'd it go?

**Erik:** They practically shoved me out the door! Seriously, is it just me or do they just no longer have any time for us anymore? It seems like they've been gone all week long!

**Gerry:** Well, yeah, they've been at the theatre, rehearsin' the show.

**Erik:** They haven't even been home long enough this past week to make us proper food!

**Gerry:** I know, we've been living offa sandwiches all week…

**Erik:** And they hardly pay any attention to us even when they're around! Normally, Lauren wants to spend as much time as she can with me! I just don't get it! _***stops and seems to contemplate something* **_…You do realize they've been hanging all over men who are wearing nothing but tights, don't you?

**Gerry:** Well, that's ta be expected… Men in tights're enjoyed by females an' male creepers everywhere.

**Erik **_***gives Gerry a weirded-out look before continuing***_**:** And you're okay with that?

**Gerry **_***concernedly***_**:** Are ya always this controllin'?

**Erik:** You would be, too, if you were in my shoes!

**Gerry:** Perhaps, but I wouldn't worry too much 'bout it. The lasses are smart enough ta know we're their guys an' I don't think they'd go so far ta find new ones behind our backs.

**Erik **_***visibly relaxes***_**:** Yeah, you're probably right. _***looks over at Gerry in sudden realization***_ …Since when are you Mary Frances' guy?

**Gerry:** _***smirks, but does not reply***_

**Erik:** …You know, that's creepy on so many levels…but I like you, man, and I know you'll be good to her, so you have my approval!

**Gerry **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Thanks, not that I need it or anythin'…

**Erik:** Oh trust me, you need it…

Silence falls on the pair before—

**Gerry:** …I'm hungry.

**Erik:** Me, too.

**Gerry **_***starts toward the kitchen***_**:** Let's go make a sandwich or something.

**Erik **_***follows him***_**:** Yeah, like we've been doing for the past week _in order to survive_!

* * *

Within the next hour, Mary Frances and I finally emerge from the bathroom. Every lock of Mary Frances' hair is tightly rolled up in about 200 little 1 inch curlers! The rest of the family is waiting for us in the kitchen.

**Me **_***places Mary Frances' plastic bin of her dancing necessities on the counter to double check it real quick***_**:** Alright, we're about ready to go!

**Erik:** Well, finally!

**Me **_***ignores him, looking over at Christine in shock***_**:** Christine, what on Earth are you wearing?

She was dressed up in a very fancy gown (don't ask where she got it from) and her hair was nicely styled (more than likely Raoul's own doings).

**Christine **_***smoothes the front of her dress***_**:** Well, we're going to a ballet performance, aren't we? When I was performing back at the opera house in our century, all of the audience members wore all these fancy dresses and suits, so I thought, since I'm going to be out in the audience instead of up on stage, I'd do the same! _***smiles***_

**Me:** Um, well, actually hun, no one really dresses up for a performance these days…

**Raoul **_***exclaims to Christine***_**:** Ha! Told you! Pay up!

**Christine:** Fine… _***grudgingly opens her matching purse, takes out some money, and hands it over***_

**Erik **_***mumbles to Gerry***_**:** The first time the fop's ever won something in his life…

**Gerry **_***mumbles back***_**:** Or ever will…

**Me **_***continues to Christine***_**:** Why don't you change into something a little more…not that?

**Christine **_***sighs in disappointment as she stands up***_**:** Okay. But I want to wear something nice soon!

**Me **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Alright, we will…maybe. Just go change!

After she got squared away, we then all head down to the garage, pile in the van, and head off for the theatre. Once we arrive, we all unload from the car and walk inside. We say a quick hello to everyone before going to our designated changing area and I immediately get started on finishing Mary Frances' hair.

Approximately 2 seconds after we get everything settled:

**Erik:** I'm bored.

**Gerry:** Let's go.

The two men take off together in some random direction.

**Raoul:** _***realizes he's left alone with only us for company and wanders off***_

**Mary Frances **_***sarcastically***_**:** God, I thought they would never leave.

**Me:** _***gives a little abstracted laugh while removing the curlers from her hair and spraying the perfect curls with hairspray***_

**Christine **_***staring beyond me in an interested manner***_**:** Ooh, who are _they_?

**Mary Frances **_***rolls eyes before replying***_**:** That's Matt and Eddy! Eddy is our Nutcracker and Matt is our Snow Cavalier.

**Christine:** Well, they are _fine_… Which one is which?

**Me:** Matt is the tall, blonde one.

**Mary Frances:** And Eddy is the shorter, dark haired one.

**Christine **_***eyes widen***_**:** Oh my gosh, they're coming this way!

The two young men approached us, dressed in their costumes and tights.

**Eddy **_***greets us jokingly***_**:** Well hello, ladies!

**Christine & Me **_***giggle***_**:** Hello!

**Me **_***smiles and greets Matt as he comes to stand by me***_**:** Hey, Matt!

**Matt **_***returns my smile***_**:** Hey!

**Eddy **_***continues flirting with us***_**:** I must say, you're all looking lovely tonight.

**Christine & Me **_***giggle again***_**:** Aw, thanks, you're too sweet!

**Me **_***suddenly turns to Matt***_**:** Oh, Matt, would you be a dear and go get me two bottled waters from downstairs? I forgot to pick some up on our way up here…

**Matt:** Yeah, sure! _***heads off***_

**Me **_***smiles and calls appreciatively***_**:** Thank you!

**Eddy **_***notices Christine***_**:** I'm afraid I haven't had the pleasure to meet you. I'm Eddy.

**Christine:** It's nice to meet you, Eddy! I'm Christine, I'm, um, their housemate.

**Eddy:** Ah, nice!

**Mary Frances **_***jokingly***_**:** Do you just find it necessary to flirt with my friends?

**Eddy:** Definitely! _***pulls Mary Frances into a hug***_

* * *

Meanwhile, out on the empty stage…

**Erik **_***observing the structures and riggings of the stage***_**:** Hmm…this theatre is much more futuristic…even more so than the BlueBird.

**Gerry:** More like 20 years ago…an' what's the Bluebird?

**Erik:** Don't even ask…all you need to know is that it's another theatre we visited.

**Gerry:** _***shrugs and decides it's probably best to leave that story for another time***_

Raoul then catches up with them and they all head back to our station together. As they approached, we hardly took notice of poor Gerry, who was a little more than offended upon seeing Eddy with Mary Frances…

**Gerry **_***mutters irritably to Erik while approaching us***_**:** Oh, I see how it is, I bet if we walked 'round the house in nothin' but tights we'd get a lot more attention then…

**Erik:** _***snickers and nods***_

**Christine **_***stands up, loops her arm with Raoul, and turns back to Eddy***_**:** And this is my husband, Raoul!

**Eddy:**_***taken aback, looks over at us***_

**Me **_***still fighting Mary Frances' hair, mumbles between the bobby pins sticking out of my mouth***_**:** Well, it was only 1871.

**Eddy **_***mouths to Mary Frances***_**:** _What?_

**Mary Frances **_***mouths back***_**:** _Not a nutcase, I swear!_

**Eddy **_***shrugs before turning back to Christine and Raoul***_**:** So you're married?

**Christine:** Why, yes, quite happily!

**Raoul:** Indeed. _***shakes hands with Eddy* **_How do you do?

**Eddy:** I'm good, nice to meet you. Nice hair!

**Raoul **_***flips his locks***_**:** Why, thank you!

The rest of us had to fight back the laughter that threatened to emerge upon seeing Eddy's facial expression.

**Me **_***suddenly jumps as someone grabs the sides of my waist from behind me***_**:** OH!

**Matt **_***laughs at my reaction***_**:** Gotcha!

**Me **_***laughs as well***_**:** Oh my gosh, Matt, you have _got_ to stop that!

**Matt **_***places water bottles nearby***_**:** Here are the waters you requested, m'lady!

**Me **_***smiles appreciatively***_**:** Thank you, good sir!

**Mary Frances **_***introduces the others***_**:** So, Erik, Gerry, this is Eddy, my Nutcracker; Eddy, meet my two best guy friends and housemates!

**Me **_***adds***_**:** And this is Matt, our sneaky Snow Cavalier.

There was a murmur of "hello"s and "nice to meet you"s before an awkward silence kicked in…which happened to be broken by a rather irritable Gerry.

**Gerry **_***crosses arms, staring Eddy down***_**:** So…_Eddy_…how old are ya, how much time do ya spend in town, what's yer favorite pizza toppin', where do ya live, an' how long does it take ya ta get here?

**Eddy **_***now uneasy***_**:** Uhh…

**Mary Frances **_***quickly provides Eddy with the chance of escape***_**:** Er…why don't you and Matt go get stretching?

**Eddy **_***gives her a swift thankful glance***_**:** Great idea; Matt, let's go.

And then they walked off…really fast…like a power walk…then they ran.

**Me **_***now tying a big red bow around the top half of Mary Frances' hair, no longer capable of holding in my laughter***_**:** Oh my God, Gerry! Do you realize you just asked a guy in his twenties the creepiest questions ever?

**Gerry **_***glaring in the direction that the guys took off in***_**:** A few casual questions aren't "creepy".

**Mary Frances **_***exasperatingly***_**:** No, that was more than extremely creepy! Eddy's probably scared of you now!

**Gerry:** Good.

**Mary Frances:** What the crap is that supposed to mean?

**Erik **_***questions with a smirk***_**:** Why did you ask about pizza toppings?

**Gerry **_***shrugs***_**:** I dunno, I'm kinda hungry.

**Me **_***finally finishes with Mary Frances' hair***_**:** We'll pick up something after the show, but right now, we need to head out into the auditorium, the show's going to be starting up soon. _***turns to Mary Frances***_ You're sure you want to do your makeup by yourself? I wouldn't mind—

**Mary Frances **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Narnie, I'm not six, I know how to put my own makeup on.

**Me:** Alright, alright, I'm just trying to help, that's all. _***hugs her tightly***_ Well, break a leg, hun…not literally, 'cause if you do that, we're screwed!

**Mary Frances **_***laughs***_**:** Thanks! You guys enjoy the show!

**Me:** We will! You're going to be great! See you after curtain call!

I lead the rest of them down the right wing and through one of the side gaps of the big red curtain into the auditorium to get good seats.

**Carl **_***sitting next to his wife near the middle of the auditorium***_**:** So who is this year's Clara, dear?

**Ester **_***looking at the playbill***_**:** Some Mary Frances girl. _***eyes widen in dread upon recognizing Mary Frances' picture***_ Oh no, it's _that_ Mary Frances girl…

The elderly couple then notices me and the others as we take our seats (with some difficulty) a few rows in front of them, therefore confirming their worst nightmare.

**Carl **_***lifts his eyes to the ceiling***_**:** Dear God help us.

Meanwhile, Raoul and Christine are making a scene a few rows down…

**Christine **_***refuses to sit in the seat next to Raoul's, complaining like a 6 year old***_**:** Ew! I don't want to sit in this seat! There's gum stuck to the bottom of it! Raoul, switch with me!

**Raoul **_***already settled next to me***_**:** No, I like this seat! Yours is an entirely different color and would clash with my outfit!

**Christine:** But this one has gum on it!

**Me **_***trying to quiet them down because everyone in the auditorium is now staring at us with eyebrows raised***_**:** Oh for the love of God, guys, the seats are _exactly_ the same!

**Raoul:** No, they're not! That one is a lighter shade!

**Christine:** And that seat is nicer and doesn't have gum stuck to it!

**Audience Members:** _***now pointing fingers and sniggering at us***_

**Me **_***rolls eyes before hissing harshly at the pair next to me***_**:** Christine, you're not going to touch the gum! It's on the bottom! If the two of you do not cut it out _right now_, I swear you _will_ have something to complain about after I get through with the pair of you!

**Christine:** _***shuts up and finally plops down next to Raoul***_

Soon enough, the curtain opened and the show began with the big party scene. I was very pleased that I could actually relax and watch a performance this time and not have to worry about Erik sneaking off and sabotaging the show. I figured Gerry was mature enough not to do anything too stupid, despite his bad mood.

It was quite humorous to watch as he glared at Eddy the entire time with a malicious fire burning in his eyes.

And I will never forget the look on Erik's face when Ja, who plays Uncle Drosselmeyer, came onto the stage, dressed in his fancy suit! But I knew it was the sparkly, black, floor length opera cape that had instantly caught his attention…

**Erik **_***leans over to me and whispers***_**:** _I want one…_

**Me **_***rolls eyes and snickers***_**:** _Of course you do._

* * *

Once intermission rolled around, I instantly got to my feet in order to take a much needed bathroom break.

**Me:** OK, y'all stay put, I'll be right back, my bladder is about to burst like a frickin' water balloon!

**Erik **_***teases***_**:** Well, that's a lovely mental image…

**Me **_***glares at him***_**:** I'd hit you, but I don't want to make any sudden movements that would cause me to pee my pants! _***turns to leave***_

**Christine **_***calls after me***_**:** Hey, Lauren, can me and Raouly-Bear go check out the gift shop in the lobby?

**Me **_***stops before replying***_**:** Sure, I don't care. _***turns to leave again***_

**Christine:** Do you mind if we borrow some money from your purse?

**Me **_***stops, rolls eyes***_**:** Yeah, fine. _***tries to leave again***_

**Raoul **_***pulls a pack of gum out of my purse, calls after me***_**:** Oh, hey, can I have this last piece of gum?

**Me **_***finally snaps***_**:** Oh for God's sake! You two are just desperate to drive me insane in every way possible, aren't you? _***hurriedly storms away***_

**Raoul & Christine **_***get up from their seats and head for the lobby***_**:** Jeeze, someone needs a nap…

**Gerry **_***jumps up the moment they're out of sight, turns to Erik***_**:** Alright, they're gone, let's go.

**Erik:** Whoa, wait, where are you going?

**Gerry:** I think it's time fer a li'l revenge…

**Erik **_***gets the drift, but is not interested (for once)***_**:** Oh… Well, have fun, mate! _***smiles encouragingly***_

**Gerry:** Seriously? I thought the word "revenge" would have ya practically leadin' the way! Besides, I could really use yer help!

**Erik **_***shrugs, crosses his arms***_**:** Your girl, your problem.

**Gerry:** She's _yer_ best friend!

**Erik:** Indeed, but what makes you think I'm going to get up out of my seat and deliberately get on Lauren's bad side all for your own sake of entertainment and/or satisfaction?

**Gerry:** Are ya _blind_? That Eddy kid was all over Mary Frances!

**Erik:** I didn't think—

**Gerry:** What's worse is that she's goin' along with it! Didjya see the two of 'em durin' that openin' scene? Who knows what other crap they've been doin' this past week!

**Erik **_***takes on a Scottish accent, mocks Gerry's earlier question***_**:** "Are ya always this controllin'?"

**Gerry **_***glares, retorts sarcastically***_**:** Ha ha, ye're so funny. Now are ya comin' or aren't ya?

**Erik **_***still wary***_**:** If it's Eddy's age that's bothering you, you might want to—

**Gerry:** Of course it's not the age!

**Erik:** OK, just checking. _***leans forward***_ But I still don't see what's in this for me…

**Gerry **_***thinks for a second before replying confidently***_**:** …You'll have shot at gettin' that cape.

**Erik **_***instantly jumps up from his seat***_**:** Sweet! I'm in!

The two men proceeded to sneak up onto the stage and slip behind the curtain. Now backstage, they managed to avoid all the staff and dancers and find their way up to the rafters, where they could watch all the action from above without being noticed.

**Erik **_***following Gerry***_**:** So, what's the plan?

**Gerry:** Uh, well, I don't have one yet, I was jus' gonna improvise.

**Erik **_***looks at him in disbelief***_**:** …You're telling me you dragged me back here without a single idea of what you even plan to execute? _***shakes his head***_ You have a lot to learn, my friend. I never jump into something without some sort of strategy, along with backup ideas in case the other fails—

**Gerry **_***spots Mary Frances and Eddy, hushes Erik***_**:** Shh! There they are.

Down below, Mary Frances and Eddy are both goofing off and trying to stuff themselves into the snow scene sleigh that is clearly only meant for one person.

**Mary Frances **_***Eddy is sitting on her leg in order to fit in the sleigh***_**:** OK, seriously, my leg is completely numb! Get up!

**Eddy **_***laughs and gets up***_**:** Fine, we'll just switch.

As they do so, Eddy nervously looks over his shoulder before allowing Mary Frances to sit on his lap.

**Mary Frances **_***catches this***_**:** You looking for somebody?

**Eddy **_***scoffs before confessing***_**:** I'm not going to lie; your admirer was a little more than upset with me earlier.

**Mary Frances:** You shouldn't let him scare you. He just has some sort of a jealousy issue I think… It kind of runs in the family… He wouldn't really hurt you.

**Eddy **_***glances over his shoulder yet again***_**:** Yeah, I'd rather not take my chances… Well, this has been fun, but I better get to changing for the next scene.

**Mary Frances **_***gets back up and allows him to go***_**:** Alright, Act 2 is going to start any minute, anyway. See you in a bit!

From up above, Gerry and Erik watched Eddy's departing figure before turning to look at one another with identical sly smirks playing upon their lips.

**Gerry:** You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

**Erik **_***wider smirk***_**:** I'm about 99.8 percent certain I am.

No more was needed to be said, for they were already on their way to the men's dressing room.

* * *

By that time, the second act had already begun and the court of angels was dancing about on the stage.

Once they snuck into the men's dressing room, the pair was relieved to find no one else was around…and that Eddy was currently using the restroom.

**Gerry **_***whispers while creeping across the room***_**:** Oh good, the boy's takin' a—_***nearly swears***_

**Erik **_***hurriedly covers Gerry's mouth***_**:** No! If you swear and that bloody machine goes off, our cover's blown!

**Gerry **_***shrugs Erik off***_**:** Alright, alright!

They continue creeping across the room before reaching their target…which is Eddy's dance bag…

**Gerry **_***grabs it and slings it over his shoulder***_**:** Mission accomplished. Let's go. _***starts to head for the door***_

**Erik:** Hey, I think those are his tights lying on the ground there!

**Gerry:** Ha, score! Grab those, too! I can't wait ta see the look on that kid's face when all his clothes've mysteriously gone missin'!

**Erik **_***sees the sparkly cape lying across a chair and immediately grabs it as well***_**:** Ah! And there's the cape!

**Gerry **_***watching as he dramatically removes his original plain old black cape***_**:** Ya know Lauren's gonna kill ya fer takin' that, right?

**Erik **_***now securing his newfound cape***_**:** Eh, she'll get over it…eventually. _***finishes fastening the ties***_ There, got it.

And not a moment too soon; they then heard the toilet flush from the bathroom and both hurriedly scurried out the door before they were discovered.

**Gerry **_***as they run down the corridor to get back up to the rafters***_**:** _Go, go, go!_

Since most of the cast was either on stage or downstairs in their dressing room, they easily avoided the staff and made it to the safety of the rafters.

**Gerry **_***plops down on the floor of the rafter, panting***_**:** Well…that went well!

**Erik **_***sits next to him, also panting***_**:** For something…we came up with…practically five seconds…before we went and pulled it off…I say that went extremely well! Not bad, mate! _***fist pumps Gerry***_

**Gerry:** Thanks. _***gets into a more comfortable position so he can see what is happening below backstage***_ Now we just sit back…and watch the fun!

**Erik **_***after a few seconds of silence, glances at Eddy's dance bag***_**:** …You think he's got any food in there?

**Gerry:** _***unzips the bag and starts scavenging through it***_

It didn't take long for Eddy to realize his belongings were missing…and he was _furious_ by the time he emerged from the confines of the dressing room!

**Eddy:**_***storming around the backstage area, wearing nothing but his dance belt***_

**Mary Frances **_***comes off stage, eyes widen upon seeing him***_**:** EDDY! Put some clothes on or something! You're scarring all the little girls for life!

**Eddy:** I would, but someone took my bag and all my clothes and hid them!

**Mary Frances **_***immediately suspicious***_**:** …What?

**Eddy:** Yeah! I go to the bathroom for two seconds, come back, and they're gone!

**Ja **_***walks by, looking around for something***_**:** Has anyone seen my cape by any chance?

**Mary Frances:** Hmm…

**Eddy **_***goes back to ranting***_**:** Seriously, where in the ***BLEEP!*** is my bag? _***stops, looks around for the source of the unexpected noise***_ …What the ***BLEEP!*** was that? …***BLEEP!*** …What the ***BLEEP!*** is going on?

**Mary Frances:** Oh, it's just our *BLEEP* machine. It follows us everywhere and blocks out any offensive expletives and keeps our language clean. _***smiles innocently***_

**Eddy **_***trying to contemplate her explanation***_**:** …So if I say, ***BLEEP!***

**Mary Frances:** It goes off.

**Eddy:** And if I say ***BLEEP!***?

**Mary Frances:** It goes off.

**Eddy:** Cool… _***goes back to ranting***_ OK, seriously, when I get to the bottom of this, someone's going to get it!

Suddenly, his black ballet shoe (which is completely unnecessary for his next scene) flies out of nowhere and nearly hits him in the head!

**Eddy **_***picks it up, calls while looking around for the thief***_**:** NOT FUNNY!

Upon witnessing this, Mary Frances caught the faint sound of two low chuckles and her assumption of the theft of Eddy's missing belongings was instantly confirmed…and she knew just where to capture the culprits!

* * *

Meanwhile, Erik and Gerry were sniggering uncontrollably at poor, extremely confused Eddy, all the while pitching random objects from the bag at him.

**Gerry **_***after throwing down a particularly smelly sock at Eddy***_**:** Now this is my kinda revenge!

**Erik:** Indeed, it's a far cry from physical interference, but this is quite humorous!

**Mary Frances **_***quietly comes up onto the rafters and sees them, exclaims and points in accusation***_**:** YOU TWO!

**Gerry & Erik **_***grab the bag and scramble to their feet***_**:** OH MY GOD, RUN! _***take off in the opposite direction***_

**Mary Frances **_***chases after them relentlessly***_**:** GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!

The chase only persisted for half a minute before…

**Gerry:** _***accidentally drops the bag, which plummets to the stage below***_

**Gerry & Erik **_***stop in their tracks, watch the bag descend with dismay***_**:** AGH! NO! CRAP!

**Eddy's Bag:** _***happens to hit the sugar plum fairy right on the head***_

**Sugar Plum Fairy:** _***is knocked unconscious, collapses on the floor***_

**Audience:** _***GASPS!***_

**Me **_***exclaims in shock***_**:** Oh my God, what in the—?

**Christine:** I don't remember that being part of the plot!

**Raoul:** Who cares! That was _awesome_!

With the show now disrupted, Mary Frances, Gerry, and Erik all stare down at the stage, not even knowing what to think…

**Mary Frances:** _***collects herself and continues chasing them down the rafters***_

They soon made their way down to backstage where everyone is clueless as to what to do about the sugar plum fairy and the random dance bag that fell out of the sky!

**Backstage Staff Dude 1:** What do we do? Close the curtain?

**Backstage Staff Dude 2:** No! That'll only confuse the audience even more!

**Backstage Staff Dude 3:** Well, somebody's gotta go out there!

**Eddy **_***peeking through the curtains of the wings***_**:** Oh, hey, is that my bag?

**Gerry:**_***happens to be rushing by and shoves Eddy onto the stage to fetch his bag***_

Now you can imagine the audience's reaction when a man wearing absolutely nothing but a dance belt suddenly stumbles out of the wings…

**Raoul:** _***instantly covers Christine's eyes***_

**Me:** Yeah, _that_ definitely isn't part of the plot, either…

**Random Audience Member Dude:** I know for a fact I did not pay $12 for _this_!

Poor Eddy quickly scooted across the stage and grabbed his bag, which he used to shield himself with, before also grabbing the sugar plum fairy and dragging her off the stage.

All was silent…before everyone in the building suddenly burst into hysterical laughter! Even Mary Frances was laughing at the whole mishap! Erik and Gerry both took advantage of the moment and snuck back up to the rafters in order to avoid her wrath…

And so, after a few minutes, they revived the sugar plum fairy, Eddy was finally able to put his costume on, and the show was back on!

All the while, Gerry and Erik hung out up in the rafters and watched the remainder of the show from above.

**Gerry **_***breaks the silence***_**:** …Yeah, Lauren's pro'ly gonna have both our hides fer that.

**Erik:** And Mary Frances is probably just as upset for once.

**Gerry:** Well, I think she'll be okay…

**Erik:** How do you mean?

**Gerry:** _***chooses not to reply but gives Erik "the look" instead***_

**Erik **_***gets the memo, smirks***_**:** Ohhhhh…

They dropped the subject and fell silent while watching some of the performance below.

**Erik **_***strikes up another conversation***_**:** Well, I'm just relieved Lauren apparently hasn't been hanging around some other—

**Gerry **_***interrupts***_**:** What 'bout that Matt kid?

**Erik:** …What about him?

**Gerry:** Ya didn't notice?

**Erik:** …Notice what?

**Gerry **_***rolls eyes***_**:** Him _flirtin'_ with her earlier? I was surprised ya didn't strangle him fer grabbin' her like that!

**Erik:** Whoa, wait, I thought he was just picking on her! I do the same thing to her all the time back at the house 'cause she falls for it every time!

**Gerry:** No, that was a definite flirtin' tactic on his part. I'll bet ya anythin' that he's the one she's been spendin' so much time with over this past week!

**Erik:** Lauren wouldn't dump me for some teenager in tights!

**Gerry **_***shrugs***_**:** Well, _she_ can be quite unpredictable…as well as an unintentional flirt… I dunno, maybe 'M wrong, jus' keep yer eye on 'em after the show ends.

**Erik:**_** *turns away, growls crossly***_

* * *

Once the show came to a close, I led Christine and Raoul up onto the quickly crowding stage.

**Me **_***hugs Mary Frances after finally locating her***_**:** Beautiful job, as always, hon!

**Raoul & Christine **_***both hug her at the same time***_**:** Yeah, you were great!

**Mary Frances:** Thanks, y'all! _***laughs***_ What did you think of our "mishap"?

**Me:** I pretty much expected it after coming back from the bathroom at intermission and finding both of them missing from their seats. I'm going to have a very long talk with those two…

**Mary Frances:** Oh don't be too hard on them. Despite the mere rudeness of the whole thing, it was just a joke and they didn't harm anybody and the show went on in the end.

**Me:** Fine. _***teases with a smirk***_ Besides, I understand it obviously wasn't _my guy_ who decided to sabotage the show out of jealousy!

**Mary Frances:** Yes, but _yours_ did agree to help the other out.

Before I could reply, I was startled by a pair of hands that suddenly covered my eyes from behind.

**Matt **_***asks playfully***_**:** Guess who?

**Me **_***laughs***_**:** I hardly think any guessing is required!

**Matt:** _***laughs and removes his hands***_

**Me **_***turns around to face him***_**:** You did great, by the way!

**Matt:** Why, thank you! _***hugs me but then lifts me off the ground and spins around***_

**Me **_***laughing while holding on***_**:** OH!

Meanwhile, directly above our heads…

**Erik:** _***staring down at the stage in fury***_

**Gerry **_***leaning against the railing next to him***_**:** What'd I tell ya?

**Erik **_***snaps back***_**:** Shut up! No one asked your opinion, you lousy Scotsman!

**Gerry **_***turns to leave***_**:** Whatever, I'm outta here, I've got business I have ta take care of.

**Erik:** Business? What about me? I assisted you in getting your revenge on that Eddy dude!

**Gerry **_***quotes Erik from earlier***_**:** "Yer girl, yer problem." I just suggest ya cool off before ya go an' do somethin' too rash! _***heads down***_

**Erik **_***calls after him***_**:** Traitor! _***sighs and shakes head after not getting a response***_ Oh who needs him anyway?

The disgruntled Phantom then looked back down upon me and Matt, who are now laughing and dancing together around the stage. He growled yet again at the sight that met his eyes before something suddenly caught his attention nearby off to the right.

It was the snow machine that they had used to rain down little flakes of soap to make it look like snow during the snow scene…

**Erik:** _***evil grin instantly crosses his face…well, half his face***_

* * *

**Me **_***still dancing with Matt, laughs as we fall out of sync***_**:** Matt, face it, I can't dance!

**Matt:** Yes, you can! It just takes concentration! _***takes my hand and spins me around***_

**Me:** Oh yes, the one thing I completely lack half the time!

**Matt **_***releases me and changes the subject***_**:** So are you guys coming to dinner tonight? If so, I can reserve a table so we can all sit together.

All of a sudden, before I could even open my mouth to reply, all of the sudsy contents of the snow machine above were dumped upon my head, drenching my hair and clothes!

**Erik **_***eyes widen, covers his mouth in horror upon realizing too late he had missed his original target***_**:** …Oh ***BLEEP!***…

As I blinked and stood in both fury and confusion, Matt could only stare in bewilderment at what had just occurred in front of him.

**Me **_***finally finds my voice again, tries to keep it under control***_**:** Um, yeah, I'm going to have to go with "no" on dinner…but thank you for offering.

**Matt **_***collects himself***_**:** It's fine, um, I'll go get some towels for you. _***heads off***_

**Me **_***mumbles***_**:** Thanks.

My blood was boiling as I stood there and had odd stares and looks thrown at me from every direction. I knew _he_ had done this and I was ready to explode the moment I laid my eyes on him.

**Mary Frances **_***approaches me after going around and congratulating the other dancers***_**:** Whoa! What happened to you?

**Me **_***snaps heatedly upon seeing Erik sauntering up to us***_**:** I don't know, why don't you ask _him_!

**Erik **_***visibly struggling not to burst out laughing as he comes forward***_**:** I'm sorry.

**Me **_***retorts angrily***_**:** _Sorry?_ You're _sorry_? Look at what you did! You have completely humiliated me!

**Erik **_***still fighting back his laughter***_**:** I wasn't aiming for you, I swear!

**Me:** Oh, then I assume you were initially aiming for _Matt_?

**Erik:** …Perhaps?

I then took notice of the sparkles on the opera cape he's wearing…

**Me **_***suspiciously***_**:** What is that you're wearing?

**Erik **_***"Busted!"***_**:** Uhhhhh…

**Me **_***raises voice***_**:** Is that _Ja's cape_?

**Erik **_***warily***_**:** …Maybe?

**Me **_***exclaims exasperatingly***_**:** UGH! Mary Frances, please go get changed so we can get dinner and head home!

**Mary Frances:** _***hurriedly heads off backstage without protest***_

Matt then came back with a couple of towels. The moment Erik saw him, he took off in the opposite direction.

**Matt **_***hands them to me***_**:** Here are the towels.

**Me **_***mumbles***_**:** Thanks, Matt. I'll see you tomorrow. _***goes backstage***_

I sat by Christine while Mary Frances changed into her regular clothes.

**Me **_***attempting to squeeze my hair out with one of the towels, but only creating more sudsy bubbles***_**:** I swear, I am never going to get this out of my hair…

**Christine **_***dabbing my clothes with another towel***_**:** Raoul probably has something that will help.

**Me:** That bloody Phantom…I don't know what I'm going to do with him…

**Mary Frances **_***changing in front of us***_**:** You have to admit though…it was still pretty funny.

**Me:** Be that as it may, it was still wrong and completely humiliating! I thought we had gotten past the jealousy issue…

**Mary Frances:** At this point, I don't think there's a cure for jealousy.

**Me:** Oh now you tell me?

* * *

Once she was changed, Mary Frances started repacking her plastic bin while I rounded the rest of the gang up.

**Me **_***walking out with Christine, Raoul, and Erik, calls to Mary Frances***_**:** I have no idea where Gerry got off to, but please find him and meet us at the car in five, okay?

**Mary Frances **_***nods***_**:** Alright.

She stood up once her bin was packed and started for the wings in order to find the Scotsman. All the while, Gerry was secretly looming in the shadows, watching her approach and ready to make a move.

Eddy notices this and decides to intervene and get revenge for the dance bag mishap from earlier…

**Eddy **_***grabs Mary Frances from behind and hugs her, knowing Gerry is watching***_**:** Why, my little Clara! You didn't think you were going to walk out of here without saying goodbye, did you?

**Mary Frances **_***jokes playfully***_**:** Nice to see you with some clothes on again!

**Eddy:** _***laughs and starts mischievously dancing with her***_

**Mary Frances:** And I'm sorry, we had a little accident, so Lauren's ready to get on home and has been rushing me out the door and I didn't know where you were—

**Eddy **_***still leading her in their little dance***_**:** Oh, you're fine…I just wanted to say that—_***suddenly gives her a lingering kiss on the cheek***_

**Mary Frances **_***taken aback***_**:** Oh! Eddy! What—

**Eddy **_***quickly takes his leave, announcing loudly***_**:** Until we meet again…sweet Clara.

Gerry then stepped out of the shadows, apparently concealing something behind his back, and scowled after Eddy's retreating figure until he was out of sight and then turned to Mary Frances.

**Mary Frances **_***crosses her arms***_**:** I'm guessing you saw all that…

**Gerry **_***tersely***_**:** Yes. He knew it, too.

**Mary Frances **_***raises an eyebrow***_**:** You're truly jealous of him?

When he didn't answer, she changed the subject for the better.

**Mary Frances:** Where have you been? We've all been looking for you.

**Gerry **_***clears throat, takes a step closer to her***_**:** I went out front 'cause I heard they had flowers on sale fer my special dancer… _***reveals and hands her a single red rose before taking her into his arms***_ You were wonderful up there, sweetheart.

**Mary Frances **_***smiles, forgetting her bad mood***_**:** Thanks! _***stops and snaps at him***_ I'm still mad at you.

**Gerry **_***chuckles, holds her back to gaze down into her eyes***_**:**Well…ya won't be after a minute…_***leans down and gently presses his lips to her***_

**Mary Frances **_***after they break apart, now a giddy mess, sighs in a singsongy way***_**:** _Ohhh wow…_

**Gerry **_***smirks before offering her his arm***_**:** Shall we?

**Mary Frances:** _***smiles and takes it before they walk out of the theatre together***_

* * *

By the time they finally made it to the van, Erik was in the driver's seat, I'm sitting in shotgun, and Raoul and Christine were in the backseat. Mary Frances and Gerry climb in and sit in the middle row.

**Gerry **_***notices my sudsy hair and damp clothes as Erik starts to drive out of the parking lot***_**:** Um, Lauren, I know it says ta "rinse an' repeat" on the bottle, but the clothes are supposed ta come off first!

**Erik **_***turns to face Gerry, asks in rage***_**:** _…Just what are you suggesting, Scotsman?_

**Mary Frances **_***exclaims to Erik***_**:** Eyes on the road!

**Gerry **_***realizes how his comment sounded***_**:** Ah ***BLEEP***, that didn't come out right…

**Me **_***rolls eyes, retorts***_**:** Yeah, ya think?

**Gerry **_***laughs nervously, stammers***_**:** No, I meant—I didn't mean it like that—honestly!

**Erik:** Uh huh, you know exactly what you meant by that! _***makes a turn a little too sharply***_

**Mary Frances:** Erik, slow down when you make turns like that!

**Christine & Raoul **_***call from the back seat***_**:** Yeah, seriously! You're making our pieces slide out of place!

**Me **_***asks a little hesitantly***_**:** Umm…what are you two doing back there?

**Christine & Raoul **_***hold up board game***_**:** Playing checkers!

**Everybody:** _***roll eyes***_

* * *

We made it home after picking up some Japanese takeout for dinner. I washed the suds out of my hair before joining the others, who were already eating and lounging on the couches in the den in front of the TV. Despite my poor mood, I could not help but smile at the sight of Mary Frances as she leaned against Gerry while he played with her curls.

I glanced at Erik, who was seated at the other end of the sofa, and secretly wished I could cuddle with him, but I was still a little frustrated with him and wasn't about to let my guard down.

After the show ended, I instantly turned the TV off.

**Raoul **_***finishing off his dinner, sitting with Christine, tries to make conversation***_**:** Well…tonight went well.

**Me & Erik **_***snap at him in unison***_**:** Shut up.

**Raoul **_***shrinks, but mumbles***_**:** Better than the 'BlueBird Incident', anyway.

**Gerry:** Again with the BlueBird reference! I feel like'm missin' an inside joke or somethin'!

**Me **_***ignores him***_**:** Honestly, how is it we can't bring you all to a theatre without the whole project going to you-know-where?

**Mary Frances:** Yeah, I mean, come on, for some loons who originated from a fancy opera house, y'all have some serious bad theatre karma!

**Christine:** We had bad theatre karma at the opera house, as well!

**Me:** …Point taken…

**Raoul:** Besides, don't look at _us_! Erik is the one who's always wreaking havoc! Even back at the opera house, _he_ was the source of all the trouble!

**Erik:** _***goes to retort***_

**Me **_***cuts him off***_**:** Again, point taken, but before this breaks out into a big fight, I think it's time we all get to bed. We've had a long night and have an even longer one tomorrow.

**Raoul & Christine & Mary Frances & Gerry:** _***murmur in agreement while getting to their feet***_

I also got up and started collecting our leftover takeout boxes and other trash from dinner. I noticed that Erik stayed put and silent on his end of the couch and showed no intention of moving.

**Me **_***glances up from dumping all the trash into the trashcan***_**:** 'Night, y'all.

**Everyone:** Goodnight.

I watched in interest as Gerry kissed the top of Mary Frances' head before heading up the stairs.

**Me **_***smirking in satisfaction, starts teasing her in a singsongy tone***_**:** Oooooh…look who's finally coming around!

**Mary Frances **_***now blushing, goes past me to her room***_**:** 'Night, Narnie.

Even after I finished cleaning up, Erik was still sitting there, so I took a seat on the opposite end of the sofa, crossed my arms, and allowed the silence to overtake us.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him firmly sitting there with his jaw clenched and his own arms crossed. He looks so…_attractive_ when he's cross. Oh why is it I cannot hold a grudge against him these days?

I felt my arms slack and a sigh escape my lips as I turned my head to look at him. The tension immediately let up as we made eye contact and the next thing I knew, I had practically jumped him, torn his mask away, and we were now kissing fervently in order to make up for lost time over the past week…

**Me **_***trying to apologize in between kisses***_**:** I'm so _***kiss***_ sorry, I _***kiss***_ really am, it was _***kiss***_ wrong of me to _***kiss***_ not even spend _***kiss***_ any time with you _***kiss***_ this past week. _***kiss***_ I did not mean to—

**Erik:** No, I'm _***kiss***_ sorry for _***kiss***_ overreacting, _***kiss***_ I know you _***kiss***_ would never—

**Me:** I shouldn't _***kiss***_ have yelled _***kiss***_ at you—

**Erik:** I shouldn't _***kiss***_ have tried _***kiss***_ to dump that _***kiss***_ soap on that kid _***kiss***_ and helped disrupt _***kiss***_ the show _***kiss***_—

**Mary Frances **_***enters the kitchen to get a glass of water, sees us in the den, shields her eyes in alarm***_**:** Hey, Lauren, you know you're underage, right?

Erik and I immediately broke apart, cheeks now glowing bright red, and awkwardly wished one another goodnight before parting ways and scurrying off to bed for the night.

* * *

_OMG, we're back, baby! _:D_ We apologize for such the LONG AND RIDICULOUS wait for this update! Mary Frances and I have both been super busy…and I've been lazy, too… Anyway, we are back and better than ever and ready for another year of Hysterics!_

_February 13__th__ marked our __**One Year Anniversary of Hysterics**__! We've got so much in store for you guys this year! More get-together ideas, contests, ridiculous scenarios, and awkward moments all around!_

_We'd also like to create a Facebook page for our Phantom Hysterics so we can keep you guys updated on what's going on, but we want to know how many of you Phangirls have accounts first! _:)_ We can post pictures and videos and give y'all exclusive extras and a behind the scenes look into the world we have created!_

_As for our weekend beach trip, that is coming up next! _:D_ Thank you to ALL of you awesome Phangirls who are joining us! We can't wait to see you all! Be sure to pack plenty of sunscreen! This is going to be WILD!_


	27. A Farewell Note

A Farewell Note

Hi everybody…remember me? It's Lauren…and well…it's been a whole year to the date since I've even been on this site. I owe you guys a sincere apology and an explanation…

Y'all have more than likely been wondering where I went, what's been going on, and where I'm going from here.

Well…

Where I went: Y'all are probably thinking I dropped off the face of the Earth, right? Well, you're right! (Not literally, but figuratively…) But in all seriousness, I disappeared from this "alternative life" with Erik, Christine, and Raoul because I had pretty much started to mature and I got a life. I turned 17, got my license, and then was cast in my first lead role in a play at my local community theatre! It was called _Steel Magnolias_ and I played Annelle! (If you haven't seen it or heard of it, I recommend looking into it and watching the movie! It is fantastic and so funny and heartwarming!) Anyway…I was so busy with it and everything else going on, I just kinda forgot about my "alternative life" over time. Before I knew it, I never even started the beach get-together chapter and I found myself not even thinking about the story anymore.

What's been going on: Well…to answer honestly, A LOT has happened and been going on! But it's all been good stuff! As you know now, I have been much more involved in my community theatre. After _Steel Magnolias_, later on in the summer, I was cast in my second lead role. I played Cecily in _The Importance of Being Earnest_, which is yet again a wonderful show and if you haven't heard of it, check it out! And then directly after that, I played Winnie in the musical, _Annie Get Your Gun_! I've made so many new friends and have learned so much!

I'm also no longer a Goth girl and into all that dark stuff. I'm just a normal 18 year old young woman! I love my life. I don't listen to dark depressing bands (I avoid that now…) and I wear colorful clothing now (I actually avoid black now all together…). I have left that behind. I was trying to be something which I am not and I realized that last year and have grown up out of it and could not be happier with who I am.

Believe it or not, I was depressed. I considered suicide often. I have scars on my arms. This Phantom thing kept me alive. It made me happy. It allowed me to escape into a fantasy world, or an alternative life. Y'all made me happy when you reviewed and told me how much y'all were enjoying it! Erik made me happy. It made me happy to write about cuddling, kissing, flirting, and falling into awkward situations with everybody's favorite Phantom. But now, I actually have all of that in my life…

Oh, and here's something cool! Do y'all remember David, that young man I had a sudden crush on in 2011 and then Erik nearly killed him during the performance of Once Upon a Mattress? (If you haven't read it, go and do so! If you have, reread it! It's one of our best!) Anyway…well, believe it or not, David and I are now together, as in an official relationship! Over the past year, he and I started talking and becoming close friends and (you guessed it!) the feelings grew and developed! And now, this past month (when I finally turned 18) we finally sealed the deal! He was the one who made me realize I was living a lie and looking at life in the dark aspect. He healed my scars, made me feel whole, inspired me, made me happy. He raised me up. He is amazing and I love him with all of my heart.

Where I'm going from here: As much as it pains me to say so, I am leaving FanFiction. I have no choice. I just don't have the time or the dedication I used to. I don't know how many of y'all are still on this site, but I'm so sorry to cut this awesome story short like I am! There's nothing I can do… Please try to understand. I'm going to leave it up for y'all to go back and enjoy whenever you wish, but I will not be updating anymore.

Thanks for all your support, reviews, participation, and most importantly, friendship! And of course, a special thank you to Mary Frances for all the help! She was the one who came up with all the crazy ideas and dialogue! Without her, this story wouldn't be what it was!

I hope all of y'all are doing as well as I am. I will always cherish the memories we made and the fun we had!

Signing off for the last time…

Lauren


End file.
